Quokka U. TV Listings

Meet the Quokka

As promised, boys ‘n’ girls, here are more TV listings. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that Quokka University has its own TV network–but I’ll let Byron the Quokka explain.

[Enter, laughing] G’day! Don’t ask me how we got all those TV shows–I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. Just enjoy the listings–and if anyone asks, I haven’t been here today.

1 p.m.

02. Movie, “Dadburn!” (1952) A middle-aged seamstress (Linda Hunt) comes to terms with herself and becomes a professional assassin. Scotty: James Doohan. Number One: Barbara Billingsly.

03. Literary Mischief. E.M. Forster takes Virginia Woolf to the drive-in movie, unaware that J.D. Salinger has hidden a body in the back seat. Forster: Godfrey Cambridge. Woolf: Loretta Young.

07. What’s My Delusion? (Game Show) Host: Angela Merkel. The wildest delusion gets the wildest prize.

1:30 p.m.

04. Mid-Day News with Harpo Marx.

07. Sports. “Fishing with the Sadducees.”

09. The Gallumphing Gourmet (Cooking). Making hamburgers with ingredients that don’t exist. Guest: Clairvoyant Claire and the voice of Emperor Tiberius.

[Hey! Where did Byron go? Something tells me his heart isn’t in this.]

5 comments on “Quokka U. TV Listings

Leave a Reply