Cat Finds New Use for Curtains

Depending on your ability to read the feline mind, this curtain is being used as a) a straitjacket b) a sniper’s nest c) a cocoon, or d) a bowling alley designed by Joe Biden.

I hope the owner has some spare curtains.

Puppies and Stairs

Living indoors with humans requires a lot of flexibility. Puppies have to learn how to use stairs. As you can see, it isn’t easy. And it helps if Baby Dog has a big dog for a teacher.

 

Rabbit to the Rescue

Somehow this kitten got stuck in the bunny’s cage; and the bunny takes up the challenge of getting him out. But how? It’s a tricky proposition when you don’t have hands.

Yes, it takes the bunny four minutes to get the kitten out of the cage. We need not hold our breath waiting for the cat to show its gratitude.

Free Spirits! (Squirrels)

One of the joys of life in eastern North America is… squirrels.

We love to watch them wrestling with twigs, tackling their own tails, jumping up and down, spinning around–and why do they do it?

Because they’re squirrels and it suits them just fine!

Fierce Bad Kittens

It is said of President Millard Filmore that he, when he wasn’t trying to invent the game of Clue a hundred years before its time, was terrified of kittens and would walk (or pogo-stick) miles out of his way to avoid them.

It must have been kittens like these that he had in mind. You can hardly blame him, can you?

An Important Message from Birb the Bird

It was only a matter of time before someone dared to go public with this information. That we had to wait for a cockatiel to do it only underscores the gravity of the situation.

But at least he’s eloquent! Nothing could be clearer than his exposition of the problem. Now it remains for us to decide what to do about it…

Dog Stops Tornado In Its Tracks

Who knew this was even possible? Granted, it’s a small tornado, it’s not likely to dump your house into Oz. But it’s a small dog, too. If you had a bigger tornado, you’d need a bigger dog to put it out.

Byron’s TV Listings, Jan. 15

CTVA - US TV Listings - 1964

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with another weekend’s worth of fantastic television, brought to you by Quokka University. Here’s just a bit of the menu.

7:00 P.M.  Ch. 03   JOHNNY POTATO-HEAD–Adventure

What if Mr. Potato Head were a secret government agent, a master of disguise, and all-around nebbish? Ricardo Montalban plays the classic toy with the huge brown head and goofy eyes that pop in and out. Sophia Loren is his comical sidekick, Mrs. Potato Head.

Ch. 11  THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN COCCYX–Detective Drama

John Cassavetes plays Victor Tailbone, the hard-boiled private eye with the golden coccyx that scares the living daylights out of the most hardened criminals. This week: Crime boss Sonje Henie (Mickey Mantle) tries to turn Victor’s pet axolotl (Lorne Greene) against him.

7:18 P.M.  Ch. 12  CELEBRITY SKY-DIVING–Totally stupid risk-taking

You’re a celebrity on your way out, career in ruins… But if you can parachute safely after flying over Perth Amboy, NJ, your comeback is assured. If not… “Well, we never said all our parachutes were in proper working order!” quips host Rip Taylor (who is very lucky not to be a contestant himself). Special guest sky-diver: Pee Wee Herman.

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 28  VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF LAKE HOPATCONG–Drama

The crew of the USS Jerry Mathers won’t let Admiral LaFong (Richard Baseheart) take the sub all the way to the bottom–because of an underwater city inhabited by the June Taylor Dancers. Featured song: My Duodenum Isn’t Working. Guest star: Pinky Lee.

8:00 P.M.  Ch. 45  WHO’S GOT COOTIES?–Game Show

Join host Justin Trudeau as he peers into the depths of contestants’ knickers to see which ones have cooties! The celebrity panel–Abbot & Costello, Patty Duke, Chelsea Clinton, Howard Cosell–has 5 minutes in which to determine who has cooties and where. If they fail, they have to take Trudeau home with them.

968 Quokka Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Well, that’s that! Let the weekend rattle on by while you enjoy nice crunchy leaves and TV programs whose like you’ve never seen before. Quality guaranteed!

‘Should I Smack Him, or Not?’

Here’s a cat who thinks about what he’s going to do before he does it–in this case, smacking a dog who’s off in Dreamland somewhere. The cat carefully calculates the potential cost of startling the dog. Will it be worth it?

See for yourself.

Hard-Boiled Hamster

I hope that headline didn’t strike you as too gruesome.

I never knew a hamster who ate hard-boiled eggs. (And I must be getting better, because that egg sure looks good to me!) It’s not like your turtle, who’ll eat anything. Do we have any eggs in the refrigerator?