Tag Archives: college as a waste of time and money

Whurds thay Are for Biggits!!

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I herd a lexture Last nihght it jist blode my Mind!!!

It was a gest prefesser i cant spel her “naime” but It was somthing like Abbey Babbly she is “a” famis Femmanast she finded a grate Ogrenizaytoin it is “callled” #Radicle Al Incloosave! and she sayed we Cant ware themb Vajiyna Hats no moar “becose” thare is lots of Wimmim thay hasnt got Vajynas thay has peepees insted!!!!! and fromb now On “we” has got to “be” Incloosave of Wimmins whith-out themb thare whatsits!!! Dammit i jist bauhght one too)!

“In facked^” she sayed “evin The Whurd “”Wimmin”” it is Extruding al themb wimmins that hasnt got Yiu Know Waht” and farthermoor “al Whurds thay “are” Bad becose eech Whurd it extrudes evry Thing whitch is Not That Whurd” And “that it is Not Incloosave!”” Like frinstints if yiu says Som thing it “is a” Thum Tack well then It extrudes evry thing “whitch is” not a Thum Tack!!!”” I nevver thinked of that befour!!! Butt of coarse That “is” wye we go to Collidge in the frist plaice,, to Lern New Stufff!!! and that “is” how yiu becomes a Interllectural!!!!! i do not Whant to Affend annyboddy that say thay are a Thum Tack!!!

Then she reely sayed a reely raddicle thing,, “she sayed gess Waht, thare isnt no sutch Thing “as” a Man or a Wimmin themb whurds thay was maid up by The Paytryarchie to keeep Wimmin down and so Fromb Now On the Whurd Wimmin it “has” got to In-cloode Evry-One!!!!!! So i becomed a Wimmin jist by hering that thare lexture!!!

And then she toled us “Men” only thare isnt no sutch thing, “Men” thay can Get Pregganent too jist like Wimmon used to! I wished she wood of toled us How yiu Get Pregganent so i can maik sure “it” dont hapen To Me!!! then i wuld has to get a Bortion and it wuld Be a Hassle!!

Whell i got to taik Som Time offf to rap My Mind aruond “al” this New Stuff I lernted,, it makes My Moth Antenners hurt!


The Birth of Civilization

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How did civilization start? Professors of Nothing Studies at Fimbo University think they know.

“Originally,” says department head Hugh Betcha, Ph. D., “all human beings were transgendered. That goes hand in glove with the highest levels of civilization, just as we see today. So it was that, 300 million years ago, the world’s first human civilization was populated entirely by the transgendered persons who had invented it.”

What is the evidence for this?

“Physical evidence has not survived,” says the professor, “but we can interpolate current socioeconomic trends and sort of ‘reverse-engineer’ our lost history. We also find non-physical evidence in the myths and legends of the Tasaday, the Stone Age tribe in the Philippines that has remained pure and untouched by the rest of the world for 50 million years.

“Finally, if you’re as smart as we are and you concentrate real, real hard, you will eventually intuit accurate visions of the great Transgender Age. All that ‘Male and Female’ stuff didn’t come along until much, much later–a mere 250 years ago! And it was invented by capitalists, so you know it’s bad.”

A bachelor’s degree in Nothing Studies from Fimbo University takes a mere 32 semesters to acquire, at an average cost of $30,000 per semester. “But don’t worry about the cost!” says Professor Betcha. “After all, you can always get a student loan!”


‘Are You as Smart as an NFL Draft Pick?’ (2015)

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There’s a test they give National Football League draft picks–college graduates all–to see if they’re as smart as brook trout.

https://leeduigon.com/2015/04/16/3677/

In a word, no. They’re not. They average 40% right answers.

Why do they bother to test these college graduates’ reasoning power? I mean, you already know it’s going to be pathetic, don’t you?

A chilling thought: What if they gave this test to all Americans? (Runs screaming to sidewalk…)


Can You Say ‘Boiling-Over Hypocrisy’?

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Here we go again!

The kampus kops at the Looniversity of Illinois want students to report “acts of intolerance” to their “Bias Assessment and Response Team” so they can have “educational conversations” with the, um, offender until his mind is right, boss (https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/red-alert-politics/campus-police-want-students-to-report-acts-of-bias). Because all those “acts of intolerance create an unsafe and unwelcoming environment.”

