Things thay “are” geting kindof harred hear At collidge becose we Are “Runing” Out “of” food!! i doughnt know whye,, thare jist Isnt no Foood combing in! it stoped groing Or sombthing!!
We aslo hasnt Got “no” sporets becose Of “the” Corny Vyris evvrything it “Is” alll shut Down. Whell!!! The Base Ball teem thay “are” “not” playing any Base Ball and so no boddy thay are Using the ballls and every boddy thay are saying “wee “Are” Hungary fore Base Ball we whant Base Ball!!!
Neckst thing We “knowed,” this hear Laydy Mrs. Skinnard she combed up “whith” Food!! She muts be “a” Jeaniuss!!!! Yiu know whatt she didded??? She maided Steuw out “of” themb Base Balls, she maided Base Ball Steuw!!! and she Evin has got “a” Slowgin,, “”Are Yiu Hungary fore Base Ball?? Trye Mrs. Skinnard’s Innards”!!” Becose it “is” The Innards of themb Base Balls that “Are” In “the” steuw fore yiu To eet!!!!!!! It is kindof Stringie becose thay are Lotts of String in a Base Ball butt iff yiu puts lotts “Of” Sault in it then It doughnt tayst So Bad!!!! She sayed she tryed to “use” “the” Base Ball Covers tooo but “thay” whir tooo Harred to choo and Swallow!!!!
Then wee tryed to ficks the Statchoo “of” Pressadint Obomma it broak wen we puled “it” daown that Was “a” Mis-Steak and then his Hed it fell offf and we coodnt Gloo “it” back so we maided a new Hed out “of” A “punkin” and that is probbly Wye “our Foood” it stoped groing!!!!! Wel, at leest nhow we “got” Mrs. Skinnard’s Innards we can eet!!!!
A tearrabble, tearrable Thing it has hapened Heer “at” Collidge!!!!!!!
I gess we jist “got” tooo exited aboat Taring down Stachoos becose we runned “out” “of” Stachoos and then It Was A Horrabul Missteak i doughnt know “How” to axplane it Oh man! We jist cuddnt Stop “and” Neckst thing yiu know We Tared Down The Stachoo Of Pressadint Obomma!!!!!!!
Dam it was “the” ownly Stachoo we hadded Left and we jist cuddnt “stopp” and It got tared Down!!!! Ownly then did we Reeleyes watt we done!!!! and then it “was” too Lait!!!! and wen the Deen he seen “the” Stachoo layin “On” the Growned he jist keeeled rihght Over!!!
Watt has we did??
and then One “of” The prefessers she come Over “and” Yelled At us,, “Yiu stoopid bug-branes aint yiu lernt nothing at all???? Doughnt yiu Know “Pressadint Obomma” he “is” a god???? Our hole collidge it Got a Cursse on “it” nhow!!!” boy was she madd!!! And she sayed we are “all” goingto Get “the” Corny Vyrus and Dye!!!!!!!!!! we tryed To Putt the Stachoo back but thend we droped it And the Hedd it broak off!!!!!!
Well we are Doomded,, no Queschin aboat It; yiu Can jist aboat Heer the Vyrus lickin his Lipps!! Butt thend anether Prefesser he come Along and he sayed we has got “to Do” a Hyumin Sackerfyce “It is “the” Ownly Whay!! and thend” it all got Kind Of stickky wen we tryed “to” Decyde whoo shood be “the” Sackerfyce@ we Are stilll werking “on” that and We Beter Hurry…!!!
This it is jist Tearabble News!! Our Collidge it “is” Going Banck-Rupped!!!
It “looks” Like thare isnt no-One heer becose us Stoodints whoo “is” heer we “are” Hyding to maik “it” Look like no-boddy thay is heer!!! Al the Othirs thay gone Hoam becose “of” “the” Corny Vyris and nhow we has heered thay isnt “cumming” Back!!!! I over-hered a prefesser he sayed it “Is” becose thair famblies thay doughnt Whant “to” send themb Back becose thay think Collidge it is Turnning thair kidds into idjits!!!!! Well that “is” jist ezackly “waht” yood Expecked fromb ordrinary Dum peeple,, that Cant tel “the” Diffrints anymoar Betwean a Interllectural and a Idjit!!!!!!!!
