Tag: foolish intellectuals

Heer ‘Is” Waht We Reely Neeed!!! from 9/16/2022

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The History Behind Teepee Dwellings- Teepee Joy Blog

Yiu “are” nhow loooking At “a” pixture of the New Dorm we jist bilt heer At Collidge!!! We has figgred Out “waht” we reely neeed heer Is “moar” oh dam this it “is” Hard to spel!!! OK i got it= “Indagent-I-Zayshin”!”!

Yiu Are probbly aksing yore Self “Whel waht dose That “meen”?”?” I whil tel yiu! It meens maiking evry Thing jist lyke it wuz wen it was jist Indignant Peeople livving heer!!!!! Naytiff Amairakans!!!!! and no boddy Ellse!!!

Somb Hater she sayed ‘Waht iff” no boddy “wants to live In T.P.s insted of billdigns witch has Air Cundissioning and Sentril Heeting?”?”? but yiu Cant say “things” “lyke” that arowned Heer so six “Of” us we beet her Up!!!! She puled Out “one Of” my moth antcenners tho And “that” reely hert!!!!!

Fromb nhow On evry boddy thay has to Live “in” T.P.s becose That “is” “haow” It wuz befour Wyte peeple caime “And” ruinded Evry Thing!!!!!! Lookit Elizzabith Worrin!! Yiu can be Shure she is goingto Get Ridd “of” her stopid “Houwse” and live In “a” T.P. fromb nhow On!!!!! Heer At Collidge we “are” Tryying to has as mutch Intagratty as her!!!!!

Butt it whil Still “be” OK for reely impotant Peeple to live In Houwses!!!!

Collidge ‘it’ Is Hard Sumbtimes! From 2018

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Sumbtimes Gender Studdies “it” is So hard butt our Prefesser xe knows “that” and xe Dont whant us “to” get al Stresszed Out so tooday xe taked Awaiy our Tecksbook becose it “Is” hard four us to reed thare Are a lott “of” big Words in “it” and makes Us feeel so Bad and so insted fromb now On wee wil Studdy car toons and graffic novles!! And aslo we wil get More Play Doh!

xe aslo gaved us This hear graffic Novle it “is” caled Oy Rodney and ze sayed we shuld Oauhght to studdy it to fined al “The” micro Gresions and biggity thats In it!! Xhe aslo ze sayed we Got to whach Out four al “the” Wite Privvlidge that in it and then We whill has a Test witch it shuld Not be “two hard” becose Al we “has to” Do is go out And key cars!!!

This hear Oy Rodney it “is” jist tarrible!!!!  That is becose “it” shoes jist wat Wimmins thay is Up “aginst” and aslo thare “Is” a lot of Sexule Horassmint in it tooo;, It makes “me” so Mad i has to Stopp and play whith Play Doh til my Moth Antenners thay stopp twitchin And wuld yiu beleave it I got in trubble for That!!! The prefesser xe sayed “Cant yiu” stop “that?? it is distracking al The “othher” stodents”! Wel i cant Help it its becose Of “al” them Moth Hormoans thay shot me Up whith to try to get my cromo-Soames to turn intto Wimmin cromo-Soames and i cant Help It if “the” exspearmint it dint work!!! So xe mayed me ware this hear Pointy Hat so no one thay “wuld see” my Antenners!

O wel! in jist Fyve moar yeers I “wil” Get my Batchler’s Deegree in Gender Studdies and “Than” i can start on My Masters! and Eaventurly i wil Be a reel Intrallectural!!!

Joe Collidge: Movie Review REPRINT

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From August 2, 2019

I seen a reely Grate movy last “nihght” thay showed it to us “in” Nothing Studies and i didnt get the Tital it was in Chineese but anyhow “it” was ether a Brittish movy or Check i dont “know,, i get themb two contries mixted up sombtimes!!

