Tag Archives: joe collidge

Elfs thay Are Prooof That Evilutoin It is Reel!!!

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I wented to a lexture yeasterday And now i jist “dont” see how them stopid Haters “and” biggits thay refuzes “to” beleave Evilutoin it is truue!!!!!

We now has Prooof of Evillusion,, we evin has got viddio!! Stopid lee he putt one Of them viddios rihght Hear on “this” blogg and he still dont get it!!

For millians of yeers the Elfs thay was ownly Deckaracions but “now” thay Has Evolved!!! Yes, now thay has Evolved into Livving Things! The prefesser she was making “the” lexture she sayed “This hear it is Prooph that non-Life it Evolvs into Life jist al bye Itsselff and thare isnt no Sueper Natchrel stuff it jist hapens!!”” and then she sayed “Evry Thing it has got the Potentchile for Life iff it arent Alyve all reddy!!”

Wel we al standed Up “and” cheared becose now wee Know “that” Life it Creeates It’s Self and so we wil rite A Letter to Hillery askin her to shut down Al the Churtches for Evvalution Denile and beang Anty-Sciance!!! that is a crymb! it is Hate! and aslo now we “want” our Collidge to offer a Deegree Pogrom in Elf Studdies and aslo more free stuff to “al” Indervidurals of Dyvercity!!! and aslo Free Tution for evry stodent inclooding Elfs! Thare is No Reesin elfs shuld Not Go To Collidge tooo jist like peple!! I amb sure thay Can “learn” jist as mutch as we doo!!!


We Prottest Wite Chrismist!!!

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The Collidge Quire,, i didnt “know” we “had” one, thay singed a Chrismist Consert lasst nihght() i didn know “we” hadd one of Those ether,, but we got a Preotest togetther and we maid themb Stop!!! In facked nowh thay “are” apollogyzing for singing I Amb Dreembing Of a Whyte Crismiss!! We “shuld Not” has beeen So Incentsive,, thatt Is “waht” thare Saying Now and The Stodent Soviet whe has centinced themb to Riggerous Re-Education it wil taik Three yeers!

I meen haow stopid can yiu Get, singing abote A Wyte Crismist?? Yiu cant be aloud “to” sing abote Anny Thing that Is Whyte!! or say anny thing is wyte,, thare is not Nothingg that is wite thatt yiu shuld be “aloud To” say,^ thare Can Bee No Socile Jutstus Unless Thare Isnt Nothing Whyte No Moar!!!!! i cannat say that Strungly enuhgh!!

Some Hater he tryed to saiy “wyte chrismist” it is Only Abote Snohw and snowh it is Wyte it is awlyaws wite wel i Dont “care” it is jist Hat Speach!! and so we fowned his byke and slatched the tyres!! wee was goingto beet himb Up butt thare was only Fore of Us so we decydid Not To!!

Neckst Semestur wee “are” going to get Rid “of” al Whyte Paiper and only has Paiper Of Cullor whe wil Not “stop” untill thare isnt nothing wite no moar!!!!

 


We dont Need No thanks-Giving!

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O man! i was sposed to rite this yeasterday but i fergot to “do” it “Becose” i was “so” busy getting reddy “for” stopid thanksgiving and then thay toled me i misssed it! Becose thanksgivving was Wensday not twoday!!!

Wel that it maid me “reely” Mad!! butt so waht! Thare isnt nothing to “be” Thankfull four annyhow axept for bein a Interllectural hear at Collidge insted of ordrinary dum peple!!! So i amb “thankfull” for bein Mutch Smarter then them ordrinary dum peple and stopid christins and thay shuld “be” thankfull fore Us!!! becose we “are” so Smart!!!!

So me “and” sum Others on the Stodent Soviet wee got Togithar to sing “hims” to Pressadint Obamma and “thank” him for makin the See-levvles go “Down” befor thay sunk Ohyo and runed our Campas!!

I didnt “get” no Turky thohgh becose it al got eat up befor i got some so al I hadd to eet was a Hankerchiff but it was OK wen i put “some” Mapple Seerip on it!!


I Mist The Elecktoin!!

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So I goed to Vote twoday and thay toled me i mist the elecktoin it’s Over!!!

Well i wasnt goingto Take “that” so i throwed my self “on” the Flore and did kicking “and” screeming and yeled But “I has a impotent Demmocrat vote!!!! yiu cant “do” this” “to me”!!! and neckst thing i Know “this ” guy he comes in “And” grabs my hare and bops my Hed aginst “the” flore Five or Sicks Times to make me stopp!!! and then he says Why “dont” we “jist let this hear Fyne yung man “do a rite-in” vote,, “Hear sunny jist rite yore vote on this hear peace of Payper”! so i done it!! I rote in Hi,llery and aslo Pressadint Obamma and than thay “made” me Go Awaiy!!! But so waht,, at leest i Voted!!! Aslo i sayed the Russhins thay made “me layte!” and thay Beleaved that!!!

it jist gose to show yiu “that” evry Vote it have got “to” be Countid!!! and hear at Collidge i has lernt that “yiu shuld” alyaws be throne “a” Tantrum then yiu get “waht” yiu whant!!!

but Now my Hed it hurts,, that guy “he bended” one of My moth Antenners so i think I better sea iff I “can” fyned some Druggs! and i wahnt to rite a litter to Hillery so shee knows “i Voted” four her!!


