Author Violet Crepuscular has been busy grading the Oy, Rodney Genius Quiz. Actually, not that busy–only four people, world-wide, bothered to take it. And none of them passed.
“This makes me lachrymose,” she complains. “It will be all I can do to introduce Chapter CDLXXXXVIII of my epic romance, Oy, Rodney!”
The reader will remember (or not) that Lord Jeremy, under duress applied by Constable Chumley’s mother, Sir Lanthelot the Lithping Knight–bear in mind that the woman is somewhat tetched–has discovered a landscape riddled with Easter Island heads. Like these. Just like these.
You’d think any author would jump right in and set about explaining what those heads were doing there–but not the Queen of Suspense. She introduces Chapter CDLXXXXVIII with a recipe for prawns in toothpaste sauce, followed by this:
“Can Lady Margo Cargo be true to Lord Jeremy Coldsore and still love the American adventurer, Willis Twombley–when she is not aware that they are two different people. Three, if you count Twombley’s conviction that he is Sargon of Akkad. This is phloxidation with a vengeance!” Feel free to skip the rest if you know what that means.
If not, please sign my petition to Ms. Crepuscular demanding an explanation of the Easter Island heads. (Yes, I know she’ll say “My readers are revolting!”) We must take a firm line here, or she’ll end up subjecting us to chess puns (“Prawn to King-4!”).