Tag: joe collidge

An important reminder

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For some reason, WordPress is not sending emails to notify readers of any of the blog reprints.  There is some awfully good stuff there, and I’m concerned it is getting missed.  All the regular repeat items that many readers enjoyed are sometimes getting zero views.  So I am letting you know to check the actual blog, rather than relying only on the email notices.

Going to the blog, you will see everything.

All of Lee’s articles, Joe College, Byron the quokka, and Oy Rodney are reprints, as are reprints of Chalcedon articles, so you won’t get emails about them.

Just to let you know.

I am going to contact Jill at Chalcedon to see if there is any workaround for this problem.

I’ll keep you posted.

Patty

‘Ton Ey Curtus’s Hand!!’ (2017) Joe Collidge Reprint

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See? It is Ether “his” rihght Hand oar his Lefft Hand witch is mising, Alfrid Hich-coke Cut “it” offf whith a soard!!!!

Robbie the cat is lying on top of my notes and I haven’t got the heart to move her. This vintage “Joe Collidge” piece is the only title peeking out from under the cat.

Well, we can always use a good laugh. It’s a gift from God.

Ton ey Curtus’s Hand!!

And now the cat gets up and walks away!

Happy Sunday, everybody.

 

Joe Collidge: GOP Unleeshes Radio-Active Wasps! REPRINT

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12,900+ Wasp Sting Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free ...

From August 1, 2025

Yowch! That hurt!

I gotted stinged By a Wassp today “and” it reely Hurt!!!

And “then” I fowned Out the Wassps thay “are” Radio Active!!! That’s why yiu heer all that Buzzing “on yore” Radio wen yiu try “to” play Woke Music!!!!!

This heer It Is Darnold Trumpt’s fawlt!!!! HE MAID THEMB WASSPS RADIO ACTIVE!!!!!! Thay are Repubickan Wassps!!! Thay been traned “to” Sting us so we woont Voate!!!!! Yiu KNOW Kamalalala she wood “Be” Pressidint if “it” wazznt for all them wassps!! And heer Is A Pixture of Jeff Goldbloom he is turning into a wassp becose he got stinged by Radio-Active and look watt it Done To Himb!!!!

I wunder watt wood of hapened iff “it was” a  Radio-Active Potater Beeatle!!!!!!

We has to kick Trumpt “out of” the Wite Hause befoar Evvry Boddy in it thay tourn In-to Radio-Active buggs!!!!!!!!! Do the Ellecsion Over and putt Kamalalala back in Orfice befoar Its Twoo Layte!!!!

Awl my prefessers at Collidge thinck so!!!!!!

This Heer Reesurch Have Got ‘To’ Do! Joe Collidge REPRINT

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Is My Pet Watching TV? — The Pet Lady - Pet Sitting/Dog Walking

From April 1, 2022

Sombtymes iggnarint peple thay “foarget”” that Collidge it dose A Lot “of” impotant Scyintiffic Resurch!!!!

Our Collidge it “is” dooing Grate Scyince like has Not “bin” Done Befoar!!!! We “are” Trying “to” fined Out waht TV shoaws annamels thay lyke Best!! I hadded a pet turdle oncet whoo wached oald Bo-Nanza reruns until he ranned awhay and i cuddnt fined himb ennymoar!!!!!

Natcherly this heer Scyints it rechoirs Howers “and” Howers of Resurch and “test-ing”!”!” and that cawsts Munny!!!!!!! That maikes our Too-ission go up butt “it” is Whurth It!!!!!! Shuddnt we Know waht TV pogroms peeple’s’s Petts lyke best?? Do Cats lyke “The” saim shoews Dogs lyke? Waht iff yiu has a pet Tode, or a Hambster, or Parrit,, or a Minus Burd???? Shuddnt thare “be” TV for themb tooo??

Our Collidges’s Gratest Mineds thay “are” nhow whirking On “It” day and nite!!!!!

Becose Socile Jutstus and Incloosion and Equatty thay “are”” foar annamels tooo “And” Not jist Hyumins!!!!!!

‘Put’ This Hear Juj in Jale!!!!! REPRINT

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35 Toddler Tantrum Floor Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

From November 11, 2022

[Last week we had a cock-up on the college front and Joe Collidge failed to appear in his usual Friday slot. Amazingly, no one complained.]

