We Wahnt Themb Tamp-Ons!!!!!

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Neckst thing yiu know,, the’ll Lock Up “the” Toylit Paper tooo!!!

We hadded a Merjintsy Meting of the Stoodint Soviet “this” moaning becose “we” jist herd the Collidge “was goingto” taik Tamp-Ons oaut “of” The mans bath=rhoombs and putt them “in The” wimmin’s bath-rhoombs becose thare “is” A Tamp-On shoartidge!!!!!

This heer it “is” “a” Colambitty!!!!!!!! It is A Secksyst Bloe aginst Men whoo got to Mansterate!!!!! It “is” Un-Inkloosiff!!!! We are Not goingto Taik “it” lyeing daown!!!!!!

Of coarse thare shuddnt “be” Mans OR Wimmins bath/rhoombs At All!!!! Thare shood Ownly “be” Peeples Bath Rhoombs!!!!!!!!!! That is Becoause “Men’ “and” “Wimmin’ thay Are Not Reel!!!! Thay are Ownly Socile Contrucks!!!!!!!

Y’know waht??? I hadded my hart sett “On” using a Tamp-On foar The frist tyme and nhow thare Is Not enuff Tamp-Ons “to” Go Araound!!!! That is Pootin’s fawlt!!! and aslo Donold Trumpt’s”!”!! Wate till Pressadint Jobydin he fynds Oaut!!!!!

So we writ And sented himb a “letter” deemanding that he duz a Axecrative Odor that anny boddy whoo Whants A Tamp-On thay shood “get one” foar Freee!!!!!!! He whil straitin this Oaut Quicck!!!

Joe Collidge: ‘I”ll Beet That Qwokker!”!’

Young Quokka Crossing A Road Rottnest Island Australia Stock Photo -  Download Image Now - iStock

Iff it”s Wor he whants,, it”s Wor he wil Gett!!!!!

That thare stopid Biron “the” Qwokker he thingks he Can gett moar Reeders than Me, Joe Collidge!!!! We hased a Bet “on” it butt he cheeted! by aksing Reeders to rede himb!!!

Doughnt he know “That” i amb A Collidge Stodint and tharfour mutch Smarter than himb??? Doughnt he know “that” thare “are” billyins of collidge stodints witch rede My colyumbs?? Waht a foool!!!!!! And wen i Winn “the” bett he has got “To” giv me a onarraiy deegree fromb that thare Stopid Qwokker Unadversity witch he duzznt has!! I thingk i whil deemanned a Deegree in Nuculer Fizzicks soa I can teech It “at” “a” skool!!!!

Himb and his stopid TV lisztings! He havint gott a Chancet!!!!!!!!!! Look “at” himb running Aweigh!!! He knows his gueese it is coooked!!! Evry reel Soso Jutstus Wirer in the worrled thay “Are” “On” my syde!!! And evry Interllectural tooo!!

I fourget waht i’m saposed To give himb if he winns,,, witch he woont!!! Hay, Biron, this heer Is “waht” yiu get wen yiu Go Up aginst Joe Collidge!! A bole of Equitty Soup!!!!!! Ha Ha!! Yiu thingk i’m in Nothing Studdies for nothing????

And we whil aslo Keey his Car tooo!!!

We ‘Are’ Awl Goingtobe Teechers!!!!!

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Grate grate news!!! The Yung Demmacratick Sosolists of Amairica thay “are” goingto has a grate Big traning sesshin “Wye Sosolists they Shood Becumb Teechers”!”!” Becose Awll teechers “thay” shood Awll be Sosolists!!!!!

Somb Biggit Hater he sayed “I thawt th”e”y allreddy was!””!” So we got himb kickked Out “of” our collidge!!!! And one of our Prefessers he Bitt himb!!!!!!!!

It is ture “that” a lott of us we “are” allreddy Sosolists butt we nevver thawt of becumbing Teechers!! Whork it blows!! and Teeching, it is whork!!! But sumb boddy fromb the Teechers Uynian she toled us “that” the skools thay nead Lots Moar Raddiculls in the Class Rhoomb!!!! Well, haow cood yiu Not agreee whith That???

Butt frist we gots to Set Up a Teechers Collidge heer “At” our collidge becose we hasnt got one!!!! Setting It Up, it toook awl Day!!! Still,, lyke the wimmin fromb The Uynian sayed, Sosolism it woont cumb unlest “we” Maik it hapen!!!!!

Nhow i wunder Waht Iyll teech,, and iff I can “finnish” urning My Degreee in Nothing Studies! Iyd sort of lyke teeching Nuculer Phyzzicks, butt I herd “thare whil be” a lott of opinnings for teeching Criptical Race Theery!!!! Mayby i cood Teech themb boath at oncet!!!!! Becose thay “are” Very Simular!!!!!

P,S@ We got in trubble becose Our Statchew of Pressadint Obamma it still Has “a” Pumkin foar a Hedd becose the reggaler Hedd it falled offf!! But we hassnt figrued Out yet haow “To” ficks It!!!!!!

