If, for instance, Walmart wished to pry into its employees’ sex lives, and required each and every one of them to fill out a questionnaire demanding the most intimate, detailed information… what do you suppose people would have to say about that? Would they not marvel that Walmart dared to do such a thing? Would they not be crying out for the CEO’s head on a pole?
Not that the public was exactly tickled pink when this publicly-funded looniversity did the same thing, four years ago:
You do wonder what kind of upbringing these academics and administrators must have had–or if they had any kind at all.
Next question: why do we entrust our children’s “higher education” to such people? Answer that one, if you can!
I wented to a lexture yeasterday And now i jist “dont” see how them stopid Haters “and” biggits thay refuzes “to” beleave Evilutoin it is truue!!!!!
We now has Prooof of Evillusion,, we evin has got viddio!! Stopid lee he putt one Of them viddios rihght Hear on “this” blogg and he still dont get it!!
For millians of yeers the Elfs thay was ownly Deckaracions but “now” thay Has Evolved!!! Yes, now thay has Evolved into Livving Things! The prefesser she was making “the” lexture she sayed “This hear it is Prooph that non-Life it Evolvs into Life jist al bye Itsselff and thare isnt no Sueper Natchrel stuff it jist hapens!!”” and then she sayed “Evry Thing it has got the Potentchile for Life iff it arent Alyve all reddy!!”
Wel we al standed Up “and” cheared becose now wee Know “that” Life it Creeates It’s Self and so we wil rite A Letter to Hillery askin her to shut down Al the Churtches for Evvalution Denile and beang Anty-Sciance!!! that is a crymb! it is Hate! and aslo now we “want” our Collidge to offer a Deegree Pogrom in Elf Studdies and aslo more free stuff to “al” Indervidurals of Dyvercity!!! and aslo Free Tution for evry stodent inclooding Elfs! Thare is No Reesin elfs shuld Not Go To Collidge tooo jist like peple!! I amb sure thay Can “learn” jist as mutch as we doo!!!
The Collidge Quire,, i didnt “know” we “had” one, thay singed a Chrismist Consert lasst nihght() i didn know “we” hadd one of Those ether,, but we got a Preotest togetther and we maid themb Stop!!! In facked nowh thay “are” apollogyzing for singing I Amb Dreembing Of a Whyte Crismiss!! We “shuld Not” has beeen So Incentsive,, thatt Is “waht” thare Saying Now and The Stodent Soviet whe has centinced themb to Riggerous Re-Education it wil taik Three yeers!
I meen haow stopid can yiu Get, singing abote A Wyte Crismist?? Yiu cant be aloud “to” sing abote Anny Thing that Is Whyte!! or say anny thing is wyte,, thare is not Nothingg that is wite thatt yiu shuld be “aloud To” say,^ thare Can Bee No Socile Jutstus Unless Thare Isnt Nothing Whyte No Moar!!!!! i cannat say that Strungly enuhgh!!
Some Hater he tryed to saiy “wyte chrismist” it is Only Abote Snohw and snowh it is Wyte it is awlyaws wite wel i Dont “care” it is jist Hat Speach!! and so we fowned his byke and slatched the tyres!! wee was goingto beet himb Up butt thare was only Fore of Us so we decydid Not To!!
Neckst Semestur wee “are” going to get Rid “of” al Whyte Paiper and only has Paiper Of Cullor whe wil Not “stop” untill thare isnt nothing wite no moar!!!!
I has been “Thinking” i has aught to Chainge my Majer becose Gender Studdies it is jist so hard!!! It is reel “hard” to rember al the Diffrint Genders that wasnt thare last weeek!
So i was reel hapy wen I founed out our Collidge it is offring a new Majer in Nothing Studdies!!! This is jist purfict!! It gots lots “of” coarses In it thay are fastinating!! i cant hardly “whait” to take Them!
