The New, All-Purpose, All-Gender Pronoun

Do we really want to be filling up our jails with persons whose only crime was to use the wrong pronoun, and so offend a Transgendered Person? [Editor’s Note: there is no such thing as a “transgendered person.” There are only persons who say they are transgendered persons.] Oh, sure, it’s a crime, all right. But why should honest armed robbers, carjackers, murderers, and thieves have to share their cells with these hate-crime merchants?

But one thing government can do is actually make it impossible to commit this particular hate-crime! Huh? you say. How? you cry. Simple!

Just plug in this sound every time you need to use a pronoun. It will serve for all possible pronouns. Everybody is able to make this sound, although I have no idea how to spell it. Maybe it can’t be spelled. So let this symbol, (&), represent this sound:

There we have it! What could be easier? “Poor Sandy! Did you hear what happened to (&)? Well, (&) was downstairs and (&) phone rang and when (&) ran up to get it, (&) fell…” As if by magic, all hate-crime pronouns disappear.

Indeed, the same general principle might be applied to ALL objectionable language! “(&) think (&) (&) (&)…”

And no one ever need be offended again.

4 comments on “The New, All-Purpose, All-Gender Pronoun

  1. Excellent idea! Now if there were only a way to put that sound to print. Then we could include it on all government forms lol

  2. Gee, I dunno. Everyone would have to be issued little umbrellas to hold in front of their faces. The pronoun “&” gets pretty juicy when used repeatedly.

    And then there would be all those complaints about discrimination if one person was referred to as a “&” of longer duration than another. Hey, when you want to be a victim, there are always new microaggressions to invent.

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