Pop-Aye he wuz Reel!!!

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Collidge it is So grate!!! Tooday we hased a lexture “In” Nothing Studdies and i lernt somb Thing i diddnt know “be”foar!!!

Pop-Aye the Saler,, thay cawled himb That “be”cawse salers thay “Are” alyaws saying Aye-Aye,, he wuz “a” Reel Perdson!!!!!! Ownly it wuzznt True abuot himb eeting Spinnitch “to get” Strawng, no it wuzznt Spinnitch it was Pot!!! Maryywanna! Wen Pop-Aye he kneeded Sooper Stringth,,, he smoaked Pot!!!!! and it maid himb “as” strawng as Stuper Man!!!!!! In facked, the prefesser sayed, “Yiu cood nevver” say “whoo wood Win “in” a Fite betweeen Pop-Aye “and” Stuper Man!!”!”

He didded moast “Of” his salering in Kanzziz or Bacteria ((i ferget witch One), he billt this heer Grate Big Schip the SS Olav Oil witch he naimed “foar” “his” gril frend and get this!!! She wuz a Trans Wimmin!!!!! that is wye she looked Like that. He saled his schip Alll Ohver The Oshin untill Global Warming it maid the oshin dry Up and bloe Awhey!!!! He tryed to “dig” A “new” oshin but Gorge W Bussh that rat! he Stopped himb!!!

Layter onn “in” Lyfe Pop-Aye he becommed a Socile Juststus Wirer and chaced al the Snaiks out of Eyerland!!

I caint hardly Wate foar “the” neckst Lexture!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

No Moar Queschins Aloud!!!!!

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We done a impotant Thing tooday! Our Stoodint Soviet we voated “to” not allouw no moar Queschins abuot nothing!!!!!

We hered aboat this “here” Pannle thay hadded at Unavorcity of Somb-plaice i forgett whare,, thay “wer” Tawking abute Micro-Grecian and some Hater Biggit HE ASKD QUESCHINS!!!! What a nurve!!! So natcherly the Unadversity thay Saspendded himb and toled him he neaded “to” get “a” Psycatrick Ovulation to “see iff” he was Crayzy!!! and wood yiu beleave it??? He woodnt!!! “So” natcherly thay kicked himb Out “of” collidge and aslo Eckspelt himb!!!!

Whell of coarse thare frist Missteak was thay aloud “himb” to ask anny Queschins in the first plaice!!!!! Collidge it is no plaice “foar” Queschins!!!!! I cannot emfersize this “strawngly” enuought!!!!! We “are” “not” heer To Ask Queschins!!! We “are” “heer” to maik Socile Jutstus!!! and aslo to do Play Doh!

Nhow that big Cry Bayby he is sooing “the” Yoonavorcity for stomping On “his” so-caled  Frist Emendmint Rihghts–lyke thare “is” anny sutch Thing “as” some Frist Amandmint at collidge!!!! Him sooing “the” Skool it is a Very Very Big! Micro-Grecian!!!! In a reel Countrie that isnt a Wite Stupremist Haite Macheen he wood jist get Shott!!!!

Heer “At” our Collidge we “are” goingto ovoid the Missteak of leting anny boddy Ask anny Queschins ever at All!!!!!!!!!! and iff we has to rap peeple “Up” in a Trasht Bagg to shut themb Up,, we whil!!!!!!!!!!

Locke Themb Alll Up!!!!

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Man did we has a Grate Lexture yeasterday!!! It “was” a guessed speeker from Gorge Sauros “and” she hased a trooly Reviloosionairy idear!!!!!

Locke up Evry Boddy witch dougnt Agreee whith us!!!!! Locke themb Up in Jale!!! and aslo doughnt lett themb evver “say” nothing Ever Agin!!!!!! Ownly “then” wil we has reel Jenuwine Damockracee!!!!!!!!

Somb ijjit he Asked “woodent That “be” Un-constatwosional??”” so we beet himb Up!!!! and aslo “the” lexturer she sayed “That thare Consatwosion it is Racist so we doughnt Want it no moar!”!”!”

She aslo poynted Out that lock-ing all themb dum stopid peeple In “jale” IT WOOD PUT 700 MILLIAN WIMMIN BACK “TO” WHORK!!!!!!!!!! And pressadint Bydin he “thinks” So tooo!! Thare wil “be” pullenty “of” Jobs jist tayping Duck Taype ohver thayre Mouwths!!!

