Heer “at” Collidge we alyaws “are” Try to get moar and maor Woak becose yiu Jist cant “get” Tooo Woak!!!! and So our Stoodint Soviet we has voated “to” Ban Artrafissile Repserration AND aslo CPR!!!!!
As yiu can sea fromb “The” pixture,, theez heer things they can maik yore Arms and Leggs fawl offf!!!!!!! but that isnt wye we band themb!!
No! Wee band Artrophycial Rasporassion becose It Is Kisssing!!!! It is Kisssing whith-oat Consent!!!!!!!!! Waht cood be moar Secksist???
And CPR it “is” jist “the” saim!!!! It is dooing somb thing To somb boddy whith-oaut thare Con-Sent!!!!! I mean comb on Man (pressadint Bydin he sayes That al “the” Tyme!!)!!! Lyke, watt “iff” thay doughnt Whant no CPR??? Watt iff “thay” doughnt whant no Icky Perdson who probbly has The Vyris kisssing themb???
Whell of coarse The Woak Thing “to do” is to jist leeve themb Aloan!!!!!!!!!!
We “Are” alll prowd Of our Woak=ness heer!!!
Somb Hater he sayed whell yiu “doughnt ask” a Baybe’s Con-Sennt befoar yiu has a Bortion, do yiu???? Butt we jist beet “himb” up!!!!!
We gotted a Grate Idear from “the” Unavorcity of Minnasoda–maik a lot of Fake cawls to the copps!!
See, thare shoodnt be no poleece annyhaow,, “so” wye Not jist messs themb Up whith “a lott Of” fony cawls?? Our own Stoodint Soviet we voated “to” “do” this!!! I”t” is eezy And Fun to Doo!!!!
Like frinstince,, Hello poleece! “I amb” cawling fromb Trotsky Haul “becose thare “is” a gye heer he “Has Got” a Cobera and he “is waiving It” aruoand and somb boddy thay “Are” goingto get bited!!!”! And thenn thay has got to rhush oaver thare and gess whatt?! Thare isnt no Snaik!!! and thay whil has to waist Time “loooking al oaver The plaice” for the cobera and thay woont fined One!!!!!
And then as “sooon” as thay Are dunn “whith That”,, somb boddy else thay “will” cawl and tel the poleece “thare is a Hater in the caffateeria whoo is Miss Gendering innersint Trans Peeple!!”!!” and than the copps thay has to waist time trying to “taik Cair of That”!!”
Wee Can do this “Awl Day”!!””
Somb biggit he tryed “to” Tel us we caint do this,, it is A Fellany and wee cood “get” in Big Trubble foar it!!! So we beet himb Up!!!
The idear is, Iff evry boddy thay “do” this “evry Day,,” the copps thay whil “get awl Woren Out” and Quitt!!!!!!!!! And thare wil be no Poleece at all!!!! and thare whil Be Socile Jutstus evry ware!!!!!!!!
Heer “at” Collidge our Stoodint Soviet we has taikin “a” Mayjer Stepp!!!! becose Its tyme we gotted sirius Abuot Hat Speatch!!!!!!
Fromb nhow on ownly Progrestave Speach it whill “be” Aloud!! So iff yiu has somb-Thing elss to saiy well yiu beter Not saiy It!!!!!!
Yiu wood “be” sapprized at haow mutch Hat Speatch thare is!! Wood yiu beleave it?? Nhow thare are not-reely Blacke peple whoo “are” Wite Supreemacysts!!!!! and aslo hypspanicks who voated “For” Trumpt!!!!! This heer it has tobe Stoped!!!!
Wee “are” Tryingto get “a ” spatial Appt foar “our” cumpiutars that whil alouw us “to” instintliy Repoart al Mistakin Idears to “the” artharaties and Thay will has Ways to remoove Mistakin Idears “and” Put In progresstave Idears “in-stedd”!”! I think Thay can doo “it” whith Maganits!!!!!!! Thay are all reddy Dooing “This” in Chiner!!
Too menny peeple thay “are” Aloud to tawk annywhay! It shood be yiu has To Urn the rite to speke!!! witch yiu wood doo by saiying Ownly Progrestave Things!!!!! Lyke, haow Can yiu has Dyvercity iff peeple “are” awl Saying Diffrint things??? Thay shood awlbe saiying The Saim Things!!!! Progrestive things!!!!!!
Freedumb for anny boddy Butt Progrestives it “is” A Reely Bad Idear!!!!!!!!!!
It might take you 25 years to earn your doctorate in Superhero Studies, but it’d be worth it! And think of the talent pool available for Mostly Peaceful Protests! Why, we’d achieve Pure Socialism in a matter of weeks!
Collidge it is So grate!!! Tooday we hased a lexture “In” Nothing Studdies and i lernt somb Thing i diddnt know “be”foar!!!
Pop-Aye the Saler,, thay cawled himb That “be”cawse salers thay “Are” alyaws saying Aye-Aye,, he wuz “a” Reel Perdson!!!!!! Ownly it wuzznt True abuot himb eeting Spinnitch “to get” Strawng, no it wuzznt Spinnitch it was Pot!!! Maryywanna! Wen Pop-Aye he kneeded Sooper Stringth,,, he smoaked Pot!!!!! and it maid himb “as” strawng as Stuper Man!!!!!! In facked, the prefesser sayed, “Yiu cood nevver” say “whoo wood Win “in” a Fite betweeen Pop-Aye “and” Stuper Man!!”!”
