Tag Archives: joe collidge

No Moar Consurfatives aloud In collidge!!

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{this it is us out-syde The Dene’s Ofise!}

Wood yiu beleave it?? Fore or Five Racist Biggits thay got tagether “and” caled thareselfs “Yung Amarickens Four Freeedem”” and “thay” aksed the Collidge to give themb Offisule Reckonition!!!

Well naturely The Collidge thay sayed No we woont!! Of coarse not!!! Becose jist havving “consurfatives” arownd it wood “be” Vilence aginst Mynaritty Stodents and it wood doo themb reely Bad Emocionel Harm”!! Woops i hased a Typo in thare somwear but now i cant Fynde it! If Hillery she was pressadint insted of Donold Trumpt thare woodnt “be” no Typoes!!!

This gived us a reely good idear So we whent to the Dene and de-manded “that” themb Racist Biggits thay shood “be” Eckspellled!!! thare shoodnt be none “Of” those consurfatives in Collidge anyhow becose it Makes emocianel Harm jist to has themb thare!!! Jist fore themb To Ecksist it “is” Vilence!!!!!! and The Dene he agreeed whith Us and he done it tooo,, rite Affter we toled him we wood key his Car iff he diddnt!!!

So nhow thare isnt No Consurfatives alloud heer At All!! And yiu know watt?? that is ecksackly how yiu Get Socile Jutstus!!! And aslo Divvercity!!! somboddy he sayed themb YAFF Biggits thay was goingto Sue the Collidge so we toled themb that iff thay did We wood give thare Names and Dresses to Antifa and then wood “they” “be” Sorry!!!!!!


Gratuaition Day is Hear!!

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I has got to lagh at al themb dops thay “are” gointo Graduraite becose thay “are” Too Dumm to stayh in Collidge and aslo becomb reel Interllecturals!! Iff yiu Play yore “Cards” rihght yiu “can” stayh In collidge like fourevver!!!!

Butt we has got to go throogh This evry yeer so Last nihght we hadded “a” spacial meting “of” The Stodent Soviet to maike a Lisst  of al the things we has to Stopp annyboddy from sayin “in” “a” Gratuaition Speach!!! It taked us al Niht long to doo it!! but it got to be dun Or Else yiu wil jist here a Lot of Racism and Biggitism and Trans Phobier and Bitumenism in al “themb” speaches!!!!!! Us who be on The Stodent Soviet we amn’t none of us Gradurating!!

Jist to give yiu peart of The lisst,, No Saying any religgin, no mail ore feemail Pro Nowns, no sayin the Nambs of enny Whyte Mens, nothing from no Books by Whyte Mens, –And jist to maike shoor evry Thing “it” gose alright,, we aslo maked it a Roole abuot What Yiu Has To Say In Yore Speach,; evryone whoo spekes, thay has got to Praze Divercity and Repoducty Rihghts and Socile Jutstus and thay has aslo Got “to” say Climbit Change it is reel and Donold Trumpt he is a Knotsy and Whyte Wimmim thay are no good tooo and Socile-Izzm it “is” “the” only whay!!!

So thare “are” A Lot of things no boddy thay are aloud to Say and aslo A Lot of things thay has got to say and iff thay Brake Our Rooles we “wil” Rip Up thare Dipploamers and not lett themb Graturate!!!!!!!!!

Editor’s Note: If you are as disgusted by the state of our colleges and looniversities as I am, below is a picture of something much more wholesome: a Fiji iguana.

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Thay Has Arrasted my prefesser!!!

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I amb reely up-set “now”!” The Cops thay camed “and” arested My fayvrit Prefesser he was Teeching Adfanced Nothing Studies and thay jist come in “and” grabed him!! i amb trying “to” rember watt his “Name” is butt it “is” hard “to” Spelll!!!

I reely lyked himb becose he “was” awlyays laghint evvin wen No Boddy elst was,, he is a reel Jolly man! Evin thuohgh he Yelled a lot!!

