Will I Start My New Book Today?

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I had it strongly in my mind to start writing my next book today. Yeah, today.

The thought came to me as I was washing dishes: “Do it the way Homer showed us, in The Iliad: Jump right into the middle of the story, with both feet!” Any time I can get advice from Homer, I take it.

This story will be the life of King Ozias–his early life, at least, as he grew up in Lintum Forest.,. I think it ought to be told by Obst, putting together all the information scattered throughout the Scriptures. Obst will understand the turbulent times that Ozias knew: civil war, Heathen invasions, gangs of murderers trying to hunt him down…

All that being said, today the sky is slate-grey and it’s just itchin’ to rain on me and on my work. I can’t do this indoors because there’s too much distraction. I need the green grass, a blue sky, and the birds. God is in all those things; and I want Him to be present in my book, too.

Well, I still have to go to the store and pick up the laundry. Let’s see if the sky clears by the time I’m done.

Lee the Local Sports Editor

21,927 Kids Soccer Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

As managing editor of the old Bayshore Independent, my multitude of duties included setting up our local sports section every week. The towns we covered all had children’s sports leagues and parents demanded detailed coverage. They rang my phone off the hook to make sure I gave due prominence to their offspring’s athletic feats.They also sent written reports of the week’s games… which I had to rewrite.

Most of these reports were written by parents who wanted their kids to be recognized as sports stars. So-and-so scored another hat trick! Little Bobby “the Italian Stallion” Beamish–the nickname was repeated numerous times–had an assist! Andy Kabonga led the Hooterville Hotspurs to another triumph!

Some of these kids were playing in several leagues at once–like it was a job or something–and any mention of them that I failed to make instantly provoked an angry phone call. I began to form an impression that none of these children ever just played a game for fun. I wondered if mere fun was ever part of it. Heaven help me if I left out a game. Parents must have scanned our sports pages with a fierce intensity.

I don’t miss this job. Mary Gesundheit smashed a double in tee-ball! She is surely destined for stardom!

My wife, who was the bookkeeper there, used to call me up pretending to be an angry parent whose child’s hat trick had not been given all the praise it should have had. She liked the way I mindlessly went into my spiel about how sorry I am but we can’t always find space for every single nuance of every single game, etc. Then I’d realize she was pranking me, oh, fap.

The Robbie Report

robbie picture

We got good news today from Robbie’s vet. They’ve done the blood work: her kidney numbers are back down to normal, and so are her thyroid numbers. She won’t need to be checked again for six months. It’s a great relief to us.

Robbie recently had her sixteenth birthday, and that makes her a “senior cat.” You might well think she was younger than that, to look at her. She’s had more than her share of serious medical problems in her life, but she’s still ticking.

Meanwhile, the weather here has not been friendly to any writer who needs to work outdoors. I want to start writing my next book, the early life of King Ozias, who lived two thousand years ago. I think I’d like to frame it as a tale told by Obst, King Ryons’ teacher. The tale is told in Obann’s Scriptures, in bits and pieces scattered here and there. Obst will have to put it all together into a coherent narrative.

To start a new book is exciting, but also a little bit daunting. Can I do it? Can I make it work? Will it serve God? The only way to find out is to pray for guidance and write the book.

Court to California: No, You Can’t Do That (Plus a Personal Experience)

267 Stern Judge With Gavel Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images -  iStock

“Case closed, take a hike!”

A Superior Court judge in Los Angeles has struck down California’s forced “diversity” law, which required corporate boards of directors to seat up to four women before the year is out (https://www.reuters.com/legal/legalindustry/california-law-requiring-women-company-boards-struck-down-2022-05-16/).

The judge found the measure blatantly unconstitutional, violating the requirement of equal treatment under the law. Judicial Watch called it one of many “unprecedented attacks on anti-discrimination law.”

This reminds me of an incident from way back in the 1970s. Some of us received a grant from Michigan State to start a magazine. To recruit editors and writers, we held a meeting, open to all, at which anyone who applied for a position would be given one–to show what he or she could do. Point is, we were turning no one away.

After the meeting, the guy who started the project said to me, “This is very bad! We have no black people on our editorial board. I don’t think we should publish, under the circumstances.”

Doh! “But Jove,” I protested. “There were black people here tonight. Any one of them could have had a position for the asking. Is it our fault none of them asked? What do you want to do–force them?” He grumbled a lot, but didn’t have an answer.

Doubtless this California court ruling will trudge its way to the Supreme Court, and then we can have more wackos demonstrating in from of judges’ homes. The fact is that “laws” like this are always tantamount to the same discrimination they’re supposed to put a stop to.

