COVID ‘n’ Climbit Change (Perfect Together!)

Grinning Kim Jong-un sits yards away from party officials after emerging  from hiding amid coronavirus pandemic

Meet Mr. Government!

My wife yesterday took a You.gov survey in which the questions persistently stapled together the Climate Change gotterdammerung and the COVID apocalypse, as if they were the same thing, or a package deal. I wish I could reproduce it for you, but the survey disappears as soon as you submit the answers, and it is not reproduced on the You.gov website.

Apparently King COVID is supposed to teach us to love and trust Big Brother, aka the all-devouring state. Otherwise we’re all gonna die. If de germ don’t get us, de climbit change will–only de guvvamint can save us, can you gimme hallelujah!

The questions were weird. Like, as a result of the COVID pandemic, what actions do you think the government should take to deal with Climate Change? Now that we’ve had COVID, what will you do to reduce your carbon footprint?

Oh, the Great Reset globalist varmints would love to link King COVID with Climate Change, nee Global Warming, which always sounds ridiculous with large portions of the country freezing their kiesters off! They really thought Climate Change would be the magic carpet upon which they would ride to total power over everyone–but they kept getting caught lying and cheating, and they could never seal the deal. But then along comes COVID, and this time we really honest-to-pete ARE gonna die, or at least untold millions of us, we really are gonna die unless we OBEY all the government’s mandates–! [Pause to hyperventilate]

So they’re telling us “America is closing in on half a million COVID deaths!” and no one, not a soul (if they have souls), among our Free & Independent Nooze Media Inc. ever calls ’em out on it! “Dr. Fauci, can you prove that 500,000 Americans have actually died of COVID, and not of a wide assortment of other serious causes, like heart disease–in which the COVID was just the last bit of poison icing on the cake? Can you prove that, sir?”

In a pig’s eye he can.

So You.gov joins the parade, marching behind King COVID with a little pooper-scooper–destination, world government. Try it, you’ll like it! Honest, we’ll give you your freedom back the moment you ask for it.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

‘Jail for “Climate Change Deniers”–the Ball’s Already Rolling’ (2016)

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Back in 2016, seventeen state attorneys general, all Democrats, were campaigning to have it declared a crime to disbelieve in Man-Made Climbit Change.

Jail for ‘Climate Change Deniers’–the Ball’s Already Rolling

Along came Donald Trump to poop their party; but now that the entire ruling class has finally taken him down, now that they’ve stolen our country out from under us–look for this movement to be started up again. They want to make it a crime to hold a particular opinion. If that doesn’t sexually excite liberals, nothing will.

Our leaders, our institutions, and our very laws have failed us. We have nothing left but our prayers, and no one left to defend us but our God.

Keep praying… and see what He does.

‘Saudi Scientists “Admit”… What?’ (2017)

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How refreshing! Scientists candidly admitting they’re ashamed of the state of science today, especially in their own countries–but of course these were Saudi Arabian scientists, not American or British.

Saudi Scientists ‘Admit’… What?

At least these Saudi scientists know they’re just whistlin’ Dixie. Here in America, our scientists hop into bed with Democrats as soon as you wag a dollar bill at them.

Question: What do you get when you mix science and politics?

Answer: Politics!

See? We Told You They’re Crazy

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A “god” of… what?

Ooh-ooh! We can turn off Global Warming!

All we’ve got to do is dim the sun!

Drawing a paycheck from the New York Times gives you a license to babble. So we have the Times’ Ezra Klein–no known expertise in anything–babbling about how we’ve got to “dim the bleeping sun” and face up to the risks of God knows what catastrophe… to stave off Climate Change, blah-blah (https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/business/joseph-vazquez/2021/02/10/insanity-ny-timess-klein-ponders-having-dim-sun-fight).

What does he mean, “dim the sun”?

This idea has been floating around for a few years. They want to fill the atmosphere with tiny particles (allegedly harmless calcium carbonate) to reflect sunlight before it can heat the surface of the planet.

All sorts of people are pleading that this not be done–because no one knows what the effects will be. Proponents are talking about screwing around with enormous natural forces, infinitely complicated, that no one fully understands. What could possibly go wrong?

Klein quotes another birdbrain: “We are as gods, and might as well get good at it.” Yowsah. We’ve been pretty shabby gods so far. Gotta improve. And we will, we will! Because these plans are being hatched by “very, very smart people.”

