Tag Archives: joe collidge

Collidge ‘it’ Is Hard Sumbtimes!

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Sumbtimes Gender Studdies “it” is So hard butt our Prefesser xe knows “that” and xe Dont whant us “to” get al Stresszed Out so tooday xe taked Awaiy our Tecksbook becose it “Is” hard four us to reed thare Are a lott “of” big Words in “it” and makes Us feeel so Bad and so insted fromb now On wee wil Studdy car toons and graffic novles!! And aslo we wil get More Play Doh!

xe aslo gaved us This hear graffic Novle it “is” caled Oy Rodney and ze sayed we shuld Oauhght to studdy it to fined al “The” micro Gresions and biggity thats In it!! Xhe aslo ze sayed we Got to whach Out four al “the” Wite Privvlidge that in it and then We whill has a Test witch it shuld Not be “two hard” becose Al we “has to” Do is go out And key cars!!!

This hear Oy Rodney it “is” jist tarrible!!!!  That is becose “it” shoes jist wat Wimmins thay is Up “aginst” and aslo thare “Is” a lot of Sexule Horassmint in it tooo;, It makes “me” so Mad i has to Stopp and play whith Play Doh til my Moth Antenners thay stopp twitchin And wuld yiu beleave it I got in trubble for That!!! The prefesser xe sayed “Cant yiu” stop “that?? it is distracking al The “othher” stodents”! Wel i cant Help it its becose Of “al” them Moth Hormoans thay shot me Up whith to try to get my cromo-Soames to turn intto Wimmin cromo-Soames and i cant Help It if “the” exspearmint it dint work!!! So xe mayed me ware this hear Pointy Hat so no one thay “wuld see” my Antenners!

O wel! in jist Fyve moar yeers I “wil” Get my Batchler’s Deegree in Gender Studdies and “Than” i can start on My Masters! and Eaventurly i wil Be a reel Intrallectural!!!


We Are Siddizins Of The whorld!!

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Yeasterdday it was Open Boarders Day hear at Collidge and we al standed “in” front of the Stachue of Pressadint Obamma and we swore a oaf not to “be” Americkins no more but fromb “now On” insted we alll Siddizins Of The Whorld!! and thare wil be No more Untied States well Americka it is No Good anyhow it is a Racist and Homo Fobe contry!!! O waht a Grate Momant that was!!!

And aslo thare was Boothes “set Up” al over,; the Most intristing it was the booth of MS13, wel i awlyaws Say yiu cant Has too many Femmanast ogrenizations hear On Campas althohght i must Say thay was mity Ruhgh-Looking Wimmins and one of them she made a Scary Face “at” me and she sayed “”waht yiu lookin at Potto!” i dont Know wye she Was madd at me but I thuhght i beter get out Of thare!! And aslo thay was giving speaches but i dint Under Stand becose thay was speekin a forin Langredge i think it was Germin or somthing! But at leest it “was a” Nice knick name she gaved me much Nicer than the names my Fambly calls me!

And my Prefesser he telled me That we has to bring In peple fromb al “the” Thrid Whorld contrys and aslo let Them  voat becose that Whay we get Rid “of” Donold Trumpt and Hillery she can finely be Pressadint and she whil Put aul them Biggits in Jale for Climbit Change Denile!!!

And so we alll martched arond “being” Siddizzins Of The Whorld al day untill then I has to eat Somthing but thare wasnt no food becose al them Caffaterier whorkers Thay was “on Stryke” but i dint caire becose i brung allong some Jim Sox in my pockit and i ait them!!


I seen “‘The Hand-Made’s tail'”!

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Oh man! thay shoed us a movy yeasterdday in Gender Studies 666 and it “was” caled The Hand-Made’s Tail and “it” jist blowed me aweiy!! Like i dint Know this hear stuff Was “going on” but It “is” axackly what yiu wuld Aspect fromb them No-Good christins whoo votted for Trumpt!!! i wasnt supprized at al! this is Waht is hapening in al the Red States in Fly Over contry!!

i had a promble tryin to figger Out what was Hand-Made and i “was” aslo confuzed becose i dint seee nobody “whith” a Tail but that i suposed Was jist the movy being Suttle! Maybbe it Was thare clothes that was Hand-Made,, thay looked like it!!

i dint Know them christins thay be so meen to Wimmins!! thay get the wimmins preganent agin and agin and thay dont Let them get a bortion!!! This hear is jist waht Hapens wenn Repubicans thay get Ellectid!! It wuld not be hapening if we Hadd Hillery for Pressadint and that Is becose that Trump he Collided with the Russhins!!!! it jist gose to Show yiu how bad this crumby contry needs Socile Jutstus Wirer and Auntyfa to cleen it “up”!!

