Play It Smart with False Facts

Did you know that the sound we call a “raspberry” was once a popular nickname in the ancient language of Arzawa? It translates as “Shorty.”

By popular demand we present a few samples of False Facts IV, published six months ahead of schedule because the world is going to end in 12 years unless we make government powerful enough to stop Climate Change–

And that’s just one of the False Facts you’ll get in this set! Here are a couple of the others.

In the Forest of Dean, in England, there are more gorillas per square mile than in the entire Congo rain forest.

There are still cavemen living in Sayreville, NJ.

President James K. Polk originally spelled his name “Poke” but changed it after he was mistaken for the James K. Poke who taught belly-dancing in Oofty Township, Tennessee.

Extraterrestrial pottery has been found in China.

Want people to think you’re smart? Shoulders back, look ’em in the eye, and recite a False Fact in a tone of unshakeable conviction–’cause now you know things that nobody else knows! Be the center of any family gathering!

False Facts IV–now on sale for only $679.99 at Foolburg’s Farmacies.

14 comments on “Play It Smart with False Facts

  1. Pete Buttigieg has a PhD in Theology.
    Columbus was actually from Scotland.
    Cats once went extinct but curiosity brought them back.
    Lee Harvey Oswald was really at a movie theater at the time of JFK’s assassination and was falsely arrested.
    Category 5 hurricanes come every 10 years without fail.

  2. Ming Dynasty ( ? ~ AD 678) was an infamous Mongol warlord who was active five centuries before the Mongol Empire. He, while in his teenage years, was once the chief cook of his grandmother’s stepsister’s nephew’s feudal lord’s grandmother. In AD 665, he and his son, Yackety-yak, infiltrated the fortress of his archrival Lord Dyren-Tiren (AD 613 ~ AD 695) and stole a certain ancient artifact with the shape of an elephant with a whitish color thought to have belonged to Pharoah Sammy (? ~ ?) while Lord Dyren-Tiren was sleeping in his room. While his son escaped, Ming singlehandedly knocked down five dozen of Dyren-Tiren’s men. Angered by this attack and having had his valuable elephant relic stolen right under his nose, he ordered a full-scale war that lasted 13 years. Ultimately, Ming Dynasty won the victory, and forced Lord Dyren-Tiren to give up his lands and exiled him to Iceland, never to return. Dynasty’s reign lasted for a mere six months, until he was killed by kittens in AD 678.

    The word “dynamite” is thought to have been derived from his name.

    1. Also the word “nasty” was allegedly derived from his name, although that fact is being disputed to this day.

      His last words to his son were as follows: “The nastier the dynasty, the tastier the dinner.” No one knows for sure what that supposed to mean…

  3. Oops! Correction time: the white elephant originally belonged to the ancient Egyptian king Pharaoh Sammy, not “Pharoah” Sammy…

    According to the 2041 World Almanac, Oakland Athletics pitcher A. J. Puk will become the 48th President of the United States.

  4. 😂 I really like this set of amazing facts!! I especially enjoyed the ones about James K. Poke and the gorillas of England!! President Poke sure had a subarashii hairstyle!!

Leave a Reply