And guess what! Bill Gates is on board with dimming the sun! You know, Bill Gates–the billionaire who says there are too many people in the world and the population has to be cut way back. It seems a wise policy to be against anything Bill Gates is for.

Mr. Klein and his playmates think they’re cut out to be gods.

But they should stick to what they’re really good at–being fools.

‘Now It’s Sandwiches Causing Global Warming’ (2018)

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Hooray for the University of Manchester! They found a whole new thing to fret about

Sandwiches.

Now It’s Sandwiches Causing Global Warming

The misanthropes in charge of pillaging the public and wasting our money would like to take away our sandwiches, too. Well, we know they want us peasants to live on bugs and weeds.

Let’s see what they live on, if our leaders ever do their duty by us and defund the universites.

Defund the colleges, not the police.

I amb A Vicktum of Climbit Chainge!!!!

Image result for images of wearing shorts and hawaiian shirt in snow

It snowded reel Hard “the” other Day and wooden yiu Know It,, thare was “alll” these hear Biggits And Haters saying This it prooves Globle Wharming it is ca-ca!!!!!

So to schutt themb Up we done a Demminstriation thawt Up “by” us The Stoodint Soviet to proove It Was the Wharming “that” maid It snowe!!!!! Whel wee hadded to Do Somb Thing abuot that!!!!!! We desidid wee wood awl whare Shoarts and thoze Howwhyin shirtes the ones “Whith” flours on themb,, to proove it whasnt Coled Out Syde!!!!!

And dampit i amb Sick agenn!!!!!!!! i slipt “on” “the” Iyce and banged My Hedd!!!!! it was reel badd,, thay hadded To “taik” me to The Infurmury for X–Raze and the nourse she sayed The X–Raze of “my” hedd thay Showd Nothing!!!!!! I mussed edmitt “that” was A Releaf!!!!!!!!! One “of” my Moth Antenners it got bended in haff tho!

I nevver knowded “this” Befour,, butt Being Too Hot it is jist eggzackly “The” saim as Being Too Coled and i doughnt Know How yiu wood evvar Tell “the” Diffrints!!! Climbit Chainge it is Verry Trickky!!

So i has Got “to” staiy In the Infurmury foar a wile Untill thay “figgre” Out watts wrowng whith me!!! I doughnt feeel so Goood!!!!

‘Consensus? What Consensus?’ (2018)

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I’m looking out my window at over a foot of Global Warming snow.

“There’s a consensus!” That civilization causes Global Warming/Climbit Change/Whatever. Yeah, right.

Consensus? What Consensus?

Here’s 485 published scientific papers that say your consensus is all wet.

But Climbit Change treaties and mandates (not legislation–why go to all that trouble?) are a big part of putting us peasants in our place. Our job in this world is to be ruled, herded, ordered about, picked on, terrorized, bullied, and robbed. “Their” job is to do it.

‘What Do You Think? (Or Do You Just Not Think At All?)’ (2013)

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Soon enough, I guess, thinking itself will be forbidden. You’ll have to state that you believe in Climbit Change. Because it’s part of the way communists control people, making them say things they know to be untrue.

What Do You Think? (Or Do You Just Not Think At All?)

Our country is now about to enter a dark tunnel with no guarantee of ever coming back out into the light. In the most shameful moment of our history, we have surrendered to a massive fraud whose perpetrators, our nation’s home-grown enemies, intend to murder our republic.

If God does not rescue us, we shall have no rescue.

‘Knowing Things That Aren’t True’ (2013)

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Acme False Facts, Guaranteed 100 % Untrue, are fun. But the false facts that shape public opinion and public policy, they’re not so much fun.

Knowing Things That Aren’t True

We believe a lot of things that aren’t true. Believe? No–we know these things! Because someone told us. We heard it somewhere. Yeah, it was on NPR. Man-Made Climate Change. Systemic Racism. Things that other people made up.

Every time a truth is told, a Democrat breaks out in hives.

‘Beat Global Warming: Don’t Work!’ (2013)

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Don’t work, be happy!

As “Unknowable” pointed out, imaginary problems requre imaginary solutions!

Like this one.

Beat Global Warming: Don’t Work!

Yeah, this’ll work! Everybody stop working, and The Government will give you all the free stuff you need from now on. As an economic theory, this beats rubbing your floor lamp until a genie comes out to grant your wishes. Would you believe it was the product of a “think tank”? More like a drunk tank.

As a fantasy novelist, I believe I’m qualified to say that fantasy can make for great entertainment but is a truly lousy basis for public policy.