He was jist “givin” this Lexture abuot how he is Goingto hunt doawn and kill evvry boddy who was evver Meen to himb and evvry boddy who evver Dis-resspected himb and aslo evvry One “who” done Micro Grecians aginst himb!!!! This it was “a” reely Grate Lexture and sumbtimes he laffed “and” sumbtimes he Cryed and aslo sumbtimes he jist Screemed and banged his hed on the Black Bored!!

Wel some Rat he mustof caled The Poleece i bet it was sumb stopid dope who has got bad Hetero Normantivvaty!! And To-niht wee “are” “goingto” has a Demon Striation to maik themb let “himb out” of Jale!!!! No Jutstus No Piece!!!!!!!!!! He is sutch a goood gye he evin gived us “all” A++++es!!

Whel it jist gose “to” Showe yiu that thare Is “moar” Socile Jutstus kneeded evin hear in Collidge!! This Prefesser Watsisname he is “a” ture Interllectural and thay whil be sari thay Arristed himb! and i bet themb cops thay “Are” goingto Whind Up on his List tooo!!!!

 


Iff he Says he Is a Jerafft then He reely is A Jerafft!!!

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We hadded to has “a” spacial meting of The Stodent Soviet “last” Nihght becose thare “is” a gye on campas he says he “is” a Jerafft and he whil Sue evry boddy witch says he Isnt!!!!

And yiu Know the Haters and Biggits thay whil be alll over This,, thay whil be Saying he isnt no Jerafft and That Is A Micro Grecian and anty-Intrasexional and Racist!!! And aslo a Attak on his Idenity!!! And aslo a Attak on Dyvercity its Self!!!!!!!!!! i has addded exter explamation Poynts to proove how Serias this it Is!!!!!!!!

Well frist we voated that “this” gye he REELY “is” a Jerafft and “that” wee The Stodent Soviet wee whil get anny boddy Expalled for hat speach wen thay do Jerafft De Nile!! Yes we whil Get “yiu” Kicked Out Of Collidge fore that!!! Becose thare cant be no True Freeedem unlest evry boddy thay al say and do and Think “the” sayme!!!!!! only it haves to bee watt The Stodent Soviet thinks and sayes or it dont Cownt! this tyme i put ownly One explamatoin Poynt to proove how Serias “this” Is!?;!

And thist moaning in Nothing Studies wee maid evvry stodent “sine” a Ohth that “this hear” gye he REELY is a Jerafft and thare “was” one Iddiat whoo sayed he woodnt sine nothing butt he chainged “his” Mined affter the Rest Of “us” we beet him Up!!!

I amb exited abuote al “this” becose hear At Collidge “we” are chainging The Whirld!!!!

 


Lets go On A Dieit!!

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Yeasterday we hadded a spacial Lexture in Nothing Studdies abote Dieits and “Haow” yiu shoodnt “eeat” nothing whith Attems in it! Becose themb Attems thay gett “mixed” tagether “and” That maikes themb into Mollycules and thenn Anny Thing it Can “hapen” jist abote al of It all Bad!!!!

It terns Out thare “are” Mollycules in Meet and Vejtibbles and themb Mollycules thay are watt maikes yiu Fat and maikes yiu aslo Whatch Fox News!!! Butt i was Feeeling Releaved becose yiu can stil eet jim sox and hankerchiffs thare isnt no Mollycules in thare!!! But then the Lexturer she sayed “i Hait to telll yiu this butt thare is Attems in pracktally Evry Thing and Attems thay meene Mollycules!!”!

and then somb Eaval whyte Soupremassist he wispered “O Yeah?? then how comb she her is so freekin Fatt??? she must waigh 3 hunderd powneds!!! butt” we herd himb so six of us wee beet himb up!!! Aslo now he hasto “go” to Sencertivatty Traning becose he is Aginst Divercity!!!!! We try not to lett enny Fashists into Nothing Studdies but thay “keep” sneeking “in”!” and maiking biggit speach!!!

