Lonesome in the Ivied Halls of Ignorance

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Good news! According to the U.S. Census Bureau, college enrollment in America (when last they looked) was down to its lowest point in 20 years (https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2021/decline-school-enrollment.html).

Fewer students in college means fewer unemployable ninnies with big chips on their shoulders. Overall, enrollment is down by about 30%. This would be a serious problem if young people in college were actually learning anything. But I’m sure we can get by with no degrees in Gender Studies, Queer Black Studies, Cisheteronormative Pashtun Studies, etc., etc. Even experts at playing “Battleship” contribute more than those.

We have it stuck in our heads that Everybody Has To Go To College. This has proved to be one of the worst ideas in world history.

I wonder if we’re slowly coming to our senses.

‘Forcing You to Go to College???’ (2018)

Why I send college students to prison: Column

The bars are just there in case they try to escape before their college time is up.

New Mexico had this great scheme a couple of years ago: require (how they love that word!) everyone to apply to at least one freakin’ college as a condition of graduating from high school.

Forcing You to Go to College???

Now obviously I don’t know how this turned out. I strongly suspect it simply sank out of sight. For for them even to contemplate such nonsense calls their sanity into question. Merciful heavens! We are governed by chowderheads who think like this?

There are already way, way, way too many kids in college! And way too many colleges.

As Rutgers Rots

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I can’t believe I paid good money and spent four years getting a degree from this place. Of course, that was a long time ago and it was less in-your-face stupid than it is now.

As Rutgers Rots

This was in 2019 when Rutgers was offering all these “strategies of resistance” pseudo-courses… because we had a Republican president!

Have you noticed how most of this “resistance” simply dries up and blows away as soon as we get some Democrat pinhead in the White House?

We DeManned A Corse oN gEtting Dresst!!!!

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Doughnt lett “this” hapen To yiu!!!

Wow! Fanntatstic!! Printstin Yunavarsitty thay “has Got” “a” Collidge Corse on Haow to Get Dresst!!!! And as sooon “as” we fowneded Out, us at “the:” Stodint Soviet we has De-Manndid to has it Heer!!!!!!

Letts fase It,, waht cood “be” Harder thann Getting Dresst “in” the Moarning?? Like wen yiu axadently putt yore Pants “on” Backkwords and then yore Un-Comfterble alll Day “and” yiu doughnt know Why!!! I dun that Three (#3) tymes lasst weak!!!! and Its reely a pane wen yiu putt Yore Shooze on “the” rawng feeet!!!! and aslo wen yiu looze Cownt of haow menny Shurts yiu got On!! And didd yiu evver Axadently get yore shurt and yore Pants micksed Up??? (I herd Of “a” Base Bawl playyer once whoo done That and thay awl maid Funn “Of” himb!!!]

Nun of themb Things thay wood hapen Iff we hadded a Corse on Geting Dresst!!!!!

I meen,, reely, Haow “Are” yiu saposed To Lern Stuff unlest thay teetch It “to yiu” in skool and Collidge??? Pressadint Jobydin he gone to Collidge and Look haow “he” terned Out!! Immajin haow Dum hee’d Look iff he diddnt Know haow to Get Dresst!!!! Butt i gess yiu Can “say That” abuot A lott of peeple!!!



Go Get ‘Em, Gov!

LIVE: Governor Ron DeSantis Swearing-in Ceremony - 1/3/2023 - YouTube

Ready to rock ‘n’ roll!

We do need more of this. So much more!

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has demanded full financial reports from the state’s universities and colleges to find out exactly how much money they’ve spent on “diversity, equity, and inclusion and Critical Race Theory,” (https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2023/01/05/florida-demanding-every-state-university-system-provide-report-expenditures-related-diversity/).

“We reject this Woke ideology,” he said, adding that Florida will be “the place where Woke goes to die.” He has ordered the state’s Dept. of Education to provide all the figures.

Gee! Ya mean it ain’t fair to suck money out of the public, money that they worked for, and use it to fund a bunch of academic pinheads who despise them and want to tear down their way of life?

The people of Florida, the governor said, have a right to “freedom from having oppressive ideologies” forced “upon you without your consent.”

(Why can’t my state have a governor like that!)

Gov. DeSantis understands that there’s no room on this continent for both America and Woke. Let’s back him up.

My Brush with the People’s Revolutionary Tribunal

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In 1972 I insisted on defending a friend at a “hearing” (LOL–no official status whatsoever!) before the Michigan State People’s Revolutionary Tribunal (self-appointed, self-defined). A former bottle-throwing radical, he’d Betrayed The Revolution by starting a small business. Everybody knows true radicals never sink so low as to earn a living! No! Until some stupid college hires them, they live off daddy and mommy.

Now I was myself only a year out of college, and it would take me decades to outgrow it. But this Marxist play-acting was just too much.

“Where I come from, out East in New Jersey, people like you just get laughed at,” I told them. (How I wish that were true! But I didn’t know any better.) “We gave up tribunals years ago. We don’t talk like you do anymore, either. You’re just college kids who’ll never stop being college kids.”

They were not used to anybody standing up to them. I said to my friend, “Come on, up you go, we’re getting out of here. This is just a lot of crap. You don’t want to spend any more time with these idiots.” They couldn’t believe their ears.

