New Jersey has quite a population of bears for a small crowded state. The mild winters (usually) are a factor.
Murdering Fantasy REPRINT
From April 27, 2016
Y’know, I’m beginning to think ill of publicists. They’ll take anybody’s money.
Today a publicist invited me to read a great new fantasy novel “about a female warrior with a kind heart.” When the Sarmatians went culturally extinct almost 2,000 years ago, that was the end of the only nation that actually produced female warriors on purpose. Look it up in Herodotus if you don’t believe me.
Since then, The Invincible Female Warrior has become the most commonplace–and the most annoying–cliche in half-baked fantasy literature. Along with crusty but benign old wizards and know-it-all elves: but really, Ms. Gorgeous with the unbeatable kung-fu moves is the worst of them all–except for maybe little kids with fantastic martial arts skills that enable them to wipe out full-grown male villains.
The book seems to be self-published. This is what gets me about self-publishing: no quality control. The publicist ought to be ashamed for taking this author’s money and trying to hoodwink people like me into reviewing it. I won’t give the author’s name because it just wouldn’t be humane. By the way, though, she wants a pretty hefty chunk of money for this book.
If you are an aspiring writer, this author commits a literary stumble that I’ve told you about before ( http://leeduigon.com/2015/10/21/a-silly-name-can-ruin-your-fantasy-novel/ ).
Do not name the principle characters in your story after familiar household products. Trust me, it doesn’t work. Here we have an Invincible Female Warrior named “Aleave.” Does that at all bring to mind the brand name of a popular headache medicine?
If you conscientiously avoid all the cliches that make fantasy so prone to low expectations on the readers’ part, and write a great story populated by memorable characters, and yet succumb to the temptation to give those characters names like Drano, Tylenol, Pennzoil, or Fancy Feast–well, you might as well not have written it at all.
Five Ferrets and a Cat
What Happened to Childhood? REPRINT
From June 19, 2013
Maybe it’s different where you live, but around here, we never see children playing outside. Never. Children of any age. No stickball, no softball, no basketball. No building castles in the sandbox. No play of any kind.
The only time you see them playing–if “playing” is the right word for it–is when they have full uniforms, sponsors, adult coaches, a scoreboard, and a mob of parents watching. If I had to trade my childhood for this, I’d hang myself.
The rest of the time, you don’t see them at all. Have they been packed off to summer school? Day camp or daycare? Or are they just confined to the house, either by their parents or by themselves, playing video games all day?
This state of affairs is unnatural, not to mention weird and creepy, and no good will come of it.
Meanwhile, I think I have found something that sheds light.
On my box of breakfast cereal, there’s a little mask that can be cut out and worn by a child. It comes with instructions. Get a load of this.
Step 1: With close adult supervision, cut along the dotted line…
What? “Close adult supervision”? To cut out a little piece of cardboard? How close?
Do you ever wonder if people are forgetting how to be human beings?
I sure do.
To Be a Pilgrim (He Who Would Valiant Be)
Boy, did it get hot!
Three days ago, I was still wearing my puffer coat. Had to have the heat on indoors, as it was really cold.
Today, right now, as we speak it is 87 degrees out there.
Needless to say, it feels more like 100.
New Jersey weather is always full of surprises, not all of them nice.
Every week Robert Knight (a columnist for the Washington Times, and a long-time friend of ours) sends me a copy of his weekly column. This week he was discussing the issue of Maryland and Virginia becoming one-party states because of the gerrymandering of districts. (Can you guess which party is behind that move)? Bet you can. You can check him out by just entering Robert Knight, Washington Times. He is really interesting and well worth a read.
Another piece of bad news. One of our House members is resigning because of sexual misconduct. Our margin is not so big that we can afford that.
Is there Viagra in the water in Washington? Have they confused it with fluoride?
I better quit now–the heat is making me grumpy.
God bless everybody.
Patty
Franklin, the 22 pound cat with an attitude problem
Unusual little dog finds a home
Doggone Couch Cover! REPRINT
From April 14, 2023
It’s getting so you can’t enjoy a nice roll on the couch without getting caught in something that some careless take-ya-for-granted human leaves lying around. And then they have the gall to laugh at you! Wait’ll the next time I have to pee, chuckles…