Tag Archives: lee duigon blog

Welcome to My Blog

smiling lizard #smiling #lizard #yellow | Funny animals, Animals ...

I had to run off to the eye doctor this morning to try to get a sample bottle of my eye drops, which would otherwise cost me several hundred dollars at Walmart. I mean, they give them out when they have them, so it’s not so unusual for patients to enjoy this benefit. Happily, they had some to spare today.

So I’m off to a late start blogging, and as has been the rule for all July so far, the views and comments are down [note to Byron: Weren’t you going to fix this?], and the nooze is just so awful, I shrink from covering it. I’m already wondering if I’ve written too much about the nooze and chased people away because enough already.

It looks like rain, but until that’s a fait accompli (or a fait worse than death), I want to sit outside and work on my new book. I’m still using Behold! as a working title, although I’m not wild about it. If there are any really deep Bell Mountain fans out there and you want to suggest a title–well, I’m writing the book, but I know only a little more about it than you do. Titles was always my weak suit as a horror novelist, all those many years ago. I’ve done much better with my Bell Mountain series, but this time I think I need more inspiration. Or at least some helpful hints from the fans in the stands.

And look at that–another 15 minutes spent.

I have to work just as hard to have a bad day with the blog as a good. Shouldn’t the government, like, help me with that? Shouldn’t they redistribute blog views so everybody gets the same?


Catching Up?

8 extraordinary video moments from 2019 - CNN

I spent the weekend avoiding the nooze. A friend tells me that’s just sticking my head in the sand. I prefer to think of it as trying to avoid burnout.

Our free & independent nooze media want us to think everybody’s lined up with Only Black Lives Matter, you’re all alone out there, you must be a racist. They want us to think the whole country’s falling apart, so they show endless hours of video from a few Democrat cities that really are falling apart because of their Democrat masters’ insane policies and unlimited corruption.

The guests on my chess page are in full surrender mode: America’s doomed, bad guys win, nothing we can do to stop it, etc., etc. Crikey. We sank the Yamato and wiped out the Hermann Goering Division–and we’re going to get conquered by the New York Times and the American Federation of Teachers?

So I’ve been all morning trying to figure out what to write, my viewership is way down, I don’t want to cover nooze that everybody else has already covered, and I just can’t get it into gear. (I’ll take some hymn requests, if you have any!)

On the plus side, our two computers, having heard my wife order a new modem, have decided to behave. “See? We don’t need a new modem! We weren’t really driving you crazy with one problem after another for a solid week–that was sunspots!”

Oh… And the Surgeon-General sez face masks are “symbols of independence and freedom in America.” Y’mean like, say, fetters? Chains? A number branded on your forehead?

Ahhh…. Never give in. Never, never, never, never give in.


All Right, We’ll Have Another Comment Contest

Meet quokkas - the happiest animals on Earth

G’day, faithful readers! Byron the Quokka here–and Phoebe has convinced me to start another comment contest, and Lee wasn’t sure about it, so I said, “Leave it up to me! It shouldn’t be too hard to get this blog humming again.”

As of just now, we have 61,981 comments. We shall set the next target at 64,000, in memory of the famous $64,000 question. And the prize will be–

Sixty-four thousand dollars! [Blood-curdling scream offstage.] Poor chap, he just can’t take a joke. He won’t even offer a bicycle for a prize. So of course it’ll be an autographed copy of his new book, His Mercy Endureth Forever.

Now, how long will it take us to rack up some 2,000 more comments? Search me! But as long as we have fun doing it, who cares?

We have half a year left to achieve the blog’s first-ever 12,000-view month, which we’ve only just missed twice already.

I wonder if we could offer a scholarship to Quokka University. That’ll pack ’em in. But I’ll have to wait till he calms down a bit before I mention that.


Aaaaaagh!

We keep getting kicked off the internet today and I can’t post my posts. Maybe this one will work, maybe it won’t.

If I disappear for several days, please rest assured that I’m practically tearing out what’s left of my hair, trying to get the problem solved.


What’s the Next Contest?

50 Quokka Facts: Smiling, Baby-Flinging, Selfie Kings ...

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, happy to report that the prizes for the last two comment contests have gotten to where they were going and it would be okay to start a new comment contest if it wasn’t still too soon to do it.

