Tag Archives: college as a waste of time and money

I amb geting Smarter!!

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Gee i shure hoap I “dont” get bannded “this” tyme like thay done “To” me lasst weak!!!

Now that i has eated Brane Flaikes i amb geting A Lot “smarter!”! I got a litle whurryed yeasterday “wen” i seen the guy pore themb out “Of” “a” Sereal Box but he sayed thats jist “to” keeep peple fromb Stealing Themb! But he sayed “it Was” reel Smart of me “to” “ask” the queschin!

And hear it is Anether Smart Thing i fowned out,, did yiu Know yiu Can Get “beter graids” in Collidge iff yore Fambly payes the Deen and the Prefesser lots and lots “of” munny?? Now i amb Mad at my fokes for Not Paying;; no wunder It “is” so Harrd fore me to Pass my coarses!!!! and i wudd Confront my dadd ownly he sayed he wuld has me Aresttid if I evver comed to his Howse agen!!!! How do yiu luyk that for Cheep!!!

Annyhow i been taking Tests for “the” Geye with the Brane Flaikes and Asing themb all,, i alyaws get 100 One Hunderd on themb Tests butt on my own Tests in Gender Studdies and Nothing Studdies i stilll stink!!! But nhow “I” know wye its becose my fokes thay dont pay fore me “to” “get” goood graids!!! Its lyke somthing out of the Hand Made’s Tail!!!!

Wel i got to Go now becose my Moth Antenners thay are wobbleing awffle bad and i am hungary and i seeen a pare of Jim Sox somboddy thay Leffted on a bentch and thay willl maik a nyce Luntch “iff ownly” i can Get themb “befour” somboddy Elsse dose!!!!!


Master’s Degree Poker

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Can these guys get me past the censor?

So Manny, Moe, Jack, and Osgood are playing poker, and Osgood draws three cards to make a full house, aces and queens. What a hand! He’s going to win big, because all the other guys are in on this pot, raising each other back and forth until Manny and Moe drop out and Jack makes one more raise–a big one. And Osgood doesn’t have the money to cover it.

Meanwhile you’re sitting in the back of the room reading what Rush Limbaugh had to say about the college admissions scandal (https://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2019/03/12/white-hollywood-leftists-run-giant-scam-on-major-universities/).

“Well, Osgood, are you in or out?”

“Oh, I’m in!” says Osgood. “I’ll put up my master’s degree to cover the bet.”

“Your master’s degree? What’s that worth?”

“A lot! I’m still payin’ for it, twenty years later.”

“What’s it a degree in?”

Osgood’s chest swells with pride. “Superhero Studies, dude! From Humbug University.”

He places the diploma on top of the big pile of money in the center of the table.

“I’m out,” says Jack. “I can’t match that.”


I Has eated Brane Chips!!!

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I was so exited Wen i herd abuot “a” Sceyentits” he is Inventting Brane Chips thay willl maike yiu Smart!!! and i was even moar exited wen i mett “this” gye hear at Collidge he “is” maiking Brane Chips tooo!!! and then he telled me he “was” looking fore Somboddy “to” trye themb out!!!!

“Wel i wuld be hapy to try it i sayed”! But he sayed i wuld has to Pay for it Lotts of mony,, yiu “got to Pay” “One Hunderd $1 dollers!” Of corse becose of Captilism i hasnt got no Hunderd Dollers so he sayed wel “alrihght, jist give me” “alll yore mony then!” so i gived himb the Two Dollers $$ “that it is Not reely enuohgh he sayed “yiu got to give me Somthing “else” and he sayed i culd taik a cupple Tests “four” himb becose he didnt Feel “lyke” taiking them his self and then he gived me A “bole” of Brane Chips!!! Thay tasted jist “lyke” Coarn Flaikes! and aslo thay looked lyke Coarn Flaikes tooo and i sayed “Are yiu Shure theese are Reel Brane Chips and not jist Coarn Flaikes??”” and “wen Do i stort getting Smarter'”?? and he sayed See “yiu” are geting Smarter all reddy!!”

Wel woodnt yiu Know “it”! i taiked themb Tests thay was jeeograffy or Som thing and aslo Introseckshanul Lego Studdys,,, i didnt Know nothing abote themb sujbecks And yeti Ased themb annyweiy!!!!! that was reely Som thing becose thay are “alll” Egstra Smart Stodints in themb classses and Al Of themb Thay al got Ays!!! That jeeogriffey Test itt was reely Hard expeshelly that One Queschin “”Ware is North Amarica in reelashin to Sowth Amarica???–and i didnt even Know i knowed that!!! i dont rembember waht i ansered but It must of bin Rihght!!

As sune as i “can” Get moar Mony i whil by Annether Bole of Brane Chips and maby i can past my neckst Gender Studdys Test!!!!


‘Prof Vows to Call 911 Every Day to Report ROTC on Campus’ (2016)

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Remember the associate professor of English at North Dakota University, who called the cops every day to report ROTC cadets drilling on campus? I’ll understand if you’ve blotted her from your mind.

https://leeduigon.com/2016/03/24/prof-vows-to-call-911-every-day-to-report-rotc-on-campus/

Seriously–why in the world would you ever send your son or daughter there, to be “educated” by the likes of her? And pay for it, no less! And what are the students supposed to think when their professor crawls under a desk because she says she’s “terrorized” by the cadets?

Defund the colleges now. Before they ruin us altogether.


More College Crapola: Math Profs Must Provide ‘Diversity Statements’

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As long as it’s “diversity,” you don’t have to understand it.

