‘Holy, Holy, Holy’–with Bagpipes

I’m trying hard to provide you with a nooze-free weekend without losing my audience. Dare I say so far, so good?

This hymn, Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty, just popped into my head; and next thing I knew, I was wondering if I could find it performed on bagpipes. Had anybody ever done that?

Well, yes! And here it is.

Fun with Phantoms

Death Be Not Loud  by Jan Olandese

Death Be Not Loud: Ghosts Haunts & Tall Tales For Restless Nights:  Olandese, Jan: 9781521379561: Amazon.com: Books

It isn’t every day we get to review a book written by a frequent visitor to our humble blog. You might know Rev. Olandese from her blog, “Book ‘Em, Jan-O”–I just love that title, a takeoff on Jack Lord’s immortal line from Hawaii Five-O, “Book ’em, Dano.”

These are billed as “ghost stories,” but they’re much too original to be labeled. Ghosts are in or around the stories: but mostly what we get is clever, witty, off-the-wall story-telling. The book is easily available via amazon.com.

It says right there in our mission statement that a good laugh is a gift from God, a blessing that helps us keep our sanity in a fallen world whose Very Smartest People can’t find anything better to do than to denounce cartoon characters. Jan’s little book will give you a great many smiles and not a few laugh-out-loud moments. Patty read it first and fell in love with it. We’re both very happy to recommend it to you.

Warning: If you’re not a scary story fan, there are inside jokes and allusions and takeoffs in here that will probably elude you. But even then you’ll still have fun!

Byron’s TV Listings

CTVA - US TV Listings - 1961

G’Day! Byron the Quokka here, with Quokka University’s TV listings for the weekend. Are you craving something edifying, absorbing, rib-ticklingly hilarious, or butt-scratchingly suspenseful? Me, too. I wonder where you can get it. Meanwhile, there’s this:

4:30 P.M.  02  03  BAKED NEWS (News & Cooking)

Make mint toothpaste cookies with Violet Crepuscular while the world stumbles into one crisis after another. Reporter: Cy Anara  Weather: Angela Merkel

05  OPEN END WITH GORILLA MONSOON–PUBLIC AFFAIRS

Join pro wrestling legend Gorilla Monsoon as he interviews this weekend’s prominent news makers. Guests: Andre the Giant, S.D. “Special Delivery” Jones, “Nature Boy” Buddy Rodgers, Ohio Gov. John Kasich, and a newt.

4:48 P.M.  07  BEEN THERE, DONE THAT–TRAVEL

Harvey Yardarm visits Sayreville, New Jersey, and shows slides taken on the campus of Mr. Potato Head Community College.

5 P.M.  02  10  11  MOVIE–TRAGEDY/SUSPENSE

“One for the Money, Two for the Show” (1982)  The aging Bowery Boys are in for the scare of their lives when a Soviet spy (Mel Torme) hires the Chinese People’s Army to wipe them out. Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall.  General Hai: Oscar Levant.  General Lo: Walter Mondale. Music by F. Lee Baily and his orchestra.

12  13  NEURALGIA PATROL–POLICE

“I’m Sure It’s My Sciatica!”  The Health Complaint Squad finds Mr. and Mrs. Muldoon (Clint Eastwood, Linda Hunt) a confusing mix of symptoms, and Dr. Twinkly (Abe Vigoda) is dangerously close to blowing his stack. Special guest star: Carl Yastrzemski as “the Beaver.”

Well, that should be enough to get you started! And this is me high-tailing it out of here before somebody asks me where we got these shows.

Jump of the quokka! (OZ) | Quokka, Happy animals, Quokka animal

‘You Can’t Make Up This Stuff’ (2016)

See the source image

Maybe the judge never saw a war movie?

How stupid can stupid be?

Don’t ask! You might get blown up.

You Can’t Make Up This Stuff

How many times do you reckon a hand grenade has gone off inside a courtroom? And how many witnesses, do you suppose, would answer the question “How does it work?” by pulling the pin?

If snails were this stupid, they’d crawl backwards.

‘I Know That My Redeemer Liveth’

Having used up our hymn requests, I deciced to post the first hymn I found on Youtube; and this is what came up–a good old 18th-century hymn, I Know That My Redeemer Liveth, sung by a Mennonite choir.

This was what Job said when he was tried…

Babies Love Cats

I’ve had enough stupid nooze for one day–haven’t you? Let’s enjoy some of God’s stuff.

Want to give a baby some genuine jollies? Bring in a cat. No one’s better at making babies laugh. And looking at it from a cat’s point of view, what could be better than a cat-sized human?

