Greetings and g’day, earthlings! Byron the Quokka here, with this weekend’s fabulous TV shows brought to you by Quokka University. Here’s just a wee sample of what we’ve rounded up for you!
7:30 P.M. Ch. 08 SAPS!–Reality TV
Sometimes TV is so predictable! The TV detective always catches the bad guy, the TV doctor always saves the patient… But here’s the one show dedicated to those poor saps who never get it right! Tonight: Architect Barney Bock, whose entire subdivision fell into a sink-hole; and folk singer Nancy Hastur, now being sued for damages incurred when 1,000 panicked fans tried to flee her concert all at once. Host: Edsel Ford.
Ch. 19 Very Angry Hopping Mad News–News & commentary
Anchorman Mike Lava flies off the handle–he’s been known to bite studio staff–every time they air a news story… which is kind of unavoidable, this being a news program. Weatherwoman Jane Boombox screeches in a berserk rage at every symbol on her weather map. Really, no one here has the slightest notion of how to behave.
8 P.M. Ch. 42 MY FRIEND FOOGIE–Horror/Sitcom
They think Little Eddie (Pat Buttram) has an imaginary friend, but Foogie the Invisible Vampire (Herbert S. Zim) is all too real! Tonight: Foogie preys on the June Taylor Dancers and polishes off three of them before Eddie puts his foot down. Community Organizer: Sen. Elizabeth Warren. Good news: Foogie gets her, too.
Ch. 57 MOVIE–Western with philosophical overtones
If you ever thought Gene Autry couldn’t match Plato dialogue for dialogue, think again! In Buckaroo Behemoth (Sicilian, 1966, with West German music score; 344 minutes), cowboys wander the Great Plains, pausing only to discuss deep intricacies of philosophy. Slim: Sir John Gielgud. Tex: Soupy Sales. Ma Fanabla: Marjorie Main.
Well, that ought to be enough to get you started on a weekend bacchanal of TV-watching!
Hurry, or there’ll be no popcorn left! Byron the Quokka, signing off.
Actually, Sir John Gielgud was such a good actor that he could read you the Manhattan phone book (remember when there were phone books?) and make you laugh or cry as he pleased. So he might actually be able to rattle off obscure metaphysics — or nonsense syllables, but I repeat myself — in a way to make you think you’ve understood every word and become enlightened in the process.
Gene Autry had a devil of a time with his role in this movie. They wouldn’t let him sing.
Very Angry Hopping Mad News–News & commentary might be my choice but it is too much like the local news shows I now watch. MY FRIEND FOOGIE–Horror/Sitcom is more my cup of tea, philosophically speaking. I am breathless to find out what Soupy Sales thinks about Plato’s Republic.
Great lineup, looking forward to watching all of it, every single minute of it.
Yes, I might watch a single minute myself. 🤣🤣🤣
(Just joking, Byron. Keep up the good work!)