Byron the Quokka vs. Joe Collidge: It’s War

Young Quokka Crossing A Road Rottnest Island Australia Stock Photo -  Download Image Now - iStock

G’day! Why did the quokka cross the road?

To try to get some views!

Byron the Quokka here, mates; and it looks like our little bet with Joe Collidge, over who can get the most views, is getting out of hand. Joe has his whole Student Soviet compulsively clicking onto his last post. Good thing they forgot you have to turn the computer on first. Like, if you don’t see anything on the screen, there’s nothing there.

Here at Quokka University, we don’t cheat but we’ve only got the one computer and everybody here has already seen my last TV listings. So we are relying on humans who do not live on Rottnest Island to help us hold our own against those wackos at the college. We do not want to lose the bet and have to give that simpleton an honorary degree from Quokka University–and be laughed at by wombats for the rest of our lives.

Give us a leg up, eh?

This Heer ‘It Is’ Reel Freedumb!!!!!

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The Soviet Onion thay alyaws got Evry Thing rihght!!!

We hadded a spatial Meting tooday “of” the Stoodent Soviet to cellerbrate this heer Fanntatstick idear thay has “At” somb collidge in Cannerda!!! We whant “to do” evin Beter!!!!

Thay maid stoodents admit thay done awl soarts “of” Bad Things to Indains “and” Naytive Peepul and iff “thay” woodnt admit it well then thay “woont Be” aloud to taik On-Lign Coarses!!!!! But then thay sorta terned Chickin “and” sayed thay wassnt Trying To “foarce” stoodints to Subbmitt to thare Idiologery!!!!!!

That is ware thay Mist The Boet!!!! That is ware Our Collidge “we Can” do Beter!!!!

Becose We “know” that Subb-Missian is Freedumb!!!!! Iff we doughnt lurn Anny Thing elss “in” collidge,, We Lern That!!!!!!!!!!

So we voated to maik Evry stoodint sine “a” Pledj that seys that They “Are” awl Guillty of Evry Thing! Slavry and Miss Gendring and Secksism and Abulism and Not Recycling-@–thay “Are” Gillty!!!!

And yiu Know waht??? It is Trans Fourmatave!!!!!! This heer it “is” EDucayssion whith A capittle D!!!!!! This here it is Fuddna-Mentle Trans Fourmasion!!!!

Thare is Nothing haff so Grate “as” That!!!!!!!!!!

We Has a ‘Man’ Whoo Layze Eggs!!!

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Heer at Collidge,, furst we hadded “a” pregganint man whoo gived Berth to a pillow,, Pulled it “rihght out” fromb Under his T-Shurt!!!!! He whanted to get a bortion butt he “was” Too Layte!!!! So mutch for awl themb Biggits and Haters whoo “say” “a” man he caint get pregganint!!!!!!

Butt this weak we hased Sombthing bettter!!!! A man whoo “layed” haff a duzzin Eggs!!!!! It jist gose to sho waht we bin lurning in Nothing Studies, “Byollagy it dose Not determan yore Ginder!!”!” Or eevin yore Speeshees!!

Nhow i didnt sea himb Lay “the” Eggs becose afftur All that “is” “a” Pryvit Thing yiu doughnt “Do” it wen peeple thay “are” standing arowned Waching yiu!!!!! Butt afftur he layed themb he caime Out “Of” his Dorm Roomb and shode us “the” Eggs!! And thay are “betttur” Than chickin Eggs becose thay “are” Allreddy hard boyled!!!!!!!

Whil themb Eggs hach?? He sayed “I whil putt themb” Undder “my Bed” and “sea”!”! He didnt kneed “To” maik a Nesst,,, he jist pyled Dust Bunnys “arowned” the Eggs, he hadded plenny of thoze!!!!!!

Meenwile we “the” Stoodint Soviet we rote a lettur “to” our Centaur (his naime it “is” tooo Hard “to” Spel but yiu wood “reckkinyze himb” if yiu seed it) And we assked himb to maik it Aginst The Laww to say “that” Men they caint Get pregganint and enny boddy whoo sez that,,, thay shood be Hung and then putt “INto” Sensertivvady Traning foar ten (10) Yeers!@!!!

Baybys Thay Has Got ‘To’ Go To Collidge Tooo!!!!!

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We has got a trooly exiting projjict foar “the” Stoodint Soviet nhow!!!

We jist figgured Out “that” Baybys and Twoddelers thay doughnt “go” to Collidge!!! This heer It Is Unconchable!!!!!!!

So we “are” goingto Bring Baybys and reely liddle Kids heeer to Collidge and maik themb Smart lyke us!!!!! Eech of us on “the” Spatial Chilldrin’s Eddication Projjict we wil by Big Sibblings to theeze kidds and teech “themb” Awl Abuot Sexchual Floowid and Sistembic Racism and Proatest and waht a Stinkin Countree Amairica it Is!!!!!! We whil taik themb “to” Class whith us hellp themb See how stopid “thare” Pairints “are”!”!!