Remember when laws, rules, and regulations used to tell you what you couldn’t do, and as long as you didn’t do those things, you were left alone?

But now, comrades, they tell you what you must do!

The Looniversity of California has now decreed that persons applying there for jobs as math professors must provide “diversity statements” detailing their “past and/or potential contributions to diversity, equity, and inclusion” (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11927).

What the devil does any of that stuff even mean? “As a math professor, I promise to load my teachings on calculus with extravagant praise for transgenderism, gay-ness, amnesty for undocumented migrants, and feminist music!” Or maybe “I promise to tack an extra 50 points onto the grades of minority students!” What the dickens does it mean? What imaginable purpose does it serve?

Hints: “nothing whatsoever” and “none at all.”

It’s long, long, long past time to cut off all public funding to colleges and universities, where anything meaningful in the way of education always takes a back seat–if it gets any seat at all–to Far Left Crazy politics. This is not education. This is poop.

And we’re paying a flamin’ fortune for it.


Joe Collidge on a Pogo Stick

I am so prowed of our Stodent Soviet!!! we has got the Collidge to go ahed with our Own Greeen New Deel! and so we has band Fossle Feuls and no boddy thay can has a “car” axept four “the” Comrads whoo reely neeeds one! and no more Ellectrisitty in the Dorms at nihght! And “best of” all the Collidge thay has buyed a hole Lot “of” Pogo Sticks and put themb al aruond “the” Campus so yiu “can” uze one wenevver yiu has got to “go” somware!!!

i has lernt a Importint “thing” abote Pogo Sticks thuohgh and that “is” it is Eezy to Fall Off! Butt at leest the Pogo Sticks thay are al Freee!!!!!! thats rihght yiu hasnt got “to” pay nothing to uze one,, thay jist upped “the” Tution anether $Hundrid Dolors a Samestor!!

Anether “thing” i has lernt “is” not to Go Swimbing if yiu has yur Sell Phoan in yur Pockit!! Yiu see the geye in the viddio he is “a” Deen and he goed Swimbing whith his Pogo Stick butt he fourgetted his Sell Phoan and it got “alll whet” so he throwed it Aweigh!! Otherwyse it “is Fun” to uze yur Pogo Stick “to go” Swimbing i whant to lern how “to” bounts Up and Down on “the Bottum” of the Poool!!! like a Supra Heero!!

We wer “goingto” ban Jett Planes too only we hasnt got one!!!

Finely we are “goingto” ban al Meet And Vegtubbles fromb Campus yiu can only eet other Stuff unlest yiu are “a” Comrad then yiu can eet “waht” yiu whant becose Comrads thay are so Importint!!!

We are “goingto” set a goood Axampul four “the” Rest of The Whirld and aslo the Cuontry!!!!!!


How Evilution it works!!!

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Som guy on lee’s stopid blogg he dont know “how” Evilutoin it works and so “he” has askd me To explane it to him I gess he never wented to Collidge “or” mayby he has fourgot waht he lernt “there” but now i Will explane!

A cupple billyin yeers ago thare “was” monkies in Ohio and one of Themb he figgered out how to Stand Up and he teached the other monkees how to “do” it and thay had Bayby Monkees that aslo standed up and wauked and so thay “all” wauked offf to Affricka ware “they” Evulved into humban beans!!! I has put up a Chart to show how that hapened!

Affter thay was humban thay dicidid thay whanted to has Dogs,, the frist Dogs thay wer sortof like Ammebas but thay Evulved into dogs i amb Sorry i “culdnt” fined a Chart that shows it but the probblum was thay wer Bad Dogs!! so the peple Thay dicidid to teetch the Dogs to feeel Gillty wen evver thay done somthing Bad!!! and than the Dogs thay has Puppees that acted Gillty wen than don a Bad Thing!! Thats How Evilution whurks!!!!!! And “now” themb Cave Men thay alyaws knowed witch Dog it “was” that peed on the Flour of the Cave!! becose the dog that done it acted Gillty!

I pitty ordrinary dum peple witch “hasnt” goed to Collidge,, no wunder thay dont know annything! Yiu cant know nothing “unlest” yiu go to Collidge and yiu has got to stay thare “untill” yiu lern enohgh to be a Interllectural!!!

 


‘Your College Tuition Dollars at Work’ (2013), or, A Satirist’s Downfall

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Here’s a story that was six years ahead of its time. As a satirical gesture, they asked college students if they were cool with abortion in the “fourth trimester”–that is, up to three months after a baby is born–and most of them said yes. Especially the students who didn’t know what a trimester was.

https://leeduigon.com/2013/07/26/your-college-tuition-dollars-at-work/

Well, what was a laughing good satire six years ago is reality today. Democrat states are elbowing each other out of the way to establish out-and-out infanticide as “women’s health.”

Would you like to stand in their shoes, come Judgment Day?


My Newswithviews Column, Feb. 21 (‘Educating Ourselves into Oblivion’)

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Should schooling make you stupid? We think not–but that’s what it’s doing. It’s also sucking up vast amounts of money that would be better spent on almost anything else.

https://newswithviews.com/educating-ourselves-into-oblivion/

One thing can’t be denied: Kill public education, and leftism dies.

The system’s ruined beyond repair, and most be junked and replaced.


‘The Dream Police’ (2016)

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Can you be held responsible for anything you say or do in someone else’s dream?

Liberal smacks his forehead and cries, “Why didn’t we think of that!”

https://leeduigon.com/2016/02/29/the-dream-police/

This, of course, was a satire. Somehow it seems less satirical than it did three years ago.

Thank God that Hillary Clinton isn’t president…


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