We’re Doomed! (again)

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(“We are so ****ed…”)

I hope you’re sitting down for this.

According to research by the University of Alaska, “If the current rates of greenhouse gas emissions remain unchanged,” the vast isle of Greenland may be ice-free–

–By the year 3000! (https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-blogs/climatechange/greenland-ice-sheet-could-completely-melt-out-by-the-year-3000/70008659)

Alas, alack, and welladay! Game over, man! Why, that’s only… only [breaks out calculator; hands trembling, drops it, picks it up, drops it again]… Good grief! That’s only 1,900 years from now! Everything’ll wind up underwater but the Himalayas!

Well, like, s***, that settles it–all power and all money to a global government, and maybe, just maybe, they can save us! Otherwise when the year 3000 comes around and you find yourself standing around without a lifeboat as the water level rises to your eyeballs–and that’s with you standing on the roof!–don’t blame the government. We told you we had to have absolute power over everything and everybody! We told you we had to have all your money! But you wouldn’t listen! You wouldn’t listen to Science! And now you see what happens to people who won’t listen to Science.

Pack your water wings, folks! It’s gonna get mighty wet in just another 19 hundred years.

8 comments on “We’re Doomed! (again)

  1. I love the “if” in “If the current rate … remains unchanged.” Um, and what “if” it doesn’t? And furthermore, change from what to what (not all changes are for the worse) and what does a rate of greenhouse gas emissions have to do with ice volume anyway? So we have a non sequitur, a false cause fallacy, and two begged questions all packed into a single sentence. Bravo!

    If sentences like this continue at the current rate, there will be no benches left in Central Park by the year 2700. 😉

  2. Yep, that about sums it up, Phoebe. What could these doofusus be thinking? Are there really people who listen to them?

  3. The year 3000 AD, a year God already knows what it will be like because He knows the end from the beginning. God flooded the whole earth in Noah’s day, and He could do it in our lifetime as well as He raises the earth’s temperature to melt all the ice. But why would He do this when He promised Noah the world would never be flooded again? What we have parading around today is not science but paranoid politics. When you make people feel guilty you are creating fear – the Left is a pro at this (and they throw a little envy into the mix).

    1. I dreamed I dwelt in marbled halls/ with lots and lots of basketballs/ and when they all were put in play/ ’twas louder than Niagara Falls.

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