So What Is an ‘Adult’?

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How come it’s so easy for frogs, but not for people?

Some of our great colleges and looniversities are trying to find out what an “adult” is (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11710). Nobody seems to know. There appears to be a lot of tension. At what point, exactly, does one become an “adult”? And how do you get out of it?

Is it when you can drink adult beverages and watch adult movies?

“You know, that’s a pretty good answer!” says Dr. Emmet Landfill, department head of Nothing Studies at Wrongful Death University. “If they sell you the booze and let you in to see the movie, you’ve made it!”

But other academics, equally learned and wise, disagree.

“At no point in life does any human person ever become an adult!” asserts Professor Gertrude Windex, dean of fuzzy puppies at East Pakistan Teachers College. “For pete’s sake, why do you think we’ve invented the term, adulting? Adulting is a process, man! Like a Monopoly board with an infinite number of squares! And anyone who says otherwise should be expelled!”

So no one agrees. In fact, the only thing the the professors all agree upon is that everyone should go to college and stay there for as long as possible.

9 comments on “So What Is an ‘Adult’?

  1. Does having one’s brains adulterated at today’s colleges and universities count as “adulting”?

  2. I think that the concept of adulthood is becoming a bit vague in the minds of many, these days. It seems to have been replaced with people acting like adolescents until nearly old age. I wish I could say that I find this surprising, but I don’t. Our culture is in bad shape.

  3. You don’t know what an adult is until you become one. No wonder they’re confused. But that’s for the good. If they all agreed on what an adult is politicians would legislate it, courts would rule on it, academics would throw it into whatever cauldron they’re cooking up at the time, and, well, nothing would change. So it always comes back to those of us who know better to instruct those who don’t. But that didn’t work either because the “system” is in place, it’s their system, it justifies their existence, and it’s airtight (which is why their brains are starving for oxygen). So, personally, I just cross the street every chance I get.

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