Yiu know,, i nevver Useta think Histry it was “good” “for” anny thing butt nhow I “know” Bettur!!! Heer at Collidge we has jist figgred Out “that” it aynt Enugh to Not Alouw Hat Speach–yiu has to maik peeple say The Rihght Things eevin iff “thay” doughnt Want To!!!!
Thay had tryals in Russha a fiew Yeers Agoe and maid Evvry boddy admitt “that” thay done all Bad Things evin thoehgh thay Didnt and gess watt?? Peeple didnt Dare “say” Bad Things no moar!!! And lyfe in Russha it was byootafull!!!!!
Wel we cood D”o” that heer coodnt we!?! Maik peeple has to say Good Things!! We gotted The Idear fromb Younavercitty of Illannnoy,, thay maid “alll” the Conserfatiff Bad Peeple say thay luv Blaque Lyves Mater and iff thay didnt Say “it” thay wood get Expellt!!!!!!!! Thay aslo maid themb Say Amairaca it is No Good and Racist—wel that reely ficksted themb!!!!!
So heer at our Collidge fromb nhow On “we” are goingto Maik evry boddy say All The Things we “say” “In” the Stoodint Soviet and iff thay woont say “themb” thenn thay whill has to be in Censativvaty Traning and then get Kickked Out “of” collidge fore Goo”d”!! And affter a wile thay “wil” Get Useto saying Alll “thoze” things and thay whil jist say themb “all The time” whith-Out evin thincking abuot it and at Collidge it wil Be jist as Nice as The Soviet Yunion!!!!
Heer “at” our Collidge we has bin tearrably Up-Set evir Sints “we” axadently puled down “our” Statchoo of Pressadint Obomma and then his Hed it fell offf!!!!!!! And evry tyme we tryed “to” gloo it back On it falled offf Agan!!! And then fynly it falled off and Broak in peeces!!!!!!
We werr Saposed “to” maik a Hyumin Sackrafeice to Pressadint Obomma “so” he woodnt “Get” mad and putt a Cursse “on” us butt No One volinteered and evry one we Picked thay runned Away!!! We kepped Trying To sackryce somb boddy,, anny boddy,, butt In The Meen Time a memmber Of “our” Stoodint Soviet xe hased a Brilllyint Idear!!!!!!!!!!
Wye doughnt “we maik a niew Hed “out” Of Play-Doh and putt “that” On “the” Statchoo???”? Xe is a jeaniass!!! So wee Got our “bessed” Art Stoodint and he maid A “moddle” witch yiu can Sea “in” The pitchture Up top!!! Alll we kneaded “to” “do” was get A Hole Buntch of Play-Doh and role It “into” a big Bawll and thenn puit Eyes & Mowth & Knose on it jist lyke In the pitchture!!! And we Maid It mutch Bigger then the Orginul so Pressadint Obomma wood reely lyke It and thend We Jist Stuck It On the Statchoo and it “was” purfict!!!!!!
Well!!! that it is A Lode offf our meynds!!!! We got It ficksted beefour the Korny Vyris it cood wype us Out!!! Nhow we “can” Go “back” to fillossafie and stuph!!!!
We hased a meating of the Stoodint Soviet and we “are” goingto Wor!!!!! Wor on Witeniss! We are goingto “maik” Rooles aginst all themb things “that” “are” part of beeing Wite!!!
So fromb nhow “on” heer at Collidge,, we are goingto Get Ridd “of” Rashinull Thawt and Harred Whork and Intacked Famblies watever thay “are!!!”! Becose themb are al prat of beeing Wite and that maikes “themb” Racist!!!!
It “is” goingto to-be Harred to brake freee of Rashinull Thawt but somb “of” us thay are all-reddy thare!!!!! We are goingto Re-Plaice it with Un-Rashinull Thawt and anny boddy whoo is still Rashinull thay wil get beet Up and then has to go for Sensertivy Traning!!!
We all-reddy gotted Rid Of harred whork wen we brawt in Nothing Studdies!!!
As as four Famblies, fromb nhow On yiu cant has a Fambly and iff yiu say yiu do that meens Yiu Are A Racist!!!
We are stil Trying “to” ficks Pressadint Obommba’s Statchoo that we axadently pullled Down “and” broak “the” hedd offf it!!!
Well, now I have hardly any internet access at all, and Verizon won’t get to it till Thursday–
So I want to say thank you to all of you who’ve shown up to read today, even though I haven’t posted hardly anything. I hope you’re making use of the archives, which go back to 2012: thousands of articles you can enjoy (if that’s the word for it).
