Global Warming Wiz Pleads Guilty to Fraud

John Beale, “climate change” expert, the highest-paid employee of the Environmental Protection Agency, all-around kook, has pleaded guilty to defrauding the government out of about a million dollars in salary and perks. (See “Surreal: EPA’s Leading Climate Change Expert Pleads Guilty to Elaborate Fraud,” by Guy Benson at, Dec. 17, 2013.)

There are lies, damned lies, and amazing colossal whoppers.

To get out of doing his real job, Mr. Beale told his bosses at the EPA that he was busy spying for the CIA in Pakistan. He raked in hundreds of thousands of dollars in phony expenses and unearned bonuses, sometimes taking junkets to London, where he stayed in five-star hotels and rode around in hired limos. The rest of the time, he hung out at his Cape Cod vacation home. He also lied that he’d caught malaria while serving in Vietnam, although he never had malaria and had never been to Vietnam.

Beale could be sentenced to at least 30 months in prison, unless his lawyer succeeds in getting him excused on the grounds of sheer balminess.

Mr. Beale did not claim to have invented the Internet; nor did he claim that he and Mrs. Beale were the inspiration for Erich Segal’s “Love Story.” The climate change expert who makes those claims is still at large.

Folks, God must be really, really mad at us, to have given our country into the hands of the liars, lunatics, thieves, and scoundrels who govern every aspect of it today. Just as He gave Israel to the Assyrians, and Judah to the Babylonians, He has sent us into captivity–captivity in our own country, administered by our own politicians, judges [Hey, did you know polygamy is now OK? Last week a federal judge said so!], noozies, “educators,” and all the rest.

Confess, repent, and pray for deliverance.

Pray very, very hard.


8 comments on “Global Warming Wiz Pleads Guilty to Fraud

  1. When I was foot-loose and fancy-free as the sayings go, I had the luck of dating a daughter of a huge police force of a major communist country. Think Zasa Zasa Gabor and you’ll see the rationalization going on.

    One day I figured it was safe to ask her, what it was like growing up as the daughter of a powerful police officer in a communist country?

    In her dreamy relaxed mannerism which only enhanced the surrealism of hanging out in this Iron Curtain capital with this gorgeous woman, she thought about my question as if it had never occurred to her before and said, “but darling, it’s NOT a communist country for ME!”

    Then she added to that bomb shell as I was contemplating the full extent of her position. “What you don’t understand living in Canada (which I do)or America, people ALWAYS get the government they deserve…”

    Don’t look to God for America’s predicament, but in the mirror.

    I’m preaching to myself.

    Love your postings.

    A subscriber from London, Ontario, Canada.
    Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

    1. Wow! I’ll have to remember that quote–“It’s not a communist country for ME!” That’s even better than Edgar Rice Burroughs’ “Fun for ganaks, not gilaks.”

      You’ve said a mouthful, brother.

  2. Where did lovely Mr Beale learn how to lie and steal?
    It is a secret he needs to reveal so I can haggle, laze and deal
    And make enough to buy a meal! LOL

  3. Oh! This is fun!
    And we’ve only just begun
    To share ideas in rhyme and verse.
    We aren’t the types to swear and curse
    Before we break and blow a gasket
    And get entombed in a wicker casket.

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