Mr. Spock He ‘Is’ Reel!!!!

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We hadded a fastenating lexture Lassed Nihght it was awl abuot how Starr Treck thay are awll Reel!!! but Donold Trumpt he maided peple “thinck” thay wasnt reel jist so’s “he” cood maik people Not be Hapy!!!!!

I bet yiu has heered that Mr. Spock “he” “Was” reely somb ackter naimed Lennerd Kneemoy,, whatt “A” big fatt Lye!!!!!!!! I bet you heered thay wasnt reel Poynty Eers on himb!!!! The thing Is,, themb Repubickins thay doughnt “wahhnt” no boddy to bee Hapy axsep themb!!!!!!!!!!

Our lexture gye he wood knot Give “his Naim” becose then Racists thay wood Ass-ass-onate himb!!!! But he sayed Starr Treck “it” Is “alll” Reel and thare reely is Starr Schips and Cling-ons and Skotty and Captin Kurk whoo hased bin Pretending he “is” a Ackter naimed Wilbum Shattner!!! Thay “Are” alll Up Thare flyin Arowned but the guvvermint thay whil Killl yiu becuase It “is awl” Topps Seckrit!!!!!!!

The lexture gye he sayed I know “Starr” Treck” “it is reel!! Becose I SEEN Mr. SPOCK and hee done The Vulkin Mined Melled on me to re-stoar My Sannaty!!!””” Witch like toatully Prooves it!!!!!

We Nead Ownly Grean Ennorgy!!!

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Heer at Collidge we has “bin” camppaining To get ridd “Of” Fostle Fuools!!! Becose “thay” Are de-stroyhing “the” Plannit!!!!! So we “of The” Stoodint Soviet we voated to Proatest at awl “the” Gass Stasions in taown Until thay cloased themb!!@!!!

Butt imadjen “Our” sapprize wen this hear Gas Stacion thay all-reddy wented Green!!!! Green Gassaleen!! And maid fromb Dynosoars tooo!!!!!

The oaner he camed “to” The kampis to eggsplane waht “he” Done!!!! One {1} That thare dynosoar sine It All-reddy was Green!!! Yiu can sea fromb “the” pixture!!!! Two {2} As sooon as he fownded Out watt we whanted he jist turnt arownd and Idennifyed as Green!!!!!!!!!! Like how cool is that??? Threee {{3} He aslo didded “a” Reel Smarrt thing he got his “ghas” Ree-Classafide as Grean Ennerjee!!!!!

He sayed “it is jist” lyke Trans-zitchining yore Ginder!!!!

Whell! We shure Cant “shut” himb daown nhow!!!! He “is” Enviermentally Hipp!!!

Shaddoes ‘Thay’ Are Racist!!!!

What are shadow accounting systems, and should you have one?

This moaning I hadded to “go to” Chareman Mousey Dung Hall to get my Privlidge czecked “and” i runned Into this hear Gye he was Reely Skared!!!!! and he hadded a Ragg and was “try-ing” to wype his Shaddoe off “The” wall!!!!!

He eggsplaned it to me,, “I am “try-ing” to Get ridd Of my Shaddoe and i jist Cant wype it Aweigh”!”!” He jist kepp wyping and wyping And wyping but he coodnt maik “it” Go Aweiy!!!

Natchruly I assked himb wye “he” “was” dooing that and he sayed it’s “becose my Shaddoe it is Racist!!!! I lernt that in a lexture!!! Awl Shaddoes thay “are” racist”!!””

Whell nhow haow cood “that” bee?? I meen, lyke, evry boddy’s Shaddoe thay “Are” awl Black,, rite????? “Yiu must of herd It rong” I sayed,, “yore shaddoe It Is Black and black, it cant be Racist!!!!” Butt he sayed “Shaddoes thay “are” ownly Pre-tenting to be Black!!! It is A “Trick!” So’s we cant Sea themb wen its Darrk!! Thats wen thay go owt and Do thare Racist stuph!!”

