See? We Told You They’re Crazy

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A “god” of… what?

Ooh-ooh! We can turn off Global Warming!

All we’ve got to do is dim the sun!

Drawing a paycheck from the New York Times gives you a license to babble. So we have the Times’ Ezra Klein–no known expertise in anything–babbling about how we’ve got to “dim the bleeping sun” and face up to the risks of God knows what catastrophe… to stave off Climate Change, blah-blah (https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/business/joseph-vazquez/2021/02/10/insanity-ny-timess-klein-ponders-having-dim-sun-fight).

What does he mean, “dim the sun”?

This idea has been floating around for a few years. They want to fill the atmosphere with tiny particles (allegedly harmless calcium carbonate) to reflect sunlight before it can heat the surface of the planet.

All sorts of people are pleading that this not be done–because no one knows what the effects will be. Proponents are talking about screwing around with enormous natural forces, infinitely complicated, that no one fully understands. What could possibly go wrong?

Klein quotes another birdbrain: “We are as gods, and might as well get good at it.” Yowsah. We’ve been pretty shabby gods so far. Gotta improve. And we will, we will! Because these plans are being hatched by “very, very smart people.”

And guess what! Bill Gates is on board with dimming the sun! You know, Bill Gates–the billionaire who says there are too many people in the world and the population has to be cut way back. It seems a wise policy to be against anything Bill Gates is for.

Mr. Klein and his playmates think they’re cut out to be gods.

But they should stick to what they’re really good at–being fools.

I amb A Vicktum of Climbit Chainge!!!!

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It snowded reel Hard “the” other Day and wooden yiu Know It,, thare was “alll” these hear Biggits And Haters saying This it prooves Globle Wharming it is ca-ca!!!!!

So to schutt themb Up we done a Demminstriation thawt Up “by” us The Stoodint Soviet to proove It Was the Wharming “that” maid It snowe!!!!! Whel wee hadded to Do Somb Thing abuot that!!!!!! We desidid wee wood awl whare Shoarts and thoze Howwhyin shirtes the ones “Whith” flours on themb,, to proove it whasnt Coled Out Syde!!!!!

And dampit i amb Sick agenn!!!!!!!! i slipt “on” “the” Iyce and banged My Hedd!!!!! it was reel badd,, thay hadded To “taik” me to The Infurmury for X–Raze and the nourse she sayed The X–Raze of “my” hedd thay Showd Nothing!!!!!! I mussed edmitt “that” was A Releaf!!!!!!!!! One “of” my Moth Antenners it got bended in haff tho!

I nevver knowded “this” Befour,, butt Being Too Hot it is jist eggzackly “The” saim as Being Too Coled and i doughnt Know How yiu wood evvar Tell “the” Diffrints!!! Climbit Chainge it is Verry Trickky!!

So i has Got “to” staiy In the Infurmury foar a wile Untill thay “figgre” Out watts wrowng whith me!!! I doughnt feeel so Goood!!!!

Waht i Amb goingto Doo whith My Lyfe!!

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I hased a Brane Strom!!! Nhow i Know jist waht I amb Goingto doo whith My Lyfe!!!! i soddenly reelyzed I has got “the” Saim Naim “as” Pressadint Joe Bydin and “So” i amb Goingto maik My selph Jist eggzackly lyke himb!!!!!!!!!! That whay thare “wilbe” Two! Of! himb so in Caise “one of” Us hasto go in fore Repears thare wil “Still” “be” one leffed Out Syde!!

So I amb whirking on “geting” Hary Leggs jist “lyke” Jo Bydin’s Hary Legs and it woont “be” eezy becose i has got Hardlee “enny” hare on “My” leggs!!!!! butt i doo has Moth Antenners “on” my Hedd and i Can Cohm themb so thay loook jist lyke Joh Bydin’s Hedd Hare!!!!!

Nhow somb boddy thay toleded me i “has” got To Lurn how to Plaguejurize becose that “is” waht Jo Bydin he duz al “The” Tymbe!!!!!!!!!! i has nevvir Plaguejurized nothing befour butt I amb toled that jist aboot Annyboddy thay can “Lurn” “how!”!” Jist taik stuff that somb boddy Elss thay sayed “and” say i sayed itt!!!

Jo Bydin and me tho we whil has “tobe” Cair Full nott “tobe” seeen Two-gethur att “the” Saim Tyme becose thenn somb Biggit Haters thay whil say that “one Of” us he “is” Faik!!!!!! butt as sooon as Jo he gets ridd “Of” the Furst Emendmint thenn That it willbe “No Promble” becose no boddy thay whil “notbe” Aloud to say nothing lyke “that”!”!”