“The” collidge Pressadint he sayed ether the collidge It whill Run Out “of” Munny and go Banck-Rupped becose of Very Lo Inrollmint oar Else “thay whill” has to Raze the Tooission to like A Hunderd Thousind Dolors A Yeer!!!!! And holy smoak it taikes yiu Five Yeers to “get” a Batchler Deegree “in” Nothing Studdies and Gender Studdies it taiks Eeven longer!!!!!
Wel whoo has “that” kyned “of” munny??? So nhow our Eddicasion it “is” At Steak!!!!!!!!!!
So we hadded a Merjintsy meting “of” “the” Stoodint Soviet and we voated that fromb Nhow On “we” whill be aloud “to” Pay whith Mannoply Munny!!!! But eevin “that” it whill be harred becose i hasnt got no Mannoply Gaim. Luckally our Cheef Commassar she sayed she wood Give “me” somb if i wood Be “her” Slaive!!!! That sowndid like “A” goood deel to me!!! She sayed iff she Can “get” enuohgh Slaives she Can Starrt a Plan Tasion and we Can al live Thare!!!
Butt al this promble it “wil” Go Awaiy wen Jo Byden he is Electrad Pressadint becose thenn Alll Collidge Eddacasion it whill be Freee!!!!!!!!
Right now you’re probably asking yourself, “Are there 36 alien civilizations out there?” Disregarding the short answer–“No”–what about all those “new calculations” that indicate there are 36 alien civilizations out there in the universe?
But alas, they’re all way too far away for us to ever get in contact with them.
You’ve got to applaud Science for resolutely marching on toward total irrelevance. In the absence of anything like evidence, the “calculations” don’t even rise to the level of shots in the dark. But of course for people who don’t know the difference between evidence and pure assumptions untainted by any kind of facts, this will not be a problem. Evolution is real so there!
I amb hear to Lexture yiu on Socilissm it is grate!!!!!!!!
Thare”s this hear Gye he is awlyaws Saying how he whants “to” Go “to” Vanazaila becose thay has Got sociolissm thare and “it” “is” so Fyne and woodnt yiu Know “it,”, his fambly thay buyd himb a Plain Tikkit to go thare!! It mustof been Expinsiv becoause thay ownly Buyed himb a OneWay tikkit and toled himb thay “wood” shoot himb “if” he Evver come backque!!!!!
Yiu Can jist immajin haow Jellice i was and Evvry Boddy else tooo!!!! We wood al lyke “to” “go” “To” Vinnieswayla and En-joiy Sosciulism!!! Why,, yiu cant evin Be “in” Collidge unlest yiu “are” A Socilist!!!
Sea that thare pixture? Sea haow Neet themb shelfs “are”?? Socilism it cleens Up “mess”!!!
To-nihght we “are” Goingto has a Big Pro Test and dee-mannd That this hear dum and stoopid Americka it has “got ” To turn Sosciolisst NOW!!!!!!! We dosnt has to Whorry abuot geting Sickque becose Scyince it says the Korny Vyris it woont “get” “yiu” iff yiu are Pro Testing,, ownly iff yiu “go” To Churtch or try to has a Party at yore howse!!
I amb hear to Say that Vinnazalea it Is “a” Shyning Essampple of Yuropeein Socilissm jist lyke Sweedin and Zim Bob Way!!!!!
When did the university turn into the place where you went to “learn” things that are flatly and undeniably untrue? When did the liberal arts turn into Nothing Studies?
Behold, the woman is a fool–and a tenured fool, at that.
But what I’d really like to know is why–if she isn’t just plain crazy–she insists there are a whole bunch of genders instead of only two. What does she get out of it? Then again, what is our whole Western civilization getting out of the transgender delusion?
And why do we keep on pouring money into colleges–when we should be shutting them down, not building them up.