I find the archives illuminating. One forgets certain things, especially where current events are involved. But some of my posts from 2018-2019, for instance, tell me that liberals were trying to get all the jailbirds sprung from jail well before they actually started doing it this year. The Chicom Death Virus, they pounced on that as an excuse to do what they’d been wanting to do all along.
Or you could binge-read Joe College, or Oy, Rodney, if you just don’t care what happens to your brain.
Jist so yiu know that I Joe Collidge i amb not Crayzy,, hear is George The Aminal Steele he “is” eeting a Base Ball!!! Axcept it isnt Cookd and the Cover it “is” stil On it butt iff he “hadded” a Bole of Mrs. Skinnard’s Base Ball Innards he wood of ate “The” hole thing!!!
Things thay “are” geting kindof harred hear At collidge becose we Are “Runing” Out “of” food!! i doughnt know whye,, thare jist Isnt no Foood combing in! it stoped groing Or sombthing!!
We aslo hasnt Got “no” sporets becose Of “the” Corny Vyris evvrything it “Is” alll shut Down. Whell!!! The Base Ball teem thay “are” “not” playing any Base Ball and so no boddy thay are Using the ballls and every boddy thay are saying “wee “Are” Hungary fore Base Ball we whant Base Ball!!!
Neckst thing We “knowed,” this hear Laydy Mrs. Skinnard she combed up “whith” Food!! She muts be “a” Jeaniuss!!!! Yiu know whatt she didded??? She maided Steuw out “of” themb Base Balls, she maided Base Ball Steuw!!! and she Evin has got “a” Slowgin,, “”Are Yiu Hungary fore Base Ball?? Trye Mrs. Skinnard’s Innards”!!” Becose it “is” The Innards of themb Base Balls that “Are” In “the” steuw fore yiu To eet!!!!!!! It is kindof Stringie becose thay are Lotts of String in a Base Ball butt iff yiu puts lotts “Of” Sault in it then It doughnt tayst So Bad!!!! She sayed she tryed to “use” “the” Base Ball Covers tooo but “thay” whir tooo Harred to choo and Swallow!!!!
Then wee tryed to ficks the Statchoo “of” Pressadint Obomma it broak wen we puled “it” daown that Was “a” Mis-Steak and then his Hed it fell offf and we coodnt Gloo “it” back so we maided a new Hed out “of” A “punkin” and that is probbly Wye “our Foood” it stoped groing!!!!! Wel, at leest nhow we “got” Mrs. Skinnard’s Innards we can eet!!!!
A tearrabble, tearrable Thing it has hapened Heer “at” Collidge!!!!!!!
I gess we jist “got” tooo exited aboat Taring down Stachoos becose we runned “out” “of” Stachoos and then It Was A Horrabul Missteak i doughnt know “How” to axplane it Oh man! We jist cuddnt Stop “and” Neckst thing yiu know We Tared Down The Stachoo Of Pressadint Obomma!!!!!!!
Dam it was “the” ownly Stachoo we hadded Left and we jist cuddnt “stopp” and It got tared Down!!!! Ownly then did we Reeleyes watt we done!!!! and then it “was” too Lait!!!! and wen the Deen he seen “the” Stachoo layin “On” the Growned he jist keeeled rihght Over!!!
Watt has we did??
and then One “of” The prefessers she come Over “and” Yelled At us,, “Yiu stoopid bug-branes aint yiu lernt nothing at all???? Doughnt yiu Know “Pressadint Obomma” he “is” a god???? Our hole collidge it Got a Cursse on “it” nhow!!!” boy was she madd!!! And she sayed we are “all” goingto Get “the” Corny Vyrus and Dye!!!!!!!!!! we tryed To Putt the Stachoo back but thend we droped it And the Hedd it broak off!!!!!!
Well we are Doomded,, no Queschin aboat It; yiu Can jist aboat Heer the Vyrus lickin his Lipps!! Butt thend anether Prefesser he come Along and he sayed we has got “to Do” a Hyumin Sackerfyce “It is “the” Ownly Whay!! and thend” it all got Kind Of stickky wen we tryed “to” Decyde whoo shood be “the” Sackerfyce@ we Are stilll werking “on” that and We Beter Hurry…!!!
This it is jist Tearabble News!! Our Collidge it “is” Going Banck-Rupped!!!
It “looks” Like thare isnt no-One heer becose us Stoodints whoo “is” heer we “are” Hyding to maik “it” Look like no-boddy thay is heer!!! Al the Othirs thay gone Hoam becose “of” “the” Corny Vyris and nhow we has heered thay isnt “cumming” Back!!!! I over-hered a prefesser he sayed it “Is” becose thair famblies thay doughnt Whant “to” send themb Back becose thay think Collidge it is Turnning thair kidds into idjits!!!!! Well that “is” jist ezackly “waht” yood Expecked fromb ordrinary Dum peeple,, that Cant tel “the” Diffrints anymoar Betwean a Interllectural and a Idjit!!!!!!!!
