Tag Archives: a message to my readers

Just Me Yakking with You (Of Comment Contests and Lizards)

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See? Toldja. As soon as the comment contest is over, the comments dry up.

But remember, boys ‘n’ girls (here we only recognize the two sexes God has made, and no “genders” that idiots have made up), the next contest has already started! We are at 33,145 and shooting for 35,000–that’s just 2,855 to go.

Ah! But I hear you ask–well, I imagine that I hear you ask–“What’s he doin’ with that lizard?” Not much. It’s Sunday, and I would rather not write about any of the nooze today. And I like lizards.

That little guy up there is a European wall lizard, or lacerta. We used to have a pair of those. They were the first lizards we ever had that mated and laid eggs. Unfortunately, we were never aware of the eggs until it was too late to move them to a friendlier substrate, and they were all dried out. I would have loved to see the hatchlings: they would’ve been like living jewels.

The male escaped, somehow, and was gone for six months. Then he turned up again, fat and sassy, like nothing had happened. I put him back with his mate. She used to treat me to a threat display before accepting food from my fingers. They pretty much thrived on Mighty Dog, but live insects were always welcome.

See? No news! Piece of cake.

Oops! Comment Contest Adjustment

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Well, it turns out Elijah already had all the Bell Mountain books and only wanted to win the contest, so he says thanks, but give the prize to the runner-up. That would be Joshua, who only missed winning by the tiniest of margins.

So, Joshua, let me know which book you want (try not to make it Bell Mountain, I’ve run out of those and have to get more) and provide me with your mailing address.

P.S. to everybody else who would have liked to win: The next comment contest starts… now! Yup, it’s already started. Be the one to post No. 35,000, and win an autographed book. Yes, I know, that’s 2,000 more comments. It only means I’m giving you all plenty of time to get into the game. But don’t everybody just sit around waiting for it to get to 34,500, or it’ll take, like, forever.

Comment Contest: 14 to Go

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I fully expected there to be a winner waiting for me when I came down this morning. Imagine my surprise when I discovered there are still 14 comments to go! So, like, there’s gotta be a winner sometime this morning.

I hope the winning comment, No. 33,000, turns out to be witty, pithy, a la Julius Caesar (“Veni, vidi, vinci”).

The prize is one of my books, autographed. It turns out I’m not allowed to award anyone a do-over of his or her teen years.

So where is everybody this morning? Saddle up, guys!

Comment Contest: A Winner Today?

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Even the newly-hatched day geckos are excited by the prospect of someone winning our comment contest today! You should hear ’em.

Anyway, we’re shooting for 33,000 comments and we’ve got, at the moment, 32,931–which leaves only 69 comments to go. Whoever posts Comment No. 33,000 will win an autographed copy of one of my books. (Sorry, the treasure deal fell through. Beowulf chickened out of taking on the dragon. “Not as young as I used to be!” was his excuse.)

Now, I can’t help noticing that a few of you are trying very hard to win the contest. It’s always a sad thing to watch the comment stream slow down to a mere trickle, once the contest is over. I wish you could all win, but my postal budget won’t stand it.

But what I can do is start another contest right away, setting the goal at 35,000. The folks at Chalcedon are working very hard to get The Temptation published, and once we get the cover art from Kirk DouPonce, it shouldn’t be long before the book is released–maybe in time to be the prize in the next contest.

Comment Contest Down to the Wire

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Who will win the comment contest? As of this moment, we have 32,890 comments in the pot–only 110 to go, to reach the goal of 33,000.

What’s the prize? Well, nobody wanted to go back to 1951 and hit Bobby Thomson’s home run, so now I’m thinking, “Treasure!” There’s this guy named Beowulf who says he knows the location of a fabulously wealthy hoard of gold and jewels. So we’ll try to make that the prize–if we can figure out what to do about the dragon who is guarding it.

If this treasure deal falls through, the prize will be an autographed copy of one of my books.

Climax of the Comment Contest

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As of this writing, we have 32,798 comments in the pot, which means we only need just 202 more for 33,000–and a comment contest winner.

And hey, this prize is gonna be somethin’ else! How would you like it if we sent you back in time, to 1951, and had you hit Bobby Thomson’s famous pennant-winning homer instead of Bobby Thomson? You hit “the shot heard ’round the world”! Well, if you’re the lucky reader to post Comment No. 33,000. all this can be yours!

Unless I can’t quite swing it. Then the prize will be an autographed copy of one of my books.

All readers can play, and all comments are eligible, with only the following exceptions: comments abusive to anyone else on this site; comments containing blasphemy or profanity; commercials thinly disguised as comments; or comments just too inane or fat-headed to bother with. Other than that, anything goes.

Comment Contest: Update

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Before giant prehistoric amphibians like Eryops can make a comeback and gum up the ecosystem, I hope to conclude the current comment contest. The total now stands at 32,654. Whoever posts No. 33,000 wins an autographed copy of one of my books.

Unless you’d rather have an Eryops. But I warn you, they’re kind of expensive to feed.

I’ve Hit a Blogging Milestone

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WordPress has just notified me–and given me a virtual trophy for it–that I’ve posted on this blog for 1,525 days in a row.

Good lord. No wonder I’m tired.

If I could just somehow turn that into book sales–!

PS–I was wondering why nobody has said anything, and then I see “Comments are off.” Grrr! Fanabla! Fap! Well, they’re on now.

Joe Collidge’s Future in Doubt

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Usually on Fridays this blog gets a visit from Joe Collidge, and we get an update on educational failure and intellectual mischief. But now Joe’s future is a bit iffy. I mean the future of those “Joe Collidge” posts. We know his actual future is somewhat worse off than just iffy.

At least one reader wants Joe to go away. At least one wants him to stay. What about the rest of you? Should he be voted off the island?

The picture above is not Joe himself, but one of his Gender Studies professors. Joe puts a waste basket over his head whenever anyone tries to take his picture. The fact that he has grown a pair of moth antennae seems to embarrass him.

Comment Contest Update

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There seems to be a lot of interest today in the comment contest, so here’s where we stand.

On our way to the goal of 33,000 comments, we now have 32,405–so that’s just under 600 to go, and then we’ll have a winner.

The prize, as always, will be an autographed copy of one of my books, unless I see a need for something flashier. World-famous art objects, like King Tut’s golden mask or the Mona Lisa, are always popular. But they’re hard to get.

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