Coming Soon–Crappy Movies

The last time I went to a movie theater my ticket cost $11, and that was with the senior citizen discount plus the mid-day matinee discount. I thought about that this morning as the talking heads on the radio chattered about the “hot blockbuster” (is there such a thing as a lukewarm  blockbuster?) movies headed our way.

Can you imagine paying $15 to see any of these?

The Great Gatsby, with a rap “music” soundtrack. The very thought of it makes me wake up screaming.

Iron Man III. Based on a comic book. I grew out of comic books 50 years ago.

–Some goofy business with Robert DeNiro and Diane Keaton pretending to be a happily married couple at their son’s wedding, ’cause he somehow doesn’t know they’re divorced and they hate each other, and I think I’ll go out and watch paint dry now.

–A new Superman movie. Based on the comic book. Without Christopher Reeve.

Hangover III. What’s the limit on sequels? Can you imagine Casablanca III: Play It Again and Again and Again, Sam?

Wolverine something-or-other, based on a comic book. What would Hollywood do if they weren’t allowed to make movies about comic book characters?

I love movies. That’s why I hate these.


4 comments on “Coming Soon–Crappy Movies

  1. Again, plenty to chuckle at in this one. You are far more amusing than any of these dippy “attractions” you mention. Actually, I am not big on movies. My husband is, so we have watched a ton of them over the years. We often go back to movies of the 1930-1940, a few 1950 era offerings, just out of despair in anything good in the new ones. That was a much more educated, refined and sensible era and a good reminder of how life could be, or could have remained.
    These that you mention are enough to bring on nausea.

  2. That is why I’ll stick with the old silent screen classics and a few of the talkies…LOL.

    1. Silents? What a pleasure to meet someone even more reactionary than I am! I never developed a taste for silent movies. A friend sent me a silent version of “Tarzan.” I was surprised by how advanced its technique of filming was–but it had a music soundtrack that was just awful. I’d still rather watch it than Battle of the Moron Superheroes IV, though.

  3. Huh . . . I kind of liked Iron Man III, but it was pretty stupid, at least on some level. I’ve always preferred the other Avengers to Tony Stark . . . at least they don’t go around sleeping with every pretty girl in sight. That’s the biggest thing that annoys me about Iron Man, actually. So, it is a bit dumb, but if you’re the kind of person who likes that kind of thing, you should definitely see it.

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