I wonder if they’ve gotten any better at it. They’ve had, like, 50 years to refine their technique. I’d certainly say the looniversities are way Farther Left than they were in 1972–and they were bad enough, then.

If they only had the power, they’d be carting us off to the guillotine.

Are you still okay with having Democrats in charge?

Fitness Is Racist! (Or So They Tell Us)

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I refuse to publish the picture that goes with this… nooze. Here’s a nice tree frog instead.

One more nooze article, this one, and then I’m done for the year. Let 2022 blow one last fart.

Time Magazine has picked up on an associate professor of history’s blather about “The White Supremacist Origins of Exercise” (https://nypost.com/2022/12/30/time-magazine-roasted-for-article-suggesting-exercise-has-racist-origins/). This moron “teaches” at The New School in New York City.

Yesterday it was Sean Penn looking like a homeless wino. Today it’s this unsightly character from The New School. (No, I will not post that picture.) I’m beginning to wonder if spiritual pollution eventually manifests itself physically. 

Well, anyhow, in recent years Far Left Crazy has begun to embrace obesity as some kind of virtue signal. “By their fruits you shall know them,” said the Lord. I didn’t know He meant it literally.

These people, who insist that they’re the brightest of the bright, need to be mocked, need to be laughed at! And Time Magazine probably needs to go out of business. Stop buying it.

It Eighnt Spying Wen W’e’ Doo It!!!!!

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We “are” VERY MAD at South Yootah Yunaversty foar letting themb selfs “be scaired” off thare Byas Repoarting Sistum!!!! Jist becozse sumb Lawyir he threttined “to” Sue themb!!!!

The whay “it” “was,”” yiu cood jist go To The Artharatees and tel themb sumb boddy thay Sayed sumb hat speatch!!!!! And thenn this heer parson thay wood “get” Punnisht!!!!!!!! And “the” bestest Thing abuot It,, wen yiu toled On sumb boddy, yiu Diddnt has to givE yore Naim”!” Lots peeple cauled themb selfs Anne Onimus!!! Or mayby she “was jist” reel bizzy!!!

Well this heer Pollasy it was Grate!!!!! It shutt evry boddy Up!!! Ennything yiu Say, “it” mite Get yiou Into Trubble so yiu Beter Not “say” mutch!!!! Of coarse, the collidge thay Done “it” Fare & Squair so ownly Chrisschins and constervatiffs thay Got sensered And “punnisht”!” Yiu diddn has Nothing “to whurry” abuot iff you was cawling peple Racists and Haters becoze that thare it Is haow Socile Juststis “it Is” Dunn!!!!!!!

This waht Is going”on” at Yutaw U it “IS” Discraystfull!!!!! Haow Are “we sappozed” to has Freee Speatch if evvry boddy Is tawking??? Hoiw do yiu Know peple are being Good unlest yiu Spy “on” themb??? Yutaw U,, yiu has Bee-Trade us. And whe whil Get yiu “Foar” that!!!!!!!!

College Students’ Demand: Straight A’s For All!

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You want straight A’s? Just demand ’em!

[Thanks to “OhioChessFan” for the nooze tip.]

This story’s so insane, I can hardly write a headline for it. My friend OCF at first thought it was one of my parodies.

Well, it ain’t.

Students at The New School, New York, recently showed their support for a part-timers’ strike by “occupying” the campus. When the part-timers got what they wanted… the students then demanded straight A’s for all–even for students who cut most of their classes (https://jonathanturley.org/2022/12/17/a-is-for-audacity-new-school-students-demand-as-for-all-courses-regardless-of-attendance-after-protests/).

They also demanded that all the top brass at the school resign.

Hot dog! “Higher education.” “Ooh, look! I graduated the New School with straight A’s! Can I has a top-paying Job nhow?”

It would be virtually impossible to come up with a more vivid illustration of the profound uselessness of a modern college, er, “education.”

Stop Chrissmiss!!!!

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Heer at Collidge we hased a Grate lexture “by” the Crapola Bros. awl abuot haow we has got “to” Stop Chrissmiss!!!! ((I amb Not siure i spelt thare naimes rihght)) becose it Ofends evry boddy Whom Wants to “be” ofenddid!!!!!

We the Stoodint Soviet thinks thare “shoodnt” awt “to be” no Chrischins heer butt i amb Afrayyed thare Are stil at leest “a” cupple duzzen Of themb!!! and thay whant “to” cellerbrayte Chrissmiss!!!!!! Lyke Gretter Thunburg she says,, “Haow Dair thay?”?”?”

So we voated to Ban awl that thare Chrissmiss stuph lyke Treees and deckaraycions “and” reeths and God etcc.!.! We Are fourming Skwads to ketch peeple “singin” Chrissmiss carrules and we whil beet themb “Up” and putt themb Into Sensertivvaty Traning!!!!!

And insted of Chrissmiss we whil cellerbrate Pressadint Jobydin!!!! and we Are traning spatial stoodints To-Be jist lyke himb!! So in caise enny thing it hapens “to” himb we will has parsons Whom “can” taike his Plaice!!!!! that whey we whil Nevver “run Out of” Bydins!!!

And aslo “we” whil Put Up a Byden Tree, i caint wayt!!!!!!!!

Reemember! Thare can ownly “Be” free-dem if The Guvvermint controlls it!!!!!!