Tag Archives: foolish intellectuals

Now we Got to Hate! Spidor Man!

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I awlyays loved Spidor Man butt now i hat him “and” i was wrong Wrong WRONGG! fore liking him! and so are yiu!

Its “a ” goood thing i reeded a blog or somthing “abote” this hear New Spidor Man Moovie (http://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/culture/dan-gainor/2017/07/13/alt-left-insanity-spider-mans-real-power-white-privilege) it suposed “to” bee Diverse but gess what?? Iff it going to be Diverse than How Come Spidor Man he is stil White??? Evryboddy thay knows That yiu cant has no Diversity with no White Peple in it!!!

And than I thinked “of” somthing Else! How Come Spidor Man he “is” stil a Man??? Huh? Huh?? when evryboddy thay aslo knows he shuld “ouhght to” be A Wimmin! in fackt he “shuld” ouhght to Be A Wimmin Of Collor!!! and aslo probly a Musslim tooo!

I am so Gladd i been pluggged “in” to this It has opaned my iyes!! and if yiu trying to say But “Joe” yiu are a White Peple tooo! wel “that” is jist whatt we cal a Micro Gresion becose i amb reely “a” Musslim Wimmin of Coler traped “in” a White Peple boddy!! Like Mikle More he sayed “We Are al Musslims!!!

The strogle for Truue Reel Diversity “it” jist gose On and “on”!! it “is” A reel strogle for Socile Jutstus!!


How to Talk Real Smart

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The biggest gun in the liberals’ arsenal is the claim, and the resulting perception, that they are smarter than the rest of us. Heck, it must be so–politicians, college professors, lawyers, TV noozies. They’ve gotta be smarter than ordrinary dum peple.

But now you, too, can be as smart as any liberal! All it takes is just a few little words, judiciously employed so as to be devoid of any meaning. A lot of intellectuals say there is no meaning to anything, anyhow; so you’re always on safe ground if you’re babbling.

Never say “I don’t know.” Instead, say, “Whatever we say or do must be proactive.”

If someone then gives you a blank look and says “Huh?”, tack on this sure-fire clincher: “Think digital, man! Think digital!” People hear that word a hundred times a day and hardly anybody knows what it means.

If, in the unlikely event that this line does not produce wise nods from your hearer, and he tries to question you some more, it’s time for the all-purpose conversation stopper:

“The way you’re talking, dude, anyone would think you were a racist. In fact, you probably are a racist.” You will either stop him in his tracks, and force him to agree with you, or else divert him into a total sidetrack as he tries to deny his racism. Expect a lot of fumfering!

There are, of course, other words that you can use, meaningless words that never commit you to any particular position. But these few are enough to get you started in a satisfying career as a real smart talker.


Get yor dagree In Socile Jutstus!!

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I cant hordly weiht til Next Samaster! Then our Collidge Socile Jutstus Dagree Pogrom it “wil be” Up and runing! and i wil Take “som coarses!! in “fact” I wuold change My Major to Socile Jutstus eccept i has onely “got” 5 more yeeres to go on my Batchler Dagree in Gender Studies so “it” kind of Too “late” to swich.

Insted of jist Sittin In Class Room theese coarses thay wil All “be” out,side and whe wil “get” Creddit for bustin Things up and doing Beet Downs on peple whoo thay Deserf it thare wil Be coarses in Throwing Rocks And Brickes and aslo Settin Things On Fyire!!! That is waht my Prefesser he Calls Instotucional Change! And it wil “make Socile” Jutstus it wil come Warever we reck stufff!!!

We wil aslo De-Manned thare be No More Hetro-sexial and yiu got to be LGTBQC form Now “on!”” Yiu cant be Rihghtchus unles yiu gay or Trans or any Thing but Hetro. And aslo if yiu are Femail yiu cant “be” Rihghtchious and Good unles yiu has a Bortion!