Wel somb of Us we was whirryed yiu coodnt “eat” nothing at al becose amlost “Evvry” Thing its got Attems in “it” but that is OK afteral becose The Lexturer “she” toled us she cood cell us “theese” hear Pills witch yiu can take and “thay” “pre-vent” the Attems fromb buntching tagether “And” maiking Mollycules!!! So natcherly we al byed themb Pills so now we are “Saif” fromb Mollycules!!!!! It was a Close Cawl thuohgh!!!!!!


Yiu cant Beet Beeto!!!

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I jist lernt “sumnthing” grate “on” the CNN Niews!!!

That nogood Racist Biggit Moreon Donold Trumpt,, soone he “wont” “be” pressadint no moar!!! Beeto O. Rork he whil be pressadint insted!!!!! Becose CNN thay taked a pole and the pole it “showed” Beeto he is a head by ten poynts!!!! and i was so hapy i runned out-side and jumped “all” aruond butt i had to Stop wen my Pants thay splitted!!

Of coarse i stil whant Hillery she shuld be pressadint but Beeto he is amlost as grate!!! i fourget weather he is fromb Tecksis or Suedan but that dont mater! He is so grate!!! aslo he is a genieist, he is “reel” Smart! and he wuld of won Last time only The Russhins thay rigged that ellectoin in wearever it was so that bumb Ted Croose he wuld win insted!! So voating for Beeto it is amlost the saim “as” Voating four Hillery!!!!!

And yiu woodnt beleave How increddably Poplar Beeto he is!!! Did yiu know that at “his” Last Raly he had amlost 30 peeple!?? No whey thay wood evver fitt “in” My prefesser”s Tool Shedd!!! Plus i heared that all themb 30 peeple at the raly thay was all genieistes tooo!!! That is a awphle lot of brane powwer in jist One plaice!!!!!

Hear at Collidge our Stodent Soviet wee has all reddy rooled that evryboddy hear thay has to voat “four” Beeto or Elsa thay willl be ackspellt and lose al thare Tutoin munny!!! Becose yiu cant has No Dyvercity unlest evvry one thay al voats the saim whay!!!

Yiu jist whait untill Beeto he “is” pressadint!!! Yiu woont reckanize this nogood stopid countrie onct he “gets” thurohugh whith it!!!!!!


Note to Dr. Credulous: You’re Fired

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Sorry, Doc, but you are cut from the team. Vamoose! And don’t let the door hit you in the kiester as you leave.

I thought it might be nice to give some space on this blog to someone who believes what he hears from the nooze media and Hollywood; but heck, we’ve already got Joe Collidge for that. And there are still millions of nooze-eaters out there who think Hillary shoulda been president only darn old Donald Trump did Collusion With The Russians.

They’ve already got a voice, and more of a voice than is good for America. Dr. Credulous, you’ll just have to go back to teaching Intersectional Gender Fluid Superhero Self-Stimulation at Harvard.

‘Cause we don’t need you here.


Yes Chrischins thay shuld Be Locked Up!!!

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O man, sombtimes I wisht i culd go to Harverd evin thuohgh i like It “hear at” Fimbo Collidge becose “thay” let me majer In Nothing Studdies!!

Harverd thay hadded a Divercity Conphrints and “the” speeker who spoke he sayed chrischins Thay shuld auhght to Be Locked UP!!! (https://www.thecollegefix.com/keynote-speaker-at-harvard-diversity-conference-says-christians-should-be-locked-up/) Is he evver Rihght!! i cant weight four “the” Next Stodent Soviet meating so wee can say that tooo!!!!!

