The Top Real-World Wacko Fantasies of 2011

We fantasy writers are supposed to have vivid imaginations, but ours pale beside the imaginations of our public leaders and intelligentsia. Their imaginings border on the delusional.

This was very clearly demonstrated all throughout 2011. Below are some of the most lurid examples of it.

1. The government can–and should–enforce “income equality.” Where does fantasy end, and sheer madness begin? Probably here. Furthermore, politicians who try to get ahead by inciting class warfare are playing with fire.

The aims and rhetoric of Occupy Wall Street and its sponsors among the politicos and movie stars are so insanely fantastical as to be self-evident.

2. “Gender is a spectrum.” Expect to see a lot more of this movement in the near future, especially in the public schools and colleges. It’s coming down from the top, having been enthusiastically endorsed and pushed by the likes of the European Court, the National Education Association, the Canadian government, and Satan.

To sum it up in a very few words, children are to be taught, “You can be a boy one day and a girl the next–it all depends on how you feel!”

3. “China will soon become the world’s dominant economy.” This is passionately wishful thinking on the part of Western intellectuals and noozies, who desperately want to see communism finally prove itself.

In fact, China has a tradition of falsified reports, shoddy workmanship, corruption, suppression of unwelcome facts, denial, and deception going back to Mao’s Great Leap Forward, 1958-1962. China has succeeded brilliantly at pretending to be successful. Don’t be too surprised if all the fun’s over by 2020.

4. Dying “mainline” (translation: liberal) Protestant churches can save themselves by becoming even more liberal. What would you do if you were in charge of a church denomination, out of which people were stampeding in droves? If you knew they were fleeing because the denomination was growing more liberal, more anti-Christian, more anti-Bible by the day, would you recommend that the solution to the church’s membership loss was… to ordain openly practicing, unrepentant homosexuals as pastors and elders?

That’s what the Presbyterian Church USA has done, this year.

It ain’t gonna work, fellas.

5. Pouring more money into public education will improve it. Ready for the rubber room? If you agree with the preceding statement, you are.

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan wants “a national starting salary of $60,000” for public school teachers. Right here where I live, a teacher was recently suspended (with pay, of course) for exposing himself to children on the Internets. He’d been in the district for 12 years and his yearly salary–not counting fabulous benefits–is over $91,000. If he can stay in until he retires at the ripe old age of 55, he’ll probably be making almost $150,000 a year (a most conservative estimate!), which the taxpayers of New Jersey will then have to pay him every year for the rest of his life. Meanwhile, a new poll reveals many New Jersey schoolteachers don’t know what or when the Battle of the Bulge was…

When are we going to put a stop to this?

–Well, there you have it: five of the most off-the-wall fantasies, all recommended as public policy, of 2011. These ought to be pretty hard to beat, for lunacy and potential for disaster: but our nation’s leaders have all of 2012 to come up with something.