Tag Archives: joe collidge

Safe Spaice For all!!!

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Hear at Collidge we “are” al exited by what Thay are “doing” At Rosefelt Unavarsity In Chickago making “the” hole Campas into Safe Spaice so That evryboddy in The world thay “can” come to Ammerica! So we whant To Do it tooo!

Thiss it wil reely fix Donold Trumpt and show “him that” he cant keeep noboddy Out Of this here contry! He is so stopid, he dont Know We Are The world and we are “alll” Citruzens Of the world!!! Jist waight till he “Sees” al The Hash Tags wee gots! he wil probbly jist sit downe And criy! Evry Time i send a Emale now it wil Say #YiuAreAlWelkomeHere! Exept for christins and Climbit Change Denyars!

My prefesser he “says it Is” time For thare not “to” be No Nations anyymore jist One Big Nation with One Big Govvermant for evryboddy and i hope pressadint Obamma he wil “be” pressadint of One Big Govvermant and i think Hillery she be pressadint tooo we can Have them Both!!! And aslo Lots of Sciance! becose yiu cant doo nothing With-out a Lot of Sciance.

Wel now I got to “go” and Help Put up sines all over thay say “”Inclusion Has No Boarders”!! One Big Govvermant for Evryboddy In the werld Hear We come!!!!


Cars thay Are Trans-Gender Tooo!

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Well we didnt has no Gender Studies 666 class today becose the prefesser he sayed “he” didnt feel So good becose he “is” menstrubating and he got to “go” buy Some tamp-ons! So i was walkin Back “to” somplace i forget ware, Whenn I heared some guy he sayed he “has got” to Put some Trans-Gender Floid in his car!!!

Wuld yiu beleave it I didnt “know” Cars thay can be Trans-Gender jist like peple!! See i never knowed alot abote “cars” I has got no Drivver Lisince becose that Test thay “giv” yiu it isnot fare! I hate that stopid “test” becose it Dis-respecks my Micro Culture witch says i dont has to pay No “attentchen” to no stop sines or Trafick lites becose thay just istnt Part “of” My realty!! Like wheye shuld i has to stop jist “becose” of some Stopid sine that its probbly Racist! Besydes i am a Interllectural and i dont nead to dryve no Car!

But nowh that i Has “larned” that Cars thay “can” be Trans-Gender well i whant one “of thoose” Trans-Gender Cars to dryve al aruond the Campas!! It jist gose to Show yiu that Gender Floiditty it is a Unaversile Part of Natchure! Cars thay must “have” Eovvolved that waigh! jist lyke evry Thing else!!!


Has we Reely got Past Lifes?

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Yeasterdday in Gender Studies 606 the prefesser She toled “us” abote this hear Book its al abuot Past Lifes! And how wee al “used to” be Somone Else! It is OK for us “to” beleave this Becose them stopid christins they Dont beleave “it”!

She sayed This Hear it is “the” Spiritule Apsect of Gender Floidity! If yiu Are a Mail it meens yiu “used to” bee Femail and If yiu are Femail “it” meens yiu used to bee Mail! and That is “why” Evry One shuld ouhght to get This hear Past Lifes Retro-Regresion Tharapy so then yiu Wil know whom Yiu “used to” be and yiu can Go “back” to beeing It!

Wel lett Me tel yiu larning This it shure got My Moth Antenners in a Twist! Becose affter al the hole reeson i got Moth Antenners is thay shoot me up Whith Moth Hormoans to make Me into “a” wimmin! But then i get to Thinkin “may-be I “used to” bee a Moth!!! and Waht wuld hapen If i did Past Life Retro-Regresion and got hippotized, wuld That “turn me” into a Reel Moth whith Wings??? but of coarse i Didnt aks That becose Hear At Collidge yiu Not aloud to aks no Questoins. That is a New Pollisy we got and it reely works! Besydes thay wont “let yiu” have no Play-Doh iff Yiu aks Quesstins!


Trumpt’s name Reely Is Hat Speech!