Imadgine Haow smart “theeze” kidds thay “willl Be” iff thay spend lyke ayteen ((18)) oar twenny ((20)) oar moar Yeers in Collidge!!!!!! Haow Grate is that??!? Thay whil eevin Do Play-Doh whith us!!! And wen a Kid ze is fyve ((5)) Yeers Oald thenn thay Can “deeclair” thare Mayjer!!!!!!

We “can” “do” Thiss becose Jobydin he sayze he whil get us “Owt” of hasing to Pay enny “tuission” fromb nhow on!!!!!!

We Has Awl Gots to Has A Bortion!!!!

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Hear “at” Collidge we has awl gots to go Out “and” Demminstrait for bortions,, butt frist we hadded a lexture!! so thatt we whil Know “waht” we “are” tawlking abuot!!!!

So we heerded awl abuot a heero naimed Rovy Waid, he maid a bortion leegle!!!!! He toled the Soupreem Cort waht to do and thay “done” It!!!!! Ownly nhow the Soupreem Cort thay has broke the Law!!!!! Thay woont Let Preganint Peeple has bortions!!!!!!

So we the Stoodint Soviet we has deesided “that” “fromb” nhow On evry boddy thay has got to has a bortion! weather thay Whant “it” Or Not!!!! Becose Bortions thay whil Saive The Plannit!!!!!!!!!!

We “are” awl goingto has a Bortion!!! Evry stoodint heer “At” Collidge have got “to” get pregganint and has a Bortion!!!! Baybys thay are No Good annyhaow!!!! Whoo kneads themb?? Beeing pregganint it is jist “a” dizzeeze!!! Like meezles! Or hooping cauff!! And annywhay yiu “Are Not” a purson unlest And Untill yiu voat foar Jobydin!!!!! Thats’ waht we lurnt “in” our lexture, It was Grate!!!!

And of coarse this here it “is” awl Donold Trumpt’s fawlt!!!!!! But we can ficks it iff evry boddy thay Has a Bortion!!!

Well I gotto go And demminstrait nhow!!!!!!

 

We Oapin our Collidge ‘To’ Furrys!!!

National Police Association is warring with furries. Yes, really

Finelly! we has oapinned “our” campas to Furrys, lyke “in The” pixture!!!

Acturly, the Furrys thay stratted “out” as a Ainchint Greeek thing, thay Used “to” Fly aruound dooing Venjints!!! somb “of” themb thogh thay coodnt “Fly” like if thay was bare Furrys or buny Furrys, then thay wood “has to” Run affter Bad Peeopul to “Punnish” themb foar pising Off “the” Greeek gods like Zoose and Niptoon!!!!

Well nhow thayr Back!!!!!!! Probbly thay “willl” Evenj awl the stuph Wite Peop’l thay has did to Oprest Mynorites!!!!! I heered thay burnted Down a Ho-tell oaned “by” Wite Supremes (i thawed the Supremes thay wher Black but i gess thare was somb Wite “ones” tooo!)!)

And yiu know waht “the” Besst thing abuot Furrys?? Thay “are” Non Bynairy!!!! thats rihght,, yiu “Cant” telll thay are Mail “or” Feemail becose thay are Boath “at The” saim Tyme!!!!!! A Furry ze can actully Maite whith x-selph!!!!!!!!! How grate is that?!?! and then thay can Has “a” hole liter of Furrys awl reddy to reek Venjints on The Opresters!!!!!!

I wood lyke “tobe” a Furry somb-day!!!

Now We Meen Bizniss!!!!

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I jist “kneiw” Jobydin he wood Do Grate things as pressadint!

He is goingto “Set Up” a Byuro of Miss Infomacion… oops! I shood of sayed Ms. Infomacion,, yiu cant Say “Miss” no moar!!!!! And ze whill shut down awl “the” Hater Biggits on “the” Socile Meedia,, ze whil shut themb up And shut themb down and noboddy thay woont be Abel To say things the guvvermint doughnt Like!! Iff thay doughnt like waht the Peeples Demmacrap Party it is serving “up” well That “is” jiost Two Bad foar themb!!!!!!!!!! No-one thay whil Notbe aloud to tawk no moar!!! unlest thay say waht The Guvvermint whants “To” heer!!!!

Ms. Infomacion ze whil Coumb Down “on” themb and Senser all Hat Speach!!!! Thay woont dair to say Nothing at awl!!! (PS, ze was oncet a Byuty Quean i thinck it was in Mastachoositts).

This it shood of bin Dun yeers And yeers Ago!!!! Like waht Is “the” Poynt of hasing a Intranett iff “Consarvatiffs” thay are aloud to poast stuph tooo??? Thay shood be Sylintsed!!!!! and nhow thayr Goingto be Be!!

Doughnt whirry abaot no Frist Ammenmint!!!! Thare whil styll “be” Freee Speach for evry boddy who say The Rihght Things!!!!!!