It was al abote Climbit Chainge maiking “the” whorld come to a end and this evel pressadint he was like Donold Trumpt,, he ownly whanted Evryboddy to Die!!! so he culd maik a prophitt!!! So he woodnt let annyboddy Save The Planet But ha-ha-ha the joak “it” Was “on” himb wen he got Drownded becose the see-levels they comed up over “the” Wite Howse and he coodnt swimb!!! That was Lanardo Dee Cabron who played himb!!!

In depsaration the whorld it turned to wimmin of culler and “one” “of” themb she Got To be Pressadint of the hole Whorld and she fixted evry Thing!!! She made a 110$% tax raite and Open Boarders and lots more Transgender and rihght away evry Thing “it” strated to Get Beter!!! And then yiu know watt she done?? She “got” A hole buntch of Whiches to make a magickle spel and that putt “a” Stopp “to” al the Bad Whether!!!! And than wee hadded Comunism and evry Thing “it” Was Purfict!!!!

I love themb movyes wen thay “are” abote Socile Jutstus i whish thare was Moar Of themb and the Guvernmint thay shood maik evryboddy See Themb over and over agen!!!!!!!!!!

‘Ton Ey Curtus’s Hand!!’ (2017) Joe Collidge Reprint

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See? It is Ether “his” rihght Hand oar his Lefft Hand witch is mising, Alfrid Hich-coke Cut “it” offf whith a soard!!!!

Robbie the cat is lying on top of my notes and I haven’t got the heart to move her. This vintage “Joe Collidge” piece is the only title peeking out from under the cat.

Well, we can always use a good laugh. It’s a gift from God.

Ton ey Curtus’s Hand!!

And now the cat gets up and walks away!

Happy Sunday, everybody.

 

Our New Yeer’s rezzalutoins!! REPRINT

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From January 4, 2019

Whell, jist in Time,, i joyned our collidge’s Pro Choyce Cacas! and thay has gived Us “alll” a liszt of New Yeer’s Rezzalutoins!! The Pro Choyce Cacas thay maded al Our “choyces” fore us,; how grate is that??? Al wee has to do Is “obay” themb!!!

And hear thay are!

We Rezolfe to whare only “the” Cloathes the Cacas says we “has” got to whare Evry Day!!

We Rezolfes to reed “The” Handmade’s Tail over and ovar agin and keap Reeding it so we know “it bye” hart!!

We rezolfes to get Inta Canfrontaycions whith christins and conserfatiffs Evry Day and keap Doingit “untill” thay Minds thay are rihght!!!

We rezolfes to go to Bed evry Nihght wen the Cacas say we shuld!

We rezolfe only “to” use themb brandnew Pro Nouns that the Cacas thay has jist maded Up,: like Gzee and Gzaa and Gzuu and Lunnabunna and a “lot of” Others,, i has not yett Bin Abel to memberyze themb alll, “thay are” for al the New Genders that has got “to be” Re-speckted!!! Al themb Old Pro Nouns thay “are” Trans Foabbick!!

Aslo we has got to say “the” F Bomb at leest Oncet in evry sentints becose this hear it Willl aleavvyate globbal Povverte and Sex Ism!! I all reddy started Doingit but that stopid lee he is “goingto” deeleet al my F Balms!! [Editor’s note: You got that right, Joe.]

And aslo tooo we Rezolfe to Hate all the hatters and biggits That are “arond” hear on the Campas and to Hate themb “until” thay jist Drop Dedd!!!!!

So thoze thay are all “The” Rezzalutoins that The Pro Choyce Cacas thay has choze for us!!

Trumpt’s name Reely Is Hat Speech! REPRINT

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From March 3, 2017

I has sumthing elsse To “tell” yiu abote today But first i has been aksed to waygh in “on” weather Donold Trumpt’s his Name it “is” hat speech!

Wel of corset is!! Hear at my Collidge nobody istnt aloud To “say” his name And iff yiu do yiu got To “get” Sensertivitty Training! Yiu onely aloud to Say “Pressadint Obamma or” Pressadint Hillery becose them Rushans Thay hacked The elecktoin and made Donold trumpt Pressadint and “it” wassnt fare!!! and iff yiu Dont say “Pressadint Obamma” that meens yiu Are A Racist and iff yiu Dont say Pressadint Hillery that meens yiu hat Wimmins and yiu Are “a” Secksist! i am Gladd yiu aksed me “to” explane This!