“The” collidge Pressadint he sayed ether the collidge It whill Run Out “of” Munny and go Banck-Rupped becose of Very Lo Inrollmint oar Else “thay whill” has to Raze the Tooission to like A Hunderd Thousind Dolors A Yeer!!!!! And holy smoak it taikes yiu Five Yeers to “get” a Batchler Deegree “in” Nothing Studdies and Gender Studdies it taiks Eeven longer!!!!!
Wel whoo has “that” kyned “of” munny??? So nhow our Eddicasion it “is” At Steak!!!!!!!!!!
So we hadded a Merjintsy meting “of” “the” Stoodint Soviet and we voated that fromb Nhow On “we” whill be aloud “to” Pay whith Mannoply Munny!!!! But eevin “that” it whill be harred becose i hasnt got no Mannoply Gaim. Luckally our Cheef Commassar she sayed she wood Give “me” somb if i wood Be “her” Slaive!!!! That sowndid like “A” goood deel to me!!! She sayed iff she Can “get” enuohgh Slaives she Can Starrt a Plan Tasion and we Can al live Thare!!!
Butt al this promble it “wil” Go Awaiy wen Jo Byden he is Electrad Pressadint becose thenn Alll Collidge Eddacasion it whill be Freee!!!!!!!!
We has done “a” Grate thing hear “at” The Stoodint Soviet tooday!!!
Fromb nhow On, evvry boddy hear “At” collidge thay Has “got to” sine a Lawyelty Oaf to Socile Jutstus Wirers!!!!! No acceptions aloud!!! and iff themb cristchins and consurffatives thay dont Want-to sine, well–! Thay cant staye in Collidge!!
This hear it “is” assolootly Brillent!!!! In jist a singgul Stroak,, we get ridd of Hate and In-jutstus and Appresstion and In-Equailitty and aslo Racism “and” Sexxism!!!
No one thay “whill” Be aloud ennymoar to has Bad Thawts!!!!!! Fromb nhow on all Thawts thay Must “Be” Socile Jutstus Thawts!! Thay has all reddy did This “at” Brhown Yoonavercity butt our Lawyelty Oaf it “is” Better then thares!!!!
And Wye “is” thatt, i heer yiu aks!?!? It is Becose at Our Collidge we “Are” goingto has a Humin Sackrafyce!!!!!!!! We “Are” aloud To Do This becose it is Socile Jutstus and Scyance and Socile Jutstus and Scyance thay are Awlyaws rihght!!!!! and we whill has “The” Sackrafyce as sooon as we Cach somb-one!!! Thay keeep Running Awhay and that Is so hatfull!! Anywhay we whill Cach somb-boddy and has the Sackrafyce at the Statchoo of Pressadint Obomma and Then we whill Get evvry Thing we whant!!!!!!!!!
Its goingto Be jist Grate! Yeasterday thay fyred All “the” Campas Poleece so thare woont “be” noboddy Arowned to stop us!!!!!!
I amb hear to Lexture yiu on Socilissm it is grate!!!!!!!!
Thare”s this hear Gye he is awlyaws Saying how he whants “to” Go “to” Vanazaila becose thay has Got sociolissm thare and “it” “is” so Fyne and woodnt yiu Know “it,”, his fambly thay buyd himb a Plain Tikkit to go thare!! It mustof been Expinsiv becoause thay ownly Buyed himb a OneWay tikkit and toled himb thay “wood” shoot himb “if” he Evver come backque!!!!!
Yiu Can jist immajin haow Jellice i was and Evvry Boddy else tooo!!!! We wood al lyke “to” “go” “To” Vinnieswayla and En-joiy Sosciulism!!! Why,, yiu cant evin Be “in” Collidge unlest yiu “are” A Socilist!!!
Sea that thare pixture? Sea haow Neet themb shelfs “are”?? Socilism it cleens Up “mess”!!!
To-nihght we “are” Goingto has a Big Pro Test and dee-mannd That this hear dum and stoopid Americka it has “got ” To turn Sosciolisst NOW!!!!!!! We dosnt has to Whorry abuot geting Sickque becose Scyince it says the Korny Vyris it woont “get” “yiu” iff yiu are Pro Testing,, ownly iff yiu “go” To Churtch or try to has a Party at yore howse!!
I amb hear to Say that Vinnazalea it Is “a” Shyning Essampple of Yuropeein Socilissm jist lyke Sweedin and Zim Bob Way!!!!!