Kernel Sanders he has it rihght,, al themb peple in Jale thay shuld be aloud to Vote in Jale and one of The “things” the Neckst Pressadint she shuld do,,, it shuld be Hillery it is Her Tern “to” be Pressidint, she shuyld Let al the Fellins Out of Jale and lock UP al the chrischins instedd!!!!!!!!!! but themb chrischins thay Shuddnt Vote in Jale thay shuld jist Shut UP!!! Becose yiu cant has no True Divercity as long as anyboddy thay “are aloud To “Be” chrischins!!!

aslo thay shuld aslo Lock UP evry boddy that is Aginst Sceince and Aginst Opan Boarders and Aginst Socilism and ownly let Gay and Trans Peeple and Fellins vote!!! And thare shuddnt “be” no moar Religgin neether!!! then the Whorld Guvvermint it wil get ridd of evvry Thing that is Bad and thare will ownly be Goood Stuph lepht!!!! We wil aslo get ridd of al The Bad Wether so it is nyce wether al The “time”!!

Wen i finnish and Get my deegree in Nothing Studdies “i” wil hellp do this!!! Al us Interllechurls we willl al be In “the” Guvvermint!


Wye I dont Brusch my teeeth No Moar!!!

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The grate Thing abuot Collidge “is” we lern stuff we nevver knowed befour!!

Frinstints, yeasterday i lernt that Brusching yore Teeeth it is Racist!!! Evry Wyte Parson who brusches his Teeeth he “is” “a” Racist!! and aslo “it” is No Good for Peple Of Culler to brusch thare Teeeth ether becose “that” it Is Acting Wyte!!!

Yiu wood be supprized at “all themb” Things thatt turns Out “to Be” Racist!! i amb so Gladd i swiched my Majer to Nothing Studdies becose now i amb lerning all kinda things Thay “are” Racist and yiu woodnt nevver know “It” iff yiu didnt Goto Collidge!!!

Hear are “some Moar” Things that “are” aslo Racist that yiu probly didnt Know abote:;- Sun Screeen, shooe laces,, maiking yore Bed ((evin thuohgh i nevver do that anyhow), Drinking Millk, whaching cat viddios {i dont do that neether!! i alreddy knowed that it is Racist],, Bying Stuff at the Stoar, and aslo that orinj stuff “thay calll” it Tang or som Thing!! i amb so Greatfull to Nothing Studdies becose thay teached me that!!!

I cant hardly Whaite untill i Gradurate and then get a Mastres Deeegree and than a PhuD and than I can “be” “a” Prefesser of Nothing Studdies!!!


Joe Collidge Explains How Flying Snakes Evolved

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Yiu “can” alyaws tel ordrinary dum peeple thay “nevver” goed to Collidge and thay are Anti Sience!! This one guy out Thare he dont know how themb Flying Snaiks thay Evolved so i amb goingto “tel” himb!!!

Hunderds of yeers ago thare was ordrinary reglur snaiks who keppt “falling” out “of” Trees and then thay de-sided thay auhght to do It On Porpus!! At frist thay jist kepp geting Kild but thay stuck whith “it” yeer afftar yeer, thay Practised untill thay got it rihght!!! Thay de-sided to Evolve thare boddies so as To Be Abel to Glyde!! For a wile thare thay was only Haf-way abel to fly butt Practise it maikes prefeckt!! al themb snaiks that falled Out “of” “the” Trees eventurly thay got good at glyding evvin “the” “ones” that got Kild thay stil hadded Baybe snaiks that didnt Fall so Hard!!! And eventurly becose of Natchral Sellectoin and Jeneticks thay was abel to Flygh!!!

In Nothing Studdies we “are” goingto “do this” hear Exspearmint some of us thay wil “jump” out of Dorm winders and Flap thare Arms lyke Whings al the weiy Down and iff stodents keep “doing” “this” fore menny Centries thay wil “get” beter And beter at it until thare Arms thay Evolve into Whings!!! Yiu jist has to allouw enuohgh Time four “it”!!!!!


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