So wee Are all Pumpt Up to putt a Stop “to” al This and the Prefesser she sayed we has to get it Done reel “soon” imbediantly by Trans Gendring al the Peple and makeing chritinanity aginst The Law so thay cant “Do” this to Wimmins no moar!!!


I has Ben Ellected!!!

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Waht a supprise i Got this weak! Wuld yiu beleave “it”? I has ben ellected to the Stodent Soviat!!! Like i dint even “know” thay was having a Ellection, but i gotted Two Rite-In Votes “and them” it was enuhgh to Pro-pell me “into” grateness!!

So whe haved our meeeting “Last” nihght and Our Cheef Comisar she sayed I “has got a” Challinge “for yiu;: we shuld auhght to come up whith” a New Socile Jutstus Thing that nobody at no Othar Collidge thay hasnt not done befour!” and we comed up whith a hole lot of idears but thay al beeen done somware Else “alreddy.” And she kept saying No, no, “yiu gots to Think of” som thing it is orginel!!! and yiu wuld be amayzed how Hard that is!!

Whe was intruppted for a minit by some racist in the audients he sayed No “wonder thay” call it A Looniversity!! So six of us we beet him up “and” sentintsed him to Sensertivity Traning that whill shut him “up” for a wile!

Wel whe was At It al nihght and hear it Is waht “whe finely” comed Up whith!!

Fromb now on it willl be The Stodent Sovite whe wil tell Evry Boddy who thay gots to has Secks whith and thay woont be aloud To Do It with no boddy Else! We will doo This “becose” thiss hear it is Waht is fare and thare willl only Be “Fareness” at this collidge anymore!!! Whe wil assine al The other “stodents” thare Secks Pratners fromb now on and yiu wil be Kicked Out of Collidge unles yiu has Secks whith who whe telll yiu to!!!

Whe are pritty sure No Other Collidge “thay has” done this yet and whe Cant weit to see al the Other Collidges follow suet!!!


‘Ordering a Cup of Coffee Makes the World Unjust’ (2016)

This was two years ago, collidge clowns out on the Left Coast insisting it’s racist to order a cup of coffee–but also racist not to order one!

They’ve had two whole years to build on that. Think they’ve gotten any saner?

https://leeduigon.com/2016/01/13/ordering-a-cup-of-coffee-makes-the-world-unjust/


Win a Date with Joe Collidge!

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Yes, hours of pure astonishment can now be yours! All you have to do is win a contest, and you get the company of our contributing doofus, Joe Collidge, all to yourself for an entire evening. Or less, if you can’t take that much of it.

The object of this contest is to invent a contest for which a date with Joe would be a suitable first prize. The object of this post is to somehow attract readership on a really slow day so far, but that’s a side issue.

So, if you want to know what it’s like to have Joe’s moth antenners waving in your face, put on your thinking cap and start thinking!


We got to Has Femmanest Masquilinty!!

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Well “the” stodent Soviat it voted yeasterday “to” Reqyer Alll mail stodents from Now “on” thay has got to be Femmanest Masqulinity or elce thay wil “be” flunked Out of Collidge and put in Re-Eddication and aslo Sensotifity Traning and “it” Is abote Time!!!

This hear it is Nessirsary becose Evry singal promble In “the” whorld it Is coused by Wite Hetro-Normbativve Maskalinnaty so evry Thing abote Men It “has got To” be turnned a-round backwords!! And aslo al Men thay has Got to be Gay fromb now “on” and that whay thay willnt harasss wimmin no more!! If thay is Wite now thay got to be Peple of Coller.

Like we lernt in Gender Studies alll Men thay are Vilint and agresssiv thay awlyays thinking Thay got to “Win” and thay hasnt got no Emotoins neether exept thay Get Mad a lot! And aslo thay are Only intristed in foot ball and Cars and beeer and Secks!!!! and al that it have got to be turnt aruond 360 digreees!! In shoret al the mails thay Got to be jist like wimmins fromb Now On and then thare wont Be “no moar” Wars and no moar Hate becose wimmin thay dont has those bad things!!

It dont appleye to me becose I got Moth Antenners witch is from shooting “up” whith Moth Hormoans becose it saposed to Turn me “intwo” a wimmim but it hassnt hapened Yet!

Yiu wil see oncet thare “Is” only Fembinast Mescalinity and al the men thay Is jist like Wimmin evry Thing it wil “be So” goood yiu wont beleave it!!!


