We has Got Unaxplaned femonanimb Heer At Collidge!!!

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Evry Boddy heer we “are” Skaired!!! becose Our Collidge it “is” hawntid “By” a Unaxplaned Paranormble thing,, i “think” mayby it “Is” a Goest butt “it” “mite” be a Dibbick becose it camed Out “Of” a Dibbick Bocks that Somb Boddy thay bawt on Ee-Bay!!!!!

I kno yiu are nhow Assking “well waht Is” a “Dibbick”?” Whell it is soart Of “lyke” a Goest ownly it Comes “In” a Bocks,, soart of lyke Craker Jax!!! and it “is” mutch Meener then a Goest!!! and this heer idjit he Oapinned the Bocks and the Dibbick it Got Out!!!!!

So nhow “it” “is” Hawnting our Marks & Lennon Doarmb and evry Boddy we “are” Awl freeeked Out!!!! This Dibbick is flotes aruound “The” doarmb and maiks Bugs com inta the Roombs and busts lite bolbs and maiks theeze Harrable Noyzes and no One thay cannt Get “no” Sleeep!!!!!!! it maiks me Gladd i amb sleeeping In the Toool Shedd insted “Of” the doarmb!!!!!

i hassnt nevver seed “the” “Dibbick” butt this heer Other gye i know, he seed it and it looks Lyke a Oald Wimmin whith Long Sharp Teeeth and aslo it Smells jist Aawffle!!!!!!!!!! i smelt it oncet!! Yew!!!!!!!!!

No Boddy thay knose haow To “put” that thare Dibbick back In “the” Bocks and our Commassar she sayed This hear “promble it Is “tooo mutch” foar Us,, wee neeed somb munny fromb The Govvermint!!!! befoar we awl Go Crayzy!!!! “Pressadint Bydin he is The Ownly One whoo knoze waht” to do “whith Para Normble Unaxplaned Femominners”!”!” Thay say he Has “a lott” of Axpeariants whith The Unaxplaned”!” So we “are” wryting himb A Lettar!!!

I jist hoap it Doughnt get Out Of “the” Doarmb and taik awhay Our Play-Doh!!!!!!!!

‘”Care Bears” for College Students’ (2017)

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These are supposed to be not children anymore, but young adults. College students. But it’s getting harder and harder to tell them apart from 5-year-olds.

‘Care Bears’ for College Students

Care Bears posters are supposed to help young adults (it only hurts when I laugh!) cope with the stresses of life. Like life as a good-for-nothing college student was anywhere near as stressful as holding down a job or raise a family, or both! Besides, haven’t they got Play-Doh and lollipops to get them through the day? I mean, how stressful can it be, getting a degree in Gender Studies?

College to Offer ‘Antiracism Badges’

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Don’t think that sending your sons and daughters to a Catholic college will protect them from being force-fed a diet of academic Far Left idiocy.

Spalding Looniversity, in Kentucky, plans to award “Antiracism badges” to students who complete a… I guess it’s a course, entitled “Restorative Practices for the Antiracist Journey” (https://www.thecollegefix.com/kentucky-university-offers-badges-in-anti-racism/), and is supposed to teach “cultural humility and restorative practices,” whatever that means. It has a nasty odor to it.

Depending on how well they absorb the indoctrination, students will be eligible for three “tiers” of badges–Bronze, Silver, and Ebony. (You thought they were going to say “and Gold,” didn’t you? No such luck!)

Leftids–and almost all academics are leftids anymore, sharing a hive mind–continue to taint everything with their obsessive focus on race.

They’re marketing this course online, in case the students actually detained there don’t sign up for it.

We will never get the illegitimate government we have now to defund the universities, so the only thing left for normal people to do is to pull their children out of there, pronto, and stop paying tuition.

Can you really picture–maybe I should say, do you really want to picture–a lot of brain-dead students flaunting their Antiracism badges? It’s “cultural humility”! Hate yourself for being white. Humility is one thing. Virtue signalling is quite another.