I Amb sick And Fackts thay Are hat Speach!

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I was anctious Twoday to get to “the” Stodent Soviet meting wee Are “goingto” Out-law and Ban al Hate Fackts becose thay “are” jist hat speach and No One “canbe” aloud to say Them anny moare!! axept wen i got Up “tooday”” i was sick!!!! I didnt knowe It At frist but than somboddy thay toled me “Yiu has got Spotts all” over “yiu” and wen i wented to “The” Infermery the norse she sayed i got Meezles!!! no wunder i feeled so Bad!!

But i whasnt “goingto” let That “stop” Me fromb going two The Meting so i whent and wen i sitted Down than evry boddy thay strated Moving Awhay fromb me like i hadd Coodies or somthing! and i sayed “wahts the Mater whith al of yiu???” and somboddy thay sayed “wel yiu Got Meezles and “That” is a Dizzeese and it is Cantajiss and i dont wanta ketch it fromb Yiu”!!!

i ansered “Now see,, That “Is” jist waht we meen, That is a Hate Fackt and i amb jist a victimb!!!” and yiu “has” to ignor them Meezles lyke thay wasnt Thare!!!”” and our Commissarr she sayed “Yiu know waht? he is Rihght!! Sayin he got Meezles, that reely Is! a Hate Fackt and we can not Akknollidge it so evry boddy yiu has got to Moove yore ” Chares back “up Clost To himb!!!”” So evry boddy thay didd that becose we Are “Not” goingto “pay” no Attentchin to No Hate Fackts anny moare!!

And then Sombthing beuttifull It hapened!! The Commissarr she sayed “Wee has lett a Hate Fackt hurt Joes Feeelings! so now we has to has a Groope Hugg!!”& so we done a reely long And Sqkwishy groope Hugg untill “My” Feeelings thay whasnt hurt no Moare!!! and we spendded al Day twogethar singin hapy songs!!!

and Now i dont feeel so Goood and mayby iff I ete somb Jim Sox i wil feele beter!


Yiu can Ownly EEt Socile Jutstus Iyce Creem!!

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[Editor’s Note: WordPress has torpedoed me again! If you see this post appear twice instead of once, it’s not my fault.]

We,lll our Stodent Soviet we has dunn “a” Big Thing!! We has maked a roole to get “rid of” evry Kynde of Iyce Creem axept Benin Jary’s Iyce Creem becose ownly Benin Jary’s it stants “for” Socile Jutstus and Dyvercity!!! So fromb now on on Campas yiu cant has anny kynde Of Iyce Creamb butt Benin Jary’s and “that Is” howe yiu get Dyvercity!!

Yiu see,, Benin Jary’s Iyce Crimb thay pro-motes Socile Jutstus and Enviarmintle Jutstus and Peple of Culler and Wimmin and E-quality!!! It is aslo good becose “It” is maid in Benin witch is sombware in Affricka like rihght neckst To Swizzerland!!

And So fromb now on yiu cant has “No” uther Iyce Creemb butt Benin Jary’s and in Facked we dunn sombthing Elsse two, we maked “a” roole That yiu has to eet Benin Jary’s Eyes Creemb evry Day or else “it” Is hat speatch and yiu are “a” Hater and a Racist and a Biggit and thare Isnt “no Plaice” four yiu in this hear Collidge and iff yiu Skipp a Day then yiu get Flunked Out of al yore corsets butt iff yiu Eat It evry day Like “we” tolled yiu than yiu get All A”s pluss a ottomatick deegree in Socile Jutstus Studdies!!!!! How abote That!!

We “are” Doiing this “For” Fredomb and Dyvercity and no one thay is aloud to Say any Diffrint!!!


Yiu Has got To Funnd Me!!

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I has got to get one Of “them” “Go Funnd me” things and yiu has got “to” send munny and i wil tel yiu Why!

Last Nihght this gye at Collidge he showd me this Frogg and sayed he Wuld sel it “to” me four jist $1thousind dolars!!! Well i thinked “that was” a awful lott of munny and he sayed Yaeh “but Its Werth It!”” becose this is a spacial Magickle Frogg,, it “can Grant yiu” Three Whishes!!! al yiu got to do “is” whined it Up!! and it whill aslo bownce Up and Down!

So I assked him watt kynde of whisshes and he sayed “Anny kinde!!” How abote that!!!