Y’know, we’re trying to start a world-class university here, aren’t we? They don’t just spring into existence out of nowhere, do they? Like Athena from the forehead of Sherlock Holmes. No, fellow mammals–it takes a lot of work, meticulous planning, and constant care. Otherwise these college types show up and turn it into Stupidville. That is not on the program for Quokka U.!

But what does Lee want me to do? Run more contests! Like I’ve got all this time on my paws! Can I help it if the blog’s month of July fell flat on its face coming out of the starting gate? Who do I look like–Walt Disney? (Actually we have a quokka who’s a dead ringer for Walt Disney: you couldn’t tell them apart.)

Yeah, I remember, we had the Bell Mountain Movie contest that everybody wanted to read about but only three readers ever entered. There was something wrong with that contest, but I don’t know what: it was before my time. Maybe if he had a quokka running it… But I am not going to volunteer to run a second movie contest!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m trying to get Flora Fauna, the creator of The Smallpox Twins, to come here as a guest lecturer.

 

 


It’s Not My Fault!

Figure on cliffside walkway holding head with hands

Please bear with me! The Internet is giving me fits today. If it looks like I’ve deserted my post, the truth is, my post has deserted me.

I have been trying to keep this blog going today, but I keep getting kicked off the Internet, can’t connect with this, can’t connect with that, and yesterday the guys from Optimum were in the neighborhood climbing telephone poles… and that can’t be good.

If you’re here looking for new material that I can’t post today because the #@$#@ machine’s not working, please stick around to browse among the archives.


Holy Moly! Back to Normal!

Loey ✨ on Twitter: "@SsssamanthaaMUA I actually just googled ...

Well, how about this! After the WordPress happiness engineers gave up on my case yesterday afternoon (“Probably a browser problem, can’t fix it from our end”)–like, just a couple of hours afterward–I was attempting to post a cat video. Several difficulties arose.

And then, suddenly, as if by magic–my whole site went back to normal! Suddenly I didn’t have to log in every time I wanted to move from one page to another. Suddenly I had my “Edit” function back–along with the “My Site” button and the little bell to alert me to messages.

I contacted WordPress again to ask them if they’d done something that they hadn’t thought of while they were giving up, and they were honest enough not to take credit for it.

Could it be your prayers? A few of you, you told me, prayed for my computer problems to cease and desist.

What can I say? It sure looked like the answer to a prayer.


Hello, Hello… ?

Image result for images of listening intently

This may be, well, is, an unanswerable question: Have any of you out there been unable to connect to this site today? Our computers have been acting really screwy all day, and they’re not connected to each other, they don’t share problems–so could it be the Internet itself is suddenly all pear-shaped? And of course if you can’t connect, you can’t reply to the question.

All the same, maybe some of you have had Internet problems on and off, throughout the day. I wasn’t able to find anything online about there being an outage or sunspots or Black Rodney up to no good.

If you’ve heard or if you know about any widespread Internet prombles today, I’d appreciate hearing about them.


Testing!(again!)

Last night the viewership was so low, I thought my computer might be broken. This morning it refuses to post hymns. Now I’m trying to see if I can post anything at all.

Do I even dare try a picture?

Image result for images of rhinoceros

Dig it: I can post a picture of a rhinoceros, but not a hymn.

Please bear with me today. I’ll have to try to get the other computer working.


Prizes Sent!

275 Quokka Photos and Premium High Res Pictures

Just to let you know: Lee has sent out the comment contest prizes to “Watchman” and Ina. I don’t know what the holdup was, they’re only books. Meanwhile, behind me there’s another one of those bicycles that somebody left just standing there, obviously they don’t want it–what a swell prize that would make! I have also suggested that maybe the winner ought to win a boat, but he won’t listen.

P.S.–Some readers want to know why I’m called Byron the Quokka, when I live on Rottnest Island with all the other quokkas. It would be like calling some guy who lives in New York Alfie the Human.

Well, crikey–how would you like to have a middle name like “the”? I can’t answer the question and it would only exasperate me to try. Let some mysteries remain mysteries!

 


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