I was hoping I’d never have to say this, but I can’t keep it a secret any longer.
My two cats are Anti-Science. Both of them. I think a squirrel outside, when they were sitting in an open window, tricked them into being Anti-Science, but I can’t prove it, even though I know that particular squirrel is a Racist and a Biggit and a Hater.
What am I to do? My veterinarian doesn’t offer Sensitivity Training For Cats.
How do I know they’re Anti-Science? I hear you ask. Yeah, well, okay, I don’t exactly hear you. You’re probably Anti-Science, too. Anyway, I know they’re Anti-Science because they didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton for president. Every living thing that didn’t vote for her is Anti-Science. And must be punished!
These cats pay absolutely no attention to The Scientific Search for the Transgender Gene, or Scientific Proof That It Rained on the Rocks and the Rocks Came Alive, or Teaching 13-Year-Old Kids to Abstain from Sex Will Make Them Pregganint, or Climbit Change It Is Caused by Religion And It Will Kill Us All Unless We Give the Government Lots of New Powers And All Our Money. You can’t get them up for any Science at all.
Where in the Constitution does it allow you to be Anti-Science?