It is a sin to sow hate and discord among people who would ordinarily be at peace with one another.

Liberalism–it’s Satan’s favorite poison.

‘Now It’s Sandwiches Causing Global Warming’ (2018)

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Hooray for the University of Manchester! They found a whole new thing to fret about

Sandwiches.

Now It’s Sandwiches Causing Global Warming

The misanthropes in charge of pillaging the public and wasting our money would like to take away our sandwiches, too. Well, we know they want us peasants to live on bugs and weeds.

Let’s see what they live on, if our leaders ever do their duty by us and defund the universites.

Defund the colleges, not the police.

I amb A Vicktum of Climbit Chainge!!!!

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It snowded reel Hard “the” other Day and wooden yiu Know It,, thare was “alll” these hear Biggits And Haters saying This it prooves Globle Wharming it is ca-ca!!!!!

So to schutt themb Up we done a Demminstriation thawt Up “by” us The Stoodint Soviet to proove It Was the Wharming “that” maid It snowe!!!!! Whel wee hadded to Do Somb Thing abuot that!!!!!! We desidid wee wood awl whare Shoarts and thoze Howwhyin shirtes the ones “Whith” flours on themb,, to proove it whasnt Coled Out Syde!!!!!

And dampit i amb Sick agenn!!!!!!!! i slipt “on” “the” Iyce and banged My Hedd!!!!! it was reel badd,, thay hadded To “taik” me to The Infurmury for X–Raze and the nourse she sayed The X–Raze of “my” hedd thay Showd Nothing!!!!!! I mussed edmitt “that” was A Releaf!!!!!!!!! One “of” my Moth Antenners it got bended in haff tho!

I nevver knowded “this” Befour,, butt Being Too Hot it is jist eggzackly “The” saim as Being Too Coled and i doughnt Know How yiu wood evvar Tell “the” Diffrints!!! Climbit Chainge it is Verry Trickky!!

So i has Got “to” staiy In the Infurmury foar a wile Untill thay “figgre” Out watts wrowng whith me!!! I doughnt feeel so Goood!!!!

‘Rutgers Students Need Group Therapy After Exposure to Someone Else’s Opinion’ (2016)

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Gee, it’s been a while since Rutgers has called me to ask for money. What part of “Never!” don’t they understand?

Rutgers Students Need Group Therapy After Exposure to Someone Else’s Opinion

The only thing we get out of our “higher education” system is lots of useful idiots to vote for evil Democrats.

That’s why we need to shut it down.

We Kneed A Niew Slowgan!!!

Trial by Ordeal: A Life or Death Method of Judgement | Ancient Origins

I has to Giv Up tryiing “to-be” Joh Bydin he is jist “tooo Grate” foar me!!!! And anyhow we has “got” a niew projjeckt heer foar Our Stoodint Soviet,, We “are” goingto fined out All The trump sapportors and reprot themb to the Arthropods foar “beeing” Demotic Terrawrists!!!!!

Wheight a minnit did i “get” sombthing rawng?? I shoodof sayed “Arthuroraties”??? Well, whatevver!!

Now we has to fined Out whoo voated foar Trumpt and get themb Aresstid!!!!!! It woont be Eezy becoase somb of Themb thay “Are” very Sneeky!!!! thay woont admitt thay Voated “fore” Trumpt!! So whee has got “to” Thinck Up a “”Test””that whil Enaybul us to smoak themb Out!!!!

Our Commasar she hadded a reel Smart idear,, iff we thinck somb boddy thay mite of Voated for Trumpt we shood tye themb Up and throe themb into the Kampis Swimbing Pool and if thay flot then “that” meens thay “Are” Biggit Hater Wite Souprembacysts and then we “Can” has themb Kicked Out “of” Collidge becose yiu Cant has Truoe Dyvercity and Socile Jutstus unlest evry boddy thay Are Awl The Saime!!!!!!!

