New CDC Guidelines for, um, ‘Having Sex’

Happy Puppies Photograph by Warren Photographic | Pixels

Here we go with the happy puppies again. How am I supposed to illustrate this mess?

(Thanks to Susan for the nooze clip–blame her.)

Reacting to the new monkeypox scare, the government’s Center for Disease Control has issued new guidelines for “having sex” (See https://www.cdc.gov/poxvirus/monkeypox/pdf/MPX_Social_Gatherings_Safer_Sex-508.pdf for one of several examples)–and how the dickens do I write about this? I knew I was in trouble when I read a reminder to “wash your hands, fetish gear [“fetish gear”?], and sex toys” after “having sex.”

Yeah, better wash that fetish gear… Like everybody has some.

We’re also counseled to avoid “hugging, massaging, kissing”–but M______ is “always safe.” But just to make sure, preserve “social distancing” when “having sex.” Try not to do it at a distance less than six feet.

I trust this gives you some idea of how hard it is to write satire, these days.

But not to worry! There’s always mail-in voting! That’s how you wind up with SloJo in the White House. You know they’re gonna go for that again!

Can’t We Tell Stories Anymore?

117 Family Campfire Camping Storytelling Stock Photos, Pictures &  Royalty-Free Images - iStock

The stories we heard around the campfire at Y Camp in the 60s were better than today’s movie scripts.

The art of storytelling is as old as humanity itself. So what gives with all these current movies in which the story just totally falls apart in the last 30 minutes of the film? Like the writers have no idea how to end it?

How do you learn to tell a story? You listen to stories, you read as many as you can, and you imitate the ones you like. But if hardly anyone is reading anymore, who’s left who knows how to tell a story?

I’m tired of movies that promise much and wind up delivering nothing. We watched a film called A Cure for Wellness (2016), supposedly a psychological thriller about goings-on at a pricey, innovative wellness center somewhere in the Swiss Alps. Exquisitely filmed, well-acted… and we aborted the final 15 or 20 minutes of it because the writers had thoroughly lost the thread of the story and tried to make up for it with graphic sex scenes. And it was a long movie, too: we’ll never get those hours back.

The same thing happens with a lot of new movies: they just can’t wrap up the story. It’s like it only ends because they couldn’t buy more film. I have already deleted most of the titles from my mind. Not worth remembering!

I put it down to a shortage of reading. Nobody’s reading cogent stories anymore, so no one knows how to write one. And I suspect it’s going to get worse before it gets better–if it ever does get better. Can we only watch old movies anymore? Is there any way we can force today’s screenwriters to watch them?

We used to know how to tell a story. Now it seems we don’t. What a loss that is! And dumbing down the public is no way to keep a country running.

We Wahnt Themb Tamp-Ons!!!!!

Toilet roll chained to the wall in park toilet after spate of  coronavirus-fuelled thefts

Neckst thing yiu know,, the’ll Lock Up “the” Toylit Paper tooo!!!

We hadded a Merjintsy Meting of the Stoodint Soviet “this” moaning becose “we” jist herd the Collidge “was goingto” taik Tamp-Ons oaut “of” The mans bath=rhoombs and putt them “in The” wimmin’s bath-rhoombs becose thare “is” A Tamp-On shoartidge!!!!!

This heer it “is” “a” Colambitty!!!!!!!! It is A Secksyst Bloe aginst Men whoo got to Mansterate!!!!! It “is” Un-Inkloosiff!!!! We are Not goingto Taik “it” lyeing daown!!!!!!

Of coarse thare shuddnt “be” Mans OR Wimmins bath/rhoombs At All!!!! Thare shood Ownly “be” Peeples Bath Rhoombs!!!!!!!!!! That is Becoause “Men’ “and” “Wimmin’ thay Are Not Reel!!!! Thay are Ownly Socile Contrucks!!!!!!!

