My wife, who must have had a much more sophisticated childhood than mine, had to tell me what a “wet willy” is: I had never heard of it. “You wet your pinky and stick it in someone’s ear,” she explains.
I’m glad we’ve got that cleared up, because now I can understand this news story. A Florida man has been arrested and charged with battery for allegedly giving his girlfriend a wet willy.
I don’t know how seriously they take that, down in Florida, but–
URGENT BREAKING NEWS!!
House Democrats have vowed to “put an end to the wet willy” by enacting strict wet willy laws. Leading Democrats have also threatened “to unleash David Hogg on anyone who even thinks about trying to defend this disgusting habit.” And a prominent feminist, Professor Belinda Crank, has condemned the wet willy as “the creation of the archiarchy.” Hillary Clinton has excoriated President Donald Trump for “using the office of the president to foster a wet willy culture.”
Said New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, “Until we can build bigger prisons, we’ll have to parole ordinary felons, like armed robbers, murderers, and rapists, to make room for wet willy-doers, Climate Change deniers, and racist transphobe biggits who insist on using the wrong pronouns.”
It is a huge problem. These criminals must be stopped at any cost. The real answer is to lock up everyone, and then only release people that can prove that they’ll never give a Wet Willy. We will end up with a world full of people lacking pinkies. 🙂
will the madness ever end?
Sometimes I wonder if the readers of this blog wonder what is in the cigars Lee is smoking – what an imagination (I’m envious). On the news this morning was how New Jersey’s governor is for passing more strict regulations for those who braid hair. It seems 24 states already regulate it, but the N.J, Gov wants to take it a step further. That’s the Dems for you, wanting to control every aspect of human behavior – and then they call it freedom.
The story of the wet willy arrest is real. I didn’t make it up.