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I has sumthing elsse To “tell” yiu abote today But first i has been aksed to waygh in “on” weather Donold Trumpt’s his Name it “is” hat speech!

Wel of corset is!! Hear at my Collidge nobody istnt aloud To “say” his name And iff yiu do yiu got To “get” Sensertivitty Training! Yiu onely aloud to Say “Pressadint Obamma or” Pressadint Hillery becose them Rushans Thay hacked The elecktoin and made Donold trumpt Pressadint and “it” wassnt fare!!! and iff yiu Dont say “Pressadint Obamma” that meens yiu Are A Racist and iff yiu Dont say Pressadint Hillery that meens yiu hat Wimmins and yiu Are “a” Secksist! i am Gladd yiu aksed me “to” explane This!

This mourning in Gender Studies 202 we lernt abote This hear Grate Book and it was aslo A Movie it was caled “The” Harrad Exspearmint and It “was” abote Harrad Collidge whare They done this Exspearmint al abote teeching Stodents to do sexule things That “Sociaty” disprooves of so that Thay wil “laern” to dispise the tredicional Consept “of” Moonagimmy by Having Lots of Pre-Martyral Sex!! Wow was that Grate!! and The prefesser he sayed this hear book And “then” the Movie it reely got the Sexule Reverlution offf The growned!!

And somboddy he Aksed The prefesser How “come” we dont Doo that hear at Our Collidge and he sayed “Wee has moved” on From that and now Wee got to get al the stodents to do Gender Fluaditty and aslo Gay Marridge! becose that was whatt Naterly comes neckst! And he aslo sayed that if we does enuhgh Secks that Donold Trumpt he wil Be drived out Of offfice! and Pressadint Obamma he will be Pressadint agian even thogh he Still is and he Wil fixx evrything and then He Wil go play Golph and it Wil “be” Hillerys tern to be Pressidint!!  How abote that!!!

I hoope yiu ordrinary dum peple apareciates The haigh-class Thinking “us” Interllecturals we are Doing for Yiu hear “at” collidge!


I Got Poled!

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Yeasterday I “was in” my prefesser’s Howse washing his Toylet Paper to Save The Planet and the phone it rung and thare was noboddy else in Side “so” i ansered it and gess What it was a Pole! So thay poled Me!!

Thay aksed me “a” hole bunch of Quastoins abote The News medea and TV news and noosepapers and Maggazeens and i telled them How “much” I like all The News Medea becose alyaws thay telling The truth “but” then thay aksed me Do “yiu considder” yoore self Hipspanick?? Wel I wastnt bron yeastadday! So I sayed “is This “a” trick Questoin??”  And i woned up saying “yes i Do” becose I knowed its goood to Be Hipspanick whatever That is!

And then It got “natsty” becose Thay aksed me are Yiu Mail or Femail? and yiu beter beleave I ponced on that! And i sayed Whoe! Yiu has trying To “tie” me “To the Sexule Bynary! Dont yiu know thats Hat Speech??? Yiu is a Biggit! yiu Has broke the Law! and I am goin “to” report yiu “to our” Specile Diversity Rabid Responts Teem” for it!!! And than thay hanged up but thay was too Late! i all reddy got them!

I immedatly phoned to Specile Diversity Rabid Responts Teem to report them and get Them throwed “in” jale but the Specile Diversity Ofiser he aksed me What is the Name “of” the Biggit i was tallking to and Oh Dammit i forgot!!! i gess I shuld of Rote It Downe but i didnt Have no pensyl! So the ofiser he aksed me Wel Waht was the Name “of” the Poling Ogrenyzation that caled and i forgot That too! I was so imbarassed! And “the” ofiser he Got mad At me “and” yeled at me for Wasting “his tyme!” I sure Was sory over That!

Wel if It evver hapens Agian I wil know “whatt” to do!


‘You Got no Interllecturals Day’

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Well, the Day “without” No Immagrints Day it was a Big Sucxsess and it gived us hear “at” Collidge a reel Grate idear!! Lets seee how Quick The countrie it Cries Uncle iff al them stopid ordrinary dumb peple thay got to Do without us Interllecturals for a Day!!!