This mourning in Gender Studies 202 we lernt abote This hear Grate Book and it was aslo A Movie it was caled “The” Harrad Exspearmint and It “was” abote Harrad Collidge whare They done this Exspearmint al abote teeching Stodents to do sexule things That “Sociaty” disprooves of so that Thay wil “laern” to dispise the tredicional Consept “of” Moonagimmy by Having Lots of Pre-Martyral Sex!! Wow was that Grate!! and The prefesser he sayed this hear book And “then” the Movie it reely got the Sexule Reverlution offf The growned!!

And somboddy he Aksed The prefesser How “come” we dont Doo that hear at Our Collidge and he sayed “Wee has moved” on From that and now Wee got to get al the stodents to do Gender Fluaditty and aslo Gay Marridge! becose that was whatt Naterly comes neckst! And he aslo sayed that if we does enuhgh Secks that Donold Trumpt he wil Be drived out Of offfice! and Pressadint Obamma he will be Pressadint agian even thogh he Still is and he Wil fixx evrything and then He Wil go play Golph and it Wil “be” Hillerys tern to be Pressidint!!  How abote that!!!

I hoope yiu ordrinary dum peple apareciates The haigh-class Thinking “us” Interllecturals we are Doing for Yiu hear “at” collidge!

Conservative Cowards REPRINT

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From March 22, 2013

Not content with abandoning his place in our defenses, Jonah Goldberg in his townhall.com column today tries to lure his readers to the Dark Side, arguing that we can join him in endorsing same-sex mockmarriage and still oppose abortion.

That’s very comforting, isn’t it?

Up and down the line, the “leaders” of what is still called the conservative movement are throwing down their shields and running away from the battle, leaving us nobodies to soldier on without them. Their position is that we can freely debase and devalue marriage and the family however we please, and our civilization will never be the worse for it.

I don’t know how many times I have to say this before the Goldbergs and the Portmans and the Coulters will be able to understand it, but here goes:

If you won’t conserve marriage and the family as the basic building-blocks of human society, you won’t be able to conserve anything of value at all. “Sexual liberty” will gobble up all our other liberties. If you think free speech or freedom of religion can survive the redefinition of marriage, you’re bigger fools than I take you for.

Marriage is a serious matter. Holy matrimony between a man and a woman is a type of Christ’s relationship with His Church. Have none of these fools read the Book of Revelation?

God ordained marriage, God defines marriage, and it is not in the power of a bunch of black-robed sinners, in love with their own sophomoric cleverness, to redefine it. I don’t care what any court says. I don’t care what any mob of politicians, academics, jive conservative commentators, or teachers union says to the contrary–and you shouldn’t, either.

I am awfully tired of my country being run by immoralists, liars, thieves, orcs, and morons. Aren’t you?

I Has eated Brane Chips!!! REPRINT

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From  March 8, 2019

I was so exited Wen i herd abuot “a” Sceyentits” he is Inventting Brane Chips thay willl maike yiu Smart!!! and i was even moar exited wen i mett “this” gye hear at Collidge he “is” maiking Brane Chips tooo!!! and then he telled me he “was” looking fore Somboddy “to” trye themb out!!!!

“Wel i wuld be hapy to try it i sayed”! But he sayed i wuld has to Pay for it Lotts of mony,, yiu “got to Pay” “One Hunderd $1 dollers!” Of corse becose of Captilism i hasnt got no Hunderd Dollers so he sayed wel “alrihght, jist give me” “alll yore mony then!” so i gived himb the Two Dollers $$ “that it is Not reely enuohgh he sayed “yiu got to give me Somthing “else” and he sayed i culd taik a cupple Tests “four” himb becose he didnt Feel “lyke” taiking them his self and then he gived me A “bole” of Brane Chips!!! Thay tasted jist “lyke” Coarn Flaikes! and aslo thay looked lyke Coarn Flaikes tooo and i sayed “Are yiu Shure theese are Reel Brane Chips and not jist Coarn Flaikes??”” and “wen Do i stort getting Smarter'”?? and he sayed See “yiu” are geting Smarter all reddy!!”

