In an announcement that has rocked that part of the scientific world that concerns itself with centaurs, Dr. Hobart Dogbed, Professor of Comparative Gender Studies at Jidrool University, has solved the mystery of centaur evolution.
“I laugh when I think of how long it took us to work this out,” he said, “but it’s obvious, isn’t it? Centaurs evolved from special apes!”
The thing that was special about these apes was that they were half ape and half horse. Dr. Dogbed calls them Ape-taurs.
Although no fossil remains of any Ape-taurs have been found, Dr. Dogbed defends his theory as “the only one possible. Only racists and Anti-Science fascist biggits would deny it. Since when do we have to show fossils of any of this stuff?”
The Ape-taurs, he said, lived in what is now the Bellyup Nature Preserve “somewhere in Africa” and lived in perfect harmony with all other species. “It was only when the top half started to evolve into a human that centaurs began to get a reputation as troublemakers,” he said. “But that’s what always happens when apes evolve into humans.”
Dr. Dogbed is also an associate professor of Superhero Studies somewhere in Africa.
And the rear end of the ape-taurs evolved into … what? (I leave it to everyone to fill in the blank. Multiple entries are permitted.) 🙂
As we like to say in the Settled Science community–shut up!!
How about a jackass.
Don’t you feel just a little sorry for this poor critter? Since apes use their arms as another set of legs, this poor thing, then, has six. I’m guessing that could get a bit confusing, resulting in tripping over itself.
Well, insects manage okay, so maybe this critter figured out a way to use all six limbs as well. But then again, how deprived it must have felt to have only four limbs left, and two of them wanting to act differently from the other two. This is very sad. But maybe Joe Collidge can give us some insight into the matter, since he’s part moth, at least in the antenners. 🙂
Lee has proved his humanity – he is a troublemaker to the PC crowd.
Thank you, I think.