Busted! For Not Selling Booze to Child

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A store owner in Fungus, New Jersey, has been charged with a hate crime for refusing to sell liquor to a 12-year-old boy who self-identifies as an adult.

Rodney Gesundheit, proprietor of Rod’s Adult Beverages, was arrested by Fungus police after the child signed a complaint. The case has been referred to New Jersey’s Supreme Human Rights Thing, where Mr. Gesundheit is expected to be sentenced to 400 months of sensitivity training.

“Whatever you say you are, that’s what you are!” explained SHRT Commissioner Mordred Drivel. “Except if you self-identify as innocent, of course. We’ve learned the hard way not to get beat by that cop-out.”

Fungus Township Prosecutor Lucy Goosey said, “We had him coming and going. If he’d sold the liquor to a minor, we’d have prosecuted him for that!”

About leeduigon

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations. View all posts by leeduigon

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