Constable Chumley Quells a Riot (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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At the close of Chapter CDXIV of Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney, Lady Margo Cargo’s upholstered wooden leg, accidentally thrown onto the roller derby rink, has turned the skating match into pure chaos as the visiting Ulan Bator Lake Smelts, with several of their star players critically injured by the errant wooden leg, and with Lady Margo herself trying to crawl across the rink to retrieve it, storm the rails to take vengeance on all of Scurveyshire.

“And they say I can’t write a coherent sentence!” interjects Ms. Crepuscular.

Powerless to stop the violence, Lord Jeremy Crepuscular pleads with Constable Chumley. “Do something, man! Do something before they destroy the whole town!”

“Frith my linkle vostry, m’lord,” calmly replies the constable. To Lord Jeremy’s appalled amazement, the constable takes a red yo-yo from his pocket and begins to play with it. “Ye gods, the man is mad!” cries Lord Jeremy.

But the results fully justify the constable’s prompt, decisive action.

“At this point in world history”–she’s interjecting again: I don’t know how to stop her–“the yo-yo was unknown in Mongolia. Marco Polo presented one to Kubla Khan, but the khan’s successors lost it in a poker game with a traveling Manchu card sharp, and by now there is no one in Ulan Bator who has ever seen or even imagined one.”

The Lake Smelts instantly lose the impulse to riot, and they gather around Constable Chumley in frozen fascination. The effect is supernumary! Lady Margo is even able to recover her upholstered wooden leg while all the skaters, entranced in pure wonder, watch the yo-yo bob up and down.

“‘Tis all yon frothering with a wee braystick,” he explains. The Lake Smelts tamely follow him to the railway station and embark on the next train, with team Captain Draja Chukutaiev now the proud owner of a bright red yo-yo.

The chapter ends with the entire population of Scurveyshire trying to buy yo-yos.


‘Farther Along’

Joshua sent us this hymn performed by his brother, Jeremy–Farther Along. There are echoes of the Psalms in here: makes me think of Psalm 73 in particular. “Surely God is good to Israel… But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped…” Thank you, Swanson brothers.

Let’s Hear from You!

Listening Ears & Vocabulary —

Hey, I’ve found a new hymn by the Voice of Eden–and I will post it today if you guys want to hear it. I’ve never heard it before, but I’m sure it’ll be great.

But I do want to know your pleasure! This blog needs waking up! King COVID has cast a spell of drowsiness over the whole world, drowsiness and forgetfulness–don’t tell me you haven’t caught yourselves forgetting to do certain errands that are important but you forgot them anyway. That phenomenon is spreading all over the earth.

We can fight it with hymns! Our King Jesus Christ is mightier than theirs.

As another hymn puts it, “Rise up, O men [and women!] of God.” And as we sometimes sang in Sunday school, with more understanding than we could have realized, “Wise up, O men of God.”

Listen to God’s Sentinels

Boy, howdy, that last post left a foul taste in my mouth!

Well, here’s a tiny watchman on the wall–a little pika chirping out a warning. These small relatives of rabbits live among the rocky slopes of mountains, and they let each other know when danger’s coming.

How often have God’s watchmen sounded the trumpet from the walls! It would have been good for us to listen.

Satan’s Puppet Show

Vatican Invites Abortion Advocate Chelsea Clinton [and New Age Leader  Deepak Chopra] To Talk About 'Health' And The 'Soul'" - Lighthouse Trails  Research Project

Do I smell brimstone?

I fully intended not to write up any nooze today, but this story below is so outrageous, so indistinguishable from really nasty satire, and so provoking, that I just can’t help myself.

Next month, as part of an sinternational [Let the typo stand!] Vatican health conference, the Red Pope, Francis I, will buddy up with…. (God, give me strength)…

Doc Fauci, abortion champ and all-around sage Chelsea Clinton, and New Age wally Deepak Chopra–

Wait, wait, stop! What is this–a PBS fund-raiser? April Fool’s was two weeks ago, you missed it!

No. Sorry. It’s true. The Pope, Chelsea Clinton, Deepak Chopra, along with Big Pharma CEOs and assorted celebrities, movie stars, rock stars, will all get together to discuss the interplay of “mind, body, and soul”–you win a tin-foil hat if you can manage to debase all three.

Really? This is a Bosch painting isn’t it? With some input from Dali. This can’t possibly be a Church function. Say it ain’t so, Joe!

I’m afraid it is, kid.

So the Pope is going to yoke himself up with the worldliest of the worldly, and God keep us well away from whatever furrow they might plow. Protect us, O Lord, for your name’s sake! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

‘Most Fantastic Education Reform Ever!’ (2017)

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Imagine a country in which every adult has a Ph. D.: in which every adult has to stay in college full-time until he gets one. Wow! 300 million Ph.D.’s, and then some!

Most Fantastic Education Reform Ever!

It might take you 25 years to earn your doctorate in Superhero Studies, but it’d be worth it! And think of the talent pool available for Mostly Peaceful Protests! Why, we’d achieve Pure Socialism in a matter of weeks!

We would all be “doctors.” That’s a plus!

‘A Mighty Fortress’ (Fountainview Academy)

Note the backdrop: the Coliseum, symbol of the power and might of Rome, where Christians were put to death for their faith–now a ruin.

Someday this hymn will be sung beside the ruins of todays globalist, humanist, pseudocivilization.

A Mighty Fortress Is Our God, by Martin Luther; sung by the students from Fountainview Academy.

Can You Count the Kittens?

Are there four, five, or six of these hyper kittens? You’ll have to wait till they all conk out. Their mother is auditioning for a role as a symbol of stoicism.

Counting kittens is hard. You can practice by counting the guppies in the aquarium at the pet store. Take care not to burn out your brain.

Prayer Request: Peep


Our cat Peep seems a bit under the weather today, and she’s been having trouble getting up the stairs to the bedroom. She and Robbie are getting elderly.

Peep is Patty’s little shadow, and I don’t mind carrying her up the stairs if that’s where she wants to be. Not everybody understands this, but some of you do: our cats are our loved ones. Not much left of our family, and those who still live, all live far away. I can’t manage a four-hour drive on the highway anymore.

So please mention Peep in your prayers. We need the love our cats give us. Pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.

We’ve Got Our Tulips Back

Red Tulips High Res Stock Images | Shutterstock

Last year the squirrels ate all the flowers as soon as they bloomed. This year, deer stopped by and ate the buds. But they missed two of them, and so we put a tomato cage over the two remaining buds; and as they grew, we put bricks under the cage to give them room to grow. So now we have two gorgeous bright-red tulips growing by our front door.

It’s such a treat to see them again. I love the deer, but really, they shouldn’t eat our tulips! But the cage has stymied both them and the squirrels.

Flowers are one of the ways God has of telling us that He’s never farther than a prayer away.