Neckst semmestar i amb “goingto” sine Up for Beeyonsay Studdies jist like thay has “at” Ruttgers, and Whaching Car-Toons on TV, and Play Doh and Pickup Stix and Protesting Evry Thing, and aslo Callecting Ear Whax and Roling It Into “a” Big Ball!! I amb aslo Intrested in a coarse in Master Baiting,, i whunder waht It is!!!
The grate Thing abote it is,, yiu are Garinteed to “Get” yore deegree & al yiu has to doo is Pay “fore” it!!! How grate is that??? Ok, thare “is” one promble= my fambly thay has “kicked” me Out and i hasnt got “no” munny!!! But somb of the Stodents thay Are all-reddy Pan Handling and My Plan it is to Pan Handel offf themb!!!
I reely got to get my deegree Sune so i “can” be an Offisul And Bone Affied Introllectural!!!! becose us interllecturals we has got to Run the Contry!! Ordrinary dum peple thay “are” Jist two dum to do it whith-out Us!!
O man! i was sposed to rite this yeasterday but i fergot to “do” it “Becose” i was “so” busy getting reddy “for” stopid thanksgiving and then thay toled me i misssed it! Becose thanksgivving was Wensday not twoday!!!
Wel that it maid me “reely” Mad!! butt so waht! Thare isnt nothing to “be” Thankfull four annyhow axept for bein a Interllectural hear at Collidge insted of ordrinary dum peple!!! So i amb “thankfull” for bein Mutch Smarter then them ordrinary dum peple and stopid christins and thay shuld “be” thankfull fore Us!!! becose we “are” so Smart!!!!
So me “and” sum Others on the Stodent Soviet wee got Togithar to sing “hims” to Pressadint Obamma and “thank” him for makin the See-levvles go “Down” befor thay sunk Ohyo and runed our Campas!!
I didnt “get” no Turky thohgh becose it al got eat up befor i got some so al I hadd to eet was a Hankerchiff but it was OK wen i put “some” Mapple Seerip on it!!
So I goed to Vote twoday and thay toled me i mist the elecktoin it’s Over!!!
Well i wasnt goingto Take “that” so i throwed my self “on” the Flore and did kicking “and” screeming and yeled But “I has a impotent Demmocrat vote!!!! yiu cant “do” this” “to me”!!! and neckst thing i Know “this ” guy he comes in “And” grabs my hare and bops my Hed aginst “the” flore Five or Sicks Times to make me stopp!!! and then he says Why “dont” we “jist let this hear Fyne yung man “do a rite-in” vote,, “Hear sunny jist rite yore vote on this hear peace of Payper”! so i done it!! I rote in Hi,llery and aslo Pressadint Obamma and than thay “made” me Go Awaiy!!! But so waht,, at leest i Voted!!! Aslo i sayed the Russhins thay made “me layte!” and thay Beleaved that!!!
it jist gose to show yiu “that” evry Vote it have got “to” be Countid!!! and hear at Collidge i has lernt that “yiu shuld” alyaws be throne “a” Tantrum then yiu get “waht” yiu whant!!!
but Now my Hed it hurts,, that guy “he bended” one of My moth Antenners so i think I better sea iff I “can” fyned some Druggs! and i wahnt to rite a litter to Hillery so shee knows “i Voted” four her!!
Forget about capitalism! Socialism–that’s old hat! In fact, just throw out all the isms–’cause we’ve got something better!
Dr. Elrond Pubis, professor of Intersectional Economics at Planaria State University, has devised a whole new economic system which he predicts will soon become the model for the entire world.
He calls it “Magic.”
“Cut to the chase!” he explains. “We want what we want when we want it–right?
“Well, in my new system, the government will have the power to grant each and every citizen three wishes. You only get those three, so don’t waste ’em! And as an added bonus” (aren’t bonuses always additional?), “we’ll have full employment because the government will have to hire practically everybody just to keep track of all the wishes!”
Dr. Pubis said he got the idea from reading “certain ancient lore” involving… well, fairies. “Scoff if you like!” he said. “But we are on the verge of hiring former attorney general Loretta Lynch to track down and prosecute Fairy Denial.”