Nhow the frist thing we gots to doo is,, we has to Thinck Up a Slowgan!!! Yiu kneed a Slowgan so evry boddy “thay whil” Under Stanned wat we has got To Do!! Mayby we cood has a Context to pic the wining Slowgan!!!! I wood lyke “it” to-be No Moar Bad Thawts Aloud!!!!!” it has a wring to it!

Then we “can” get ridd “Of” evry boddy whoos Thawts doughnt Come Out Rihght!!!!!

‘Win a Free Collidge Eddication!’ (2018)

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Washme Hall

Unless my crystal ball has stopped working, we’re soon going to hear a lot of talk about “free college education for all.” What a fabulous idea! But Fimbo College is two years ahead of the curve.

Win a Free Collidge Eddication!

This higher education is practically a guaranteed ticket to a lifetime’s unemployment! And all in return for just a thousand cereal boxtops! That and an official college degree in Gender Studies–what more could you possibly ask?

Waht i Amb goingto Doo whith My Lyfe!!

Hairy Legs High Res Stock Images | Shutterstock

I hased a Brane Strom!!! Nhow i Know jist waht I amb Goingto doo whith My Lyfe!!!! i soddenly reelyzed I has got “the” Saim Naim “as” Pressadint Joe Bydin and “So” i amb Goingto maik My selph Jist eggzackly lyke himb!!!!!!!!!! That whay thare “wilbe” Two! Of! himb so in Caise “one of” Us hasto go in fore Repears thare wil “Still” “be” one leffed Out Syde!!

So I amb whirking on “geting” Hary Leggs jist “lyke” Jo Bydin’s Hary Legs and it woont “be” eezy becose i has got Hardlee “enny” hare on “My” leggs!!!!! butt i doo has Moth Antenners “on” my Hedd and i Can Cohm themb so thay loook jist lyke Joh Bydin’s Hedd Hare!!!!!

Nhow somb boddy thay toleded me i “has” got To Lurn how to Plaguejurize becose that “is” waht Jo Bydin he duz al “The” Tymbe!!!!!!!!!! i has nevvir Plaguejurized nothing befour butt I amb toled that jist aboot Annyboddy thay can “Lurn” “how!”!” Jist taik stuff that somb boddy Elss thay sayed “and” say i sayed itt!!!

Jo Bydin and me tho we whil has “tobe” Cair Full nott “tobe” seeen Two-gethur att “the” Saim Tyme becose thenn somb Biggit Haters thay whil say that “one Of” us he “is” Faik!!!!!! butt as sooon as Jo he gets ridd “Of” the Furst Emendmint thenn That it willbe “No Promble” becose no boddy thay whil “notbe” Aloud to say nothing lyke “that”!”!”

Well i caint harredlee Whait tilll i groh mats and matts of Legg Hares and al the Littel Chilldrin thay wil whant “to” Play whith themb In “the” Swimmbing Poool!!!!!!!!!!

‘Revoke All Their Degrees!’

Coronavirus bursts the US college education bubble | Financial Times

Sinking faster and faster…

Fishmouth Community College has announced a plan to revoke all the associate degrees earned by everyone who voted for President Donald Trump in 2020.

“And not only that!” said College President C. Babbington Whoremaster. “We’re also gonna take back everything they ever learned while they were here!”

The debate now focuses on whether anybody ever did learn anything at Fishmouth.

A Personal Note: I triple-dog dare Rutgers University to take back my degree! In fact, I’m kind of offended that they haven’t yet tried to do that. I mean, come on–I supported President Trump with everything I had! How dare they ignore me? Hey, Rutgers, here I am!

Tell you what. If you want my Political Science degree, you can freakin’ well buy it back! And make sure you adjust for inflation: I want the 2021 cost of tuition.

Y’know, that’s a pretty great idea, if we’re ever in a position to do it: force the colleges and universities to refund the money of anyone who’s unsatisfied with what they got by way of higher education. A lot of goods and services come with money-back guarantees; but I don’t think public education could survive it. Do you?