Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving!

One of our household customs, on Thanksgiving Day, is to watch this gloriously silly movie while the turkey’s cooking in the oven–Godzilla vs. Megalon. The big robot is Godzilla’s tag-team partner against Megalon and Co. It had the rare ability to increase its size tenfold. Ain’t technology wonderful? “Ah! He programmed himself to do that,” says the robot’s inventor. It came as a surprise to him.

On Thanksgiving Day we set our cares aside and praise the Lord our God, who shoulders them Himself. We used to have these huge family dinners for Thanksgiving, but everyone has either died or moved quite far away. We give God thanks for all those memories.

I’ll be here on this blog tomorrow. I hope most of you can find a few minutes to drop in and share this holiday with us.

Complete with monster movie.

Culture Rot, Vintage 2016

Giant Anteater - The Houston Zoo

No, I won’t provide a picture of this travesty. Here’s a nice ant-eater instead.

The doddering, out-to-lunch New York Times thought this clunker might’ve been the very best movie of the year. Well, they would, wouldn’t they?

‘The Year’s Best Movie’–Really?

Wow! The movie celebrates homosexuals! No wonder they gave it an award! They even tossed in more Far Left cliches than you can shake a stick at. Pitched to the Public Radio crowd, I guess.

Study the cultural spasms of just a few years ago, and they’ll lead you straight to the vileness that we see today.

What? No Far Left Cliches?

Wraith (2017) - Photo Gallery - IMDb

So we’re watching this horror movie, my sister recommended it, and any minute I’m expecting the film to pelt us with the usual Hollywood Far Left cliches. The mother or father or both are cheating on each other. The teenage daughter is pregnant. The old priest is… well, something really nasty.

None of these materialized! You could’ve knocked me over with a feather. Plus the movie offered a few genuine chills… without drenching the screen in gore.

Written and directed by Michael O. Sajbel, Wraith (2017) is a solid haunted house movie–and I dare not say anything to spoil the ending. It manages to avoid everything I don’t like in horror movies, and I’m pretty broad-minded. This one never crosses the line into stupid.

Plus it’s got veteran horror/sci-fi actor Lance Henriksen as the blind priest who sees more clearly than anybody else in the story, and his is a spectacular performance. This from the guy who was a humanoid robot torn in half in Aliens.

Wraith was well worth the time we put into watching it: recommended with a smile.

Mad Dentist Bites Alligator!

Favorite Films: Carnival of Souls | tarnmoor

Please pardon the lurid headline. I couldn’t resist it.

Thursday was bad and Friday was worse–one damn thing after another, all day long. By suppertime Patty and I were blitzed.

We need to relax this weekend; and a thing we both find relaxing is old-fashioned black-and-white horror movies. Patty nominated Carnival of Souls. And y’know what? That movie’s just the ticket. The set alone–a deserted boardwalk/carnival out in the middle of nowhere–is worth your time. I wonder what it would really be like to walk there, all alone.  Ooooh! Scary, boys and girls!

Again I’ve reached the point where the nooze starts to look like it’s all the same story, and not one that you’d want to hear. Work hard, pray harder, sing louder. It’ll take God’s grace to get us out of this. I won’t ease up on the prayers until I see a lot of prominent Democrats taking off for countries with which we don’t have extradition treaties.

Hello out there! What are some of your favorite fright flicks? Maybe we’ll watch one of them.

 

 

‘Snow White and… Who?’

Fun Ideas for Snow • Pickle Planet Moncton

I’m trying hard to keep nooze off this blog today, although it does seem to be costing me readership. Haven’t clicked on to a single news site this morning.

This afternoon we’re going to watch a movie. Patty has selected one for us. It sounds like it might be something along the lines of Snow White Meets Jurassic Park–and probably you don’t want to be in it if you’re one of the Seven Dwarfs. Sam Neill is in it, though. He attracts dinosaurs.

The picture above indicates that the Dwarfs take shelter in a big plastic box full of cotton, and hide there until the Velociraptors are gone. I’ll bet Snow White winds up taming them! Anyway, I’m always up for dinosaurs. I hope they have a Dryptosaurus.

