Just to Tantalize You…

In the latest installment of Jack and the Pancakes, Moley is distracted from her campaign to expose the innocent Dr. Cleveland as “the Al Capone of crime” by a desire to write a best-selling novel. Her story, she explains, is set in the Renaissance “thousands of years ago,” and is about the great artist, Leandro da Vinchy, and his brother, Vinnie. “Renaissance means ‘Big Deal’ in Italian,” she explains to the Pancakes. “They lived in ruins back then, instead of houses. It was the thing to do.”

“Vinnie da Vinchy was not a great artist like his brother, but he was a master of disguise,” Moley tells the Pancakes. “He could disguise himself as a building, and he once disguised himself as a picnic table. People ate off him without knowing he was a guy.” In the most exciting part of the story, Leandro and Vinnie are riding in a stagecoach from Rome to Pizza when they’re attacked by Indians, and quickly have to shave their heads to avoid getting scalped.

When Jack objects to this horrendous abuse of history, the Pancakes tell him that Moley’s history is much better than his dull and boring history. Jack faints, and his Mountie hat falls off. “See? I knew it was an exciting story,” Moley says.

And that’s all for now, folks. The rest is unsuitable for publication in this uptight climate of political correctness.