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I just don’t seem to have it today. WordPress tells me I’ve posted for 2,572 days in a row, my wife insists I rest, I’ve done no work on The Witch Box today, and my brain wants me to put it into a pail of cool water and leave it alone for a while.

So I guess I’d better take the rest of the afternoon off. Maybe I overdid it yesterday.

If you’re new here, or even if you’re not, I invite you to browse the blog archives to your hearts’ content. They’re probably full of cool stuff I’ve forgotten all about. Go for videos of boat launch fails: I always find those refreshing.

I hope to return this evening with a critter video.

Should I Do Nooze Today?

Study suggests T. rex's legs were made for walkin' – not running

A new study “strongly suggests” that Tyrannosaurus rex used its legs for walking. Well, that knocks the old ballroom dancing theory into a cocked hat. The jumping-jacks theory still has a few die-hards hanging on.

I happened upon a nooze story a few minutes ago and got a blood pressure surge, nor could I restrain certain vigorous exclamations. My wife said, “I thought we weren’t going to do this on the weekend.” Get all worked up over the nooze, she means.

Well, fair enough.

Attention, readers! What would you like to see on this blog on the weekends? I’d like to see more dinosaurs, but that’s only me. What would you like? Don’t ask me to be clairvoyant–tell me! As Popeye once said, “We aims t’please!”

Coming up by and by: Byron’s TV listings.

What Do We Have to Do to Grab You?

Australia, curious Quokka with bicycle on Rottnest Island Stock Photo -  Alamy

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, sizing up a bicycle. This one would need some modifications before I could use it, but for a human it’d be just right!

I am trying to pump up the view numbers for this blog; but you know Lee, he’s too cheap to give out bicycles.

Well, I’m convinced we have to offer much fancier prizes in all our contests. Like this, for instance:

Pharoah's Chariots

Yes! A genuine ancient Egyptian war chariot, built out of genuine spare parts, ideal for making your neighbors physically sick with envy! Or for starting a war.

Don’t mind the illustration, I already know it’s hokey. Crikey–how are you supposed to drive the chariot and shoot arrows at the same time? Even on Rottnest Island we know an ancient Egyptian war chariot had two blokes in it, one to fight and one to drive.

The chariot we want to offer as a comment contest prize has room enough for two quokkas. And did I mention it comes with the horses? That’s right, we provide the horses, too. None of this “horses not included” scam!

I don’t know where so many readers have scurried off to, these last few days, but I do know this: You can’t outrun a chariot!

Don’t Forget the Hymn Contest

Why Were Angels Singing to Me?

I’m sorry to report no hymn requests today so far, no entries into our ongoing hymn contest. Well, these things always slow up after the initial excitement.

A few of you wind up requesting the most hymns–by far the most. I was hoping more of you would join the party! That’s not to discourage readers who make a lot of hymn requests: it’s to encourage you who never make any.

And now we’ve got another thunderstorm looming, and if I want a cigar I’d better go out and have it now.

It’s perfectly okay to make hymn requests while I’m not here!

Important P.S.! I want to showcase posts from other Christian blogs–because, in this climate of growing censorship, I think we must support each other. If you’re a Christian blogger who’d like to see your work displayed here from time to time, please just let me know! There’s no charge for it.

A Personal Note (Ooch! Ouch!)

438 Falling Down Stairs Photos - Free & Royalty-Free Stock Photos from  Dreamstime

Thank heaven for hymn requests and Norbert videos! Because of these, I can keep this blog going even when I’m not quite up to snuff.

My allergies are killing me and I ache all over–in fact, I feel like I just fell down the stairs. I had to go to the supermarket anyway, where I learned from the checkout clerk, and from the woman behind me in line, that there’s a lot of this going around, bad allergies all over–which to me means it’ll pass. “Would you believe I slept for 12 straight hours yesterday?” the clerk said. “Save some of the next batch of sleep for me,” I answered.

So I’m not up to working on my new book, I can’t bring myself to scan the nooze, and I look forward to feeling better tomorrow. I’m changing the title of the book, by the way–the new book is now The Witch Box.

