We were bound to get to this point sooner or later: crackbrained authority figures insisting we “affirm” whatever “identity” someone chooses to adopt–even if it’s a mythological creature that has never existed.
School officials at Hangem High School in Yuggoth, Michigan, now recognize “any and all identities” claimed by students and staff, and compel the entire school population to recognize them, too (http//:www.liketotallyfullofit.com). The school is redesigning the cafeteria to accommodate three students who insist they are centaurs.
Thanks to the revolutionary new policy, Hangem High’s student body and teaching staff now include three centaurs, seven vampires, Prince Charles, two mutually hostile Barack Obamas, a Dilophosaurus, Nancy Pelosi, the Lone Ranger, and Chuck Schumer’s Love Child–just to name a few.
“This has worked out very well indeed!” says Principal Albert “Clarabelle” Fanoogi, who now wears a clown costume when he patrols the school’s hallways, from time to time squirting students with a seltzer dispenser.
P.S.–April Fool!
Very funny. Same to you. Really, this was hysterical. Whar’s Howdy have to say about it? The Lone Ranger – really? Is that like “which one is not like the others?” Or should I just stop picking it apart and continue laughing…
“Hangem High” — I love it! And the list of chosen identities is hilarious.
I wonder if I should’ve posted the theme music from that old Clint Eastwood movie, “Hang ‘Em High.”
You know, Lee, I wouldn’t have been amused if this was actually a reality. I’d be sick to my stomach over it. Great April Foolery! As long as life does not wind up imitatng it.
Reality (if you want to call it that) has a way of catching up to and passing satire, these days.
Good one Lee.
It wouldn’t surprise me if it were real. 🙂
Isn’t that a sad commentary on our times (as Caligula once said)?
Nothing surprises me anymore.
Whew April Fools!
Aprils Fools has come a long way since it was begun in 1700. I think this post hit the apex.
Waiting for Shiva or Rama to be recognized!