Wel woodnt yiu Know “it”! i taiked themb Tests thay was jeeograffy or Som thing and aslo Introseckshanul Lego Studdys,,, i didnt Know nothing abote themb sujbecks And yeti Ased themb annyweiy!!!!! that was reely Som thing becose thay are “alll” Egstra Smart Stodints in themb classses and Al Of themb Thay al got Ays!!! That jeeogriffey Test itt was reely Hard expeshelly that One Queschin “”Ware is North Amarica in reelashin to Sowth Amarica???–and i didnt even Know i knowed that!!! i dont rembember waht i ansered but It must of bin Rihght!!

As sune as i “can” Get moar Mony i whil by Annether Bole of Brane Chips and maby i can past my neckst Gender Studdys Test!!!!

I love Nothing Studdies!! REPRINT

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[Editor’s Note: Now I can’t post a picture. I could post a picture ten minutes ago. Now I can’t. If you don’t hear from me any more, it means my head has exploded.]

From April 5, 2019

I amb so hapy i swiched my majer “to” Nothing Studdies it is grate!! and one of the Profesters he sayed the cool “thing abote Nothing Studdies is yiu woont nevver get no job so yiu Wil has to stay in Collidge four the “Rest” Of yore life”!! Wel that Is grate becose Work it blows and whoo whants Some stopid job anyhow?? it is mutch moare Impotant to maike Socile Jutstus than Work!!

To day in “class” frist we played whith Play Doe and then we roled “on” The flore and then we seen “a” Car Toon and then we hadded a De-bait whoo wood win In “a” fyhght beatwean Spyder Man and Acqua Man and we lernt Nothing at all!

I know wat al yiu Racist Biggits out thare yiu “aregoingto” say,, that “Joe Collidge he is a toetle waist of Spaice”! Wel you willl al be Laffing out “the” Other Syde of yore Faice when all us Interllecturals we come “out” and voat for Beato or Alexander Whatsername or (I hoap!!!!!) HILLARY!! and thay get to Be Pressadint,, yiu whil not think “That” is So Funny!!! Ha-Ha-Ha on yiu!

And now i has got to Go Studdy so i whil be Reddy for the Prestilential Electoin in Octoeber or wenevver it Is.

[Great–it lets me post that stupid picture of the eyes…]

 

Thare’s no Sutch Plaice As Frantz!! REPRINT

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From October 13, 2017

Back in hi skool i useter be reel good “at” joggraffy so yiu Can gess how i feeled “to-day” when A gesst lecksurer she tolled us “evrything” I lernt It Was “all” wrongg!!!

Take frinstants the contry “of” Frantz, the Frentch frys thay come from thare and as yiu “Can” sea form the mapp it is a eyland or somthing and It “is” boarderd by Tonga, Packastan, and Myopia! And than i lernt to-day that thare is No Sutch plaice as Frantz it is alll A big fat hokes!!!! and thare never “Was” no contry caled Frantz neether and it “is” al fake and the Rushins thay done it!!!

Yiu sea It was “a” Conspearassy thay made us beleave In Frantz so thay culd cheet Hillary “Out Of” being pressadint and aslo make al That Incomb Innaqualitty!! and aslo it tterns out Thare Are lotts of othor plaices thay isnt reel neether,, like Spane and Porchagul and Asia and Grease and aslo Izreel thay Are all fake Fake FAKE!!! Jist like that thare Moon landing!! it was Donold Trumpt and the Russhins and “the Bangkers” thay done it!!! So thay culd Cover Up Globble Warming and aslo Trans Phobier!!

Wel thay wil al Be laffing out The other “side of thare mouths wen the Socile Jutstus Wirers and Auntyfa thay come And get themm!! O wil thay “be”” sari then!!