And So we has orgranized “the” Day without No Interrlecturals Day it is scredulled for Feb. 30 and jist yiu waight And see What Happens wen thay hasnt got No interllecturals to do thare stopid “thinkin” for them! Boy wil thay be hurtin!! Then thay willl al Think Twicet abote standin Arond like dops wile Donold Trump he burns Up “the” hole Worlld jist so he “Can” make a Prophit!!

Jist think! Four one hole day them Stopid Dops thay wont have No more Gender Studies! No Wimmins Studies! No Socile Jutstice Studies! It wil be as Bad as havving No Ellectrisity and No Viddio games! Oh are thay goin “to” howell!! and it wil Serve them rihght!!! Thay wil soon Be begging for Us to come “back and” do al thare thinkin For them! And then thay wil have to Let Hillery be pressidint!

P.S.–As yiu Can seee i am Out of Jale now becose thay kicked Me out affter jist one Nihght and gess whatt them Fashist cops thay didd? Thay made a Terrarist Threat on me, “thay” sayed iff I ever gets Arested again thay goin to cal My Fambly! I dont want that to hapen becose my Grand Ma and Grand Pa thay sayed thay wuld use my asp for Targit Practise iff thay “see” me arond anymore. So i Has got “to” avoyed them for a wile!


Joe Collidge in Jale!

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I amb writing “this” in jale and ohboy am i uppset!

This here mourning in Gender Studies 202 thay teached us that a hole lot of Protest peple thay going to Moon that Trump Tawer “in” Chickago to make him re-lease his tax inframation! i did not know yiu had to lease your tackses but We al thinked “it” is a grate Idea “to” Moon Trump Tawer it wil make him “do” waht we Want and then he wil not “be” Pressidint no more and so We can “have” Hillery like she shuld of beeen Pressidint anyhow!

Wel of corse this Collidge is not in Chickago and we dont have no Trump Tawer ether but i stil wantted “to” Moon so as to Protest Donold trump so naturly i whent over to Our own Town Hall and i Mooned that Lollypop lady thay got out thare “on” the streat Corner becose she “looks” like she Voted for trump!!  Man was it cold! i jist abote Froze my Hynie offf!

And wuld yiu beleeve it?? Neckst thing i Know thare is Cops al over me! And thay went and Throwed me in jale! and thay didnt Lissen whan I toled them to Look on the Intranet and then thay Wuld see that we Interllecturals we has al “got” a Rihght to Moon anytime wee want, this Juggde in Mary Land he sayed Mooning is “a form of Artistic Expresion pretected by The Forst Amenment” ( http://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/317873-hundreds-plan-to-moon-trump-tower-in-protest ). Thare Is No Way i shuld get throwed in Jale for doing a Artistic Expresion!!! I mean thare is payinting and Scrulpture and Music and aslo Mooning!

Wel thay sayed i culd has One fone call so i “caled” my Prefesser and “he” come over and sayed he wuld ogranise A Prottest to get me Out “of” jale and so i givved him This assay yiu are Reeding now and it looks “like” i has got to spend To Night in this jale sell butt at leeast it Is warmer than My prefesser’s Tool Shedd!i gess i wuld be al rihght now exsept That Lollypop lady she come in And hit me on my Moth Antenners she is a Dirty fashist and a Biggit and that reely hurted me!!!


I Has had a Dreem

I ate me a peace of a swetter last nihgt and it “must of had” like Carpet Cleener on it or somthing becose it Gived me a wiled Dream!

I drempt Pressidint Obamma he come “back” and made A Revilution and got rid “of” Donold trump and al them biggits and Haters witch suported “him” and than Obamma he turnt “into” a god! and he made Hillery the Pressidint insted of Trump and so she Lived “in the” Wite House And gess waht? I was her Boy Freind!!! and Bil Clintin he dint Mind becose he “had” a lott of Girl Freinds!