If you as a reader strongly object to my backing off the nooze on weekends, I guess you’d better let me know. It was Byron the Quokka’s idea, by the way. For once I’ve listened to him.

A Movie I Would Like to See [Byron Takes Over]

(Byron the Quokka has been appointed Interim Manager–he prefers the term “quaestor”–of this blog. Please address all complaints to him.)

What was the Indus Valley Civilization? | Live Science

There’s a movie I’d just love to see, but I don’t know that it exists. In fact, its kind might not exist. There might be no movie like this.

Okay, it’s a lost city movie. Ah–but what do all “lost city” movies and TV shows have in common? They’re all inhabited. Like in that Wagon Train episode in which they find a lost city of the Aztecs–full of Aztecs.

But in this probably nonexistent lost city movie, the city is uninhabited. Nobody home. Protagonists discover it, go in for a look around. No sign of anybody… ever. Past or present.

Aha! But the city isn’t totally uninhabited. You might even say the city is haunted. Ghosts? Well, let’s just say “entities that you’re better off not encountering.” Turns out there’s a reason why this city is lost; and it should stay that way.

Gee, I’d like to see that movie.

[Quaestor’s Note: Watch, he’s gonna blame me that there’s no lost city movie with ghosts in it! Dude, I’m supposed to be trying to rebuild your viewer numbers! And I haven’t posted my TV listings yet, either. *sigh* Well, Grandpa always said whenever they give you a promotion or a raise, they up your workload.]

1,040 Quokka Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images ...

 

‘Jurassic World: Dominion’… Three Cheers!

30+ Jurassic World: Dominion HD Wallpapers and Backgrounds

Well, we love this movie! Really, all you have to do is provide a lot of realistic dinosaurs, and not go overboard with the human characters, and you’re home free. Dominion does all that and a bit more. I’m already looking forward to the next one! (Dinosaurs break loose, descend on Davos, gobble up the self-anointed elites right down to the last Rolex…)

Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum are back in their original roles–and I do enjoy listening to Ian Malcolm (Goldblum) philosophize. In between chase scenes, he has the best lines in the script. I admit they probably could have done with shorter or fewer chase scenes. Or else let the dinos catch up to famous liberals and eat them. Stand up and cheer: like when the T. rex devours the sleazy lawyer in the first movie.

The theme of the story is the same Jurassic Park theme that’s been up there for us all long: scientific hubris kills. This time out we have a Big Science screw-up that threatens to wipe out human life altogether. Gee… does that sound kind of familiar? The difference between the movie and real life is that in the movie it’s Big Tech that’s going to make us extinct, and in real life it’s “gain of function” research perpetrated by Big Government. Although there’s so much overlap between the two, the distinction may not be as important as I thought.

There are a great many “quotes” from other dinosaur movies; which, if you are into dinosaur movies (like I am!), you’ll have a lot of fun spotting. Movies like The Valley of Gwangi, The Land Unknown, the original Jurassic Park, King Kong–see how many you can spot.

So many dinosaur discoveries are being made today that it’s difficult to keep up. I recognized most of the dinosaurs in Dominion, but not all of then. Every now and then I had a “What the hell was that?” moment. But that’s a small criticism.

You knew I’d dig this movie, didn’t you?

What We’re Gonna Do This Afternoon

T Rex Dinosaur, Downton City Street Stock Illustration - Illustration of  danger, downtown: 64131823

Time for some fun! We had to buy it, they weren’t offering rentals–but gee wiz, we’ve worked hard! We deserve a treat.

We’re going to watch Jurassic World: Dominion. We love all the Jurassic Park movies. We are told there are giant locusts in it. I love giant locusts! What movie would not be even better with giant locusts in it? Would’ve pepped up The Third Man a bit. I might’ve watched The Sound of Music if it had had giant locusts in it.

I read two reviews. The guy who hated this movie really hated it. He is probably a jurassophobe. (Colleges, take note: here’s a whole new Bad Person category for you.) The woman who liked it really liked it.

