So here it is in the early 70s, I’m all alone in the house tonight, ’cause I’m gonna stay in and real The Exorcist. It’s supposed to be one of the scariest horror novels ever written, and I want to savor the full effect of it.
I go down to our finished basement to read. Nobody here but me and my iguana, and the latter is asleep in his cage after gobbling up the nice salad that my mother made him for his supper.
I settle down in my favorite chair, right under the floor lamp, with my back just a few inches from the lizard cage. I start reading. I keep reading–because, say hey, this book really is scary! It’s sucking me into it: I couldn’t stop reading if I wanted to.
At that moment the great big iguana wakes from his nap and decides to jump off his perch onto the screen three inches from the back of my neck–yow! Through the ceiling! Out of the chair! Book goes flying! Iguana looks at me quizzically, wondering why I’m acting up. I’ve got to catch my breath. I am afraid a harsh word or two escapes my lips.
Well, that’s one of those things about pets, isn’t it? Full of surprises!
Wow…terrible but I laughed
Some lizards just don’t have any appreciation for literature. 🙂
I do draw the line at reading to an iguana.
Do t knock it till you’ve tried it. They are great listeners. 🙂
This was really funny. It reminded me – when I was a child, my parents had friends over and we were watching a horror movie, I think Dracula. During the ad break everyone rushed to the bathrooms, with the men opting to go do their stuff outside, in the darkness. I was just going back to the lounge, my hands cold from washing them in cold water, when my dad came back in at the front door, not seeing me behind him. On the spur of the moment I squeezed the back of his neck with the cold tips of my thumb and middle finger. He jumped and also let out a few rude words!! It was the joke of the evening and greatly helped ease the suspense of the movie.
How long did it take him to figure out how funny that was?
Actually quite quickly, happily. I think he was a bit embarrassed by his reaction – big strong Pappa, not supposed to be afraid of things – but he took it well and laughed it off. The atmosphere was way more lighthearted afterwards and the movie was easier to watch.
Scary books and movies are so much fun as long as they don’t happen to us in real life. I have seen people die on the screen beyond count, but when I saw a man die when his steering wheel jammed into his chest in a tragic car accident it was a different experience.
I like the scary books best that revolve around things that have never happened to anyone and can’t happen: you have to imagine it all.
The best, hands down–M.R. James’ ghost stories.
I haven’t read those, but Stephen King’s “The Tommyknockers” comes to mind as a story that is very scary and realistic but totally impossible. I read it almost 30 years ago, but still remember some details. It scared my ex-husband quite out of his wits though (he is not like my father at all…). I see it is being developed into a movie.