On Turning 65

Tomorrow, God willing, I will have completed 65 years on this planet and will become an official and bona fide Senior Citizen. To avoid hurting my feelings, some people will call me “older” instead of “old.” Somehow, in defiance of the rules of English, “older” has become not so old as “old.”

Who ever thinks he’s going to wind up 65 years old?

I take comfort in the words of Casey Stengel, who said, “A lot of people my age are dead. You could look it up.” And in the words of Solon, who, when asked what made him so brave against the tyranny in Athens, said, “Old age.”

I have already been accused of being just too damn old to understand and appreciate the wonderfulness of the libs’ ‘n’ progs’ program for America. If only I were younger, I would celebrate sodomite pseudomarriage and easily see the need to give the government vast new powers to deal with threats like Global Warming and racism.

Heaven forbid.

I don’t feel like an old man. I can still play basketball as poorly as I ever played it. Freddy the Pig and Rick Brant still delight me. My wife and i can still amuse ourselves by making rude noises, especially when a certain politician’s face appears on our computer screen. And Last of the Summer Wine has taught me that you’re never too old for fun and mischief.

Still, it’s a major milestone, and I thought I ought to say something.

I would very much like to be still here to see secular liberalism crash and burn, discredited forever, its proponents heaped with shame and chased out of office forever.

This afternoon would be a good time for that.

12 comments on “On Turning 65

  1. Happy Birthday, Lee! And many happy returns! You rock, you really rock!

    Sent from my iPhone


  2. Well, well, happy birthday, congratulations on reaching this lofty plateau, and still being so sharp with mind and pen. Now, let me say, you are still a kid; you’ve seen nothing yet. I turned 81 on April 3, and I STILL don’t feel like an old woman. (even if somebody tells me I am) Just blow it off and whistle on down the road, knowing that you know so much more than “they” do.

  3. Happy Birthday. My old Mom always said she did not feel any older-just did the usual things a bit slower. But,at 87 years of age, her kids, including me, were telling her to slow down on the highway. somehow, her age never affected her lead foot. As a kid, she loved fast horses, and it was just natural. She only had one driving accident, and that was at about her age about 40, when she just for some reason, just slowly drove a one ton truck off the road into a dich and rolled it over.. Before that, she had quite a few horse drawn “runaways.” I was in on one of those as a kid. She was only 5″ 2″ , but at age about 14, she could drive a big four horse team pulling farm equipment.

    today, the libs just cannot wait to ban driving for anyone over age 75, like me. We are so dangerous, even though we usually manage to stay out of the path of the young wilding bunch. In our area, the women are getting to be the worst at selfish road habits.

    Dave Canada Best. Dave

    1. Thank you, Dave. Got news for you, though–if the libs had their way, they would be the only ones allowed to drive.

    1. Thank you, Laura. I don’t feel 65! By the time I figure out what it’s supposed to feel like, I won’t be 65 anymore.

  4. Happy Birthday!! If it makes you feel any better I’m half your age and don’t understand or appreciate the wonderfulness of the libs’ ‘n’ progs’ program for America either.

  5. Over thirty years ago at age 62 my husband and I began praying seriously for our country (at last!). My husband ascended the pearly steps to the pearly gate. (I’m still here!) I thought I would never see our prayers answered but, amazingly, a great many of them are being!!!!

    We do have an almighty, merciful, forgiving Creator God.
    There’s still hope and, who knows, I may still see the 180 degree turn-around- we need–God willing!

  6. Oh, me! I forgot! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! i just love the entry about Dave’s mother! I’ve never d”riven” a horse but my old horse-powered car and I do a little whirl-winging now and then. With friends like you have, who cares about old-aging. Lotsa candles to you today!

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