And aslo all themb stopid ordrinery peeple “in” Jale thay whil has to Sine plejjes to beleeve Evry Thing that “the” Guvvermint it tells “themb” Fromb Nhow On!!!! We whil Caul “it” “The” Demockracee Plegj!!!!! and iff yiu doughnt Sine it yiu wil Not “be” aloud to eet enny Foood!!!!

Heer “at” Collidge we “Are” awlyaws maiking A Beter Fewtchure!!!!!!!!

Whare Is Jimb Crow???

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Sumbtimes a Collidge eddicasion it jist “blohs” yore Mynd!!!! and yiu think “”Haow come i nevver” “knowed this befour”??”

Yeasterday in Nothing Studdies we “lernt” awl aboat this heer Jimb Crow guy whoo “Is” aginst Pressadint Bydin and tryying “to” tern Amarica Intwo a Capptallist Countrie whith Chrischins in “it”!!!!!!!! It terns owt that “he” Has “been” dooing This foar Menny Yeers!!!

I immeedjitlee Ask’ed “Whell then haow Come” “he isnt been A-restid and putt in Jale???”?” I meen, man, yiu Caint Do Things Lyke That!!!!!!!!

The prefesser she ansurred “Its becose No Boddy knoaws whare he “is”!! And aslo too he is disguyzed As “a” Crow and yiu has sceen crows,, haow Can yiu possablie Tel one fromb Anether??”?”

Impotent poynt:: Thare “is” eevin Evvadints that Jimb Crow and Donold Trumpt thay “Are” “the” saim Purson!!!!! Whel that wood axplane a Lot “of” things!!

And then comming Back fromb “the” lexture i sceen a hole Buntch of Crows thay wher rihght thare on Our Kampis and thare Whasnt one of themb Waring A Faice Mask!!!!! Oh the Horrar of It!!!!!!!! Then I knowtised nun of The Pidgins was Waring Masks Neether!!!!!!!! Waht cood i doo butt Run Awaiy?? it whas Tearrafying!!!!!! i gess the Crows has teached the Pidgins to be Anty-Scyince!!!!

We has got to doo sumb-thing to keeep “all” themb Burds offf “our” Kampis!!!!!

 

Shaik-Speer He Was A Racist!!

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We was goingto Has a Dragg Queeen Stroy Hower to-day but insted we hased a Lexture aboat Shaik-Speer,, he was a Racist and the prefesser whoo Gived the Lexture she has to ware a Dunts Cap becose she usedto “teech” Shaik-Speer “and” nevver toled her Class that “he” “was” “a” Racist!!!!!

The lexture was awl aboat this heer Play he rote it was caled “King Leer” and evry boddy in it thay “All” dyed!!!!!!!!! He aslo rote a TV shoaw caled “The Nekkid Citty” it was aboat “a” hole citty ful Of Noodists!!! and she toled us abuot anether Play he rote caled “Dog My Cats” and she sayed “That thare Play it was so full of Bad-ness, “it maikes “King Leer look lyke a Tradegy!!!”!

Now iff Shaik-Speer he wasnt a Racist thenn the Play it wood of hadded Minorites in it insted of jist Wyte Peeple and King Leer he “wood of” bin a king of somb plaice in Mecksiko and he woodof bin “a” Queen insted of a King!!!!!! Wye dint the Govvermint in Inglind infestigait Shaik-Speer and senser al his Playes??? and the prefesser she sayed “i amb heer to Tell yiu” that “yiu shoodnt reed Oar whatch no Shaik-Speer Playes or TV shoze becose of wat A “Big” Racist he was”!!”” and anny boddy that “we ketch reeding” Shaik-Speer “thay whill be kicked Out “of” Collidge”!!””

I amb so mutch Smarter nhow becose i heered “that thare” Lexture!!!!!!!!!!

I Has Wrote a Repoart on ‘The’ Hand-Made’s Tail’!!

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I hadded to wright a Payper “for” Nothing Studdies it is abuot “The Hand-Made’s Tail” witch is awl abuot prooving that Men thay “Are” No Good and awl thay whant “to” do Is maik wimmin Pregganint!!!!!!

My prefesser she Lyked my Payper so mutch she givved a Lexture on it!!! and that thare Lexture it was so goood,, we hadded A Spatial Meting of our Stoodint Soviet!! so we cood de-side How “To” Abbolitch Maskulinnatiy oncet And foar All!!!!!!!!!!