So what are “acts of intolerance”? The kops explain, “actions or expressions that are motivated [here they’re reading your mind], at least in part [how big a part?] by prejudice against or hostility toward a person (or group) because of that person’s (or group’s) actual or perceived [reading your mind again] age, disability/ability status, ethnicity, gender, gender identity/expression, national origin, race, religion/spirituality, sexual orientation, socio-economic class, etc.”

Hello? Can anybody show me a college or university where the faculty and student body are not spewing venom at “white” people in general, or heterosexual white males, or Christians, or conservatives as the evil and despicable source of all the world’s problems? Holding “workshops” and offering credited “courses” on it? Threatening and shouting down conservative speakers?

“Bias Assessment and Response Team? I would like to report an act of intolerance against white heterosexual males. Like, the university is holding this workshop on how bad and evil white heterosexual males are, and teaching that there’s got to be an end to ‘whiteness’! I’m white, see, and I find this environment like really unwelcoming, and it makes me feel unsafe…”

Do you think the fanatics leading the workshop are going to be hauled in for “educational conversations”? Don’t hold your breath!

“Expressions” of “intolerance”? What would those be? Facial expressions? The term is undefined.

All public funds to the University of Illinois should be cut off immediately.

Why are we paying these little tinhorn Stalinists to undermine our country?

P.S.–Guess what? Facebook won’t let me post this! Seems what I’ve said is against their “Community Guidelines.” What “community” is that?


‘Oh, Boy! Earn a Degree in Social Justice’ (2016)

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Attention, college students! If it’s a little too much for you, trying to make sense of Feminist Geography, mosey on over to Eastern Kentucky University and try for a degree in Social Justice.

https://leeduigon.com/2016/09/09/oh-boy-earn-a-degree-in-social-justice/

We, the higher education experts of America, won’t stop until every drooling idiot in the Western Hemisphere has a bachelor’s degree in something! No matter how ridiculous, no matter how useless, no matter how non-productive.

‘Cause it sure ain’t non-productive for us, you schnooks!


Studdyin Femmanist Jograffy!

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Boy is Collidge hard some times!! it is “using” Up “all” my Brane Powwer!

I sined up for a coarse In Femmanist Jograffy becose i am “taking” al themb Moth Hoarmoans to make me Into A Wimmin and than i Whill Be a reel Femmanist but it is sooo “hard” becose now thay are Moving “all the plaices” aruond to Other Plaices!!!

Like Jepan for instants! Jepan it is in Ohio butt now i has to lern it is Somware Elsse!!! In Femmanist Jograffy now Jepan it is in Arrazona and Arrazona thay moved It to Affricka!! This hear it is dun becose of Femmanist Apissta-Mollajy and yiu has to be Inter-Sexional to unnerstand Waht “that” “meens”!!! My hedd it is pownding!!

The Prefesser she tolled us yiu has “got to” go Beeyond Gender and i gess i Whas Rong becose i dint Know “thare” was a Beeyond Gender ennything!!

Evin Wurst! That thare coarse in Femmanist Jograffy it “costs” a Extra $Thowsend Dolars pur Samester and yiu “know” i hasnt got that kyned of Muney!!!!! so i has got to Pay by “beeing” “the prefesser’s Serphent!! i has to Go to her Appartamint and whash disshes and vacume and duo her lawndry and ohboy i dont “Know How” to fix lawndry and her cloths thay Came Out all torn and derty whith Goofy Colores i dont know “watt” she is goingto Say wen she fines Out!!! So i had had to Hyde themb clothes Under the Bedd and hoap she dont See “themb”!! and aslo i kep getting The “whashing masheen mixed” up whith the Stoave and then there whas a reely bad Fyre!!! lucky four me she wasnt hoam!!! Wauter wauter evryware,, bye the Time i “put” it out!! Butt usully she is Hihgh on somthing so she dont “knotice” a Lot of things!!!

Anyboddy whoo thinks “being” a Interllectural it is Eazy, thay are krazy!!!!!!


Gibberish du Jour: ‘Feminist Geography’

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If you still think college is the place to go to get an education, think again.

Of course, you can learn all about Feminist Geography in college, while heaping up $100,000 in student debt. But what is “Feminist Geography”?