Well i caint harredlee Whait tilll i groh mats and matts of Legg Hares and al the Littel Chilldrin thay wil whant “to” Play whith themb In “the” Swimmbing Poool!!!!!!!!!!

‘Law Prof “Debunks” Parental Rights’ (2017)

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If you put a liberal brain in a bird, it’d fly backwards. Like so:

Law Prof ‘Debunks’ Parental Rights

This hot-shot law prof seems to think “the state” invented parenthood. People can live without the state; but if no one gets born, that’s the ball game. So Mr. Kourtroom Klanger got it backwards. It took some time for people to invent the state, but there was never a time without parenthood.

But he’s what we offer up as our version of an intellectual.

That explains a lot about our recent history.

We Has A Histry Lessen!!!

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I amb not Sick no moar and “this” moaning We hadded a Histry Lessen it was al abuot Haow Karl Marcks he rited The Decklerasion “Of” Indypendintz while “his” Bruthers thay wher maiking Moovies that “is” wye themb moovies thay was in Black and wyte becose thay “are” so olld!!!!

Back then evry thing “it” was Purfict,, thare wasnt no Incum Innequallaty or nothing lyke “That” until wite peeple thay Caim “over” on the Maiflour and thay brung Capptolism and runed evry Thing!!!!! and Aberhamb Linkin he comed allong and made Slavery and Sisstemick Racism!!!!!

We “are” stil tryying to Cach somb one for a Hyumin Sackerfyce “To”” Pressadint Obomma so he can maik Incum Innequallaty and Climbit Chains and Instratutchinal Racism go awaiy butt “evrytyme” we pick somb boddy fore That thay hyde on us oar Run Aweigh and aslo a Sackerfyce it whill enabel Pressadint Obomma to “taik” Hyumin Formb!!!!! He says “he” “is” geting Tyred “of” beeing this heer Fat Wite guy and watt Is taiking us so lawng??? Aslo it is geting kyned of Expenstive “to” feeed himb tooo!!! Lassed nite he ated Fillay Meenion and Lobbstir and a grate big Caik!!!!

Well i nevvar studdyed no Histry befoar;, yiu shure can lern “Somb” sapprizing Things!!!!!!

Pressadint Obamma he Is “Heer”!!!

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I caint beleave “my” ayes!!!!!!!!!! Pressadint Obamma he “is” heaer,, he is acturelly heer, rihght Heer on our Own Collidge Campas!!!!! He is Heer in Hyumin Formb!!!!!

Somb of us butt Not Me we wher “a” Littel Canfused at frist i gess becose he dint Look “eggzackly” lyke we thawt,, in facked he Looked lyke a Short Fat Gye and aslo he dint Look Black atoll!!!!! for a minnit thare i thinked somb “Of” the Stoodint Soviet we wher goingto Attack himb, lyke he was Ownly Pre-tendding to be Pressadint Obamma,,, thay evin Grabed his Dryvers Lysints and it sayed his naimb it was Rikky Stoonatta or somb thing Lyke “that” butt then he eggsplaned it “To” us!!!

Sombtimes wen I taik on hyuman formb” he sayed “it doughnt com Out egzackly Rihght like It “awt to” becose “It Is harrder then It Looks!”!” That thare lysints it turrned Out Rawng tooo!! So we toled himb abote al The trubble “we” hadded whith his Statchoo and the hed keeped fawllin Off Etc. and aslo the hyumin Sackrafyce we “whanted” to give himb,, that Person he runned Away and we “coodnit Catch” himb so we sackrafyced somb Card Bored insted.

Butt he was Very “grayshiss” abuot it And he jist sayed “Sea? That’s” ware “evry thing it wendt wrawng and That is Wye i camed Out “looking lyke” this hear rikki Stoodnatta guy insted of Me!!!! Neckst tymb you Better Maik a reel Sackrafyce and then i whil” “look lyke Me!”” So then we All under-standded it!!!

Nhow that he Is Heer we has to Give “himb” lots of foood And beeer And anny thing Elsa he whants and aslo Munny And toys And Marrawanna and he “wil” Staye whith us A Wile and he wil giv us Good Grayds and teatch us Al Abote Socile Jutstus!!!!!! Aslo we has got to Giv himb a hole Dorm al to himbself and aslo somb Other “things” that i amb Not Aloud to Tawlk Abote!!!!!!

I wunder Haow “Lawng” he wil staye heer!!! he can Evin has “my” Jimb Sox iff he gets hungry so i bettre Not eet themb al My Selphf!!!!!

I Amb reely Sick Nhow!!!!

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I amb riting this heer Poast “fromb” the Collidge Infurmery becose i amb Still sick becose i must’of eated Too Mutch Play-Doh in facked our hole Stoodint Soviet wee “are” Awl Sick!!!!!