Yes! Wow!! i was Hillery’s Boy Freind now and i got To sleap “on” the Flore rihght by her Bed! and than She sayed “Mothy” (That was Her pet “naime” for Me( come “on Up hear a Minnet” and I thinked O Man this It Is goin to be Grate! and yiu know Waht she done then??? She gived Me a Indain Burn!!! Oboy that hurt!!!

And i sayed “how Come yiu” gived Me a Indain Burn and she sayed Becose I Can!! “I wil give This hole stinkin countrie a big fat Indain Burn and yiu wil here Them howell!! And then she strated Lauhghing and she Lauhghed so Loud it waked me up and thare i was freezing and my Moth Antenners thay Had Ice in them Rihght thare in My prefesser’s Tool shed! my Teeths thay wore Chatterin “so” bad i culdnt hardly “talk” but he Wuldnt give me No more blankits becose he sayed Its Globbal Warming “and whye” shuld he waist anether Blankit?

Wel i sayed Gee but I am awffle Cold! and he “sayed” Yiu be carful Waht yiu say or I “wil have yiu up on” charges of Climbit Change Denile and yiu dont “want” evry One to think yuo are a Racist do yiu??” Wel I gess that reely Shut me up!!!

I tell yiu this eddication It is reely Hard some times!!!

 


Religgin without No god!

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So my prefesser he Told “me” thay are goin to Bild a collony on The Moon and aslo thay are goin “to bild” a Tempal thare too! Butt “this hear Tempal it” wil “bee difrint! he “sayed.” becose “thare wont be no god” in it! and Thats becose thay wont have No religgion On “the” Moon and aslo thay wont Have “no” countryes and no Postesions neither!!! Just lyke in “imajin” by Jhon Lemon!!!

I aksed wehn They goin to bild This “and,” he sayed not jist yet “It Wil Take some time “to” get al the Wood and Tar Paper up on the Moon with a Rocket and i sayed Why we got to weigt?? “Wyh dont wee jist bild Our own Tempal rihght Hear on The Collidge Campas??” That is a Exskelent idear! He sayed. “Evry Place it neeeds a Tempal without no god in it!! Becose we” dont never Whant no Religgin on Campus, only Sceince!!!

wel we got to has something To “warship” in thare or else christins thay wil sneek in and Prey! So how abuot We warship Pressident Obamma? We all reddy got His statchue al we got to doo Is “move” it intoo The Tempal. And my Prefesser he sayed That “is” anether Grate Idear! Becose first Al Life Evulved from Rocks that got rayned on and than Peple Evulved and than Pressdint Obamma He evulved and he going to Creete evrything from Now On becose he “have” evulved into a sort of god but not That christin busniss!!!

So untill we Can “go to” The Moon and warship in That Tempal that hasnt got no religgion This wil do jist fine!!!

 


Us Interllecturals we Has too Got loggic!

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Today i “was” tellin some stopid Trump guy to jist Shut Up becose “thare” istnt no sutch thing As truth Expecally his stopid bible and he sayed Yeh if “that is so then iff yiu says Nothing Is True then that” saying “it Cant be True neether!”

Wel how can yiu ansser that stopid saying?? Wel of corse i “knowed jist” how to ansser it becose i Am a Interllectural and i sayed “ha-ha Yiu are a Knotsy!” Yiu are aslo “a” biggit And a hatter!!! that shuld have Fixed him but he too stopid to “undderstand” It so then i puntched Him in the noze!! He shuld of Thancked me for that But insted he was eeating a Pye and he shuvved it Rihght in my Face!! and then He puled One “of” my Moth Antenners and OWWW that hurted jist so bad i culdnt Stand it!!!

Neferthless i winned the Argyment by crying becose it hurted a lot and than I runned off to do Play-Doh and lets Jist see him “ansser” that!!! I jist Dare him to treye to come “into mhy” Safe Space!!! But dammit!! that Antenner it Is looose now and al Flopped over!!! so later i wil tel the Humin Rihghts thing abuot what he Done and thay wil Kicke him Out of Collidge!!! he wil Not “be” abel to ague aginst That Loggic!!


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