Yiu has got To “be” Carefull thuohgh, i seen one Stodent he got “a” littal over-Doing it and he “went” and Keyed his own Prefessers Car by Mitsteak!! Yiu onely Supossed to Key White Prifflidge cars and aslo Biggit and Racist Cars so he got “in” lots of Trubble!

Now jist yiu wate and See “what” hapens wenn Al the Collidges thay got Socile Justsus Dagree Pogroms! This hole No-good cuontry it wil go “up” in smoak! And than we wil All get Socile Jutstus evry whare!!!


We Has got To Laern To Fihght!!

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Wel its abote Time!! Us Interllecturals hear “at” Collidge we Are tyred of them De-ploribles and rihght-Wing Biggits and Haters thay alyaws atacking Us and sayin Wrong Pronons and so we goin To “do” waht stodents and Progrestives thay doin al Over “the” cuontry and That is we goin to “have” a Self Deefence Traning Club!!! jist like at Lots “of” otther Collidges! (http://www.shtfplan.com/headline-news/watch-the-left-prepares-for-war-with-new-self-defense-training-club_06272017)

Al yiu has got To do is paye $6,0000 and thay trane yiu to fihght! We has got a nice Transt-Gender Persson (&) is goin to teech us and Wahts reely Grate “abote it” is (&) going to teech Us whith-out Goin intto no Hetro-Normotivve Male Gym Cultture! like That stuf it is so mail so we not goin to lern no Joodough and no Karroty, that is Way “tooo” male. No, we goin “to”” lern specile Fihghtin Skils thay wil Impower “us” to beet up cristins and al them Otther Fashists!!

I evin got A Chants to tallk to The Transt-Gender Persson and (&) sayed Lets “see yuor” Munny wel of corpse i hasnt Got none butt (&) sayed may-bee We “can” work Sumthing Out becose (&) hasnt Never teeched “noboddy whith” no Moth Antenners befour! (&) sayed my Moth Antenners thay mihght Be a Vunnerble Spot! I sayed thay Sure do Hurt wen sumboddy pulls them.

Wel i hop my traning It starts reel “sooon” so I “can” De-fend my self aginst That Biggit that my frends and me we beet up “jist the”” otther Day i think he mihght be Mad “at” us.

 


I seen ‘Julio’s Seezure”!!

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I went and seen a play Last nihght it “was” Julio’s Seezure wrote by some “guy” his Name its Shakaspeer, it was”at” the Stodent Centaur And it was “put on” by our Collidge’s own Socile Jutstus Players but thare Wasnt noboddy named Julio in it “and” noboddy thay had no seezure! Insted it was al theese guys thay Was waring towls and Bed Sheats and thay caled them selfs Romins, i has no Idear waht “that” was al abote!

Besides, it Was al abote Donold Trumpt!!! Frist thay coldnt find noboddy who wantedd “to” play him but finely Some boddy he sayed he wuld “do it”, The showe must go on!!

Wel i was geting pretty Board and then abote haffway “threw” the Play soddenly evry Boddy thay al stabed Donold Trumpt to deth!!! WOW! Blood all over The plaice!! and then it was OOPS! becose thay reely stabed him “and” he was reely ded, dead, deadd!! and evry Boddy thay al kinda freeked out!!

So the cops thay came and aksed A Lot of qeustoins and finely thay taked Away “the” boddy it sure was “a” Mess! and A Lot of us we was warried and We al preyed to Pressadint Obamma to make nobody get in trubble we awlyas preys to him becose us Interllecturals at Collidge we “know thare”” isnt no God!!

Abnd this “moarning” goood neuws!! The Prosticuter he “is” a Dembocrat and he sayed “it was” jist a axiddint or may be Suecide but it sure wasnt No murrder so thare wont be no Boddy gets errested!!

And my Prefesser he sayed it dont Matter becose Donold Trumpt he “is so” Bad, even if yiu jist preetend to be him yiu jist as bad as him is and It “surves” yiu rihght to get stabed and kilt!!!