(Oh, fap! I’ve got to write a Newswithviews column tomorrow. If I can! I’d appreciate some prayers on my behalf.)

P.S.–Don’t forget we’ve got a hymn contest going. The more, the merrier.

Coming Up… Hymn Contest

What Is a Quokka? 15 Facts About the "Happiest" Creature on Earth

Lee says if we get ten more yes votes, we’ll hold the hymn contest. There are quokkas standing by to help!

It’ll be along the same lines as our annual Christmas carol contest. Whoever requests the hymn that gets the most views on the day it was requested will win the contest.

I am trying to arrange for the prize to be a bicycle. Maybe we can sneak it past him this time.

Let us hear from you! Vote for the hymn contest. Even better–participate in it. Can’t possibly go wrong by posting hymns!

I’m Already Tired

Nature Landscapes: Desert Footprints - Stock Picture I3660179 at FeaturePics

Help!

I’ve got a book to write, which means going out there where it’s as hot as Hades. I also have to write blog posts, a Newswithviews column, and a book review…

Why don’t you write indoors, stupid?

Because I can’t write fiction indoors, that’s why. I have to be in the real world if I want to write fantasy. (Oy, now they’ve got me doing it!)

Will I get more blog views if I say Joe Biden is a great man who won the election fair and square? Will that move me up in the search engine rankings… or just get me struck by lightning? Or totally destroy my self-respect for the rest of my life?

Well, it ain’t gonna get any cooler while I sit here dawdling over the manuscript. Onward!

Weird Stuff Happening with This Blog

Pin on Oh my

Ever get the feeling everyone in town just snuck away and left you?

We’re closing in on another month featuring a loss of some 2,000 views compared to the same month last year. WordPress insists there’s nothing wrong. Honk if you believe that.

Some of you have found it practically impossible to get your comments published. I believe you, but I can’t explain it. Some of those comments that frustrated you actually wound up being published–don’t ask me how.

Although I have readers in every time zone on the planet, for some unknown reason, every night around 7 or 8 p.m. EST, viewer traffic here stops just about dead. Why should that be?

This kind of thing has happened to so many Christian and conservative bloggers, we just have to believe Big Tech is doing it on purpose. They’re afraid to ban us all outright, so they employ algorithms to cut back our viewership; they make our posts harder to find on search engines. They get away with this because it’s what our unlawful phony Democrat regime wants them to do.

Well… if we could somehow average 400 views a day for the last five days of June, we’d catch up to one of last year’s months. Last November and December, we were hitting that target every day. Now… never.

Christian bloggers, ahoy! We have to stick together. We have to support each other.

I think the way to do that is for each of us to display posts by other Christian bloggers on our own blogs. If you have a Christian blog and would like me to display one of your posts now and then, please just let me know! There will be no charge for this. It’ll cost you nothing but a few minutes of your time.

Let’s at least try to defeat the censors!

Beverly, Where Are You?

933 Quokka Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Ahoy! Hallooo! Where are you?

Beverly won the comment contest two nights ago, but we haven’t heard from her. Yo, mate! How are we going to send you your prize, if we don’t know where you are? You can win an autographed book or a T-shirt, your choice. But if we don’t hear from you, what’s a quokka to do?

Confound it, this was a big comment contest! It deserved fireworks. 75,000 comments–not bad, not bad! But I’m up on stage with the Oscar, as it were, and the star has never come out so I can give it to her.

Oh, fap… Beverly, you’ve won! So let’s hear from you already.

Comment Contest Winner?

See the source image

Oh, fap. I seem to have won my own comment contest. It seems the comments stopped coming, oh, seven hours ago and we only got up to 74,999. And then Mr. Stupid forgot and added a comment himself.

I disqualify myself from winning the contest.

Forty minutes to midnight. Anybody out there, in one of those time zones where it’s, like, already tomorrow morning, or still this evening?

Come on–one more comment. You’ll win a prize.