Well!! Us Interllecturals we has got “a” Big Job ahed “Of” us!!! We has to tern al themb Trumpt voaters into Pragressivs!!!!!
Thare “are” ownly abuot 7 thowsind “of” themb but evin “that” it Is a lott!!!!! Thay has got “to be” rownded Up and put “In” spacial Reeeddication Camps and mayby Shot,, too!! becose thay “are” all Biggits and Haters “and” Racists!!!
Heer “at” Collidge we Are seting “Up” a Camp,, thay whil has to spleep in Cardbored Bockxes and ownly ware Undees untill thare Minds are rihght and ownly Then wil thay Urn The rihght to ware shurts “and” shoos!!!!
Ownly then wil thay Be Freee!!!!!!!!!!
Thare can ownle be Freeedum wen yiu has to do Evry Thing the Govvermint says and say Evry Thing the Govvermint says and think Evry Thing that Evry Boddy else thay “are” thinking and witch “The” Govvermint says is O Kay to think!!!!
Haow do yiu Re-Pogrom alll themb Biggits?? Rembemember it is foar thare “own” Goood!!! And aslo “the” ownle reel Freeedum is wen yiu Do “waht” The Govvermint thay “tell” yiu to do!! (Evin Doktor Fochee he says so tooo!!!) This hear It Is a vary impotant Lessen we has lurnt “fromb The” Peeples Repulbick of Chyner!!!!
Aslo thay wil has “to” Kiss the Foot on our Statchoo of Pressadint Obamma!! Then thay “wilbe” trooly Freee!!!!!!!!!!!!
See “that” pixture?? That thare is Our Deen Of Play-Doh and she “is” Shoing us the Faice “of” our noo Idle for us “to” warship Heer At Collidge!!!! It is the Idle of King Vyris!!! and evry boddy thay Has To baow daown “to” It!!!! Becose King Vyris he is goingto help Demmacratts whin al “The” Elexions fromb naow On!!!!!
It “is” impotent to Rememembar “that” this heer It Is Not Relijjin!!!!!! We “are” Interllecturals and we doughnt Beleave “in anny” Relijjin!!!! That is jist foar De-Ploarabbles!!!! and Bitter Clingers jist lyke Pressadint Obumma he sayed!!!!!!! But King Vyrus,, oncet we Set himb Up on Kampas,, he whil Anser Our Prares!!!!!! This heer it “is” cumpleatlee Diffrint fromb Relijjin!!
We “are” goingto Stop awl “the” Haters we are goingto Fix Themb but goood!!!!! Thay are awl goingto catch the Vyris and dye!!!!!!!!!! That is becose The Vyris it willl knot maik Peple Sic iff that are Woke and dooing Riots and otther Socile Jutstus stuph!!!!! It whil ownly kil yiu iff yiu “Are” a Whyte Privlij Biggit!!
And aslo we has toettle cumpleat Freeedim “Of” Relijjin heer at Collidge,, so anny one whoo woont warship King Vyris thay whil be kiccked Out of Collidge!!!!! We doo that to Cree-ate Divercity!!
I hoap we has enuff Play-Doh to maik A Grate Big Idle of King Vyris!!!
If this travesty of an election is allowed to stand, we will see a great deal more of this wicked foolishness in our colleges and universities. They will not get better. They will get worse. Worse even than this.
If there ever was an institution fanatically devoted to the destruction of the society that created it, fed it, and made it grow, that institution is “higher education.” But then leftids have turned all our institutions against us, haven’t they?
Our Stait neaded somb moar Voats for Joe Bydin so the Ballit Harvaster he comed heer “to” Collidge tooday whith a grate Big “bag” and he hadd us rite our Singratures “on” the ballits,, “as menny” as we Whanted untill “The” Bag it was full, i must’of wroted my “X” on a duzzin ballits and then he taked “themb” back to has themb “Counted”!”!
Then we “has” a Big Scair becose we wer All Tagetther on the Kampis and we wer So “Exited” that we fergot Socile Distintsing!!! And the Corny Vyris!!!!!!!! we are “all” goingto Dye!!! But then we Rebembermed that The Vyris it is all For Socile Jutstus and it woont “hurt” “yiu” iff yiu has a Riot,, so we hadded a Riot (i fourget waht we Riotid abuot, it duzznt mater!)!
I aslo did Voat for Hillery and Pressadint Obamma thay “are” My Hearos!!!!! it doughnt seeme Rihght “for thare” To Be ownly one pressadint!!!!!! But the Ballit Harvaster he tolled us “a lot Of things” “thay are goingto Chainge!””!! Somb boddy thay sayed we “are” all Goingto “get” Freee Tooission for Collidge tooo and that “is” Gooood Noose!!!!! I whant to keeep whirking “on” my Deeegree in Nothing Studdies untill i “get” my Batchlers thingy!!!!! And thenn I “can” be a Prefesser!!!!!!!!!!
This was an unusual book review for me to do because the content of Critical/Cynical Theories is about as close as you can come to pure gibberish while still using the alphabet. It’s not the authors’ fault, but that’s what you get when you quote the Far Left Crazy.
The authors, a couple of liberals, fear that the Far Left will go too far and drive everybody else into the arms of the Far Right. Can’t happen soon enough, sez I.
