Kitten Conquers a Work Station

One of the good things about working at home is you get to spend more time with your pets. And they get to walk on your keyboard while you’re using it, after climbing up your leg. Trust me, the guy in this video got off easy. Imagine the trouble if he’d had a parrot, too.

Bonus Video: Quokka Kisses, with Meerkats

Nooze has left a bad taste in my mouth. Time for an antidote: quokka kisses! Along with some frisky meerkats, at Wildlife HQ Zoo. Would you like to trade places with this keeper?

Byron’s TV Listings, May 8

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G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with another weekend’s worth of spectacular TV brought to you by Quokka University. Just don’t ask us where we get it!

Without any further ado–we’re just about out of ado, anyhow–here’s a sample.

8:06 A.M.  Ch. 2  GUMBY’S STOCK MARKET TIPS

You won’t get rich, but you might get entertained. What the heck, it’s only money. Let Gumby and Poky show you how to invest it.

8:08   Ch. 3   WANTED FOR FRAUD: GUMBY

Anyone with information leading to the arrest and conviction of Gumby, please contact the Channel 3 Fraud Squad. $15 reward!

8:15   Ch. 5   CROCKED NEWSTALK–News and Commentary

You have to be noticeably intoxicated before they let you join this panel. Tonight’s celebrity drunkard: Big-game hunter Hap “Oops!” Chandler. Tonight’s topic: “String Theory: Who ****ing Gives a ****?” With Xi Jin Ping and his orchestra.

9 A.M.  Ch. 12   MOVIE–Waste of time

“Hamlet Prince of Denmark, Michigan” (2002)  Re-adaptation of Shakespeare’s Hamlet in modern dress and setting, with Hamlet as the son trying to inherit a shoe store after his father is murdered by Brownies. Hamlet: Alec Guinness. Father’s Ghost: Ben Dover. Ophelia: Zsa Zsa Gabor. Polonius: the Bowery Boys. With Henny Youngman’s Joke Machine.

Ch. 32   MY MOTHER THE GUNSLINGER–Western

While a rogue shark picks off Dodge City’s innocent swimmers, Sheriff Flimsy (John Gielgud) must ask Ma (Shari Lewis) to buckle on her guns again to deal with a mysterious stranger who shoots everybody. Dusty the Dog: James Whitmore. Sid the Horse: Alva Toffler  Mary Ellen the Beetle: Linda Hunt.

Well, there you have it–just a taste of what awaits you when you tune into Quokka UTV.

Quokka Home Movies

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with some of my family’s home movies. I wanted to post footage of us playing Clue, but everybody else wanted to show the juggling. We love watching humans juggle! It’s sort of a quokka thing–maybe because we are so no good at juggling, ourselves.

Kitten Kapers

I hope you don’t get bored by kitten videos. As for me, I can never get enough of the antics of kittens when they confront a mirror. Priceless!

True, a lot of animals have goofy reactions to mirrors. I had to take away the mirror before my chameleon did himself a mischief.

Can the Cats Catch the Moth?

I wanted to post a video of one of those big, clumsy beetles repeatedly flying into walls and doors and screens and never crashing, just bouncing off. How in the world do they stay airborne?

But I couldn’t find one, not even close: so here are Cole and Marmalade chasing a moth. I would just as soon they didn’t catch and eat it. I am not keen on the idea of eating moths.

Baby Bunnies Galore

Some are frisky, some are sleepy, all are sweet–baby bunnies.

This video will come in handy if you’re ever called upon to give baby bunny a bath.

(And I didn’t mean to post it this early. What was I thinking?)

‘Cursed Be Him Who Moves My Bones’

Shakespeare wrote that on his tombstone… Well, actually, somebody else wrote it, Shakespeare himself was out of the saga. But he didn’t want to be dug up, and said so.

Dogs don’t want anyone else digging up their bones, so they hide them. Indoors, that’s not so easy. They do the best they can, but some human always seems to wind up sitting on the hidden bone and making a scene.

Rabbit Chases Dog

Here’s something you don’t see every day–bunny chasing dog all around the yard. Look at ’em go! There’s another dog who’d like to get in on the game, but they seem to be ignoring him.

What do you think? Do they make a dog give up his union member’s card if he lets a rabbit chase him?

Domestication can be fun.

Cat Smacks Down Wokie

[Thanks to Susan for this video.]

What would possess this woman to introduce herself by saying, “I’m Whatsername, and I use she/her pronouns”? I mean, is that really the first thing you think of when you meet somebody–I wonder what pronouns she uses?

The cat isn’t having it, though. Long live the cat.