I nevver thinked of that befour!!!! And thare was My Shaddoe standin rite neckst To his!!!! And nhow that I thinked of it,, i nevver did sea My Shaddoe wen it was nyte tyme!!”! So of coarse I assked himb, “Has yiu got anether Ragg?? We got to wype ouwt my Shaddoe tooo!””!!

We tryed and tryed butt “we Jist” coodnt doo it!!!!!!!!!!

Shaddoes thay Are Prooof that awl wyte peeple thay are Racists!!!!!!

Waht “to’ Do Affter Collidge???

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We hadded “a” amayzing Lexture tooday it “was” Saposed to Be “waht do yiu Do “affter” yiu finnish whith Collidge”,, whel wow that “Is A” scairy thawt!!!!!!! We wer alll Scaired of wahtt she was Goingto Say!!!

Butt “it” terned Ouwt “tobe” A bigg Sapprize!!!!! Becawse ghess Wat???

Thare is no “Affter Collidge!”!”!”

Hear i whas worry-ying abuot wen I finnish and Get “my” deegree “in” Nothing Studies, like, then watt Do i Doo?????? Well thats Simpple!!! Yiu “staye” In Collidge and keeep On studdying untill yiu Get yur Massters!!! That taiks like Ten (1’0) yeers! And then yiu Staye in Collidge amether fifthteen (1’5) or Sixthteen yeers (1’6) untill yiu Get The Bigg One, yore PhuD!!!!!!!!!! Then yiu canbe a Prefesser and staye In Collidge sumb moar, at leest Untill yiu re-tyre and Get a “grate” bigg Pention so yiu “can Go” On croozes and stuph!@!!!!!

So, sea, thare “is” Nothing “to” whorry abuot!!!! Yiu jist stayh in Collidge and yiu nevver leeve!!!!! Yiu jist keep Getting Smarter “and” Smarter lyke I doo!!!!!!

‘Ton Ey Curtus’s Hand!!’ (2017)

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See? It is Ether “his” rihght Hand oar his Lefft Hand witch is mising, Alfrid Hich-coke Cut “it” offf whith a soard!!!!

Robbie the cat is lying on top of my notes and I haven’t got the heart to move her. This vintage “Joe Collidge” piece is the only title peeking out from under the cat.

Well, we can always use a good laugh. It’s a gift from God.

Ton ey Curtus’s Hand!!

And now the cat gets up and walks away!

Happy Sunday, everybody.

 

We Has Lotts of Ginders!!!!

Gender chaos leads to societal chaos - Yellowhammer News

[Editor’s Note: Yipes! I got so caught up in my book today, I completely lost track of the time and now I’m late. Almost forgot this week’s Joe Collidge. Don’t everybody howl forlornly at once.]

Whel, whoo cairs about that stopid guy And “his” stopid boock??? Heer at Collidge we got “moar” impotent things To Thinck abote!!!!

We jist fowned Out “fromb” Harverd and that is a Big Fantsy Unavoracity that nhow yiu “can has” A diffrint Gender evry Day!!!!! How grate “is” thatt??? And iff enyboddy Elsse thay get yore Pro-nown wrawng thay “are” “In” Big Trubble!!!!!!

I taiked alll themb Moth Hoarmoan shot to Tern me Into “a” wimmin and nhow It terns out I awlreddy Amb! a wimmin jist becose I saye so!!!!! In facked Harverd thay say yiu can Be “moar” Than one ginder at “the” Saimb Tyme!!!!!! Eevin gender thatt thay got “nl” naims foar Yet!!!

So i amb a “man” And aslo “a” wimmin and aslo sumb-thing Elsse!!!! Mayby i shood caul My Selff “a Schwoomin” oar “a Mumman!”!” And aslo mayby i better Stay Aweiyh fromb wautter or i mite Get pregganint!!!!! And iff yiu eet Rice Chex yiu mite “start” monstrewaiting!!!!! Is that Coool or watt???

