Busted! For Cultural Appropriation

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Some 150 people in Medicine Hat, Alberta–including 22 members of a high school orchestra–were arrested last night on charges of cultural appropriation, under a new “protocol” adopted by the Justin Trudeau regime.

“Beethoven was German,” explained Elliot Mess, captain of the city police Bias Response Team, “and that makes his music German. Those people we arrested, they weren’t Germans. None of them. That makes them guilty of cultural appropriation. The fact that it was only a high school band concert is immaterial.”

“I didn’t know it was against the new law for us to play Beethoven’s music!” said 16-year-old violinist Liu Chia-Hui. “I love Beethoven! We all love Beethoven! His music belongs to all the world!”

“Wait’ll he tries to sell that line in sensitivity training,” said Mess. “He’ll wish his father never met his mother.

“Cultural appropriation is a form of hate. If you are not German, listening to German music, or performing it, is an act of anti-German aggression. It’s taking something that does not belong to you. That little smart-aleck Liu should’ve stuck to playing Chinese music–and on Chinese musical instruments only!”

Music teacher and band conductor Deirdre O’Connor, also arrested, “is in for a really hard time,” Mess said. “We’re not going to go easy on the ringleader!”

“We won’t stop,” he added, “until all of Canada is 100 percent hate-free! And there’ll be no more cultural appropriation.”

17 comments on “Busted! For Cultural Appropriation

  1. WHAT? Why, this is the most asinine thing I have heard of yet. I thought I had heard it all, but no, it gets crazier every day, in fact every moment.
    This is total madness.

    1. Erlene, it’s a satire. It may be uncomfortably close to the truth–but then that’s what satire’s supposed to do.

  2. {Assuming this isn’t ). Regressive liberals punish “hate” with hate. Hate against the elite is okay, but hate against the masses is political control. A-backwards. Being criminalized for listening to German music if one is not German seems anti-global. While we learn the meaning of words from dictionaries, the leftards learn it from manifestos. The left is running around without their heads and don’t even notice!

    1. Have you noticed how every bunch of losers has a “manifesto”? Having one automatically brands you as a putz.

    2. ‘Meaning is a bag of stones, waiting for us to put it down. Waiting for us to put down the load of expectations, of aspirations, of better times ahead. The load of always subordinating the present moment to a hypothetical future one.

    3. You know satire when you see it. So, the good news is, I made it up. The bad news is, they are so close to doing this.

  3. Very humorous. I guess the cultural appropriation campaign is on the wane since transgenderism has become such a hit to the depraved.

    Here’s an observation. Whenever authorities find a grave containing human remains their report always declares whether it was a male or female, never one of the 56 genders the Left has invented.

    1. I don’t see any Cherished Minorities volunteering to give up white man stuff like air conditioning, refrigeration, and water purification.

  4. Until I reached the name Elliot Mess, I wasn’t sure whether this was real or satire. After all, we had a case here in the States where someone was accused of cultural appropriation for wearing large hoop earrings, supposedly an African thing forbidden to Caucasians. No one told this idiotic accuser, apparently, about the large hoop earrings worn by Mediterranean Europeans for a long, long time.

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