This it “Is” becose Of Racism,, somb Racist thay “put” somb Thing in “the” Play-Doah and nhow wen we do Numbber Twoo it is lyke A Rock!!!! and its In “alll” The Play-Doh cullers red and yalu and blue etc.,!! and it stil pheels lyke i has got a lode of Gravvle in my gutz!!!!! we wher Ownly triing “To” avoyd eeting meet and vejtubbles and somb Poor Gye his leggs thay fell Offf!!!! Butt “It Is” a Smawl Pryce to Paye for Socile Jutstus!!!!!!!!

Thay taked my tempertchure Tooday and it “was” like Sevinty-One deegrees oar sombThing, sea i awlyays knowed i wood Get “a” Deegree! and my Moth Antenners thay “Are” spining al a-ruond And a-ruond lyke Crayzie!!!! Yiu arnt saposed To “get” Sick fromb eeting Play-Doh,, we must’of got Poysinned by a Biggit!!!! i bet crisschins done It,,, thay wher Mad At Us foar stoping Crismiss!!!

“The” Dockter she sayed i whil Get Beter but i Cant “eeat” no moar Play-Doh butt she doughnt know i has got A Hole Stash in “my prefessers” Toool Shedd so ha-ha-ha “on” Her!!!!!!

Somb Boddy thay sayed tooday it “Is” Noo Yeers butt that Cant “be” rihght becose Its ownly Jannyuery!!!

I Amb Sick Agen!!!!

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We hadded A spacial Party “last” nite four Al “the” Stoodint Soviet, it wasnt crissmiss Eave, we hadded a Pressadint Obomma Paarty insted “and” It was reely Grate axept the Gye we “wher” “goingto” Sackrafise he runned “away” And we coodnit cache himb so we hadded to Sackrafise somb Card Bored insted!!!

And aslo we had spagetty “and” Meetbolls maid “out” Of Play@Doh becose it is sexist to eet meet so we ated Play-Doh and i mustof ated tooo mutch and nhow i pheel so Sick!!!!!!!!!! i coodnit harrdlie “get out” Of bedd too-day and so fore Brexfisst i ated somb Tisshoo Payper but That it “didnt” Help At Alll!!!!!

Oh i amb goingto heeve!!!

Whe was goingto has “anether” Party too-day for Pressadint Hillery but i has herd “that” evry Boddy thay Are awl too Sick to cellarbraite;; mayby we shoodnitof drinked that stuph that comes Out “of” Car battaryes it was Sappozed to get us High!!! and swallering Alka Seltser on topp “of” It that didnt Help ether!!!!

I cant rite no “moar” i amb pheeling wooozy!!!

Dambit!!! We has Got Hare Balls!!!!

Hairballs in Cats: Causes, Symptoms, and Remedies

Dambit awll!!! Thare reely was Cat Hares in that Woke Co-Vidd Caik we hadded “last” weak,, “thare” Was lots “of” Cat Hares “in” It and i eated a hole Lot Of that caik and i Been has Hair Bawlls evry Day!!! jist lyke somb stopid Cat!!!!!!

Sombtymes “It Is” reeely harred To Be “a” Socile Jutstus Wirer,, nhow I cant Evin Eet jim sox whith-out “geting” anether Hare Bawll!! and i amb knot “the” ownly One!!! we has al has hairbawls!!!! and It Is “a” Big Shayme becose Pressadint Obomma he kneads “us” “to” Riot and do Protist stuph but itt Is So harred “to” brake shopp Whindows wile yiu “Are” hasing a hairbawlll!! Our hole Collidge we Are alll Sick!!!!! We tryed to has a meting “of” the Stoodint Soviet twoday And wee coodnt do it evry Boddy thay was Going eck-eck-eck all over!!

And thenn It got wurst!!!!!!!

Sumb guy he tolded us We cood “cure” Hare Bawlls by drinkin lots “of” hamb berger greece,, witch we beleaved and so somb “Of” us we tryed It “and” we coodnt Evin Pick “up” a brick let aloan Throwh It!!!!! Jist thinken Abuot it maiks me feeel Horrabull!!! I whish peeple thay wood “Be” moar Cairfull of waht thay Teeched us!!!!! How yiu goingto Be a Interllectural wen thay teeching Things witch maiks yiu evin Siccker???

We “are” supoased to got a Eczam too marrow in Nothing Studies and i jist amnt reddy F”or” it!!!!!!

 

‘The Threat of Male Masculinity’ (2017)

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What kind of world will it be, once left-wing drivelmeisters succeed in erasing every last vestige of male-ness?

The Threat of Male Masculinity

Oh! And don’t forget–the nooze media tell us we just voted for four years of this schiff! At least 80 million of us. We just can’t get enough of it, can we?