Didd yiu heer the tearrable news??? I cant beleave “it!”!” And jist affter “we winned” the Elexion tooo!!!!!!!

Some stopid juj in Tecksis ((oar “was” it Indier? i get them twoo micksed up!!)) he sayed thare Cant “be” “no” Stoodint Lone Fourgiftness!!!!!

Sints wen did anny boddy maik himb Pressadint??? Heer “at” our Collidge, “the” Stoodint Soviet we instintlie sended Off “a” leter to Pressadint Jobiden to tel himb he shood awght “to” throe That Thare Juj in jale!!!! and maby feeed himb To “the” allygaters tooo!!!!!! HOW DAIR HE??? Whoo dose “he” Thinck he “is?”!” Wat kined Of dimmocrasee Is it “wen” sumb juj he woont “let the” Pressadint do stuph???

Of corse we has bin Saying awl “allong” that thare shood awght To Be Freee Collidge foar evvry one butt Cristchins!!!!! and a free bortion too!!! If we hadded Soshalism no-boddy wood has to pay foar “enny-Thing!!”” And Collidge it “is” a Nessessaty Of Lyfe!!!!!! I lernt that In Nothing Studies!!

Whithout All “the” “grate” eddicasion i get In Collidge, I wood Be a Boob!!!!

Waht i Whant foar Whinter Festivle!!!! REPRINT

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From December 24, 2021

(Joe is a bit early with this, but he’s very enthused by the power it will give him)

We has Out-lawred “that holladay” heer At Collidge and re-plaiced “it” whith a Inkloosift Hollday witch “we” caul Whinter Festivvle!!!!!! And this hear It “is” “the” Prezzint thatt i whant Obamma Klaws to bring me!!! Grate Garlloo!!!!!!

This heer is a Toy maid by Karl Marx!!!!!! Hoaow grate “is” that???

Layter that Day “we” whil “Awll” sea The Hand-Made’s Tail it “is” awol abuote haow Meen charischins Are!!!!! Thay fourst wimmin To “has” baybes!!!!!!!!!! You caint Get a Bortion enny moar!!!!! that is watt hapens wen yiu has Donold Trumpt beeing pressadint!!!

Yiu can uze Grate Garrlloo to nock daown Churtches!! He whil “Be” yore Slaive!!!!!

[And I, the Editor, had better get to work today! Let Joe wander off to distant regions of the campus. Maybe he’ll learn something.]

Our New Yeer’s rezzalutoins!! REPRINT

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From January 4, 2019

Whell, jist in Time,, i joyned our collidge’s Pro Choyce Cacas! and thay has gived Us “alll” a liszt of New Yeer’s Rezzalutoins!! The Pro Choyce Cacas thay maded al Our “choyces” fore us,; how grate is that??? Al wee has to do Is “obay” themb!!!

And hear thay are!

We Rezolfe to whare only “the” Cloathes the Cacas says we “has” got to whare Evry Day!!

We Rezolfes to reed “The” Handmade’s Tail over and ovar agin and keap Reeding it so we know “it bye” hart!!

We rezolfes to get Inta Canfrontaycions whith christins and conserfatiffs Evry Day and keap Doingit “untill” thay Minds thay are rihght!!!

We rezolfes to go to Bed evry Nihght wen the Cacas say we shuld!

We rezolfe only “to” use themb brandnew Pro Nouns that the Cacas thay has jist maded Up,: like Gzee and Gzaa and Gzuu and Lunnabunna and a “lot of” Others,, i has not yett Bin Abel to memberyze themb alll, “thay are” for al the New Genders that has got “to be” Re-speckted!!! Al themb Old Pro Nouns thay “are” Trans Foabbick!!

Aslo we has got to say “the” F Bomb at leest Oncet in evry sentints becose this hear it Willl aleavvyate globbal Povverte and Sex Ism!! I all reddy started Doingit but that stopid lee he is “goingto” deeleet al my F Balms!! [Editor’s note: You got that right, Joe.]

And aslo tooo we Rezolfe to Hate all the hatters and biggits That are “arond” hear on the Campas and to Hate themb “until” thay jist Drop Dedd!!!!!