Haven’t we now got a vice president whose one and only qualification for the job was that she’s a Black Woman and that’s what they wanted? I mean, that was the only thing they wanted?

Well, for the time being a judge has told the state of California, “No, you can’t do that.”

 

Oh…. Fap!

43,749 Heavy Rain Photos - Free & Royalty-Free Stock Photos from Dreamstime

This day just ain’t going my way.

I did get caught in the rain, big-time. Every time I start to read Rodney Stark’s book, I get rained on. Trying to salvage my cigar break, I stowed the book in the foyer and broke out the umbrella. It wasn’t quite equal to the challenge.

Then we had to make an extra trip to Whole Foods because they failed to deliver what we ordered.

Maybe I should just give it a rest till after suppertime. I’m wet. I’m tired. Can’t think how to improve today’s viewer numbers.

See you later for a cat video.

I Can’t Get Into Gear!

The Lizard Lab on Twitter: "Hot off the press! Our new paper on  anti-predator behaviour in newly hatched Australian water dragons.  @JamesBG_27 scared a lot of baby lizards! https://t.co/ZwRA1IJDOS e-mail us  for

There’s too much to do!

After going on a passel of errands this morning, I find myself stymied. What to write about? Can’t get the new book started: thunder has been rumbling, can’t sit outside and write. And as for nooze…

Fap.

Yo, folks, what should I write about today? I mean, that everybody else isn’t already writing about. I think I’ll try to have a cigar and read some of Rodney Stark’s book before it starts to rain. That’ll give you some time to offer suggestions. I need some helpful hints for getting my viewership back up to speed.

Stay Tuned!

Person Looking Through Keyhole Stock Photo by ©AndreyPopov 63345081

I have to go to the store now, but stay tuned for some huuuuge big nooze a little later!

Joe Collidge will check in, but there’s bigger nooze than that–

–Has the Pregnant Man returned already? He hasn’t been defenestrated?

My bloodwork is in, by the way: looks like I’m good for another year. I did have COVID, though: but we thought so. Now I have natural antibodies. Ditto Patty. But we think it was COVID that carried off our little Peep.

Gotta go before it starts raining…

The $%#@ing Toilet Broke!

Kohler Toilet Flush Handle Replacement, Fits Side Mount Toilet Tank Lever,  Chrome Polished - - Amazon.com

It’s just about bed-time, I’m watching a little YouTube video, when Robbie starts yowling for some more food and Patty wakes up and starts, um, exhorting me to do that–which means I have to clear away some dirty dishes first, and the cat follows me and carries on like she’s on the very brink of starving to death.

No sooner do I get the dishes into the sink when I am subjected to an urgent call of nature which I dare not ignore, despite the protests that ensue when I rush upstairs to the bathroom.

Finished. I flush the toilet. The handle breaks. Yes, it’s 11:30 at night and the fatzing toilet breaks. This leads to a heart-felt soliloquy.

Now it’s the next morning, and by the light of day I see that I can easily fix this myself if I can only get the parts. Voila, we order them online. Meanwhile, to flush the toilet, we have to remove the top, reach inside, and pull the chain that lifts the flapper.

It’s those little irritations in life that drive you freakin’ crazy.

A Blogger’s Day

Computer cartoon Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

I’ve done my weekly Newswithviews column, don’t ask me how, I’ve put up what were intended to be really interesting blog posts, and have been trying to forget the latest sales figures for my books.

Viewer traffic here has gone way down this month. It’s like working at CNN. I don’t know why. Some of you are Christian bloggers–has this been happening to you, too?

Maybe what I need is some posts by really hot guests. Celebrities! Yeah, that might do it. I emailed a big one last week, but he hasn’t answered me. How big? Well, put it this way: if Oprah Winfrey asked me for a guest spot, she’d have to stand in line behind this celebrity. That goes for Joey Bishop, too.

Let’s go check the email again…

Blood Work (What Will They Find?)

Yale Peabody Museum on Twitter: "It's Thursday. Let's celebrate.  Podokesaurus is the new state #dinosaur of Massachusetts! #DailyDetail  #AgeofReptilesMural https://t.co/F63TaWOCLM" / Twitter

Enjoy this nice picture of a Podokesaurus.

All right, I’m back from having blood work done at a diagnostics lab. Results will be ready in two days: find out what kind of frightful diseases are lurking in my bloodstream, working for the Grim Reaper.

Nice people at the lab, though. (It’s the nice ones who get you. Your guard is down, y’see…)

Well, let’s get to work and see if we can generate some views today.