It’s 160 B.C., and the Roman Republic is the dominant power in the Mediterranean, governed by the Roman Senate and the Roman People’s Assembly.
But there has been friction between Rome and a power far inland–the United Scythians of Asia. We join the Senate with the debate in progress. Marcus Cato, Cato the Elder, is speaking.
“Senators, the United Scythians are ruled by a doddering dotard who can’t always remember to put his trousers on; and his newest government minister is this fat guy who paints his face and insists he is a woman. Their government is the laughing-stock of the civilized world! How long would it take us to conquer them? Fifteen minutes? Twenty? Or a whole day, if the weather’s bad? The only reason I can think of to send an army there would be if we felt sorry enough for those people to replace their government for them. And it wouldn’t have to be a big army, either!”
Happily, we know that no government like that would ever come into existence in the real world…
For four years-plus, it was Donald Trump: he was the boogie man, and Democrats used our Free & Independent Nooze Media Inc. to attack him every day, every night, non-stop.
But now he’s out of office and they need a new super-villain to scare the plebs. Looks like it’s going to be… “militia.”
People have been wondering why all those troops have been kept in Washington D.C. Some think it’s because Democrats can only govern us at gun-point. Maybe. But–!
Today is March 4; and today’s session of Congress has been canceled for fear that “militia” are going to swoop down on Washington and re-install Donald Trump as president, even if they have to wipe out Congress to do it. The… they call it “news coverage”… by the New York Times is remarkable for both hysteria and shabby pseudojournalism (https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/03/us/politics/capitol-riot-qanon-trump.html). It would be funny if it weren’t real.
The Times hyperventilates about “Trump loyalists and extremists,” led by a not very important group called QAnon, that are supposedly going to route the troops and grab the government: “pro-Trump conspirators may be planning an attack.” Gee, I thought we were the ones who were into conspiracy theories. And of course the “militia group” that’s the focus of all this “intelligence” and panic is… you guessed it: “un-named.” Heck, it could be anybody!
As Mark Simone said, “If they’re that scared of a dozen hillbillies in a pickup truck, they should all resign and go home.”
And no NYT article would be complete without saying “Mr. Trump repeated his false claim” about the election being stolen. How do they know it’s a false claim? The courts have refused to hear the case. How do they know the evidence is false? They have refused to look at it. But this is what is called, in modern journalism, “The Narrative.” It used to be called “lying.”
So here we are on March 4, Congress off cowering somewhere, Capitol surrounded by razor wire and riot fences, and troops all over the place waiting for the hillbillies.
Fantastic. They subvert our whole electoral process, follow it up with a raft of executive orders for stuff that nobody wants–and they’re dumbfounded that a lot of people, an awful lot of Americans, are mad at them? Say it ain’t so!
It would never, never occur to them to stop doing all that commie stuff that makes us mad at them. I mean, what is the whole point of being big shots, if you’re going to be scared of the peasants?
Squeaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, a compulsive liar, sez she contacted the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on Jan. 6–when there was a very small riot at the Capitol Building–to ask about “preventing an unstable president” from going nuclear. The noozies take it as a given that nobody on the Left had anything whatsoever to do with organizing the riot–we are to take their word for it that the whole thing was 100% Donald Trump’s fault.
When did they outlaw intellectual honesty among “journalists”?
Anyway, according to this letter from the House, unspecified “past presidents” have “exhibited behavior that causes other officials to express concerns about the presidents’ judgment.”
Now, nowhere in the letter do they mention alleged “President Joe Biden,” or his leg hairs, or his deathless quote, “You know… uh, uh… the thing!” So what “presidents” are they “concerned” about? We ain’t got but one–and he’s defective. Everybody knows it.
The president has sole authority to launch nuclear missiles. At the same time, American military officers have a duty to disobey unlawful orders. And a lunatic president can be removed from office, per the 25th Amendment. Were they really, truly afraid Donald Trump was tempted to nuke D.C.? Or were they more worried that Doddering Joe might press the button because he thought he was having a rumble with Corn Pop down by the swimming pool?
Some Dems have suggested that it might be well if the president had to share that authority with, say, the vice president and whatever wad of protoplasm occupies the Speaker’s chair. Yeah, swell idea. Round ’em up and chew the fat for a couple hours while the bad guys are gleefully peppering America with their missiles. And there’s always the possibility that they might not be able to reach an agreement in time to fight the nuclear war at all. So the reason the president has that sole authority is because time is of the essence.
Readers’ Quiz For The Day: Who are more dishonest–Democrats or “journalists”?
They’ve done “experiments on mannequins in a lab”–no testing on humans yet–and admit, grudgingly, that “double masking might impede breathing or obstruct peripheral vision.” Ya think? And so, they say, we might try “placing a sleeve made of sheer nylon hosing material around the neck and pulling it up over either cloth or medical procedure mask”… with “knots and tuckings” to make it tight.
Well, the forecast is still for beaucoup snow, and we’ve decided we’d better bring in more groceries today rather than wait till tomorrow. We shall see what happens.
As I learned from my experiences as a reporter, snow removal is often a contentious issue in small towns. Generally they’ve already spent their snow removal budget on other things months before the first snowflake falls. Then it snows and they have a crisis, and the residents are fit to be tied because their streets aren’t getting plowed.
I am reminded of a colossal snowstorm here, many years ago, in which the town councilman in charge of activating the Public Works Dept. for plows, etc., was nowhere to be found. It was a quirk of government that only this guy had the authority to put the plows to work: they couldn’t move until he gave the word.
It turned out he was spending the night with his girlfriend and didn’t realize it was snowing like crazy. The next day, of course, he discovered that we’d had two feet of snow, so he finally told the plows to go ahead. They would’ve had a much easier job of it if they’d gotten to work 12 hours sooner.
Pressed for an explanation of why he hadn’t been available when they needed him, the best the councilman could do was, “Well, it ain’t snowin’ now!” Made it stop, then, did you? Attaboy.
I’ve attended more than a few town council meetings that melted down into ire and rancor over snow removal: no one likes getting blamed for it not happening. I’m reminded of one night when the Public Works foreman practically frog-marched a vocal critic into a DPW truck for a tour of the township so he could see the lads were hard at work everywhere–not just lazing around the township garage drinking beer and watching TV, as the critic had slyly suggested. He had no choice but to go on the tour–and the whole crowd insisted on waiting till he was brought back, so they could enjoy his humiliation.
There are reports that Joe Biden died in 2017 and that the current “Biden” that we see is either a robot or a zombie, or a mixture of both. So of course he doesn’t know what he’s signing.
Watch the video embedded in the news story and decide whether that’s actually what he said. I found it a bit hard to make out. But it’s very easy to believe he said it. No one knows what’s going to pop out of his mouth, moment by moment.
There’s hardly any point to reporting the nooze just now. We all know what the nooze is. Our country has been stolen by a crime syndicate with ties to the Chinese Communist Party. And we don’t know what to do about it. All we have left is our prayers. I pray for vengeance.
So that’s all the nooze I’m gonna do today, unless somebody out there asks for something in particular.
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