But i mussed Con-fest I sort of losed My appertight wen i seen al That bloood on them nice sheats and towls!

Waht a grate Play thiouhgh!!!


Yiu Has got To Sleeep With Trans Peple!

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[Warning: a bit more revolting than usual. But that’s our culture.]

Hear at Collidge we “are” goin to Hit Trans Phobbia good “and” Hard! Thare “is” a Trans bloger she ze? reely sayed it When xe sayed and i qote, “”Not being Attracted to trans peple it is deeeply Trans Phobbic”” (http://www.dailywire.com/news/17419/apparently-youre-deeply-transphobic-if-you-dont-amanda-prestigiacomo)!!

Wel us Interllecturals we al say “it” is a biggit Hat Crime not to sleeep With Trans peple and So we revolve To Do Somthinge abote it!! Wee are Settin “up a” Cammitty that Wil deside who yiu goin To sleeep With! And aslo the cammitty it “wil” deside whoo yure Frends are and it wil Pick Them for yiu!!! Thiss is neseccary becose peple thay is All Biggits at harte and thay is Not Diverss enuohgh in Thare Frend Ships!!!

I amb not Trans Phobbic in Facked i amb deeeply Atractored to Trans Peple! I amb tryin to be Trans tooo and That is “wy” i “get” shoot Up whith al them Moth Hormoans only al it done “so Far” is jist To make thees Moth Antenners groan out of my Fourhead and aslo make Me “wantt” To Eat sox and Hankerchiffs!! Aslo i ait a peece of a Carpit once but It was awful Diffaclut to chewe! So i willlin to sleeep With any Trans Parson iff thay wuld “jist give” me a Chanse!! Al them peple whoo thay Wont have “Secks” with me thay are Biggits tooo!

Yiu see Now that ordrinary dum Peple thay are “tooo” stopid to chews thare owen Frends and Secks Pratners that “is” wy Us Smart Interllecturals we has got to “do” it four them!!!

And that wil leed To troue Socile Jutstus!!!!


How The humin Race got Started Without No men

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Oh did i here a grate lexture last Nihght!! It was bye Our “specile guesst” at Collidge she is A prefesser “of” Femnist Inter-Sexional Byology and she telled us how orgineraly al the First “humins” thay was jist gay wimmin Veggertarians and thare wasnt no mails!! Thats rihghjt, thare was onely Wimmin!!!

Thare wasnt no men Come along “untill” mutch Later wen The mails thay Evolved from some Kind of munkey that the Wimmin thay “keeped” as pets! and that “is” wen Evalution it started and them little munkeys “thay” Evolved into Cave Men and thats wen humins thay begun “to go” Down Hill!!! I forget waht kind Of munkeys thay was,, thay had a Sceintiffick name thats reel Hard to spel

This hear lexture it Made “a” lot of Things cleer to me that i diddnt undrestand befour! Like it was them Mails that infented Captolism and thay “forsed” evry One to do it and then Even wursse thay infented Religgin and thay forsed “evry One to” do that tooo! And thats How evry Thing it got so bad wen It “used to” be goood!

So iff we want To make humins good agian we Got to Transsission evry boddy “back” to Femail, witch Sceince it have showed Us how “to doo it!! and then Hillery she wil finely “be” the Pressadint insted of that Trumpt althuohgh wen he transes into a wimmin too he wont “be so” bad no more!!


This Meens War!!!

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Iff yiu has not joyned #The Resistiance “yet” wel whatt Are yiu weiting for?? Yiu must be a reel stopid Racist Biggit!

Yeasterdday that Donold Trumpt he shuld Not be pressadint it shuld “be” Hillery, he went and busted “the” Intrenatonal Climbit Change Treety! That it was jist “whatt” them Russhans thay wanted him “to” do!! And now he going To Kill Everybody in the Worled and Destroy The Planit jist so he “can” make a big prophit!

