Tag: lee duigon blog

Byron and His Mom REPRINT

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From May 29, 2019

Lee is outside writing The Wind from Heaven, his new book, and he said I could post one more picture here–but just one, he doesn’t want the whole family album.

This is me and my mom. Her name is Francesca. That used to be Robbie the cat’s name, but she didn’t want it so my mom took it. I am supposed to be learning how to run this blog when Lee’s not here. My mom says she always wanted me to be a blogger. A lot of quokkas have blogs, but not many people know that. You’d be surprised how many famous blogs are really quokka blogs.

I guess I will take a break now and see if there are any french fries available.

Honest, I Was Kidding REPRINT

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From December 15, 2019

Joe Collidge at rest

I’m a little daunted by the inexplicable success of Friday’s “Joe Collidge” post, “Trumpt he Is Finnished.” It had only seven views the day it came out: “Laid an egg with that one,” I thought. But Saturday it had 27–unheard-of! And this morning, ten more.

Just for the record, President Trump is not “Finnished” by any means, although we can surely hope the freakin’ Democrats are. Here in New Jersey, one of our Democrat Congressman is so disgusted with the dum-dum on Capitol Hill, he has announced his intention to turn Republican.

One of the perils of writing satire is that someone might take it seriously. I try to stay outside the bounds of credibility when I write satire, but the boundaries of real-world silliness are expanding all the time. What’s satire today may well be news tomorrow.

The “Joe Collidge” pieces are written with satirical intent, as a commentary on the blustering, blithering twaddle that calls itself “higher education.” If Joe ever says anything that turns out to be true, it’s pure accident. He certainly wouldn’t do it on purpose.

So don’t be afraid of anything he says. But be afraid of an “education” system that cranks out liberals. Be very afraid of that.

Our Mission Statement REPRINT

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From July 17, 2019

Thanks to a comment made by Heidi this morning, I’ve been thinking about how to define the purpose of this blog. It was originally set up to promote my Bell Mountain books and hopefully stir up sales; but it has since grown into something more.

It’s not something I set out to do on purpose; it just sort of happened. Much of the credit goes to you, the readers. Together we have done enough to give birth to a mission statement. And here it is. Here’s what this blog is supposed to do.

Provide a place for Christian fellowship, including the posting of hymns, hymn requests, prayer requests, reblogs of posts on other Christian blogs, and Bible study. I love it when readers get to talking to each other. Nor do you have to be a Christian to be allowed in: the door is open to you, too. It’s important for us to comfort, encourage, counsel, inspire, and teach one another.

Praise the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, and the works of God the Creator, proclaim the Lordship of Christ, and assert His crown rights as the King of kings.

Outreach. This blog is a small part of the larger ministry of the Chalcedon Foundation.

Provide opposition to, and skepticism for, the pretensions of secular humanism–the climate change cult, Darwinism, transgender, and all the rest of those Really Smart Ideas that are actually abominable and stupid. The highest card in their hand is their claim to being vastly more intelligent than ordinary people–a claim that must be regularly and vigorously challenged. They deserve to be satirized, and I try to provide that. Hence Joe Collidge.

Provide good humor, pleasant memories, and fun. A good laugh is the gift of God. So is a happy memory. Hence features like “Oy, Rodney” and Memory Lane. And the comment contests, the quokkas, etc.

And yes, I’m still trying to promote my books along the way.

Anyway, that’s our mission–and we’re doing it together.

Cuscus and Baby REPRINT

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From July 17, 2019

Somewhere in the treetops in the jungles of New Guinea, a momma cuscus grooms her rather hefty child–that’s the big white thing scrunched up in her lap.

Byron the Quokka assures me that business will take off “like a bloomin’ rocket” if I hire a cuscus to assist him him managing my blog contests. He’s up to something, depend upon it.

Well, I remain open to persuasion. Toss in your two cents, anybody, if you want to. I have to get on to some nooze coverage.

Byron Tackles ‘Oy, Rodney’ REPRINT

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G’day, everybody! Byron the Quokka here, with Chapter CCCXLII of Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney.

[Nothing is written for an hour, to indicate an hour going by.]

What the dickens is this? Something about some unemployed shepherd with d damaged coccyx, and these twins, the Pottery sisters, Febrile and Facile. Come on, now! What kind of names are those? And I don’t want to know how to make twinkies with a toothpaste filling!

Y’know, that guy Unknowable had the right idea: wait till the Old Man’s better, and let him deal with this. By Jove, I’ll run contests for him till we’re both blue in the face, but trying to read and make sense of Oy, Rodney is just not on the cards for me. Just the one chapter that I read–sort of!–was enough to make my own coccyx hurt–and I don’t have one!

Management will endeavor to restore normal service as soon as management stops feeling like death warmed over.

 

By Request: Byron’s Baby Picture REPRINT

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From May 29, 2019

While I grow older and vegetate in the doctor’s waiting room this morning, we have a request from “Unknowable” for Byron the Quokka’s baby picture. Always happy to oblige, so here it is.

