PM: Britain Needs More Social Mobility

Prime Minister David Cameron says the United Kingdom’s government must “do more” to increase social mobility.

To see what happens when government “does” something, see Obamacare.

Now, how do you energize social mobility from the top down? Among the options the British government is considering are these.

1. Hand out peerages. Like, when you woke up at noon today, you were Joe Blow, unemployed yobbo. But along comes PM Cameron, your fairy godmother, and–bibbity-bobbity-boo!–suddenly you’re Lord Blow, Viscount of Whatever. And your drunken ass of a cousin is the Earl of Swill. Everybody’s got a title!

2. Abolish peerages. All right, that’s downward mobility. No earthly government has ever succeeded in making everybody rich; but any bunch of idiots with power can make millions of people poor without half trying.

3. Enact the ‘Queen for a Day‘ Program. Sack the royal family and set up a system that allows every man, woman, and child in Britain to be royal for a day. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a Prince of Wales who was really Welsh? Why shouldn’t every charwoman have her day in Buckingham Palace? Everybody gets a turn.

There’s only one proposal the government has totally rejected:

To back off, to get out of people’s lives, and let anyone who can rise as high as he can.

“That,” says the PM “would be unfair to lazy sods who have no ambition.”

One comment on “PM: Britain Needs More Social Mobility”

  1. I love the ‘Queen for the Day’ idea! I’d become a British citizen just to have a go at it! LOL In all seriousness, however, the British government hasn’t rejected the proposal to mind their own business, because that was never a proposal in the first place. They’re too far gone for that. Which is a shame because England used to be a great country; they gave us great authors, statesmen, kings, queens, laws, etc. But they’ve decided that new is always better, and anything even remotely influenced by Christianity should be completely reversed 🙁

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