Now i been “thinkin” al Day long abote watt whisshes I shuld Whish Four! that is knot so Eazy becose i wil ownly get Three!!! So far i am thinkin i whill whish I winned the Lotary and i whish Hillery she is Pressadint like fourevver!! and aslo mayby I wil whish Donold Trumpt he wil get eat up by Monsters “or” somthing!!! or mayby i wil whish I finish Transitchining into a Wimmin!!! Then i wuld “get” a A! in Gender Studdies!! and mayby my deegree tooo! and then i can “be” a Prefesser!!!!!

And aslo my Imadginery Freind Scrod ze is teling me iff I buyed “two” of them Froggs then “I” wuld get Sicks Whisshes insted of jist Threee! So maybe i bettar get two of thoze Go Funnd Mes!


My Imadginery Freind!

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Hear at Collidge us Introllecturals we lern “things” we nevver knowed “abote” Before!

Yeasterdday “in” Intorsexonal Gender Studdies the teetcher she toled “us” yiu got to Has a Imadginery Freind who willl alyaws tel yiu “wen” yiu are thinkin or sayin or doing somthing “that” Is Sexist or Hatful or Micro Grecian!!! and the “Best Thing” abuot it is yore Imadginery Freind ze becombs Reel!! Jist by sayin you has one,, yiu reely has it!!!

My Imadginery Freind ze “is A” Trans Ghirl named Scrodd i think “that” Is a reel neiss Name!! and Now she gose whith me warevir i amb and yiu know waht?? I axually seen xer!!!! butt ze dont whant me to tel yiu waht ze looks lyke!! becose xe amnt done Trans Itchining yhet! so al I wil “say Is” that ze is reel Biutafull!! evin more Gorjist than Kate Lynn Jender!!!!!

Jist a minnit Aggo i was jist abote to rite “She” insted of “Ze” and wow did Scrodd let me has it for that!!! That “is” howe I got stoppped fromb making a Sexist Micro Grecian!!! and jist nhow ze is teling me i cant eeat no Wyte Jim Sox no moar i can only eeat Plad Sox becose them wyte Sox thay are Racist!!!

I can allreddy fiel my Intralleck groing by leeps and bownds!!!!


I Has Passed Lifes!!!

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Well! I wented to a lexture last “nihght” and It was al abote Passed Lifes and waht do yiu know,, i has got a hole buntch of Passed Lifes! i was evven Nipolion oncet!! but i had me a evven moar Impotant Passed Life then that!!

I aslo hadded a Passed Life As Hillery Clintin!! O man it dusnt get batter than this!!! No wunder “i” has alyaws feeled sutch “A” Bond whith her!! Like man i “was” rihght thare wen Hillery she was jist a Baby wen she was borned and thay naimed her “after” That Guy who climed MT. Everlast a few yeers layter!!! and I was aslo her wen she gotted maried to Billl Clintin he was Pressadint oncet. i whished i culdof keeped on “being” her but then I got bornded as My Self so i Wasnt Hillery “no more!!””

Now it Makes me wunder iff mayby Hillery she hadded a Passed Life as me!!!!! i bet she did! If only “we” culd get To-gether and talk abuot our Passed Lifes and mayby eat some Nice Jim Sox, sory but i am getting Hungary and somtimes that makes “my” Moth Antenners itch somthing Feerce!! Butt i wil save her a tastee Hankerchiff in case she “Vizzits” our Collidge somday!!!!

P.S. I “think” the wimmin who gived the lexture she mustof been a Angle becose she knowed so mutch “abote” Passed Lifes!!


Free Collidge credit Four Protest!!

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Hear it is mor prooof that No “mater” waht a wimmin she says, it “is” true!!

The boss commassar of “our” Stodent Soviet she “had” A Grate Idear last nihght and this Collidge we are goingto Do It!!!

Thare’s this ghuy named Mavvarick or somthing like that and wite supremes thay are trying to Putt him on the Supremassist Court and this grate idear “it” Is to give alll stodents **Free Ackadermic Creddit** !! four iff thay Protest Him!! And the Commassar she thawt It wood be Evin Bettter if thay gived Free Ackadermic Creddit like when-evver yiu Protest “any Thing”!!! Al yiu got To “do is”” Protest enuohgh and yiu “are” haffweiy to getting yore Deegree!!!

And this it is Brillyint, yiu get a Deegree in Any sujbect yiu whant!!! I knowe one ghuy he is in my Gender Studdies 666 class he is goingto Protest a hole lot and get “a” Deegree in Enginearing!!!! Then he can make “lots of Munny” bilding Brijjes!! It dont mater if All the Creddits yiu got thay are only from Protesting,, yiu can stil get a Deegree to be a Dockter or a Climbit scyantits or watevver!! If yiu “are a” Socile Jutstus Wirer yiu are Smart enuohgh to do Any thing Any how!!

This it is furrther Prooof that Combunism it reely whirks!!!!!!


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