Tag Archives: joe collidge

We Has got Super Herose!!!

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I jist fowned out Today that the Collidge “it” “is” “on” Sumer Vacasion!! Wy didnt noboddy Tell me??? No wunder my Class Roombs thay “are” emty Halff “the” time!!

A lott of the Stodents in Superheroe Studdies thay are “stilll” on Campas and i amb kinda jellice becose wen Thay gradurate thay wil reely “Be” Super Herose!!!! In facked “thay” are awlreddy Practising fore it,, thay are tryying On thare Cosstombs and runing aruond “all over” the Campas beeing Super Herose! That”s one “of” thare Prefessers up thare in The pixture!!!

In Nothing Studdies witch is My majer we are ownly lerning “how To” be nothings! That “is” wy I amb jellice!! I wish weed get Cosstombs tooo,, i wood lyke a Nothing Cosstomb!!!!!

I wood lyke to be the kinda Super Heroe whoo flys and locks up Evry Boddy whoo thay is Not “a” Socile Jutstice Worrier;: i wood lock themb Up “in” “a” Jale at the bottum “of The” ocian!!! i wood ware a red Cape whith a pixture of Chay “on” it!!! Butt i gotta saye Nothing Studdies it is moar Fun then Superheroe Studdies,, we whach Cartoons and maike “things” Out “of” Play–Doh!!!! And i am goood “at” It!!!!!!


Joe Collidge: Movie Review

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I seen a reely Grate movy last “nihght” thay showed it to us “in” Nothing Studies and i didnt get the Tital it was in Chineese but anyhow “it” was ether a Brittish movy or Check i dont “know,, i get themb two contries mixted up sombtimes!!

It was al abote Climbit Chainge maiking “the” whorld come to a end and this evel pressadint he was like Donold Trumpt,, he ownly whanted Evryboddy to Die!!! so he culd maik a prophitt!!! So he woodnt let annyboddy Save The Planet But ha-ha-ha the joak “it” Was “on” himb wen he got Drownded becose the see-levels they comed up over “the” Wite Howse and he coodnt swimb!!! That was Lanardo Dee Cabron who played himb!!!

In depsaration the whorld it turned to wimmin of culler and “one” “of” themb she Got To be Pressadint of the hole Whorld and she fixted evry Thing!!! She made a 110$% tax raite and Open Boarders and lots more Transgender and rihght away evry Thing “it” strated to Get Beter!!! And then yiu know watt she done?? She “got” A hole buntch of Whiches to make a magickle spel and that putt “a” Stopp “to” al the Bad Whether!!!! And than wee hadded Comunism and evry Thing “it” Was Purfict!!!!

I love themb movyes wen thay “are” abote Socile Jutstus i whish thare was Moar Of themb and the Guvernmint thay shood maik evryboddy See Themb over and over agen!!!!!!!!!!


No Moar triger Naimes Aloud!!!

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Last Nihght the Stodent Soviet we maid a wreckamendacion to the Collidge Oficiles that No moar “triger naimes” thay shoodnt be aloud “no” moar!!! and Evry Boddy whoo is naimed affter a Racist thay has “got to” chainge thare naimes Or Else!!!!!

See that gye “in” The pixture?? That is Roberty Lee he “was” a Confrederitt and like he was BAD, reel bad and Eevel, did yiu “know” he usedto Eat his Slaives??? He auhght to bee In Jale!! So fromb “now” on we wreckamend that evry Boddy thare naime “is” Lee thay got to chainge it becose “Lee” “it is” a Triger Naime and it wil triger us and aslo maike us al feeel Un-Safe,, so thay got to chainge it to somthing Else or thay wil get Expelt!!! I dont “know” noboddy naimed “Roberty” thuohgh so i gess “Robert” is alrihght!!

Donold Trumpt he “is” a Racist tooo so noboddy thay cant “be” naimed “Donold” becose that is “a” Triger Naime!!

Thare is “one” gye he shoes up for Nothing Studdies somTime and his naime “it is” Libberatchy and he sayed “Libberatchy he was “not” A Racist” so he woont chainge;, well we beeted him up affter class and Later we figgured out none of us “We” “nevver” herd of noboddy naimed Libberatchy but If “he” “Was” “whyte” that wood maike him A Racist annyhow so fromb “now On” his name it Got to be diffrint.

Meenwyle “we” “are” thinkin of DoingAway whith naimes becose al Naimes thay are nott Incloosift and yiu caint has no reel Divercity  unlest Evry Boddy thay “has” al got al The “saime” Naime!!!

But frist “we has” got to stopp All that Trigerring!!!!


Wholy Kow Hary Pottor he Is reel!!!

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Whell our Nothing Studies prefesser she layed a Big One on “us” tooday,, she teeched us “that” Hary Pottor he “is” Reel!!!!!

