A Puzzling Fact of Nature

Hi, everybody–Mr. Nature here, with today’s puzzling fact.

As you can see from the little video, the mother wolf spider carries her babies on her back; and if she knows how many there are, that’s more than I will ever know.

What you don’t see is this: if one of the babies should fall off while Mommy is on the move, she will stop and find that baby and put it back on her back. Please excuse the awkward sentence.

Now, how does she know that one of those innumerable baby spiders has fallen off her back? It’s not like any of the others can cry out, “Mommy! Willie fell off again!”

If there’s anybody out there who can explain this to us, we’re all ears.

Video Treat: Cats & Owls

The owl and the pussycat went to sea/ But first they knocked over the Christmas tree…

Owls and cats can become good friends. How long did it take for that to be discovered?

Prayer Request: Betty

Please, everybody, join in prayer for my friend, Betty, whose daughter Tammy had surgery today (so far, so good) but has some other medical problems that have complicated the picture.

Father in Heaven, please bless your servant, Betty, and deliver her daughter, Tammy, from danger. We thank you for bringing her through her surgery, and we know that all healing comes from you. We pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

A Nation of Suckers

Image result for images of dunces

According to a new Pew Research Center poll, 49% of Americans who have left church no longer believe in God, or in miracles ( http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/pew-huge-surge-in-americans-who-no-longer-believe-in-god-miracles/article/2600066 ).

Doesn’t that mean that 51% of those who have left church still do believe in God and miracles? But that ain’t the headline.

The Pew report says “‘science’ is the reason they do not believe religious teachings.” Like, once they clue you in to Evilution, you’re just too smart to believe in God anymore. “Rational thought makes religion go out the window,” say some of the poll respondents.

I wonder what these people mean by “rational thought.” Having given up belief in God, what do they believe in now? Space brothers? The good intentions of the Democrat Party? World government?

No, I think G.K. Chesterton was right: Once you stop believing in God, you don’t believe in nothing; you’ll believe in anything.

If Your Kids Are Going Back to Public School…

For those of you who insist on sending your children back to public school this year, at least give the kids a sporting chance. Give them a copy of The Great Escape, and time to view it more than once.

In this classic movie about POWs escaping from a German prison camp, children packed off to school will learn useful information about digging tunnels, staying on the lam without getting caught, tricking the guards, etc.

Or you could just let them stay in public school for 13 years or so and learn all about conformity, the gender spectrum, white privilege, and Global Warming–to say nothing of eccentric sexual techniques, atheism, and what unprogressive dopes their parents are. Then they’ll be ready for collidge.

‘Come, Holy Spirit’ (in English and Tagalog)

How often do we get a chance to hear a Christian hymn sung in Tagalog? English and Tagalog (a standardized form of Tagalog known as “Filipino”) are the two official languages of the Philippines.

We have in the Philippines many, many brothers and sisters in Christ. To celebrate our fellowship, here is a hymn sung in both languages, Come, Holy Spirit (I Need Thee.

Thanks to Erlene for the suggestion.

100% Guaranteed X-ray Glasses!

Image result for x-ray glasses

Remember these? “See through skin, see through clothes…!” They were one of many truly schlocky items advertised in the back pages of comic books.

Did you ever send away for any of those? My brother and I got these glasses once, and were greatly incensed when they turned out to be just these cardboard things that didn’t do anything at all, let alone see through anybody’s clothes.

I marvel that most of our government’s activities aren’t advertised in the back pages of 1950s comic books.

Sanity Break: Bush Baby

What–you thought that was Master Yoda, from Star Wars? Good heavens, no! Master Yoda’s just a know-it-all; this is a bush baby.

My wife has always wanted to cuddle a bush baby, but they seem to be in short supply around these parts.

Have We Hit Bottom Yet?

Image result for images of hyena retching

(I had to take my blood pressure before I wrote about this.)

There’s unedifying, then disgusting, revolting, appalling… and then there’s this.

Southside With You, threatening to come soon to a theater near you, is a movie about Barack and Michelle Obama’s first date and ensuing romance (ack! ugh! ia! Cthulhu fhthagn!), a film that “reimagines the first couple…” (http://ijr.com/2016/05/597917-a-movie-about-the-obamas-first-date-is-coming-to-theaters-soon-but-the-trailer-is-out-now/ )

Do you know what “reimagine” means? It means you’ve come up with enough lies to bury Asia. You “reimagine” this pair of–well, a man who never did a nickel’s worth of honest work in his life, and a woman with a hair-trigger temper–crikey, I can’t say it! I literally can’t repeat, or even paraphrase, the bilge that’s in the press release. Has anybody seen my barf bag?

So I guess they won’t be showing Michelle picking Barack up and tucking him under one arm as she strolls over to the stall where they sell the $5,000 sneakers, or show him playing golf while our people in Benghazi get murdered in the streets. They will stretch artistic license till it screams for mercy, depicting President *Batteries Not Included as having a brain and being able to talk without a teleprompter.

Are we truly grown so servile? These people rob us blind, ravage our republican institutions, corrupt our courts, wipe the floor with our Constitution, and insult us every day–and we idolize them? We sit and watch sappy movies about them? Merciful heavens, have we truly come to this?

Say it ain’t so, Joe… say it ain’t so.

Pinocchio: Fact, Not Fiction!

The crack investigative team at Stunata News Service has stopped investigating cracks and pulled off the journalistic coup of the millenium.

They have tracked down the real Pinocchio!

“Everybody thinks Pinocchio is a kids’ story, a Disney cartoon,” said cracked reporter Harry Hootch, “but Mr. Pinocchio was–and is!–a real person!”

The famous wooden puppet who was magically turned into a flesh-and-blood boy has, for the past 67 years, been living as Mr. Vincenzo Anthony Pinocchio at Apt. 3-H in a tenement in The Bronx, New York. Mr. Hootch and his Eyewitless News team tracked him down last week for an exclusive interview.

But wouldn’t Pinocchio now be almost 150 years old?

“He doesn’t age like we do,” said Mr. Hootch, who conducted the interview, along with a specialist to translate questions and answers into Esperanto. “It seems that from time to time the magic wears off, and then for a while he’s a wooden puppet again, until the Blue Fairy can turn him back into a human. During those times, of course, he doesn’t age at all.”

The Blue Fairy was not available for comment.

The videotaped interview with the real Pinocchio will be aired next Tuesday in Harry Hootch’s living room.

“Mr. Pinocchio says the thing that causes him to turn back into a puppet is Climate Change,” said the eminent journalist. “That’s what makes his nose grow, too. He used to think his nose got longer every time he told a lie, and that’s what they put in the Disney movie. But now he says it shoots out another inch or two whenever he tries to warn people about Climate Change.”

Up Next: Our crack investigative team investigates Carlo Collodi’s claim that Pinocchio murdered Jiminy Cricket. They will then go back to investigating cracks.


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