Still More Great False Facts

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(No, that’s not me!)

If you’re stuck for a gift for yourself, once again it’s Acme False Facts to the rescue!

If you want people to think you’re really smart, because you know a lot of things that they don’t know, or never even imagined, just stand up straight, shoulders back, chest out, look ’em in the eye, and trot out one of these certified genuine False Facts.

Here are a couple of tantalizing examples from False Facts 5.0:

*Elizabeth Warren’s proposed 70% tax rate will still leave you with 85% of your money, according to scientific economists at Fimbo State University.

*Frog DNA added to your toothpaste, when consumed in sufficient quantity, will cause your gender to change spontaneously.

*The ancient Egyptians had cell phones. You could look it up.

*The first functioning time machine was built in 1625 by an Irish bishop, who used it to journey into the future. He has not yet returned.

*There is no such place as Hungary.

Remember, it’s not what you say, but how authoritatively you say it! Every politician, climate scientist, and used car salesman knows that.

About leeduigon

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations. View all posts by leeduigon

2 responses to “Still More Great False Facts

  • marlene

    LOL – priceless. Presentation is more effective than substance these days as their supporters, especially college students, don’t even know what substance is – unless they’re told by a “politician, climate scientist, or used car salesman.” They’ve been inured to believe that authority is more important than thinking for themselves. Once they stop thinking for themselves, they’ll believe anything. We could tell them the truth, but we don’t want to hurt their feelings.

  • weavingword

    So true! It would be funny if not so sad…and scary for the future of our country! May Jesus come before they totally ruin it.

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