Hear at Collidge us Introllecturals we lern “things” we nevver knowed “abote” Before!
Yeasterdday “in” Intorsexonal Gender Studdies the teetcher she toled “us” yiu got to Has a Imadginery Freind who willl alyaws tel yiu “wen” yiu are thinkin or sayin or doing somthing “that” Is Sexist or Hatful or Micro Grecian!!! and the “Best Thing” abuot it is yore Imadginery Freind ze becombs Reel!! Jist by sayin you has one,, yiu reely has it!!!
My Imadginery Freind ze “is A” Trans Ghirl named Scrodd i think “that” Is a reel neiss Name!! and Now she gose whith me warevir i amb and yiu know waht?? I axually seen xer!!!! butt ze dont whant me to tel yiu waht ze looks lyke!! becose xe amnt done Trans Itchining yhet! so al I wil “say Is” that ze is reel Biutafull!! evin more Gorjist than Kate Lynn Jender!!!!!
Jist a minnit Aggo i was jist abote to rite “She” insted of “Ze” and wow did Scrodd let me has it for that!!! That “is” howe I got stoppped fromb making a Sexist Micro Grecian!!! and jist nhow ze is teling me i cant eeat no Wyte Jim Sox no moar i can only eeat Plad Sox becose them wyte Sox thay are Racist!!!
I can allreddy fiel my Intralleck groing by leeps and bownds!!!!
Well! I wented to a lexture last “nihght” and It was al abote Passed Lifes and waht do yiu know,, i has got a hole buntch of Passed Lifes! i was evven Nipolion oncet!! but i had me a evven moar Impotant Passed Life then that!!
I aslo hadded a Passed Life As Hillery Clintin!! O man it dusnt get batter than this!!! No wunder “i” has alyaws feeled sutch “A” Bond whith her!! Like man i “was” rihght thare wen Hillery she was jist a Baby wen she was borned and thay naimed her “after” That Guy who climed MT. Everlast a few yeers layter!!! and I was aslo her wen she gotted maried to Billl Clintin he was Pressadint oncet. i whished i culdof keeped on “being” her but then I got bornded as My Self so i Wasnt Hillery “no more!!””
Now it Makes me wunder iff mayby Hillery she hadded a Passed Life as me!!!!! i bet she did! If only “we” culd get To-gether and talk abuot our Passed Lifes and mayby eat some Nice Jim Sox, sory but i am getting Hungary and somtimes that makes “my” Moth Antenners itch somthing Feerce!! Butt i wil save her a tastee Hankerchiff in case she “Vizzits” our Collidge somday!!!!
P.S. I “think” the wimmin who gived the lexture she mustof been a Angle becose she knowed so mutch “abote” Passed Lifes!!
Well, look what I found in the archives–the precursor of Joe Collidge! Although I think Joe is funnier than Egbert.
America, you’d be doing yourself a priceless favor if you defunded the colleges and universities.
Hear it is mor prooof that No “mater” waht a wimmin she says, it “is” true!!
The boss commassar of “our” Stodent Soviet she “had” A Grate Idear last nihght and this Collidge we are goingto Do It!!!
Thare’s this ghuy named Mavvarick or somthing like that and wite supremes thay are trying to Putt him on the Supremassist Court and this grate idear “it” Is to give alll stodents **Free Ackadermic Creddit** !! four iff thay Protest Him!! And the Commassar she thawt It wood be Evin Bettter if thay gived Free Ackadermic Creddit like when-evver yiu Protest “any Thing”!!! Al yiu got To “do is”” Protest enuohgh and yiu “are” haffweiy to getting yore Deegree!!!
And this it is Brillyint, yiu get a Deegree in Any sujbect yiu whant!!! I knowe one ghuy he is in my Gender Studdies 666 class he is goingto Protest a hole lot and get “a” Deegree in Enginearing!!!! Then he can make “lots of Munny” bilding Brijjes!! It dont mater if All the Creddits yiu got thay are only from Protesting,, yiu can stil get a Deegree to be a Dockter or a Climbit scyantits or watevver!! If yiu “are a” Socile Jutstus Wirer yiu are Smart enuohgh to do Any thing Any how!!
This it is furrther Prooof that Combunism it reely whirks!!!!!!
Wow! We just hered that Kornel Unavercity thay going To “spend” Sixtie Millon Dolors to “get” more Dyvercity!! (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11354) and that Is “a”lot of monny!!!