There is, of course, a whole family album to trot out; but Byron eschews celebrity status. I am not sure he knows what “eschews” means. The last time I used that word, he said “Gesundheit.”

Byron’s TV Listings (May 29) REPRINT

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David C. Tucker, Author: When TV Was Simpler

From May 29, 2021

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with a sample of this weekend’s spectacular TV broadcasts brought to you by the crew at Quokka University–just in time for Lee’s porch party! Without further ado:

2:30 P.M.  Ch 09  GENGHIS MY FOOT!–Drama

Brought back to life by a mad scientist (former California Gov. Jerry Brown), Genghis Khan (Mickey Rooney) is elected mayor of Hangem High, CT, and immediately sets out to conquer all of North America–after he recruits a Mongol horde. Mrs. McFlop: Eve Arden. Ghost: Fernando Lamas

Ch 12  GROW IT & SHOW IT–Gardening

Guest Luther Furbag has bred brown flowers “that look like they’re already dead.” Host: Nature Boy Buddy Rodgers. With Carl Sagan and his orchestra.

2:47 P.M. Ch 21  PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE–Politics

Top candidates for the presidency of the Bilgewater Fishing Club, Francis X. Fimbo and Don Diego Shaughnessy, square off on foreign policy, Climate Change, economic recovery, and blind dates. Featuring the June Taylor Dancers.

3:00 P.M.  Ch 03   THE ARACHNIDS–Sitcom/Suspense

Can a family of gigantic spiders live the good life in a human suburb? Only if they can learn to fit in! Episode 1: The Arachnids get off on the wrong foot with their neighbors when Muffy (Chelsea Clinton) eats Mr. Prigg’s dog. Directed by Jack Webb (who else?). Mr. Prigg: Edward Platt. Daddy Spider: James Arness. Grandma Spider: A real spider blown up to colossal size.

Ch. 15 PC POLICE SQUAD–Grime Drama

Hair-raising tales of misgendering, microaggression, and cultural appropriation, with only Lt. Kaydence Jugular (Jane Fonda) and her Bias Response Team standing between the human race and offensive language. Filmed inside a cement mixer! Sock puppets by Ralph Lauren and Carl LaFong.

There you have it! What’s a porch party without great stuff on TV?

Am I Out Of Gas? Am I Out of Potatoes? REPRINT

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Land to the tiller | Cat questions, Funny cat memes, Wild cats

From June 3, 2022

I feel like an empty burlap bag.

Maybe it’s because we never get two sunny days in a row around here. That gets to you after a few months. Maybe it’s because nobody living under this roof feels exactly in the pink. Maybe it’s just the nooze wearing me down. Or some combination thereof.

And where is everybody?

All these maintenance errands to do today. Supermarket. Bank. Convenience store (not really convenient at all). Call doctor’s office. Try to get prescriptions refilled, drive to the mall and stand in line, waiting to pick them up. How do I do all that and still do my work?

Ai-ya, time to take my blood pressure…

P.S.–Are any of you seeing these posts as real light-grey letters on a white background, almost impossible to read? That’s what it looks like at this end. *Sigh*

A Fun Part of Blogging REPRINT

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From January 29, 2019

One of the things I enjoy about my blog is seeing what countries its readers come from. There’s a world map with that day’s readers’ countries colored in, and a column of flags where it says how many readers checked in from each country. Even better, WordPress keeps a running total going back to the beginning of my blogging history.

So far I’ve had readers from 189 different countries. I mean, it’s just so cool to see a flag pop up for Andorra or Paraguay or the Cook Islands–places my globe-trotting aunts never visited. It’s fun in the same way collecting stamps or foreign coins is fun.

I’ve got almost all of Europe by now, but I’m still waiting for views from Liechtenstein, San Marino, and the Shetland Islands. I think the coup that would tickle me the most would be to get a view from Easter Island: thinking of somebody sitting by one of those great stone heads with his laptop, reading Oy, Rodney. And how delighted I was by my first view from Mongolia!

I wonder if I’ll ever complete my collection. It seems unlikely, but heck–once you’ve gotten views from Laos, anything is possible.

Is the Lord Trying to Tell Me Something? REPRINT

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Extinct hoofed animals looked like gorilla-horse | Earth Archives

 

From June 15, 2020

Knuckle-bear and calf, Lintum Forest

I am so not ready to go back to writing about the Chinese Communist Wuhan Death Virus, riots, soulless white liberals, and all that other schiff that everybody else is writing about. I am so not up for it, it isn’t funny.

That’s not like me. Usually on Monday I’m ready to wade back into the hurly-burly. So why am I thinking that today I’d like to work on my new book and put up a few blog posts that have nothing to do with Far Left Crazy trying to murder our country? I mean, we have to fight them, and we have to win.

But is God telling me, “I will fight them, boy. You go write your book”?

Yeahbut, yeahbut–Lord, what about my Newswithviews column?

“You don’t even know what you want to write for that. If I told you to sit down and write it today, you’d be stuck. So don’t worry about it.”

Tomorrow, then. I’ll get back into the melee tomorrow. I guess.