I suppose we could watch some Great Work Of Cinematic Art, intended to impart to us a respectably gloomy view of life. But we’ve got the nooze for that, don’t we? There is a Giganotosaurus in Dominion. We wish a few would show up at the World Economic Forum. They need a Triceratops scattering their chairs to Kingdom Come.

Tune in tomorrow to see how we liked the movie.

 

Some of My Favorite Films

ALASTAIR SIM SCROOGE (1951 Stock Photo - Alamy

Our friend Mike has asked me to name the movies that I really like. Fair enough–although I have so many favorites, I couldn’t possibly name them all. So I’ll just trot out a few that would always be on the list regardless.

Scrooge. This is the 1951 “Christmas Carol” starring Alistair Sim. We make sure to watch it every Christmas. Nothing beats Alistair Sim’s performance.

Gunga Din. You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever. We might call this movie a celebration of male silliness–only it’s so much fun! I don’t know whether to call this “ham acting” or histrionic brilliance. Either way it works for me.

Jurassic Park. I can’t help it, I’m a lifelong dinosaur freak. But what I love even more about this movie is the way it totally shreds the whole idea that Science Is Always Right And We’re In Control And What Could Possibly Go Wrong!

Never Let Go. (1960) Peter Sellers takes a break from comedy to be a villain–and turns in a great performance. Richard Todd is the poor underdog who has to go up against a ruthless criminal. No kidding, it’s up there with The Iliad.

Treasure Island. The 1934 version, with Wallace Beery and Jackie Cooper and a fantastic supporting cast. Another one of my absolutely all-time favorites–starting with the titles (“Sixteen men on a dead man’s chest, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum”)! If this movie can’t crank you over, better see if you can still fog a mirror.

Jason and the Argonauts. Glorious musical score by Bernard Herrmann, and some of the best-ever special effects by Ray Harryhausen. See the colossal statue of Talos come to life! Fight off an platoon of animated skeletons! It just doesn’t get better than this.

The Uninvited. Understated film in black and white, widely regarded as one of the best ghost stories ever filmed. Starring Ray Milland and Cornelia Otis Skinner. No sex, no gore, no cussin’, no computer-generated razzle-dazzle… but really, truly creepy! Its reputation is well-earned.

That’s seven of my favorites. I could do this all day, but can’t spare the time.

Yo! out there! I’d very much enjoy seeing your list of favorites.

What’s Wrong With Our Movies?

21 Best Kids Movies 2020 - New Kids Films Coming Out to the Theater in 2020

Patty and I watch a lot of movies, and we own a pretty big collection of them, too.

Lately we’ve been watching–or trying to watch–some new movies, and have been coming away disappointed. Or irate over the wasted time.

There’s a widespread failing here: the plot, what there is of it, completely falls apart as the movie nears its end. They’ve got all these writers and they can’t finish the story. Suspense mounts–and then melts down because nothing much happens. Or what does happen is so preposterous, the viewer can’t believe in it.

I believe there’s a simple explanation as to why so many movies today are so crappy.

If you never read or hear a story, you won’t know how to tell one.

Who’s readin’ anymore? The people who become screenwriters? And in the unlikely event they’re reading anything at all, what are they reading–comic books? The backs of cereal boxes?

I am a storyteller. I write novels and get paid for it. How do I do it? I consume as many stories as I can! I learn how to tell stories by studying stories. Do this, but don’t do that. Do you see how Edgar Rice Burroughs or Charles Dickens juggle their subplots without ever dropping one? Do you see how John Blaine paints a picture while never forgetting to keep the plot moving?

But who’s reading anymore? Who’s learning how to tell a story? It’s getting so we simply won’t even try a movie made after 2000. We know the wheels are going to fall off the plot. We know there are going to be gaping holes left in the story… because nobody knows how to tell a story anymore.

True, even in contemporary movies, even in TV, I encounter a story that leaves me lost in admiration. An episode of Endeavour called “Deguello” had me convinced the writers were going to drop the ball, they’ll never bring all these story lines together–and yet they did it! Without padding, without leaving things out, without inventing ridiculous coincidences–wow!

But examples like this are getting to be few and far between.