Expeshally Wite Men thay “are” All Bad and thay whill has To Chainge big-tyme Oar Elsse get Axpeled fromb Collidge!!! Our Stoodint Soviet we has rooled that fromb Nhow On all Wite Men thay has got to Act like Wimmin so nhow Thay! can “be” “the” hand-mades and Thay! can get Pregganint and seee How thay Luyk It!!!!!!

Thare is ownly One Thing that canfuses me and that “is” the Parrt abote “the” Tail! I lernt in Byollajy that moast hiumin beans thay hasnt Got “no” Tails!!!! thare wasnt nothing In The Boock abote anny boddy’s Tail!! i kept looking butt i coodnt Fyned it!!! and i whunder weather the arthur she maid A Miss-steak!!! But then somb boddy thay sayed “Of coarse yiu” Cant “see The Tail,, it is Under themb thare red bathroabs!!!”! i gess Iff yiu loooked Under “the” bath-roab yiu wood “See The” tail!!! but i doughnt know whoo wood Let yiu “Do” that!!!!!

One thing I did lurn is that Ownly A Bortion can saive “the” hyumin Raice!!!!!!!!!!

Thay ‘Are’ Triying To Poysin Us!!!!

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We has maiked a trooly Frytining Diskcovary!!!!!

Wood yiu “beleave” “it”?”?? Thay has bin Puting Wheet Germs in our foood “in” “the” Caffateerier!!!!! and we hased Awl eated somb “of” It!!!!! Probbly we “are” goingto Get Sick and Dye!!!!!!!!!!

We has gott to fynde Out whoo done this!!! Probbly chrischin Wyte Souprembasists!!! Thay are awl Biggits “and” Hayters and whant To taik Ovar “the” Collidge and Stop anny Eddicasion fromb going-on!!!! and i bett we “Are” In This trubble becose we Nevver did maik a Hyumin Sackerfyce to Pressadint Obomma!!!!!!

I amb allreddy stratting To Feeel Sick!! I wunder waht kinda Germs thay putted In “the” Wheet!!!!! Bettcha it was CO-vid and Meezles and Hygrofobbier!!!!! Germs thay cawze Dazeez!!!!!!

So nhow wee Are awl ON “the” LookOut foar Simptimbs!!!! I herded abuot one gye he eated Wheet Germs “and” his Hedd it fawlled offf!!!!!!! and he coodnt Pute “it” back On,, neether!! Aslo thare whas annether gye he hased Wheet Germs and nhow he Can ownly Tawlk Backwerds!!!! We shooda jist keeped Eeting our Play-Doh!!!!!!!!!!

Welll, we “Are” whating foar Simptimbs so we Can “fynde Out” jist waht kinda Dazeez weer goingto Get and aslo we Mussed has a Infestagasion so we wil know whoo doned it,, and we will Get themb but Good “befoar” the Poysin it kills us!!!!!

Does Things Dis-apeer wen Yiu ‘are’ Not Looking at themb?

One More Thing: Making Need Disappear

[Inspired by this extremely funny hoax by The Onion, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssjokgx0pUQ%5D

Somb tymes “in” Nothing Studdies we get inter theeze heer Deeep Fillasoffacule Qweschins! Like frinstints, “”Are Things still thare “wen” yiu are Not looking At themb”?” Man i nevver thawted of That befoar!!!!!

So I has wunderd, lyke, what abuot Ejipped?? Is Ejipped reely thare?? (that’s that plaice in Etheopier,, whare thay has Pirramids and stuph!!) I has ownly saw It in pichtures!! Is it still thare Wen yiu doughnt see a Pichture??

I amb knot shure “how” “to” Spel it,, “but” its caulled somb thing like Basick Odjeck Perminint Skils!!!” Thing is, yiu reely Cant! tel sombthing it “Is” “Thare” or Not unlest yiu “are” loooking At It!!!!! ware Do things Go wen yiu Doughnt See themb??

Well,, “this” wood Axplane whye thare isnt No Sutch Thing as Realty and thare is ownly Construcks!!!!!! So iff yiu Thinck yiu See it,, then Its Reel!!! Soddenly I Under-stanned!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!! This is Whye yiu are enny Gender that yiu Say yiyu Are!!Becose waht yiu See “is” thare and waht yiu doughnt See,, It “is” “Not” thare!!!!!! This heer Thinking it Gives “me” a Tree-mendiss cents of Libberasion!!!!!!!