This heer it “is” jist so Grate!!!!! Nhow we can Maik Up niew Pro-Nowns that no boddy thay evver herd Of “beafoar” and get themb punnished for Miss Gindering!!!! Didd yiu know “that” Miss Gindering it cain axully kill A Trans Person dedd??!! Thats watt thay say At Harverd!!! so it mussed be triu!!

Sow nhow i amb goingto Fyned Out “moar” Genders i can be,, thare Mussed “be” hunderds of themb Out Thare!!!!!!!!

We Has Maskses Agen!!!!

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Heer at Collidge we has a barand-noo Mask Man-Date!!

And waht do yiu Know,, its “all-moast” Hallaweeen but furst we “has” to cellarbrate Laber Day witch is To-marrow but thenn “it is” Hallaweeen and I has fowned this hear Fanntatstick Which Mask i can ware!!!! So i “can” Obay the Mask Man-Date and do Hallerweeen “at” The Saim Tyme!!!!! Haow grate “is” That???

As yiu Can sea fromb “The” pixture this hear it is “A” reely Scairy Which Mask,, the ownly Thing rong whith it,, wen I putt “it On” it soart Of squisshes my Moth Antenners and it maikes themb Ichy!!!!! and i doughnt whant to be Scrachin awl the tyme im Tricke Oar Treeting!!!!!!

All-reddy heer “at” Collidge a lott “of” us wee “are” wharing Hallerine Masks. It is nhow So Scairy arowne heer,, yiu jist whant To hyde al “the” day lawng, the furst stoodint whoo seen My Mask, he stratted Crying and he hadded to go into Cownsalling!!! Fourchunitly we has plennty “Of” Play-Doh so he has clamed down bye Nhow!!!! Heckk i gotted Scairded tooo wen i lookt Into “the” Meerrer!!!!!!!!!

And nhow Jobydin he “tells” us the Scairy Masks thay whil scair The Jerms tooo! No moar COVE-ID on our Kampis!!!!!!!

‘Solving the Riddles of Ancient History: A Whole New Approach’ (2017)

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I haven’t been the same since I read the remarks of a certain college professor, who said students could acquire deep insights into history without having to learn any facts of history.

And here I thought Professor I.B. Loony was just a satirical buffoon.

Solving the Riddles of Ancient History: A Whole New Approach

I do remember, back in the 1990s (or was it the 80s?), an academic fad for “intuiting” things–that is, not bothering to research a subject, but just making it all up as one went along. I knew professors who actually spoke of “intuiting” as a substitute for factual knowledge.

Our culture rot has deep roots.

My Newswithviews Column, June 24 (‘Mocking the Left’)

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They exalt themselves as The Smartest People In The World.

But they’re really idiots.

Mocking the Left

Forget trying to be “winsome.” These people are the servants of evil. If you take away their awesome power to murder millions of victims, all that’s left is pompous, silly, funny stuff. It deserves to be laughed at.

Sit there just listening, and you’ll wind up in a concentration camp.

Holy Cow–They Really Believe That?

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[Huff-puff! Newswithviews is done! One more blog post, type up a chapter of my new book… and I can crash.]

When I was in college, if I heard this once, I heard it ten thousand times–“Your generation is the best, the smartest, the most with-it generation ever! You are the hope of America!” Etc., etc.

I put this down to manipulation. This was how left-wing professors recruited useful idiots. You could cut the cynicism with a knife.

Professors are still stroking their students with this pap, but there’s a big difference between then and now.

Now they really believe it!

In his book, The Dumbest Generation, Mark Bauerlein cites a multitude of studies that find that professors have actually convinced themselves that their students are inherently wise. Although if that really were the case, why are the students sitting at their desks listening to the prof, when they should be up at the lectern and the profs at the desks, being taught by the students?

And some of them would think that was a good idea.

The fruits of the most costly education system in history are not only rotten, but also poisonous. It’s killing our country by inches.

I’m sure manipulation is still part of the picture, but it’s gone beyond that to pure idiocy.

Defund the universities. Now, before it’s too late.