Yiu jist weit til Climbit Change it takes Aweiy al the Air and yiu cant Breeth no more and aslo Every place it wil alll be Under Water!!! then yiu willl al be Sorry but it Wil “be tooo” late!! Keeth Odorman he “was” rihgjt wen “he was” on TV and he sayed Al the intellerginces in al The ohther countrys thay has got To get ridd of Trumpt! He wuld Not be on TV iff he wasnt reel Smart!

Butt no! No boddy thay didnt lissen “to” him and Now look waht hapens!

I has alyaws sayed The onely thing this evel Racist contry fill of De-Plorribles has got goin for It that “is” Us Interllecturals hear at al The Collidges and now We Are “the” only Ones that Can Save The Worled witch meens al yiu Odrinary Dum Peple yiu got to Obay us from now on!! And the frist Thing yiu got to Do is overthrough Trumpt!! Befour The Planit it runs Out “of” air and We al gets drownded!! This gots to Be done rihgjt now!!!! and then we musst make Hillery the pressadint and Pressadint Obamma he musst be Pressadint of The Worled becose onely he “is” smart enuhgh!

Rememember, thare cant be No more life On This Planit unles yiu obays us Interllecturals!!!


More Amazing False Facts

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If we ever do go fully postmodern, and we want to get along, we must master the art of non-factuality. If nothing is true, we must rely on statements that sound true when spoken with a calm conviction. We also wish to convey non-information that will impress our hearers.

So here are a few that you can practice on. See if you can wow people you meet on the supermarket checkout line!

*The Welsh people originally came from China in the 1940s. Prior to that, Wales was inhabited by movie stars.

*The game of polo was invented by Thomas Edison–not by Tesla, as is erroneously believed. In Tesla’s game, players rode on hogs, not horses.

*The fad of indoor fireworks was responsible for the Great Chicago Fire of 1506.

*The original, classical Greek alphabet had only five letters in it, all of them vowels. Consonants were only added after the Romans complained.

*The earliest living things on Planet Earth were rocks, although they didn’t look it.

There you have it, just what you need to get started. Remember, Saving The Planet depends on making twaddle sound like wisdom.


Freee Speach It Dont Cover No Hat Speach!

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We had a Big demmastracion hear “at” Collidge this moning to forse them Biggits in Austrialier to leaglize Gay Marridge and then some Hater he come Along “and” saying Marridge jist a man And a wimmin i culdnt beleave Ennyone thay wuld say somthing So hatful And biggited so We al Beat him up and aslo we turned his Car over excep it turned out It Was “a” prefessers Car and he got kind of Mad!

And then we had a Teach-In and we lernt that Howerd the Deen, i dont know “waht Collidge he” is deen of but Iff he is a deen Then he must Be “exter” Smart, he sayed the Frist Ammendant it dont cover no hat speach and we Must Not Alow no boddy to say nothing aginst Diversity!! Enny One “whoo” deevates from *Diversity* thay got to be Stoped and throwed In Jale! thay has no Rihgjt to Dis-Respeck and Not Agreee with *Diversity*!!

I dint know thare is stil Cuontrys thay has Not leaglized Gay Marridge in Fact it shuld Be The “only kind” of Marridge that are alowed! but i gess Wee wil has to weit for Pressadint Obamma wen he’s Pressadint of the Worled and then Not have Gay Marridge “it” wil be Aginst The Law!!!

Wel alll that demmastraitin It made “me” hongry so i has got to fined Some sox to has for lunch! Becose To Morrow we has got a Even biggger demmastracion for Univercial Free Helath Care and aslo Univercial Free Tution at Collidge for as Long “as yiu” kneed to Stay thare and aslo Free Univercial Food! And iff we has Time “we” wil aslo demmastrait For “it” be Aginst The Law to say Any thing Bad abote Sceince!!!


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