A Few Products That Didn’t Quite Make It

Image result for images of ant farm

I know it’s too early to be talking Christmas shopping. But there are always birthdays, anniversaries, and other occasions for buying presents for your loved ones.

Here are a few gift ideas that never really caught on.

The Fire Ant Farm. This was just like a regular ant farm, only with ferocious and painfully-stinging fire ants. It was supposed to make the owner look cool. They had to take it off the market because the ants kept getting out and raising hell.

A Special Beer Stein for Weight-Lifters had a 20-pound weight fixed to the bottom so that every time you took a swig of beer, you got your exercise. I’m not sure how this product came to fail. I think it was because sometimes bad things happened if you chanced to drop it.

Toothpaste Sandwich Cookies. If you were afraid that Oreos, for instance, would cause you to develop cavities, replacing the vanilla cream filling with a popular brand of toothpaste was supposed to allow you to enjoy your snack while at the same time passively brushing your teeth. Alas, the taste and the digestion became issues.

Sticky-Soled Shoes. The idea behind these was to let you pick up and remove dirt, dust, and pet hairs from your carpet without having to vacuum. Just walk around as usual, and at the end of the day, simply remove the detritus from the bottoms of your shoes. I am sorry to say they made these shoes way, way, way too sticky, with unfortunate results (including injury to the wearer when he tried to take a step but the shoe wouldn’t budge). Sort of like the classic practical joke of gluing someone’s flip-flops to the floor. Worse, some ill-advised customers attempted to use Sticky Shoes as a way to climb up walls, again resulting in injury.

So there you have it. These products aren’t on the market anymore, but there are probably others just as bad. Let the buyer beware.


8 comments on “A Few Products That Didn’t Quite Make It

  1. Geniuses – the inventors of all of these products! The fire ant farms particularly dismayed me. They’re very nasty little creatures that work as a vicious team. Once one climbs on you, he calls all his hill-mates to join in the attack. They wait till many are onboard before the first bite so that you’re helpless to remove them all before it’s too late! Horrid!

    1. Well, that’s a relief 🙂 Guess I’m immersed in too much serious news these days. The weight of the world takes on vivid meaning.

      Either way, fire ants are horrible little creatures! I’m sure The Lord had a purpose for them, but if you happen to stray near them – look out!

      Toothpaste sandwiches should’ve given the whole thing away since that’s really the most absurd. But given the Joe Collidges being turned out now, who knows . . .

      Thanks for the chuckle!

    2. Sorry–interrupted by a cat.
      I hope I didn’t distress you by making a joke about fire ants. The idea of a fire ant farm just struck me as awfully funny. I just saw a documentary on the nasty little beggars and I know it’s no laughing matter to discover them on your property. That’s what made the idea of a fire ant farm so silly. I mean, who in his right mind would want one of those?

    3. The best way to get rid of fire ants without useless pesticides is anthill warfare. Take a shovelful of ant laden dirt from two separate anthills, placing opposite shovels full on each. Since each anthill is the enemy of the other, they war, killing each other off.

  2. These made me chuckle out loud! My favorite was the sticky shoes. When I was a kid nothing would have stopped me from walking up the walls if I had shoes like that 😀

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