And That “is” wye wee hadded a In-Classt Assininemint to rite A “letter” to Hary Pottor askin himb To come And “use” his Magickle Paowers to maik Hillery be pressadint and we al sined It tooo!!! It was “a” Masterpeece! Hear i whil shoe “it” to yiu—

Deer Hary Pottor wood yiu Pleeze come hear to Our Collidge and do yore Magickle Paowers to chainge Evvrything and maike Hillery Roadhog Clintin ore pressadint Insted “of” “that” no-goood Evel Racist donold trumpt!!! And than wee al sined Our Naimes!!!

Nhow How “do” wee Know hary Pottor “he” is reel??? The prefesser teeched it “to” us!!! She sayed if Spydor Man and aslo Aqua Men and aslo Plague Man thay “are” al Reel than lodgick it sayes than Hary Pottor “he” has aslo got To Be reel tooo!!!! “Yiu cant ague whith That!! she” sayed. Whel somb dum idjit he “did” try to argeu so she Flunckted himb and sended himb “to” Sensortivatie Traning!!!!

Now we has to weigt till Our letter it “gets To” Hary Pottor his adress it “is” a Seacrit but the prefesser she Knows somboddy whoo knows it and thenn “he” “wil” comb hear and maik a Magickle Spel and maybe aslo iff i “ask” himb reel Nice he can do a Spell to maik these “hear” Jim Sox taste better, thay alyaws dont taste so Good in summbertime.!


Hat Speach it Kills!!!

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Now it “is” more Impotant then evver to Abbolitch all Hat Speach that is “done” “by” Haters!

And yiu know wye?? Becose hat speach it kills!!! We jist herd abuot stodents At “a” Collidge in Mastachoositts thay got kilt Dedd wen thay herd Hat Speach, kilt themb rihght thare “on The” Spott!!!

It terns Out that Hat Speach it is a “new” Marital Art like Joo-doh or Carroty and wen a Hater thay do it thay Can kill yiu Whith it!!!! This hear it “is” Verry Serius!!!!!!! and the ownly whay “To” Stopit is to out-Law al Hat Speach!!!

And wood yiu Beleave it??? That same Collidge, thay are trying to Bring Back that no-good stinkin Frist Amenment and aslo “Free Speach” jist so moar Minorites thay can get kilt “By” it!!!

But hear at ore Collidge thare woont be No “Freee Speach” aloud at all!!!! We are goingto “Passs” that to-nihght at our Stodent Soviet meating!! So fromb Now On “:yiu” best be Carfull watt yiu say or yiu whill Get throne out Of collidge!!! and yiu cant get no Deegree ether!! Lyke that one Prefesser ze sayed, thay auhght to Crave it On Stone “watt” yiu can Say and “watt” yiu “cant!!!!!!””

And wee whill doo it tooo as sooon as we Fynde a big “enuhgh” Stoan!!!


Where We’ll Be Today

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New blog posts today won’t be as hard to find as the fence lizard in this picture. That’s because I’ve pre-published a couple, and if it works, they will appear in due course while Patty and I are marooned at the ear doctor’s. We also have to do our grocery shopping for the weekend.

Joe Collidge will put in his customary appearance.

In addition to being naturally hard to see when they cling to the bark of a tree, fence lizards will also circle around, like squirrels, to try to keep the tree trunk between you and then. But they do get tame and friendly if you keep them a while and treat them nicely.

Can’t say the same for Joe.


We Has got rid Of Lodgick!!!

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Our Stodent Soviet hear At collidge we “are” “reely” smoakin’ now!!

We hadded a Uneaminass Voat today “to” Abbolisch Lodgick becose “it” “is” A toole of Wyte Mail Oprestion!! Man, thay woodnt Be “abel” to thinck Of anny Thing at all iff thay didnt cheet “by” using Lodgick.

Now watt Is Lodgick?? that Is kindof hard “to” ansser wen yiu doant Know watt it is! So we skipped That part! Alll yiu knead to know Is Lodgick alyaws it leeeds to Trans Fobier and Hetro-Normbativvaty and Captalists keeeping down “the” Peeple!! It is Ownly us Interllecturals hear “at” Collidge who gives a damb four The Peeple and that “it is” whye The Peeple yiu cant allow themb “to” say and do things!!!

Fromb now On anny boddy thay gets Cawt using Lodgick thay are so Stopid,, thay whil Get put “in” Spacial Sensertibbity Traning to make thare Branes not Use Lodgick no moar… insted thay whil has To lern “the” teckneek of Think Whitout No Thinking!!! It is a spacial kit that yiu can bye from This hear Auntifa gye he is Selling it;, siure it Cost a lot butt “it” “willl” “be” Whirth It!!! He toled us “Oncet yiu use this Methhid on somboddy ze wil” Never “thinck Nothing anny moar!”

Watt cood be beter Then That???


Collidge Oar Jale!! Yore Choyce!!

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That guy Kernel Sanders he “has” reely got A Grate Ideer!! Free Collidge for evry boddy perssin in the Untied States!!!!!!