I was anctious Twoday to get to “the” Stodent Soviet meting wee Are “goingto” Out-law and Ban al Hate Fackts becose thay “are” jist hat speach and No One “canbe” aloud to say Them anny moare!! axept wen i got Up “tooday”” i was sick!!!! I didnt knowe It At frist but than somboddy thay toled me “Yiu has got Spotts all” over “yiu” and wen i wented to “The” Infermery the norse she sayed i got Meezles!!! no wunder i feeled so Bad!!
But i whasnt “goingto” let That “stop” Me fromb going two The Meting so i whent and wen i sitted Down than evry boddy thay strated Moving Awhay fromb me like i hadd Coodies or somthing! and i sayed “wahts the Mater whith al of yiu???” and somboddy thay sayed “wel yiu Got Meezles and “That” is a Dizzeese and it is Cantajiss and i dont wanta ketch it fromb Yiu”!!!
i ansered “Now see,, That “Is” jist waht we meen, That is a Hate Fackt and i amb jist a victimb!!!” and yiu “has” to ignor them Meezles lyke thay wasnt Thare!!!”” and our Commissarr she sayed “Yiu know waht? he is Rihght!! Sayin he got Meezles, that reely Is! a Hate Fackt and we can not Akknollidge it so evry boddy yiu has got to Moove yore ” Chares back “up Clost To himb!!!”” So evry boddy thay didd that becose we Are “Not” goingto “pay” no Attentchin to No Hate Fackts anny moare!!
And then Sombthing beuttifull It hapened!! The Commissarr she sayed “Wee has lett a Hate Fackt hurt Joes Feeelings! so now we has to has a Groope Hugg!!”& so we done a reely long And Sqkwishy groope Hugg untill “My” Feeelings thay whasnt hurt no Moare!!! and we spendded al Day twogethar singin hapy songs!!!
and Now i dont feeel so Goood and mayby iff I ete somb Jim Sox i wil feele beter!
Public education in America has always been a Trojan horse, and we dragged it right into the middle of our city.
Most of what’s wrong with America is the education establishment’s fault.
Consider carefully the remarks by this “educator,” who thinks ordinary sanity is tantamount to mental illness.
And we want roundworms like this educating our children because __________?
Fill in the blank and win a tinfoil hat.
[Editor’s Note: WordPress has torpedoed me again! If you see this post appear twice instead of once, it’s not my fault.]
We,lll our Stodent Soviet we has dunn “a” Big Thing!! We has maked a roole to get “rid of” evry Kynde of Iyce Creem axept Benin Jary’s Iyce Creem becose ownly Benin Jary’s it stants “for” Socile Jutstus and Dyvercity!!! So fromb now on on Campas yiu cant has anny kynde Of Iyce Creamb butt Benin Jary’s and “that Is” howe yiu get Dyvercity!!
Yiu see,, Benin Jary’s Iyce Crimb thay pro-motes Socile Jutstus and Enviarmintle Jutstus and Peple of Culler and Wimmin and E-quality!!! It is aslo good becose “It” is maid in Benin witch is sombware in Affricka like rihght neckst To Swizzerland!!
And So fromb now on yiu cant has “No” uther Iyce Creemb butt Benin Jary’s and in Facked we dunn sombthing Elsse two, we maked “a” roole That yiu has to eet Benin Jary’s Eyes Creemb evry Day or else “it” Is hat speatch and yiu are “a” Hater and a Racist and a Biggit and thare Isnt “no Plaice” four yiu in this hear Collidge and iff yiu Skipp a Day then yiu get Flunked Out of al yore corsets butt iff yiu Eat It evry day Like “we” tolled yiu than yiu get All A”s pluss a ottomatick deegree in Socile Jutstus Studdies!!!!! How abote That!!
We “are” Doiing this “For” Fredomb and Dyvercity and no one thay is aloud to Say any Diffrint!!!