Dig this–assorted liberal not-very-useful idiots “confessing” their “climate sins.” I drove to work when I coulda took the bus! I flew out to the West Coast to visit my son! Sheesh, couldn’t he find a wagon train? I can’t stop eating meat! (https://dailycaller.com/2019/09/18/nbc-news-climate-confessions/) I mean, is this pathetic, or what?
The venue for this celebration of the abject is NBC Nooze and its “Climate Confessions” project. News? This is supposed to be news? Is this what a news agency does? Really? Since when? Oh–since they stopped reporting news. Is this what our “free and independent” press has come to?
I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that the “confessers” were either actors hired for the purpose or else entirely fictional characters. But I’m sad to say they probably wouldn’t have to do that. There are probably enough real zombies out there to provide all the “confessions” any Far Left power-grabber could want.
Meanwhile, Climate Change presidential wannabe Bernie Sanders (“Socialism been very, very good to me!”) spends $300,000 per month on private jet travel. But going back to the lifestyle of a tenth-century Scottish peasant is for us, not them.
Ooh! It’s time for my own confession! Almost forgot to confess my climate sins. Wanna make sure my mind is right, when they take over and open up the gulags. So here it is–
Y’know, I just can’t decide what’s the most shameful aspect of this story. Can you?
Having turned them into zombies, it only remains to order them to march. They protest what they’ve been told to protest. It’s both pathetic and appalling.
How many times do we have to say this? The Far Left, the Democrats, will do absolutely anything to acquire power: tell any lie, cook any election, destroy anyone who stands in the way. “Climate change” is their biggest lie to date, and the reason that they cling to it is because they view it as their best chance to create a global government with themselves in charge.
These people are not your friends.
And sending your children to be “educated” at schools run by Far Left teacher unions borders on the suicidal.
Well, now we know why they want all those children’s books in the library touting Far Left Crazy public figures…
This Friday there’s to be another Youth Climate Strike protesting Climbit Change and demanding government action ’cause the world is gonna end in twelves years, etc., etc.–and the New York City schools have given the green light to students to cut classes so they can take part in the protests (https://www.axios.com/climate-strikes-nyc-1m-students-can-skip-school-fdc414c6-1496-4107-85cb-ef6522e4d512.html). In some quarters this is called government sponsorship of a particular opinion and would not be allowed.
And three days later, also in New York City, we’ll have the United Nations Climate Action Summit.” Oh, boy. “Organizers expect millions of people to leave work, home and school” to march for “action” on Climate Change, which used to be Global Warming until it stopped getting warmer.
They think that if they can manipulate enough intellectually defenseless school kids to march mindlessly in protests organized by thieves and liars, they can get us to surrender our freedoms and sacrifice our republic on the altar of world government.
Serves us right for sending our kids to those public schools. We really do have to stop doing that.
Isn’t it wonderful, the way you can rack up college credits by being a bozo, or at least acting like one? All aboard for Columbia’s “Climate Change Games”!
At this point we have to wonder if there’s any genuine education going on at all in any of our colleges and looniversities. Is it only half-baked twaddle anymore? Do you have to prove you’ve become a full-fledged idiot before you get a degree?
The ninnitude in this story was from five years ago, and they have labored on it ever since.
I don’t feel like covering any of the nooze that seeped out of Mordor this morning. I know they want me to cover it, because they want everyone to hear about it–in hopes that some will believe them. But I ain’t bitin’ on that hook.
Instead, I offer these few items of totally made-up nooze. As the person who made them up, I certify there isn’t a word of truth to them.
*No one can find any of the Democrat candidates for president. As of 6 a.m. this morning they were all reported as missing. No one seems to mind.
*A freak snowstorm this weekend buried a Climate Change march in Stockholm, Sweden.
*A new sex robot designed by Okashiio Baka Industries, in Japan, doubles as a toaster-oven when not being used for the more obvious purpose.
*Another Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to former President *Batteries Not Included “on general principles.” The entire Nobel committee was reportedly drunk at the time.
*The new Michael Moore movie opened to completely empty theaters all around the country, earning absolutely no money. Moore has offered a prize to anyone who can prove he or she saw it.
Gee, this is a lot easier than actual reporting. No wonder the nooze media like it so much.
Okay, here’s the highlight of his speech. Ready? You’ll want to learn it by heart. The quote:
“First of all, it is that the person who is to be eaten must be dead.” Give that man a Nobel Prize! Heck, the live ones yell “Ouch!” when you stick a fork in ’em, and keep trying to run away.
You know what a hard time this is for satirists. We make up something goofy and it turns out to be real. Or at least some people believe it to be real.
In their own words, “NPC Daily is a satire site… our content is totally fictitious and is created to elicit laughs and amusement.”
I admit it: I believed this at first. Why not? She has said America can pay for socialism and the Green New Deal simply by printing up more money. How stupid is that?
But she didn’t say get rid of daylight savings to reduce by an hour a day the amount of sunlight Earth receives. It reminds me of the old joke of the stupid astronaut who was going to be the first to land on the sun: “We won’t get burned up because we’ll go at night!”
It’s hard to invent something so preposterous that no one will believe it, when you’re writing about O’Crazy-O-Cortez. Or the Democrat Party in general. How far out do you have to go before it’s too far out even for them? We are talking about a party that features a Congressman, Hank Johnson, who fears the island of Guam will “tip over and capsize” if we put any more Marines on it.
These nimrods sit up there on Capitol Hill and make public policy for our country. That should worry you. I know it worries me.
To help control the natural processes of the earth and make Climate Change stop, the Looniversity of London has banned hamburgers–and all other beef products, too (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=13568). Because cow farts, dontcha know, make methane gas. We’re doomed.
Yes, the looniversity authorities have declared a “climate emergency,” and, like “pro-choice” big shots everywhere, they have erased another choice–the choice to eat a hamburger.
They’ll have to pry my White Castles from my cold, dead fingers.
Unbelief in God always seems to lead to out-of-control statism, as fallible human tyrants try to do God’s job–which they have to, of course, because He doesn’t exist. So now they’ve got to control the climate. Which they do by taking away your hamburgers. And anything else they think you shouldn’t have.
A prediction: Coming soon, to a campus near you–a ban on hamburgers.
All for your own good, as determined by The Smartest People In The World.
Scientists at Settled Science University have discovered the gene that makes people conservatives.
In a grueling two-day study jointly funded by George Soros and a local panhandler named Bob, scientists have identified a gene which they have named “Gene.” When stimulated by Climate Change, Fox News broadcasts, or too much butter in a dish of pastina, Gene the gene “makes people turn to the biggitry we know as conservatism,” says the study’s leader, Dr. Alexa Bathmat.
“All human beings are genetically political progressives,” she explained. “But when Gene the gene kicks in, it all goes haywire.” The scientists on her team are looking for a cure, she says, but because this gene is located primarily in the coccyx, “It makes it kind of hard to get at.”
Until a cure can be found, the scientists have recommended that in any future elections, Republican votes should not count.
“And as a bonus,” Dr. Bathmat added, “having only one political party is a major step toward true Diversity and Social Justice.”
By now everyone but the most wooden-headed Democrats know that “Man-Made Climate Change” is a big fat crock whose only purpose is to serve as an excuse to grow the government–which has already metastasized well beyond what it should be. It’s their ticket to ride–to install socialism, communism, or any other ism which hands them the keys to the jailhouse.
It’s getting so I automatically disagree with demonstrators the moment I see them. I’m that tired of it.
