G’day, all! Byron the Quokka here with another weekend of spectacular television brought to you by Quokka University. Just don’t ask us where these programs came from! It’s a state secret.
Here are a few examples. Happy viewing!
8 P.M. Ch. 04 CELEBRITY PHILOSOPHY–Drivel
Join host Mickey Rivers as he grills celebrity guests on the great questions of life! If I’m not me, then why do I look like me? Do bookcases know they’re bookcases? Is free will compatible with high fashion? Panel: Phil Silvers, Paul Lynde, Charo, Zsa Zsa Gabor. Featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger and his orchestra.
Ch. 08 HILLBILLY SKIN DIVERS–Drama/Geography
Grampa Hooty (Emmanuel Kant) continues his search for the Lost Appalachian Ocean, only to learn that those pesky Hatfields and McCoys have stolen his aqualung. Possum Hatfield: Jacques Cousteau. Grannie Bogoljubov: Vanna White. With stock footage from Col. John D. Craig.
8:06 P.M. Ch. 22 YAN CAN’T COOK–Exotic Cookery
Chef LeRoy “Frenchy” Yan tries his hand at Lake Victoria gnat pie, but all the gnats escape into his kitchen. The mossbunker cakes don’t turn out so well, either. Special Guest: the woman from the local board of health.
8:30 P.M. Ch. 18 CRIMINAL COPS–Police Drama
Lake Apocalypse Police Chief Bruce Loose (John Candy) encourages his officers to rob the 7-11 before the local criminals can get around to it. “Eventually they’ll go straight because everyplace has already been robbed,” the reasoning goes. Deputy LaFong: John Cassavetes. Joey the Clam: Richard Burton.
Ch. 31 MOVIE–Science Fiction/Melodrama
In “I Cover the Beehives” (1958), rogue entomologist Jane Payne (Greta Garbo) tries to romance reclusive philanthropist Zane Grayne (Ray Milland) by cross-breeding killer bees with grizzly bears–with predictable results! Song: “I’ve Got Zits”
And there you have it, boys and girls! We have discovered that no less a personage than Frankie Poppadoppoulos tunes in here every weekend. Who would’ve thought it?
Pyrrhus, King of Epirus: “Another such victory and I am undone!”
In the Book of Judges, Chapter 8, Abimelech, illegitimate son of Gideon, proclaimed himself king of Israel and went about conquering cities. During street fighting in the town of Thebaz, a woman brained him with a piece of a millstone and that was the end of him.
Fast-forward several centuries and hundreds of miles to the west: Pyrrhus, King of Epirus, invaded Italy and there won “pyrrhic victories” (a victory so costly as to be as bad as a defeat) and was finally driven off by the Romans. Returning home to the Balkans, he attempted to conquer Greece. And exactly the same thing happened to him as happened to Abimelech.During a street fight in Argos, a woman on the roof brained Pyrrhus with a piece of a millstone, ending his career in 272 B.C.
How does this happen? Did Greek and Roman historians take that story from the Bible and apply it to Pyrrhus? Or did this remarkable coincidence actually occur? Was the Bible better known throughout the ancient world than we’ve suspected?
The question has to be, Is this what really happened to Pyrrhus? If not, then we simply don’t know how he died. And for a man as famous as Pyrrhus, it’s very hard to imagine how that could be. There were any number of historians writing about Pyrrhus during his lifetime and shortly afterward–but none of them offers a different story of his death.
God passed judgment on both these tyrants, Abimelech and Pyrrhus; and it was the same judgment for each. There is no evidence to suggest otherwise.
Well, here we are again, letting wokies walk all over us and shove their America-hating garbage culture down our throats. Why do we let them do it?
As of the end of this baseball season (and who’s paying attention to it?), there will be no more Cleveland Indians. They will be renamed “the Guardians.” As in Manchester Guardian, a far-left noozepaper.
And now it’s catching on all throughout professional sports. Eager to outdo Cleveland, the Cincinnati Reds will be renamed the Cincinnati Birthing Units. It was going to be Cincinnati Parents, but a commissar rejected that as “not inclusive enough.”
Said club president Roscoe Ringworm, “The American people are only a nation of toddlers at best. They need us to take care of them–and that’s what Birthing Units do.”
Not to be outdone by teams in Ohio, the San Francisco Giants have announced plans to change their name to the San Francisco Things. The Giants’ All-Star utility infielder, Greg Pfart, explained, “‘Things’ can mean anything! It doesn’t get more inclusive than that!”
Ah–but it does, according to the team long known as the New York Yankees but about to be renamed “the Nothings.” Said General Manager Ike Schmendrick, “The word ‘Nothing,’ by excluding everything, automatically includes everything!” Mr. Schmendrick went to college once and never got over it.
Do you ever get the impression that Far Left Crazy just wants everyone to disappear?
Sorry, running late today… so let’s get the hymn contest started.
Today’s first entry, requested by Erlene–I Saw the Lord, by Dallas Holm.
The contest only runs till August 8, the prizes are fantastic, it’s open to all–so why aren’t more of you entering? If you’re worried about the $2,000 entrance fee, well, let’s just get rid of it… There, it’s gone.
I’m back! Meanwhile, I hope some of you will browse the archives and tell me some posts you really liked, from years ago. Maybe I can re-post them.
Down to business: I don’t think I’ve ever known an animal that would eat a lemon. A camel, maybe? The bunny in this video has never had a lemon, but that first taste is all he needs. Maybe he’s eccentric.
I just don’t seem to have it today. WordPress tells me I’ve posted for 2,572 days in a row, my wife insists I rest, I’ve done no work on The Witch Box today, and my brain wants me to put it into a pail of cool water and leave it alone for a while.
So I guess I’d better take the rest of the afternoon off. Maybe I overdid it yesterday.
If you’re new here, or even if you’re not, I invite you to browse the blog archives to your hearts’ content. They’re probably full of cool stuff I’ve forgotten all about. Go for videos of boat launch fails: I always find those refreshing.
I hope to return this evening with a critter video.