Next on the Cancel Train: Pepe Le Pew

By Ken Levine: Pepe Le Pew

Oh, hell. I was going to save this for tomorrow; but maybe I wasn’t the only one who didn’t expect such a quick answer to “Who’s going to be the next target of Cancel Culture?”

It’s… Pepe Le Pew! (https://www.outkick.com/ny-times-which-once-said-pedophilia-not-a-crime-sets-sights-on-pepe-le-pew/)

*Sigh* Some schmendrick of a New York Times writer thinks the romantic silly skunk in the old Loony Tunes cartoons has been “normalizing rape culture”–actually, he acts kind of like Joe Biden–and he’s also Racist, somehow. “Racism must be exorcised from culture,” proclaims this NYT diddler.

The only fun liberals know how to have is spoiling other people’s fun.

Do you ever get the impression that they just want to cancel everything? Does anybody real actually want to live in their woke dystopia?

Let’s see how long this lasts.

Thay ‘Are’ Triying To Poysin Us!!!!

Kretschmer Original Toasted Wheat Germ ‑ Shop Oatmeal & Hot Cereal at H‑E‑B

We has maiked a trooly Frytining Diskcovary!!!!!

Wood yiu “beleave” “it”?”?? Thay has bin Puting Wheet Germs in our foood “in” “the” Caffateerier!!!!! and we hased Awl eated somb “of” It!!!!! Probbly we “are” goingto Get Sick and Dye!!!!!!!!!!

We has gott to fynde Out whoo done this!!! Probbly chrischin Wyte Souprembasists!!! Thay are awl Biggits “and” Hayters and whant To taik Ovar “the” Collidge and Stop anny Eddicasion fromb going-on!!!! and i bett we “Are” In This trubble becose we Nevver did maik a Hyumin Sackerfyce to Pressadint Obomma!!!!!!

I amb allreddy stratting To Feeel Sick!! I wunder waht kinda Germs thay putted In “the” Wheet!!!!! Bettcha it was CO-vid and Meezles and Hygrofobbier!!!!! Germs thay cawze Dazeez!!!!!!

So nhow wee Are awl ON “the” LookOut foar Simptimbs!!!! I herded abuot one gye he eated Wheet Germs “and” his Hedd it fawlled offf!!!!!!! and he coodnt Pute “it” back On,, neether!! Aslo thare whas annether gye he hased Wheet Germs and nhow he Can ownly Tawlk Backwerds!!!! We shooda jist keeped Eeting our Play-Doh!!!!!!!!!!

Welll, we “Are” whating foar Simptimbs so we Can “fynde Out” jist waht kinda Dazeez weer goingto Get and aslo we Mussed has a Infestagasion so we wil know whoo doned it,, and we will Get themb but Good “befoar” the Poysin it kills us!!!!!

A Snippet of Imaginary History

Head of a Roman Patrician (article) | Khan Academy

It’s 160 B.C., and the Roman Republic is the dominant power in the Mediterranean, governed by the Roman Senate and the Roman People’s Assembly.

But there has been friction between Rome and a power far inland–the United Scythians of Asia. We join the Senate with the debate in progress. Marcus Cato, Cato the Elder, is speaking.

“Senators, the United Scythians are ruled by a doddering dotard who can’t always remember to put his trousers on; and his newest government minister is this fat guy who paints his face and insists he is a woman. Their government is the laughing-stock of the civilized world! How long would it take us to conquer them? Fifteen minutes? Twenty? Or a whole day, if the weather’s bad? The only reason I can think of to send an army there would be if we felt sorry enough for those people to replace their government for them. And it wouldn’t have to be a big army, either!”

Happily, we know that no government like that would ever come into existence in the real world…

Canceling Dr. Suess

Vintage Revell Dr. Suess Zoo Norval the Bashful Blinket Mode Toy

Last week it was Mr. Potato Head. Whose turn is it this week, to be cancelled?

Dr. Suess!

I have discovered that the only fun that wokies and liberals know how to have is to spoil other people’s fun. Your unhappiness is the only thing that makes them happy.

See, back in the 1940s, a few of Dr. Suess’ books had “images” in them that reflected racial stereotypes widely accepted at the time. But you’re not allowed to be the 1940s! History begins with the revolution, comrades! Before that, nothing! For anyone to see these pictures would be… “hurtful.”

Some observers–Steve Turley and Mark Simone, just to name two I heard yesterday–seem to think the Cancel Culture will ultimately cancel itself out of existence. Talk about a thing that we can do without!

But moving on–what will they cancel for us next week? Gotta keep goin’ or you lose momentum! Gotta keep canceling, even when all that’s left to cancel is each other.

The sooner they get around to that, the better.

One could almost forgive them, if they found a way to cancel the Democrats…