Turn we unto Wikipedia, which says Feminist Geography is “a process of situating geographical research on an intersectional foundation thereby examining axes beyond gender to incorporate positions of race, class, ability, sexuality, etc. Through this practice, feminist geography prioritizes praxis within the field as established in feminist epistemology.”

Cleared that up for you, have I?

Please! No more public funding for colleges and universities! Such a flagrant waste of money is a sin.


So What Is an ‘Adult’?

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How come it’s so easy for frogs, but not for people?

Some of our great colleges and looniversities are trying to find out what an “adult” is (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11710). Nobody seems to know. There appears to be a lot of tension. At what point, exactly, does one become an “adult”? And how do you get out of it?

Is it when you can drink adult beverages and watch adult movies?

“You know, that’s a pretty good answer!” says Dr. Emmet Landfill, department head of Nothing Studies at Wrongful Death University. “If they sell you the booze and let you in to see the movie, you’ve made it!”

But other academics, equally learned and wise, disagree.

“At no point in life does any human person ever become an adult!” asserts Professor Gertrude Windex, dean of fuzzy puppies at East Pakistan Teachers College. “For pete’s sake, why do you think we’ve invented the term, adulting? Adulting is a process, man! Like a Monopoly board with an infinite number of squares! And anyone who says otherwise should be expelled!”

So no one agrees. In fact, the only thing the the professors all agree upon is that everyone should go to college and stay there for as long as possible.


Our New Yeer’s rezzalutoins!!

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Whell, jist in Time,, i joyned our collidge’s Pro Choyce Cacas! and thay has gived Us “alll” a liszt of New Yeer’s Rezzalutoins!! The Pro Choyce Cacas thay maded al Our “choyces” fore us,; how grate is that??? Al wee has to do Is “obay” themb!!!

And hear thay are!

We Rezolfe to whare only “the” Cloathes the Cacas says we “has” got to whare Evry Day!!

We Rezolfes to reed “The” Handmade’s Tail over and ovar agin and keap Reeding it so we know “it bye” hart!!

We rezolfes to get Inta Canfrontaycions whith christins and conserfatiffs Evry Day and keap Doingit “untill” thay Minds thay are rihght!!!

We rezolfes to go to Bed evry Nihght wen the Cacas say we shuld!

We rezolfe only “to” use themb brandnew Pro Nouns that the Cacas thay has jist maded Up,: like Gzee and Gzaa and Gzuu and Lunnabunna and a “lot of” Others,, i has not yett Bin Abel to memberyze themb alll, “thay are” for al the New Genders that has got “to be” Re-speckted!!! Al themb Old Pro Nouns thay “are” Trans Foabbick!!

Aslo we has got to say “the” F Bomb at leest Oncet in evry sentints becose this hear it Willl aleavvyate globbal Povverte and Sex Ism!! I all reddy started Doingit but that stopid lee he is “goingto” deeleet al my F Balms!! [Editor’s note: You got that right, Joe.]

And aslo tooo we Rezolfe to Hate all the hatters and biggits That are “arond” hear on the Campas and to Hate themb “until” thay jist Drop Dedd!!!!!

So thoze thay are all “The” Rezzalutoins that The Pro Choyce Cacas thay has choze for us!!


As Rutgers Rots

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Rutgers, New Jersey’s state university–I went there! I’ve got a degree from that place–continues its decay as an educational institution, now offering a three-credit course in “Practicing Social Justice” (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11702).

Why has public money been spent to set up a Women’s and Gender Studies Department? What earthly good is that? It’s just like leaving a pile of rotting meat on the sidewalk to attract flies.

So the Women’s and Gender Studies Dept. will be offering this stupid course as part of its stupid degree program. The course will focus on “resistance strategies” and “nonviolent confrontational organizing.” It’s remarkable, how quickly “nonviolent” confrontations can turn violent.  The only thing that keeps these idiots out of the hospital is that normal people aren’t as nasty as they are.

Also available in the Women’s & Gender Shinola degree program is a course in “Marxist Literary Theory.” Can you imagine anything more useless?

The time has come to cut off all public funding to wastes of time and space like Rutgers University. It’s obscene and insulting, to be spending hard-earned tax dollars on inane, silly, and self-destructive nonsense like this.


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