So thoze thay are all “The” Rezzalutoins that The Pro Choyce Cacas thay has choze for us!!

I Whant ‘to’ Joyne ‘The’ Forrin Lesion!!! REPRINT

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French Foreign Legion | History & Facts | Britannica

From December 15, 2023

Dam! I fawled Asleep “last’ Nite and mist this!!! Butt I heared abuout It layter!!!!

Did yiu know yiu cood joyne The Frentch Forrin Lesion?!? It terns Oaut thare “was” A” Recrooter heer “at” our collidge lassed Nite and he was geting stodints to sine up foar The Forrin Lesion and you get this Neet Hat and go to Frants and has spatial fyne Frentch foode and thay givv yiu this heer Red thing that yiu ware “On” yore shurt!!!! Frants is beter thann Amaricka ennyhaow,, thay “got” Socile Jutstus thare!!!!! Awl yiu has got To “do” is sine up and thay givv yiu this here “grate” Big Gun!!

I know my Hisstry!!! Gorge Burns and Edy Kantor thay was bowth “in the” Forrin Lesion and thay got To be Moovie Stars!!!!!! And yiu doughnt has to Do “ennything” reel harrd be-cawse Frants loses awl Its Wars ennyhaow!!! Mostly thay has grate Partys and go swiming On “the” Rivera!!!!

And I thinck “the”cool Hat whil fitt “oaver” my moth antenners!!!

Climbit Change Causes Monsters! REPRINT

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From February 23, 2020

This was going to be an emergency bulletin from Joe Collidge, but he is currently prostrated with fear and unable to write coherently. Also some gym socks he ate for breakfast have disagreed with him.

It seems there’s a growing rumor of giant crabs depopulating islands and dragging whole coastal villages into the deep, all because of Climate Change and Greta Thunberg. Back in 1957, this was cleverly disguised as a science fiction movie. But in 2020, it’s a grim reality.

Or so we’re told. By college professors. So you know it’s got to be true.

Only world government, open borders, and real high taxes can stop the giant crabs.

Honest!

Trumpt’s name Reely Is Hat Speech! REPRINT

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From March 3, 2017

I has sumthing elsse To “tell” yiu abote today But first i has been aksed to waygh in “on” weather Donold Trumpt’s his Name it “is” hat speech!

Wel of corset is!! Hear at my Collidge nobody istnt aloud To “say” his name And iff yiu do yiu got To “get” Sensertivitty Training! Yiu onely aloud to Say “Pressadint Obamma or” Pressadint Hillery becose them Rushans Thay hacked The elecktoin and made Donold trumpt Pressadint and “it” wassnt fare!!! and iff yiu Dont say “Pressadint Obamma” that meens yiu Are A Racist and iff yiu Dont say Pressadint Hillery that meens yiu hat Wimmins and yiu Are “a” Secksist! i am Gladd yiu aksed me “to” explane This!

This mourning in Gender Studies 202 we lernt abote This hear Grate Book and it was aslo A Movie it was caled “The” Harrad Exspearmint and It “was” abote Harrad Collidge whare They done this Exspearmint al abote teeching Stodents to do sexule things That “Sociaty” disprooves of so that Thay wil “laern” to dispise the tredicional Consept “of” Moonagimmy by Having Lots of Pre-Martyral Sex!! Wow was that Grate!! and The prefesser he sayed this hear book And “then” the Movie it reely got the Sexule Reverlution offf The growned!!

And somboddy he Aksed The prefesser How “come” we dont Doo that hear at Our Collidge and he sayed “Wee has moved” on From that and now Wee got to get al the stodents to do Gender Fluaditty and aslo Gay Marridge! becose that was whatt Naterly comes neckst! And he aslo sayed that if we does enuhgh Secks that Donold Trumpt he wil Be drived out Of offfice! and Pressadint Obamma he will be Pressadint agian even thogh he Still is and he Wil fixx evrything and then He Wil go play Golph and it Wil “be” Hillerys tern to be Pressidint!!  How abote that!!!

I hoope yiu ordrinary dum peple apareciates The haigh-class Thinking “us” Interllecturals we are Doing for Yiu hear “at” collidge!