Hear at Collidge we alyaws looking “to” raze munny and funds! And our Stodent Soviet we taked over and neckst Thing “yiu” know thay “change The” Mizz Amarica Padgient so thare isnt No “Beuty” in the Beuty Context any moar and so The Soviet we desiddid we “can” has a Mizz Fimbo Collidge Padgient!! And gess waht?? I wone!!!!!
Al i hadd to “do” was Say i Self Idennifyed as a Wimmin and than alll of us whoo was “in it” we hadd to make a Litle Tallk abote wye Socile Jutstus it is so goood and stand aruond In “our” Undies and i sayed Socile Jutstus it is So Good “becose” it is Just!!” and waive my Moth Antenners aroned and this hear Otther Wimmin she sayed “Anny Boddy waht dont like” Socile Jutstus thay is Enemay of the Peple and thay shuld “get Beet Up reel bad” and i whas affrayed she was gointo Whin but gess waaht??? Wee al wone!!
Yes we al wone “And” we al getted trofeys!! and The Padgient it razed lots of dolars tooo, we razed enuhgh to by Plasstick Hand Cuphs and aslo “a” peece of Rubbre Hoze for the Micro Agrecian Rabid Responts Teem!!! Neckts Time somboddy thay says Somthing Racist or Sexist or Hatfull thay “whil” get it but Good!!
Now that I amb Mizz Fimbo Collidge i amb whel on “my whey” to being “A” reel wimmin so i gess al Them Moth Hoarmoans thay are helping “After” alll!!!
Congrats, Joe! I tell people what a winner you are every time I talk about you.
Let me use this as an opportunity to announce my new Flight School. If you want flying lessons without fear of being shamed, look no further. EVERY student is a winner and. EVERY student gets to take their first solo flight at 6 hours, no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you are still having trouble with controlling the plane because we KNOW the price of shame and will not “skill shame” you. So siree, sir. When you get 6 hours under your belt we cut the shirttails and send you off into the wild blue yonder all alone, because EVERYONE is a superstar at my flight school.
Imagine the bragging rights when you tell all your friends that you learned to fly an airplane by yourself in only 6 hours!!!!!
(All students must have contact info for next of kin on file before soloing. You will have to place a cash deposit equal to the value of the rental plane in our accounts and sign some waivers of liability before soloing. Students must also agree to wait until the instructor is a safe distance from the airport before starting solo flight.)
Let me take this opportunity to decline your more than generous offer 🙂
It would help if you didn’t use that loony lingo–the stories have enough punch of their own. SS
I think I’m stuck with it by now. Anyhow, a lot of readers seem to enjoy it.