Us stodents hear at Our Collidge we whant to spend “even mor” Than that!! becose Dyvercity it is Impotant!! Thare “isnt” nothin mor Impotant then Dyvercity and only wen yiu “has” True and Puer Dyvercity is wen yiu Can finely “get ridd”Of al them Conserfatives and Christins so thare is No mor of Themb on Campas!!!
Some Hater and Biggit he sayed “wear did Kornel get $$60 Millin Dolors for Dyvercity??” Wel he is so stopid i Cant fined wherds for “it”!! It dont mater Wear thay “get The” monny! and it Is hat speach jist to Ask that thare stopid Quistoin!!!! So a buntch of Us we beet him “up” for not being Dyvercity enuohgh!!! Yiu has to get ridd “of” evry boddy whoo got The rong Opinoin and only then yiu has reel Dyvercity!!!!
So i dont “know” wear thay got “The” $$$Sixty Myllyon Dolors and i dont Care!!! i gess thay jist founed it,, heck somtimes I finded monny in facked jist the utther Day “i” founed a quorter in “the” Praking Lot behined Trotsky Haul! and if yiu fined lots And lots of quorters and aslo dymes and nichols it Al Ads Up to $$$$6i0 millun dolors or may be evin mor!!!!!
Some utther Biggit Hater Racist he sayed is “This waht we payin al that Tution four??” and we beet Him Up two. Some “day” theze hear Biggits thay wil lurn that Reel Dyvercity it meens thay got “to” Shut UP!!!
Fill in the blank and win a prize! “I send my children to college to be educated by idiots and wackos because __________.”
A 69-year-old sociology professor at the College of Southern Nevada recently went into a university bathroom, pulled a gun, and shot himself in the arm (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/trump-protest-professor-shoot-himself-college-university-southern-nevada-california-mark-bird-a8542771.html). He did this “to protest Trump.” Good heavens… he shot himself for Hillary? He’s crazier than I thought.
Uh, perfesser, what was supposed to happen after you shot yourself? The president resigns because he doesn’t what you to shoot yourself in the other arm? We keep holding the election over and over again until your side wins? How did you expect to influence current events, or change history, by doing this? I mean, really, what was the flaming point of shooting yourself in the arm? (Please don’t tell me he aimed at his head and missed!)
And for all the public money we pour into the colleges, we must be almost as crazy as he is.
Scientists at Fanabla University have discovered “significant decrease in brain volume” in persons who are politically liberal.
“We are most grievously dismayed to discover this,” said Dr. Haffa Baggon, director of the research team, “but this is now the settled science, so there’s nothing that can be done about it.”
As the brain shrinks, he explains, the interior of the cranium fills up with “this disgusting fatty tissue” completely surrounding the brain.
The average adult liberal male, the research team found, “has a brain no bigger than a freakin’ orange,” said a team member who did not wish to be identified. “The all-time small brain champion,” he added, was a Gender Studies professor whose brain was the size of a walnut.
The researchers, according to a reliable source, are currently preparing to flee to another continent.
Hear at Collidge we was going “to” make a Goolog for al them biggits and christins “and” Throw them al into It and we amlost done it too only than we Finded Out that them Goologs in Russha thay “were reely” nice plaices!!!
Somboddy i thinck he Is “a” con-servvative he sayed the Goologs “thay” was jist theese offle consintraction camps “in” Cybeeria but we quick figgered Out he ownly sayed “that” jist to try To make Commbunizzm loook bad!!! We lernt that fromb Trans stodents down thare in Brittin! thay sayed peeple thay got sended to Goologs becose that it Was “the” Cumpashenit thingg to do!!!!
Well!! Jist think how dum we wuld of fellt iff we sended Biggits to a Nice Plaice!! thay was probly jist Iching to be sended “thare”!! But hahaha the joake it is on themb!!!!!
We stil goingto has a Goolog but insted of sending biggits thare we will send our selfs!!! How abote that yiu dum biggits!??! We get the Goolog and yiu jist “has” To stay outsyde!! We whil be doing Play Doh “and” eatin Soy Cookys wile yiu has “to” whork!!
PS>.–i Lookeded up Cybeeria on a Map “butt” thare is no sutch plaice it was jist “An Other” lye them biggits tolled about Commbunizzm!