I Think I Be Becalmed

Treasure Island (1934) -- (Movie Clip) Billy Bones - Turner Classic Movies

“I’m becalmed, Jim! I need a noggin o’ rum!”

I think I know how Cap’n Billy felt. Progress on my current book, Ozias, Prince Enthroned, is so slow as to approach the undetectable. I seem to have no clear idea of what I’m doing. It’s been a very long time since I had that much trouble with a book.

As for the blog: well, I used to average 400 views a day, not so long ago. Now I’m lucky if I get 200. I don’t know what to do about it. Other Christian bloggers have told me they’ve run into the same thing. I think Big Tech’s algorithms are suppressing Christian and conservative voices on the Internet.

Old Billy Bones always thought another noggin of run would set him right… which it always did, until it killed him.

Let’s see if Byron the Quokka can perk us up this morning.

Win Your Own Sea Serpent!

I’m trying to breathe a little life into this blog. It isn’t easy. But we’re only 3,000 comments away from 100,000, and something ought to mark the occasion.

How’s about we make the prize your very own oarfish? These enormous fish are frequently mistaken for sea serpents; but you can get a little one that’s only twelve feet long or so. They can grow up to 30 feet, so be prepared to enlarge your aquarium.

Shipping costs, don’t ask–like, do you want an oarfish or don’t you? This is for 100,000 comments. Do you think this happens every day?

Any better ideas out there? I’m listening.

A Contest to Beat All Contests

Jousting knights hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy

How to rev up interest in this blog? How to inject excitement? Gee, I wish I knew!

We’re less than 3,000 away from having had 100,000 comments. I really feel I ought to do something special to mark that milestone. At the same time, my viewership is only half of what it was two years ago. What to do, what to do…?

Jazz up the prizes, maybe? Books and T-shirts–maybe that’s boring. Not to be compared to a lamp with a genie in it. Or your own little country to boss around.

I suppose I could have another contest to see who can offer the best idea for the next contest. [He just manages to duck a rotten grapefruit.] (I’m guessing that means “No!”) A foreign policy contest?

As you can see, I just don’t know! Stuck, stymied, brought to an impasse–and therefor open to suggestions. Feel free to make as many as you please.

Hurry Up! It’s Gonna Rain

27,700+ Building Pyramids Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images -  iStock | Building pyramids egypt

Not quite so time-consuming as the construction of the Great Pyramid! And cheaper, too.

My work on Ozias, Prince Enthroned, is going very, very slowly. Not that there’s really any rush to complete it–but I like to feel I’m making progress.

Yesterday a prophet came to Obann City, dressed in such rich costume that no one can remember his face. Can the royal council find him? Who sent him?

You’ve got to stay on top of stuff like that.

Well, let’s see if we can move the story forward… before the skies open. No way I can finish it this year.

And I still have some blog posts to write–well, let’s go out and work, and see how long it lasts.

All Noozed Out

Why Is My Leopard Gecko Laying Flat? - Reptile Jam

If you’ve read the previous post (“Best Buy,” etc.), you’ll understand when I say I’m noozed out, can’t take anymore. And I’m not even one of those nooze junkies who know the names of the politicians’ lawyers.

I scan dozens of nooze stories every weekday, selecting only a few for publication here. By Saturday I’ve had it. No mas, no mas! Unless you can find a really edifying report of fabulously successful pushback that totally traumatizes leftids… Yeah, I’ll publish that.

Meanwhile, let’s drop in on Rottnest Island and see what kind of TV Byron the Quokka has for us this weekend.

I’ll Be Late Tomorrow

Movie Review: The Crawling Eye (1958) |

I seem to have lost the ability to post articles in advance: I’m stuck in real time.

I have an early-morning appointment with the eye doctor tomorrow and I may not get a chance to post anything till I get back–and I don’t know when that will be. And if he dilates my pupils, that’ll make it hard to type. Or read.

Be that as it may, I will make every effort to be here tomorrow… sometime.

I’ll Try (Honest)

Lizard Waking Up Stock Photo - Download Image Now - Animal, Animal Body  Part, Animal Eye - iStock

I’m still a bit down from my stupid car accident, it’s supposed to be hideously hot today, and I’m supposed to write a Newswithviews column and I don’t have the foggiest idea what to say.

Shake it off, dude.

I guess I’ll go work outside before the temperature becomes unbearable. I do have a couple of posts I want to share with you, but I’d better go outside first.

No, it’s not ****ing Climate Change. It’s called “summer.”

Normal Service Interrupted

Dented car hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy

The computers aren’t working properly and I have just had a car accident. Nobody hurt, but I certainly don’t feel like much. Patty is stuck on the phone with Verizon.

This day is pretty hopeless so far. I have stuff I meant to write about, but there are times when it just can’t be done. This looks like one of them.

I Hope You Won’t Leave!

Family Chaos Images – Browse 4,721 Stock Photos, Vectors, and Video | Adobe  Stock

We have to replace our big computer this week (thank Heaven the laptop stays as is!) and everything around here is going to be in a state of chaos. I will try to keep the blog going from the laptop, but it’s all going to be a gigantic disruption. This month has been a blogging disaster. This week is gonna be a three-ring circus without the rings.

Anyway, please stick around if you possibly can, and we’ll try to get everything back to normal by August.

Now Where Was I?

Dead Letters #2: Are Frogs Aliens? – The Catamount

Okay: the main computer, the laptop, and the printer are now back in business. This consumed our entire weekend and most of this morning.

The only nooze I’ve heard is that the Dutch government fell, which came as no surprise. “Hey! What say we shut down all the farms–put a stop to Climbit Chains?” “Ja, myheer, that is a very good idea! And while we’re at it, why don’t we bring in another couple million Muslims?” Of course their government fell. What took it so long?

France will be next, if they don’t find a way to calm the people down. I suggest pursuing sane and productive policies instead of wicked idiocies.

I have a lot of catching up to do–unless y’all would like me to just take it from here, let the dead (so to speak of nooze that everyone else has already covered) bury the dead.