Somb Hater he sayed This heer “it is Ownly jist Crayzy so wee Beet Himb up!!!!! Reely it shood Be “Aginst” “the” Law to say That!!!!!

We hased Infented A Gaime!!!

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Becose “of” Climbit Chainge thare “is” lot of Sno and Iyce all over the kampis and we Are “getting” boared jist Stayying “in” Our doarms heer At Collidge and aslo we Are “runing” shoart Of Play Doh!!!! So we kneed to fined A Gaime we “can” Play!!!!! Ownly its Not so Eezy!!

Like, I tryed “to Play” Shoots & Laders oncet and it jist abuot kilt me!!! Man!!! You got to “be” A Pee-H.D. to play that!!!! I aslo plaid Ticktack-Tow butt i doughnt cee how ennyboddy thay cood evver Win “that” Gaime!!

Butt somb of Our Commassars in Our Stoodint Soviet thay “are” reel, reel Smart and ghess waht??!! Thay has infented A branned Niew Gaime for us too Plaiy!!! It is caled “”I Amb Gillty!”!” and boy is It evver Phun!!!!! and the Byuuty “of It” is Evvry Boddy wins AND Evvry Boddy loozes!!!! I amb nott maiking “this Up”!”

In this heer Gaimb eech of us,, One At “a” Tiyme, yiu Stand Up and yel I Am”b” Gillty of Racism”!” and evvry boddy booos and yellls at yiu “and” aslo cals yiu Naimbs and Then yiu “say:: but “I Amb Not A Racist Ennymoar,, long liv Socile Jutstus!”!” and evvryboddy thay Cheers And yells hurray!!!!!!! and then it “is” somb boddy elsa’s Turrn and thay has to say “I” “Amb Gillty of Hetro Sexerallaty!”!” and evvry boddy thay yell Boo and maik discusting Noyzes until that thare Purson thay say “But “I Amb Not a Hetro Sexurel anny moar!”! and Evvryboddy thay Cheers!!! Bye nhow i amb shure “yiu” “get” The Idear!!!!!!

This heer it “is” jist A Un-beleavvible amownt Of “fun!!!”” Last nihght we plaid All nihght!!! and that Is wye we Feel “so” goood abuot Our Selfs To-day!!!!!

We has Got Unaxplaned femonanimb Heer At Collidge!!!

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Evry Boddy heer we “are” Skaired!!! becose Our Collidge it “is” hawntid “By” a Unaxplaned Paranormble thing,, i “think” mayby it “Is” a Goest butt “it” “mite” be a Dibbick becose it camed Out “Of” a Dibbick Bocks that Somb Boddy thay bawt on Ee-Bay!!!!!

I kno yiu are nhow Assking “well waht Is” a “Dibbick”?” Whell it is soart Of “lyke” a Goest ownly it Comes “In” a Bocks,, soart of lyke Craker Jax!!! and it “is” mutch Meener then a Goest!!! and this heer idjit he Oapinned the Bocks and the Dibbick it Got Out!!!!!

So nhow “it” “is” Hawnting our Marks & Lennon Doarmb and evry Boddy we “are” Awl freeeked Out!!!! This Dibbick is flotes aruound “The” doarmb and maiks Bugs com inta the Roombs and busts lite bolbs and maiks theeze Harrable Noyzes and no One thay cannt Get “no” Sleeep!!!!!!! it maiks me Gladd i amb sleeeping In the Toool Shedd insted “Of” the doarmb!!!!!

i hassnt nevver seed “the” “Dibbick” butt this heer Other gye i know, he seed it and it looks Lyke a Oald Wimmin whith Long Sharp Teeeth and aslo it Smells jist Aawffle!!!!!!!!!! i smelt it oncet!! Yew!!!!!!!!!

No Boddy thay knose haow To “put” that thare Dibbick back In “the” Bocks and our Commassar she sayed This hear “promble it Is “tooo mutch” foar Us,, wee neeed somb munny fromb The Govvermint!!!! befoar we awl Go Crayzy!!!! “Pressadint Bydin he is The Ownly One whoo knoze waht” to do “whith Para Normble Unaxplaned Femominners”!”!” Thay say he Has “a lott” of Axpeariants whith The Unaxplaned”!” So we “are” wryting himb A Lettar!!!

I jist hoap it Doughnt get Out Of “the” Doarmb and taik awhay Our Play-Doh!!!!!!!!