As you plod through the verbal swamps of Far Left babble, you can’t avoid being appalled by the colossal waste that is “higher education”–waste of money, time, effort, and anything else that they can think of wasting. The billions of dollars spent every year to generate this garbage and drill it into the empty heads of gullible students constitutes a sin: the sin of incontinence. The money would be better spent on amusement parks.
The American people need to wake up and realize that they’re being scammed, if not outright robbed. For all the money they spend on higher education, they’re only getting garbage for it. As for the alumni who support these idiot factories with lavish gifts of money, shame on them: they have to stop doing it.
This is the result of insisting that everyone, no matter how intellectually undistinguished, must go to college.
Read a few chapters of this book and see if your head doesn’t start pounding.
O we “are” mad mad mad!!!! Heer at Collidge we “Are” mad!!!
Wen we Got “up” “this” Moarning gess what???? Our Statchoo of Pressadint Obamma it Was gone!!!! Sumb body thay Pullled it Daown and taked it A-way “and” putted This heer Stopid Punkin Hed Man thare in stedd!!!!!
Can yiu beleave It??? Imadjin pullling daown A Statchoo!!! Watt kyned of Hater doez That??? I amb prattickly Be-Syde My Self!!!! This heer It “is” Vandaleism!!!! It “is” a Crymb!!!
Wel thay Arnt gointo Get A-Way whith It!!! We hadded a Eemerjintsy meting of our Stoodint Soviet and we are goingto has a Infestagation of Evry Boddy on Campas!!!! We whil “Not” Stop untill we fyned the Gillty Praty and Get themb throne In Jale Fourevver!!!!! And aslo his Fambly and Frends and peeple who Know themb and thare naybers tooo!!!!!!! We wood throe themb To “the” Allagaters if “we” hadd Any!!!
And aslo we kneed a new Statchoo of Pressadint Obamma so we “can” warship It and a Statchoo of Hillery too and aslo Joe Byden (he Is “so” cool!!!)!!! And any boddy that doughnt Bow Daown to theez heer Statchoos we wil Get “them” kikked Out “of” Collidge!!!!
Sumb-times i jist Cant Beleave the Bad “things” that Haters doo!!!!!!!!!!
Whell nhow i undder-stand wye Jane Fonder she says “the” Vyris “it” “is” our Frend!!! Becose it whil finely Let “us” get ridd “Of” Chrissmiss!!!!!
Czech it Out!! Thare woont be no Santy Claws in nun “of” The stoars this yeer on accownt “of” evry Boddy thay al gets Sick And Die ((!)) iff thay gets two Close “to” eech Other,, unlest “thay” Are dooing Piecefull Protest and seting stufff On Fire!!!! The Vyris it knows! not to Hurt no one whoo is Riotting for Socile Jutstus!!!!!!!
And aslo too yiu “cant” sing no stopid Chrissmiss carals unlest yiu Keeep yur Fays Maask on and jist wisper!!!!
Sea, Chrissmiss it is Hat Speach becose its fore chrisschins and its Got Jesus In It!!!!!! Jesus he “Is” “the” Biggist Hater Biggit of themb all!!!!!!!! Reely thare “is” No Poynt in Banning Evry-Thing unlest yiu aslo Ban Jesus!! and the Bybble!!!! And it is a goood Thing for yiu that yiu got al us Interllecturals to axplane it too yiu becose stopid peeple “whoo” are Not In Collidge thay cant Think “strait”!”! thay doughnt Unnder-Stand nothing!!!!!
So thiss yeer at Our End “of” Yeer Hollowday Praty we are goingto Warship the Vyris and sing Covid carals!!!!! and nhow that we gloode the Hed back on our Statchew of Pressadint Obamma we can Warship himb tooo!!!!!!!!!!
When you run out of serious things to protest, you can protest imaginary things. And when your imagination runs dry–for college students, that takes about three minutes–you can always protest silly things. Like this march for hydroponic cilantro.
It’s going to be a real problem, what to do with these morons after they finally stop going to college. Maybe Democrats could start a war, bring back their beloved draft–never mind. With an army full of college students, we’d surely be conquered.
Yes, our colleges and universities are chock-full of race-baiting swabs posing as professors; but I wish to draw your particular attention to some information given toward the end of the column.
At the University of Pennsylvania, the looniversity’s Chief Diversity Officer earns a salary of $580,000 a year. That’s right–over half a million dollars. And for what?
At the University of Michigan, the Vice Provost for Equity and Inclusion (what the hell–?) and the Chief Diversity Officer are paid $385,000 a year.
Elsewhere, throughout the land, chief diversity scammers are paid $200,000 a year and up.
This is your money, people! You worked for it. You pay it out in tuition and your taxes. And look what you’re getting for it! C’mon–how many of you even know what a “vice provost for equity and inclusion” is? But you’re paying for it.
Stop, stop, stop, stop the waste! Williams suggests the alumni zip their checkbooks shut. Even better if the rest of us simply stop sending our kids there.
Oh–and you’re paying for those disgusting professorial teachings, too.
Like the old high school football chant says, “Hit ’em again, hit ’em again, harder, harder!” We haven’t heard of any college or university that has actually been forced to close its doors. That’s only going to happen if the alumni stop writing checks and the rest of us somehow convince those snorts on Capitol Hill to stop pouring billions of dollars in tax money down the college drain.
It would also be extremely helpful if we stopped sending our kids there. I mean, how badly does anybody need a degree in Gender Studies?