Send Your Cat to College–Free!

Image result for images of cat in cap and gown

The newest Democrat candidate for president wants the government to pay college tuition for cats or dogs or any other pets that people might want to send there for a higher education.

“Who said college was only for people?” demanded Agrippina Fullavit, a village councilwoman from Pyongyang, Illinois–one of the few illegal aliens to be elected to public office in America. “Why should only humans get degrees in Gender Studies or Superhero Studies?

“This is the richest country in the world, and it ought to be the best-educated, too! Not only our people, but our pets! Cat, dog, hamster, goldfish–end the inequality now!”

Ms. Fullavit has a pet eel, Chuck, who, she says, is earning a degree in Neo-Marxist Palmistry at Groin Community College. “The tuition is hard to bear,” she said, “so it’s only right that the federal government should bear the cost of a truly universal higher education. All we have to do is tax the rich!” Ms. Fullavit herself is working toward a degree in Tic-Tac-Toe, but her education is already being funded by a federal loan.

About leeduigon

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations. View all posts by leeduigon

10 responses to “Send Your Cat to College–Free!

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