G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with a sample of this weekend’s spectacular TV broadcasts brought to you by the crew at Quokka University–just in time for Lee’s porch party! Without further ado:
2:30 P.M. Ch 09 GENGHIS MY FOOT!–Drama
Brought back to life by a mad scientist (former California Gov. Jerry Brown), Genghis Khan (Mickey Rooney) is elected mayor of Hangem High, CT, and immediately sets out to conquer all of North America–after he recruits a Mongol horde. Mrs. McFlop: Eve Arden. Ghost: Fernando Lamas
Ch 12 GROW IT & SHOW IT–Gardening
Guest Luther Furbag has bred brown flowers “that look like they’re already dead.” Host: Nature Boy Buddy Rodgers. With Carl Sagan and his orchestra.
2:47 P.M. Ch 21 PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE–Politics
Top candidates for the presidency of the Bilgewater Fishing Club, Francis X. Fimbo and Don Diego Shaughnessy, square off on foreign policy, Climate Change, economic recovery, and blind dates. Featuring the June Taylor Dancers.
3:00 P.M. Ch 03 THE ARACHNIDS–Sitcom/Suspense
Can a family of gigantic spiders live the good life in a human suburb? Only if they can learn to fit in! Episode 1: The Arachnids get off on the wrong foot with their neighbors when Muffy (Chelsea Clinton) eats Mr. Prigg’s dog. Directed by Jack Webb (who else?). Mr. Prigg: Edward Platt. Daddy Spider: James Arness. Grandma Spider: A real spider blown up to colossal size.
Ch. 15 PC POLICE SQUAD–Grime Drama
Hair-raising tales of misgendering, microaggression, and cultural appropriation, with only Lt. Kaydence Jugular (Jane Fonda) and her Bias Response Team standing between the human race and offensive language. Filmed inside a cement mixer! Sock puppets by Ralph Lauren and Carl LaFong.
There you have it! What’s a porch party without great stuff on TV?