I amb hear to Tell yiu “that” Amairicka kneeds Moar Censershipp espatially of Amairickins and aslo espatially of Lee that bumb!!! Do yiu know “he” is Wrighting anether “one” “of” those Boocks that No Boddy thay shoodnt be not aloud “to” Reed??? Do yiu know his Boocks “thay” are Un-Constatoocionull??? Its ture!!! His Boocks thay got God in themb and peple Praying and no Trans Ginder Amairickins even thoh “thare” “are” at leest 85 Millyin “of” themb!!!
Jist thinck “waht” A Grate Cuontry this hear it wood Be if we hadded Moar Sensershipp and No Boddy cood Ever “say” hat speach and Micro Grecians or Anny Thing elsa!!!! Jist thinck how Grate it wood “be” iff Evry Boddy thay wood jist Shut Upp axept for us who is “in” Collidge it”s OK foar Us to say stufff becose “we” are Introllecturals!!!! Ownly reel Smart peeple like us at Collidge shood say things “and” all themb ordrinay dum peeple themb Dee-Plorabbles thay “shood” al jist not say Nothing!!!!
It “is” Censershipp waht maid the combunits cuontries So Grate,, “and” How can yiu evver has Sosiallism iff thare “is” No Censershipp???
My Nothing Studdies prefesser she sayed waht we “reely knead” is somb Masheen “that” gets hooked Up “to” yore Brane and wil Give yiu a Lectrick Shock wenevver “yiu” Thinck Sombthing Bad!!!!! It wood “be” eevin Bettor if No Boddy hadded no Branes at all!!! Branes ownly “get” yiu In trubble Anyway!!! Lookit Jo Byden,, he gets By “jist” fyne with-Out no Brane!!
We reely has got to “get Rid of” all Boocks “that” Are Nott a-prooved by the Stoodint Soviet!!!!!
I jist readed “that” thare poast Abuot the Slyme Moles (ha-ha stopid Lee he spelt it Rong!!)) and haow thay do stufff when thay hasnt “got” No Brane and hasnt got “no” Nervs neether!!!!
Welll heer “At” Collidge we has bin Getting Bye whith-out Branes foar yeers And yeers!!!! that it is Probbly wye us in Nothing Studdies none of Us has got no Korny Vyris!!! Yiu “can” lurn Al Abuot Beeyonsay and Not kneed anny Brane “At” alll!!!!!!
Them Slyme Moles thay shoor “are” Insteresting!!! Thay lurn al Soarts “of” Things like Calqulous and Kemistree and Femmanist Buyollagy and! thay dose It “all” whith-out no Branes!!!! and sumb boddy thay toled me Joh Bydin he has got a Pet Slyme Mole caulled Nickeeta whoo rites sumb “of” his Speatches foar himb!!!!!!
Oncet we has got “reel” Sosiulism heer “In” Amaricka then we “wil” kneed lots And Lots of Slyme Moles to rhun the Guvvermint!!!!! If yiu are trying “to do” a Sosiulist Guvvermint,,, Branes thay ownly “get” “in” The whay!!! Iff peple thay wood ownly Stop “Thincking” then thay wood “Unner-stand” haow Sosulism it reely whurks!! Burny he was rihght Abote That!!!!!!!
Sumb boddy thay shood In-vent a Opperasion oar else a Meddasin to taik ouat “the” Brane,, mayby Mellt “it” so it runs Out yore Eers,, we are “trying” Our Besst heer at Collidge to nootrullize the Brane but we “hasnt” “got” “it” figgred Out Yett! Eddacasion it “can” ownlee Do So Mutch!!! The rest it “is” Up to Scyince!!!!!!!!!!
It takes years and years to turn an idiot into an idiot who talks like an intellectual; but never let it be said our institutes of Higher Education aren’t up to the challenge. As you read Joe’s careful presentation, you’ll marvel at the actual results of umpteen years in college.
Go ahead. Open the link. Read Joe’s essay. I triple-dog dare you.