Y’know waht??? I hadded my hart sett “On” using a Tamp-On foar The frist tyme and nhow thare Is Not enuff Tamp-Ons “to” Go Araound!!!! That is Pootin’s fawlt!!! and aslo Donold Trumpt’s”!”!! Wate till Pressadint Jobydin he fynds Oaut!!!!!

So we writ And sented himb a “letter” deemanding that he duz a Axecrative Odor that anny boddy whoo Whants A Tamp-On thay shood “get one” foar Freee!!!!!!! He whil straitin this Oaut Quicck!!!

‘Miss Universe’ Goes Off the Deep End

Most Cute Puppies Compilation 2015 - YouTube

This is just too much. Here are a couple of nice puppies instead.

I don’t know anyone who plans to watch it, but this year’s Miss Universe contest has gone full-throttle woke (https://ussanews.com/2022/06/16/miss-universe-goes-woke-insists-not-all-people-who-menstruate-are-women/).

“Not all people who menstruate are women,” proclaim the pageant’s organizers. So they’re going to stress “inclusive language,” which they declare will promote “Menstrual Equity.” They wish to join Kitanji Whatsername in claiming that they don’t know, anymore, what a woman is. There’s a great deal more woke babble I could quote, but gee whiz, it’s Friday and I’m about fed up to here with nooze.

Question! In their wildest dreams, do these dindles honestly believe the American people enjoy, accept, or want any of this schiff? Far Left Crazies say they want it, but that’s only because it’s been spoon-fed to them by their goofy gurus and they have no idea why they want it: they just mindlessly spit out talking points whenever they feel the need to insult their own and their listeners’ intelligence and even sanity.

Who sez you can’t have feminism and the total deconstruction of “women” at the same time?

How do we get out of here? Where’s the freakin’ exit?

Disney’s Still At It

15 Pictures Of Puppies Doing The Cutest Puppy Things

It’s happy puppy time! And if you’ve been with this blog a while, you’ll know why.

Do you remember ever asking the Disney Corp. to “educate” your children?

Well, they don’t care whether you want ’em to or not. They’re just gonna do it.

Which brings us to Disney’s new Toy Story spinoff, Lightyear (https://aleteia.org/2022/06/15/what-you-should-know-before-taking-your-kids-to-see-disneys-lightyear/). The intent seems to be to “educate” very young children about the ineffable wonderfulness of lesbianism, etc. It features two women kissing, getting, uh, “married,” and one of ’em gets pregnant (don’t ask).

Are they or are they not trying to groom children for aberrant sex? A Disney exec brags about the corporation’s “not-so-secret gay agenda.” Is there any reason not to believe her?

Why? Who wants this? What do they get out of it?

I know what Satan gets. He gets the extinction of the human race. Huh? Simple. If everybody’s “gay” or “trans,” no more us. Pffft.

I’d rather we stayed and Disney Corp. went lights out forever.

What’s With the ‘Father Figure’?

Dads of Glory

Don’t get me wrong. If someone can step in and be a father to a child who doesn’t have one, he deserves a statue. Of course we honor him.

But lately I’ve been seeing more and more emphasis on “a father figure” and less and less on “father.” Father and “father figure” are NOT the same thing.

I’ve also been hearing it on the radio, in the run-up toward Father’s Day. “Father Figure.”

And you’ve got Entenmann’s Bakeries holding a “Dads of Glory” contest… which “isn’t just for people you call ‘dad’…” Oh, no, my precious! Because… wait for it… the “dad,” according to Entenmann’s, can be male OR female. (“Welcome to my pad, I’m a female dad…”)

I find this rather sinister.

Watch any movie or TV show centered on teenage characters. In almost all of them the father is either just plain not in the story at all, or bad, or irrelevant. I get the impression that our pop culture impresarios want to render fathers obsolete. Replace ’em with father figures. Female father figures.

I don’t like where our culture is headed. Honk if you think we’re doing all right.

