Tag Archives: a message to my readers

At the Vet’s Tomorrow

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If I’m not around much tomorrow, it’s because I have to take Robbie to the vet to have blood work done. It’s only a 15-minute drive, but try it sometime with a cat yowling piteously about once per second.

Please pray she’ll be all right.

If you’re new to the blog, I hope you’ll take a few minutes to explore the archives. There’s bound to be something you’ll like in there, somewhere. Heaven knows how many cat videos I’ve stored up.

If you come here often, bring a friend tomorrow. I’ll try to post at least a hymn and a “retro” article before I start trying to catch Robbie to put her in the carrier.


I’ll Be at the Eye Doctor’s

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Like the man said who designed this chart, “Ah, felopzd!” That’s Hittite for, “Another morning in a doctor’s waiting room.”

Normal service, hopefully, will be resumed when I get back.

Meanwhile, as long as you’re here, please stick around and browse the blog archives. There are thousands of posts here, on hundreds of assorted subjects. You’re bound to find something you like.


Win Aladdin’s Lamp!

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You know I don’t like to make extravagant promises that I can’t possibly fulfill, so in all honesty, I must reveal that it’s not my comment contest that is offering Aladdin’s magical lamp as a prize.

But gee whiz, it’s the comment contest, I have to do something to make it exciting!

Well, whoever posts Comment No. 15,000 on this blog–and we’ve only got 21 to go!–will win an autographed copy of one of my books. Everyone on earth except for Keith Olbermann is eligible, and any comment is eligible except for the following: remarks that are abusive of anyone else on this site; comments containing profanity or blasphemy (which I’ll just delete anyway, so don’t waste your time sending any), commercials thinly disguised as comments (which is insulting), or comments simply too inane to bother with. Otherwise, anything goes.

Lots of readers have won these contests, so if you’re new to this blog, hop right in! Anyone can play and anyone can win.


Unbearable Excitement! Fabulous Wealth! (Comment Contest)

Where is everybody today? Dudes! Don’t you know there are less than 100 comments to go in our current comment contest?

According to a bona fide board-certified charlatan, Dr. Name Withheld, a member of the International College of Charlatans, whoever wins this comment contest, by posting Comment No. 15,000 on this blog, “will embark upon a course of rare good fortune that will very shortly lead to the acquisition of fabulous wealth, world-wide fame, and a really nice ham casserole.”

Just in case my charlatan is wrong, the backup plan is for the winner to win an autographed copy of one of my books.

The contest is open to everyone in the world, and all comments are eligible, except for the following: comments abusive to anyone else on this site, comments that contain the f-bomb, other profanity, or blasphemy–not that I’m going to publish anything like that. Also ruled out are commercials thinly disguised as comments, and comments simply too inane to bother with.

Hey, this morning’s viewership is way, way down! Please tell your friends and family members about this blog and urge them to visit it. Use threats if necessary.

For new readers: listen, lots of readers have won these contests so far. The next winner could be you!


I’m Here!

Normal service will be resumed this afternoon. I had to sit around the Social Security office all morning to get more paperwork done for Aunt Joan.

I will unwind with a cigar and then get to work.


Attention! Fellow WordPress Bloggers

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I wonder if any of you have had this problem. If so, I wonder if any of you can tell me what has happened, and what, if anything, can be done about it.

In January, February, and March I averaged over 500 Facebook referrals to this blog. In April it was down to just a little over 100, and for May it looks like it won’t even reach the 100 mark. This is a hefty chunk of my readership.

I have no idea what has caused this. Okay, The Chicago Tribune was complaining, weeks ago, that Facebook’s new anti-fake news (anti conservative) algorithm had cost the Trib 40% of its online readership; and other big media outlets had similar complaints. But if that were the cause, you’d think Facebook would’ve gotten rid of that algorithm by now.

You will pardon me for not knowing what an “algorithm” is. As near as I can figure out, it’s something in your computer that takes the place of thinking and decision-making.

So, hey out there! Can anybody give me a hint? Do you know of any way I can get my FB referrals back? Please advise!


Help Save Skimpy Thursday

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Because that’s the day my Newswithviews column comes out, and people who read that sometimes wind up visiting the blog, Thursday has long been the big day around here.

Well, this week, for the first time in six years, I forgot to write my column. Which means no one will be coming here from there.

So all I’ve got are you, the hard-core readers. I will write for you as I would write for two hundred.

But if you could send any new readers this way today, I sure would appreciate it!


Guess What I Forgot!

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For the first time in six years–six years, 312 weeks!–I have not written a Newswithviews column. So you won’t see one tomorrow, unless they fill the hole with a “best of.” Which I hope they do, because I rely on those columns to attract readers to this blog.

Normally I write these and send them in on Monday, to be published on Thursday.

This week I never even thought of it until a few minutes ago.

Blame it on the weather: went from freezing to sweltering just about overnight. Blame it on Social Security, which has suddenly discovered new ways of harassing us about Aunt Joan’s finances. Just as soon as I crawled out of the tar pit at the bank, I fell into yet another one. Blame it on the Bossa Nova.

And I just don’t have the gas today to whip up a column on such short notice.

Well, I hope they don’t kick me off the team for missing this one game. But if they do, it’ll be that much more time and energy available for books and blogging.


Win King Tut’s Gold Mask!

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Yes! Now this priceless artifact, the gold mask of Pharaoh Tutankhamen, can be yours! All you’ve got to do is be the first to post the 15,000th comment on this blog: and there are 700 left to go, so don’t say I haven’t given this contest enough time to get rolling.

Oh, who wants a picnic on an island with Bruce Jenner, when you could win Tut’s gold mask instead? Crikey, if you could be alone on a desert island with anyone on earth, would it be Bruce Jenner? If you have answered that question “yes,” please seek professional help immediately.

And I’m not talkin’ replicas here, boys and girls–this mask is the real McCoy. Once you cut it out and and attach the strings, just stroll onto any collidge campus and wow ’em silly! Er, sillier.


Those Odd-Looking Posts

Some of you have been wondering about odd-looking posts, mostly headline with no text, that have been appearing here lately.

There is nothing wrong with your computer. There’s nothing wrong with your connection to this blog.

I’ve put up those posts. What they are is connections to earlier posts, some of them from years ago, that generated a lot of interest at the time and which I think might still be interesting today. After all, a lot of you weren’t here yet, back when these were published. So I thought you might enjoy them. It’s sort of a “Best Of” feature.

To read the original post, all you have to do is click the link.

I will also take reader requests for earlier posts to be re-run: so if there’s something you’d like to see again, just let me know.

And don’t worry–this doesn’t mean I’m going out of business.


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