Another Comment Contest? Maybe?

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I have had a lot of things distracting me lately. Just now I looked up and saw we have 89,500+ comments.

Normally I’d have a contest for No. 90,000, because it’s a milestone. But I’m late, I’m late!

So I’ll set the goal at 91,000. We can say it’s eccentric.

And so… the lucky reader who posts Comment No. 91,000 will win a) an autographed copy of one of my books, or b) this cool T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost” (I’m wearing one just now), or c) a little bag of plastic army men, suitable for decorating a cake or scaring off gremlins.

Everyone can play, everybody’s eligible–we only rule out comments that are abusive to others on the site, profane, or just too inane to bother with. I don’t mind a bit of piffle, but one does have to draw the line somewhere.

The contest officially begins…. now!

Coming Unstuck

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Well, I’ve finished another chapter of Ozias, Prince in Peril. It looks like the boy king and his mother will have to come out of Lintum Forest and fight for his throne. The usurper Maressa, her hunters having failed to find and kill the king, has resorted to even more underhanded methods to draw them out.

Now I have to move on to a Newswithviews column. We are governed by persons who really have it in for us, and I suppose it doesn’t matter how that happened–we have to get rid of them. Before they get rid of us.

See you again around suppertime, with another critter video.

Stuck!

How Much Honey Could Winnie The Pooh Really Eat?

I have to write a Newswithviews column today, and don’t know what to write about. I want to continue writing my book, but yesterday I poured myself into it and now I need a refill. I really need more blog posts, but nothing suggests itself. My wife says I need a vacation. Lots o’ luck with that!

I know what I’ll do. I’ll go pick up our laundry. (Gee, I could skip ahead and write Byron’s TV Listings, but then I’d have a great big hole to fill on Saturday.) With or without ideas, you’ve got to have clean laundry.

There’s a lesson in there, if I could only find it…

I guess I could always go out and threaten our democracy. Anybody up for that?

‘Get OUT There, Lee!’

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It’s a knock-out gorgeous beautiful day! And I’m sitting here trying to dream up a blog post that’ll bring in readers.

Look alive, man! This weather won’t last much longer–only 11 days left in September. (Yeah, I know the month just started. Waddaya want from me?) You have a book to write, it’s going to be a good one, you already know what the next chapter’s going to be–what’re you doing indoors?

All right, I’m goin’, I’m goin’! Mustn’t waste this glorious weather.

Maybe the readers will come while I’m not looking.

Why Cover the Nooze At All?

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It’s always a relief to go nooze-free on the weekend; but the question inevitably arises: If it’s such a drag, why cover nooze at all? Well, I have my reasons. Here are some of them.

*The country is not OK and very badly needs help. Millions and millions of people don’t see that. If they did, we wouldn’t be in the shape we’re in.

*Refusing to do things God’s way way leads to nothing but trouble. There’s not one sin I can think of that can’t be avoided by keeping God’s word. Yes, if we could do it on our own, which we can’t, we wouldn’t have needed a Savior. We can’t sanctify ourselves; but we can at least repent our sins and try to do better.

*The people who want us to think they’re smart are really the dumbest dindles in the room and we should never, ever, listen to them. We can only hope some people catch on when elite idiocy is exposed, usually by mockery.

*We need a break so we can stay sane. I do, at least.

*It’s good for us to have fun together! Christian fellowship is good in itself, and it certainly doesn’t hurt to let non-Christians in on it, too. Maybe we’ll discover we can like each other.

Trying to Catch Up… Again!

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I’m way behind in my work today, the viewership is way down–and the WordPress problem that I had last week, with the comments failing to display… it’s baaaaack!

Man, this is getting old. Welcome to the Age of Nothing Works.

(And suddenly Robbie only wants dry cat food… What’s that about?)

Going about my chores last night, a new character for the book I’m writing, Ozias, Prince in Peril, popped into my head, along with what she’d be doing in the story. I’ve learned that it’s usually a good idea to stop what I’m doing and write it down in case I forget it overnight. Enter Aylen, the old nurse of the late King Flosi, who may have a loose screw somewhere but is otherwise sharp as a tack.

Where do these characters live when they’re not breaking into my plots? It’s so cool, the way that happens. It’s like I knew these people, once upon a time, and now they’re coming back. Do you think that’s weird? Welcome to the world of fantasy-writing.

Portrait of Norbert

They don’t make as many Norbert videos as I’d like, but I thought I’d post this portrait photo just so you could see him. As far as I know, he’s still working as a therapy dog.

So far, so good with the computer today. I’m praying for a nice, quiet day. Maybe a bit of Norbert’s what we need.

Normal Service [Laughs Hysterically, Carted Off in Straitjacket]

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I have been forced to change computers this morning, having wasted 40 minutes of my life trying to get the [censored] laptop to do anything more than thumb its nose at me. I start the day an hour behind in my work.

You may have read yesterday about Phoebe’s dashboard clock. I think it awakened a competitive spirit in my equipment. “Let’s show that clock what Nothing Works really looks like!”

So… if you were wondering what happened to me this morning… freakin’ nothing!

A Movie I Would Like to See [Byron Takes Over]

(Byron the Quokka has been appointed Interim Manager–he prefers the term “quaestor”–of this blog. Please address all complaints to him.)

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There’s a movie I’d just love to see, but I don’t know that it exists. In fact, its kind might not exist. There might be no movie like this.

Okay, it’s a lost city movie. Ah–but what do all “lost city” movies and TV shows have in common? They’re all inhabited. Like in that Wagon Train episode in which they find a lost city of the Aztecs–full of Aztecs.

But in this probably nonexistent lost city movie, the city is uninhabited. Nobody home. Protagonists discover it, go in for a look around. No sign of anybody… ever. Past or present.

Aha! But the city isn’t totally uninhabited. You might even say the city is haunted. Ghosts? Well, let’s just say “entities that you’re better off not encountering.” Turns out there’s a reason why this city is lost; and it should stay that way.

Gee, I’d like to see that movie.

[Quaestor’s Note: Watch, he’s gonna blame me that there’s no lost city movie with ghosts in it! Dude, I’m supposed to be trying to rebuild your viewer numbers! And I haven’t posted my TV listings yet, either. *sigh* Well, Grandpa always said whenever they give you a promotion or a raise, they up your workload.]

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I’m Stuck!

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Kirk DouPonce has designed a cover for Behold!, and I was looking forward to sharing it with you today… but it has vanished into the ether, not a trace of it to be found.

As for writing up the nooze–

Well, I’m stuck. I feel like all the stories I could write, I’ve already written! And more than once, too. I mean, how many times do I have to report that our “education” system is a travesty, a ruin, a self-parody–almost as bad as our politics? How many times can you say that?

Let’s pretend that you’re my editor. Hey, boss–what do you want me cover today? (Did I mention that our freakin’ computer hutch fell apart this morning? These things infallibly happen on holiday weekends. It’s proof that gremlins infest our homes.) Ach, maybe I’ll think of something.

One more nooze post, and then a cat or dog video… or even a toad video… anybody up for a toad video later on?