‘Men Can’t Be Lesbians’? Jail for You!

Monopoly In Jail | Please give attribution to 'ccPixs.com' (… | Flickr

I wonder why more people don’t run screaming to the sidewalk, trying to escape this evil age.

So… In Denmark, a woman faces up to three years in prison (!!) for saying, and posting it on Twitter, that men cannot be lesbians (https://expose-news.com/2022/06/12/men-cannot-be-lesbians-thinkpol-investigates/). She also said that men cannot be mothers. (Horrified gasps)

This rates jail time? Really? Yeahbut, yeahbut! Some wacko of a tranny complained! Shouldn’t that automatically land you in solitary confinement–or do they only do that to you for trespassing?

Do we honestly want to live in a world where you can go to jail for stating the freakin’ obvious?

The people who are building this prison for us need to be stopped.

Deep State: The Next Generation

AG Merrick Garland must call off war on parents: Devine

Here he is, Merrick Garland–front man for the Deep State! We have no idea how many goons and snitches he has on his payroll.

(I’m thinking of expanding this into a Newswithviews piece, but first I’ve got to jot it down while it’s still fresh in my mind.)

What would you think of a child who said, “I want to be in the Deep State when I grow up!”

Uh… why?

“Because then you can do anything you want to anybody and never get in trouble for it! You don’t even have to think about telling the truth–ever! Even the freakin’ president can’t touch you! If he rocks the boat too much, just get rid of him… like they did to Trump.

“If you’re in the Deep State, even if you get caught doing something really bad, you don’t go to jail or nothin’! You just, heh-heh, ‘resign’–and then you hit the cable news shows and make piles of money.”

Sinners don’t need much encouragement to sin, but jeepers creepers! Fixing elections, taking down the president, spying on parents who are cheesed off at their school boards–I’d be mortified if any child of mine wanted to do stuff like that for a living.

Please Tell Me They’re Just Kidding

Three Tarot Cards Stock Illustration - Download Image Now - iStock

So I went to YouTube yesterday to look for a hymn; and there in the middle of the home page, I found this message which I reproduce here, word for word:

“Get a personalized tarot card reading in the interactive experience [huh?] featuring your favorite YouTube Creatives.” [“Creative” got turned into a noun when I wasn’t looking.]

I don’t consider it spiritually healthy to play around with occult mumbo-jumbo, so I passed on the invitation to Click Here. Even if there’s nothing to it–well, wait a minute: that makes it worse, doesn’t it?  Open the door, and you don’t know what’ll come in.

What’s next, YouTube? Ouija boards? That sounds promising. Join your favorite Creatives and Influencers in an online Ouija board session! Yeesh. I saw a British horror movie once in which the haints got into a TV network’s electronics and gave the hapless humans a really bad time.

My computer has enough troubles without getting the occult involved.

No Guts, No Courage, No Brains

Cowardly High Resolution Stock Photography and Images - Alamy

“Journalists” are really disgusting: no bigger pack of cowards has ever burdened the human race.

Every stupid moronic PC tidbit that comes down the pike, they scarf it down–and then they spit it back out at their audience. Like “black” now gets a capital B (but not from me). Latino or Latina (the correct Spanish terms) becomes “latinx.” And every chicken-schiff “journalist” out there dives onto the bandwagon.

The most offensive of these neo-stupidities, to me, is the use of the word “they” to denote one person. This is done to avoid using “he” or “she,” etc. They avoid using normal English pronouns because a couple of dindles at a journalism school said so. “Did Jane ever make it to the dance?” “No, they weren’t there.” What kind of twaddle is this? Who are they afraid of? What do they think will happen to them if they talk like normal people who aren’t prating fools?

Even a so-called “conservative” like Sean Hannity does this. He refers to Bruce Jenner, a man with a profound mental illness, as “Caitlyn” and “she.” How can we respect someone who does that?

Cowards. Poltroons. Make like dandruff and flake off.