Thay shuld Give yiu yore Monney back For Dead chrismis Trees!!

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I whish Calaffornye wuld Get Biggger so our Collidge “culd” be “in” it!! Becose thay doo things Rihght in Calaffornye!!

Thare was this lady she buyed A chrismis Tree at Cost Co and then It dyed so she taked “it back” to The stoar and sayed thay shuld Give her her Monney back becose the chrismis Tree it dyed! (http://www.sfgate.com/technology/article/Woman-returns-Christmas-tree-to-Costco-because-12491223.php) And yiu know Wat thay done?? thay gaved her her Monney!That “is” how thay dose it “In” Callaffornye!!

i think ore Collidge is in Illanoise or maybbe Onterryo i forget witch! Wye cant Thay make Callofornyer bigger so Our college it “culd” be in thare???

Like whoo did them Dirty Captilists think thay was to be seling That lady “this” no good Tree that dyed affter she “put” it up for chrismis?? But thay are Not the ownly ones!! Hear at Collidge thay put “a” chrismis tree in one of “the” Dormes and it was lovly i seen it; for Ornimints thay had Con-doms and Izlambic stuff whith a buitifull Hillery Angle on top of “it” and that tree it turnt All “brown” becose it Dyed tooo and it Evin catched on Fire when thay tryed to Deckarate it whith a Joint of Marawana!!! Thay was “Luckie” the hole Dorme it didnt Burn Down!!!!

It jist gose to Show yiu captilism it is Bad and yiu cant Truss no captilisks becose thay awlyays treying to Cheet yiu!! That is wye Us “who is” Socile Jutstus Wirers wee cant nevvir take no Day Off!!


a Not so Hapy Newyeers Four Me!

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Well dammit thanks to Wite Privlidge and Globble Warming i had a reely Stinky no good Newyears!! in facked i wond Up “in” the hopsitol!!

See it was “so” coled on Newyeers Eave that we culdnt has our annul Fire Works dissplay “hear” at Collidge! Globble Warming it makes The “wheather” reel coled and we culdnt be “out Side” so we desided to has the Fire Works indors in the LBGTQZ Stodent Centaur and this Wite Soupremist Deen he tryed to stopp Us!!! he sayed it “is” Not Safe but he ownly sayed that becose he wuld Not checkk his Wite Privlidge and aslo he got Homo Fobier!!

So we “has” The Fire Works any how in-side the Stodent Centaur and it was Going “jist find” until al Of A sodden the bilding it cought Fire!!! and we knowed “it was” that knotsy Deen his fallt and “The” hole damm thing burnt Down! and I dont know How “evry boddy” thay got Out and no boddy thay “got” burnt to Daeth but Me I got one of my Moth Antenners burnt offf!! O man did that “hurt”!!! and i had to Go “to” The Hopsitol and i ownly jist Got “out” Twoday!

Thare woodnt be No fire exept that Wite Privlidge Deen he wanted “it” to start A Fire “and” so it did!! and No boddy thay seen him “sints the” Fire!! He is hyding Out “and Boy” iff we evver “find” him he wil reely “Get It!!@


Our Top Posts of 2017

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We’re off to a very slow start here for 2018, so let’s take a few minutes to see what were the top posts of the year.

No. 1, way out in front with 964 views, The BBC’s Old ‘Narnia’ Was Better Than the Movies. That was posted several years ago, and it’s still going strong, still the all-time favorite post on this blog.

No. 2, with 726, from 2015, Did the Queen Really Say It? No one is able to find this legendary on-camera speech by Queen Elizabeth in which she supposedly suggested that 2015 would be the last Christmas ever, meanwhile admitting that the Royal Family had Princess Diana bumped off because “she knew too much.” This goofy item never goes away. We’ve had two more Christmases since then, so go figure.

For 2017 itself, the most-viewed post was Antifa Calls for Nov. 4 ‘Revolution’–a scheme which totally fizzled out, causing Antifa’s credibility to take a major dive.

And No. 2 for 2017, posted Oct. 13 and garnering 113 views so far, The Leaven of Idiocy, in which a bona fide gynecologist mentioned “pregnant people,” as if somewhere out there, she’d encountered a pregnant man or two.

I don’t know if this is going to work at all, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I might as well ask you, the readers, to name your favorite posts this year: anything that might have stuck in your memory for good or ill. It would interest me to know this, and it just might interest some of you. I won’t mind if it turns out to be a cat video, a Joe Collidge post, or an installment of Oy, Rodney. It doesn’t have to be a news item, and I’ll be kind of surprised if it is.


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