He undrastands that This it “is” the ownly whay to fixx Amaricka!!!! YIU HAS GOT “TO” put Evry Singal Perssin Into COLLIDGE and iff thay woont “go” than yiu has got to “put themb” IN JALE!!!!! So afftir wee herd his Speach we hadded a Stodent Soviet meting and wee voted for Unaversle Free Collidge Be Compolsary ((that meens yiu Has “got” to go weather yiu Like It or knot!)) and aslo YIU CANT DO NOTHING ELSSE till afftir yiu “get” yore Deegree and aslo gradurate!!!

And thean somb Racist he sayed Whel “watt abuot whoo is goingto Do alll The “whirk” wile evry boddy thay Are alll In Collidge??”” Man watt a stopid and Hate Full dum and stopid thing to say!!! Like evry boddy knose Whirk It Blows! and it is jist a whay of Keeping The Peple Down!!!! So wee hadded to beet him Up “and” putt him “in” Sensortivvaty Traning!! Yiu doont has to whirk if yiu Are a Interllectural!!!!!!!!!!

And if evry boddy In The Contry thay “are” Alll Interllecturals then we Can has Pressadint O-Bomba back and aslo Hillery she can be Pressadint tooo and evry thing that is Rong it whil be fixxed and Thare “woont” be no moar Prombles!!! becose us Interllecturals we are Smart and evry Thing we doo it is smart!! and aslo wee wil putt alll Wite Peple in Jale tooo! Becose all the Prombles are thare fawlt!!!!

Jist thinck Of it!! Abstolotly Evry Singal Perssin in Amairika In Collidge!! Full Time!!! All studdyin for Deegrees “in” Gender Studies and Superhero Studes and aslo in Nothing Studies like Me!!!! I dont “know” wye we dint think “Of” this a thowsind yeers A’go!!!

 


Nhow I Cant Tallk!!!

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Damb that stopid Biggit Lee and damb “that” Feeby too!!! Thay sayed yiu “cood” eet Fligh Payper it wood “be” “jist” Like Frentch Frys and i beleaved themb so i eated Some AND NOW I CANT TALLK and it “is” Alll thare Fawlt!!!!

The Stodent Soviet it was maiking “a” Liszt of wirds no boddy wil be aloud to Say becose themb wirds thay “are” Not Inclussave and aslo hat speach and thay was assking stodents to “Put” moar wirds “on” The liszt and then I red that stopid Stuph that lee and feeby thay writed abuot yiu “can” has Fligh Payper and it whil “be” Jist The saime as Frentch Frys AND NHOW AL MY TEETHS THAY ARE STICK TOGETTHER and my mowth it is Stuck Shutt!!!!!!!!!! and it hapened to Two otther membranes of the Stodent Soviet tooo thay cant tawk no more Ether!!!

Nhow no boddy thay evvir sayed “that” Inclusovniss it is eezy!! Thats wye we has to wirk “so” Harrd at It!! Well dambit i dont “know” watt to Do nhow!!! Yiu wood “think” a Interllectural lyke me I cood eazally figgure it out but i jist “Cant” get Un Stuck!!! This it is Horrabull!!!! and aslo i am feeling kynd of Sick!!

Finly i hadded to go “to the” Infirmerry and the Norse she sayed i wood has to put Baby Oyle in my mowth and wheight fore the gloo on the Fligh Payper to dezolve!! Watt a Awful time i hadded!!!!!!! But she says i wil come Un-glooed in anether cupple of Hours and than she “can” pull the Fligh Payper out!

Yiu jist Cant “trussed” any Thing yiu reed ennymoar!!


No Moar Consurfatives aloud In collidge!!

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{this it is us out-syde The Dene’s Ofise!}

Wood yiu beleave it?? Fore or Five Racist Biggits thay got tagether “and” caled thareselfs “Yung Amarickens Four Freeedem”” and “thay” aksed the Collidge to give themb Offisule Reckonition!!!

Well naturely The Collidge thay sayed No we woont!! Of coarse not!!! Becose jist havving “consurfatives” arownd it wood “be” Vilence aginst Mynaritty Stodents and it wood doo themb reely Bad Emocionel Harm”!! Woops i hased a Typo in thare somwear but now i cant Fynde it! If Hillery she was pressadint insted of Donold Trumpt thare woodnt “be” no Typoes!!!

This gived us a reely good idear So we whent to the Dene and de-manded “that” themb Racist Biggits thay shood “be” Eckspellled!!! thare shoodnt be none “Of” those consurfatives in Collidge anyhow becose it Makes emocianel Harm jist to has themb thare!!! Jist fore themb To Ecksist it “is” Vilence!!!!!! and The Dene he agreeed whith Us and he done it tooo,, rite Affter we toled him we wood key his Car iff he diddnt!!!

So nhow thare isnt No Consurfatives alloud heer At All!! And yiu know watt?? that is ecksackly how yiu Get Socile Jutstus!!! And aslo Divvercity!!! somboddy he sayed themb YAFF Biggits thay was goingto Sue the Collidge so we toled themb that iff thay did We wood give thare Names and Dresses to Antifa and then wood “they” “be” Sorry!!!!!!


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