He didded moast “Of” his salering in Kanzziz or Bacteria ((i ferget witch One), he billt this heer Grate Big Schip the SS Olav Oil witch he naimed “foar” “his” gril frend and get this!!! She wuz a Trans Wimmin!!!!! that is wye she looked Like that. He saled his schip Alll Ohver The Oshin untill Global Warming it maid the oshin dry Up and bloe Awhey!!!! He tryed to “dig” A “new” oshin but Gorge W Bussh that rat! he Stopped himb!!!
Layter onn “in” Lyfe Pop-Aye he becommed a Socile Juststus Wirer and chaced al the Snaiks out of Eyerland!!
I caint hardly Wate foar “the” neckst Lexture!!!!!!!!!!
We done a impotant Thing tooday! Our Stoodint Soviet we voated “to” not allouw no moar Queschins abuot nothing!!!!!
We hered aboat this “here” Pannle thay hadded at Unavorcity of Somb-plaice i forgett whare,, thay “wer” Tawking abute Micro-Grecian and some Hater Biggit HE ASKD QUESCHINS!!!! What a nurve!!! So natcherly the Unadversity thay Saspendded himb and toled him he neaded “to” get “a” Psycatrick Ovulation to “see iff” he was Crayzy!!! and wood yiu beleave it??? He woodnt!!! “So” natcherly thay kicked himb Out “of” collidge and aslo Eckspelt himb!!!!
Whell of coarse thare frist Missteak was thay aloud “himb” to ask anny Queschins in the first plaice!!!!! Collidge it is no plaice “foar” Queschins!!!!! I cannot emfersize this “strawngly” enuought!!!!! We “are” “not” heer To Ask Queschins!!! We “are” “heer” to maik Socile Jutstus!!! and aslo to do Play Doh!
Nhow that big Cry Bayby he is sooing “the” Yoonavorcity for stomping On “his” so-caled Frist Emendmint Rihghts–lyke thare “is” anny sutch Thing “as” some Frist Amandmint at collidge!!!! Him sooing “the” Skool it is a Very Very Big! Micro-Grecian!!!! In a reel Countrie that isnt a Wite Stupremist Haite Macheen he wood jist get Shott!!!!
Heer “At” our Collidge we “are” goingto ovoid the Missteak of leting anny boddy Ask anny Queschins ever at All!!!!!!!!!! and iff we has to rap peeple “Up” in a Trasht Bagg to shut themb Up,, we whil!!!!!!!!!!
Man did we has a Grate Lexture yeasterday!!! It “was” a guessed speeker from Gorge Sauros “and” she hased a trooly Reviloosionairy idear!!!!!
Locke up Evry Boddy witch dougnt Agreee whith us!!!!! Locke themb Up in Jale!!! and aslo doughnt lett themb evver “say” nothing Ever Agin!!!!!! Ownly “then” wil we has reel Jenuwine Damockracee!!!!!!!!
Somb ijjit he Asked “woodent That “be” Un-constatwosional??”” so we beet himb Up!!!! and aslo “the” lexturer she sayed “That thare Consatwosion it is Racist so we doughnt Want it no moar!”!”!”
She aslo poynted Out that lock-ing all themb dum stopid peeple In “jale” IT WOOD PUT 700 MILLIAN WIMMIN BACK “TO” WHORK!!!!!!!!!! And pressadint Bydin he “thinks” So tooo!! Thare wil “be” pullenty “of” Jobs jist tayping Duck Taype ohver thayre Mouwths!!!
And aslo all themb stopid ordrinery peeple “in” Jale thay whil has to Sine plejjes to beleeve Evry Thing that “the” Guvvermint it tells “themb” Fromb Nhow On!!!! We whil Caul “it” “The” Demockracee Plegj!!!!! and iff yiu doughnt Sine it yiu wil Not “be” aloud to eet enny Foood!!!!
Heer “at” Collidge we “Are” awlyaws maiking A Beter Fewtchure!!!!!!!!
Which was what Shawnee State Looniversity tried to do to a philosophy professor: knuckle under or lose your job. They got it past a district court, but the Sixth Circuit reversed that ruling.
I mean, really–what value has the First Amendment if they can make you say things you believe to be not only untrue, but wicked according to your religion? Whose idea of “freedom” is that? [Hint: a liberal’s.]
So now the professor can sue Shawnee State for damages, and let’s pray he sets them back a bundle. Because this must stop.
What else are they going to try to make you say, once they’ve got the “trans” nailed down? They heap abomination on top of abomination, and still expect to prosper.
But I don’t call losing our freedom (to say nothing of our dignity!) prospering.
Yes, the ability to read music is obviously a product of white supremacy and must be done away with. Like classical music itself. No more Mozart, no more Beethoven–only rap matters.
Ah, well, they’ve already turned most of our popular music into garbage; and someday the only way you’ll ever hear Beethoven’s 9th Symphony again is if some old man is whistling it while he shaves and he’s left the bathroom window open.
And you thought our American colleges were the only ones this full of crap!