It’s a tough problem. You want people to think you’re smart, but you’ve been to college and now you don’t know anything.
But help is on the way! The latest set of False Facts from Acme will help you live your dream. Just trot out a few of these and wow ’em with your knowledge. Say them confidently, authoritatively, and you’re home free.
Sneak preview: the new set includes the following goodies.
*In 1956 there were 1.6 million unemployed shepherds in the city of Toronto. Now there are only four.
*The Greek philosopher Aristotle actually lived in Trinidad. His name, in ancient Greek, means “kitchen utensil.”
*Dwight D. Eisenhower was only 14 years old when he planned the D-Day invasion.
*Switzerland has the highest per capita income in Asia.
*The planet Neptune was originally located in New Jersey, but it broke off in 446 B.C.
Those should be enough to get you started on your new career as a savant!
AOC saying those things doesn’t’ make them untrue!
Wow, I don’t know if I can handle all that brilliance. I think my brain is too small for all that.
You’ll never be a collidge prefesser with that attitude!
Here are some true facts: Today is Abraham Lincoln’s birthday, yesterday was Grandpa’s birthday, and tomorrow is Jeremy’s birthday.
Except when you’re in college, “facts” are by nature always true. Except in college.
I always knew Aristotle was overrated. 🙂
I loved the one about all those poor shepherds in Toronto!
Steve.
One is not required to say where they all went.
Well, maybe they all got employment and ceased to be *unemployed* shepherds. What’s that you say? No sheep in Toronto? Well, they were in Toronto for a rally or a job fair, and now they’ve all returned to the countryside where their new jobs are. Seriously, this could be a very good introduction to a genuine class on how to spot tricks in statistics. 🙂
Be patient with me, I might catch on somehow. (but I seriously doubt it)
Wow, goofy. . . 🙂
Ooh, Goofy!
Goofy indeed, my friend.
Who are you? 😱
Let me reveal myself. I am your Kindle self.
Oh, I see… To be honest you look kind of ugly.
😱💔⚡😡
🙈🙉🙊😶
Those pictures of Feb. 12 and 14 are worth at least eight thousand words. If we can have petrodollars, we can have emojiwords. Put them on a block chain.
LOL!! I love emoji! 😊
Ah! Goofy . . .
Who? Me?
. . .Wabberjocky . . . I mean yabberwocky . . .I mean jabberwocky . . .
LOL, you guys are too much. Like it, though.
😊
Sometimes being Goofy works out to a person’s good. There is a condition called Accident Savant Syndrome. One guy in Denver, CO hit his head on the bottom of a swimming pool, and has been able to play the piano beautifully for the last 12 years although he can’t read music and had never played piano before. My wife has suggested maybe she can hit me in the head with a broomstick and I can become a savant. 🙂
We just watched that video yesterday.
The same thing happened, a few years ago, to a man who was struck by lightning.
Beware the broomstick.
lol
Truer words were never spoken than all of those ones.