Category Archives: Just for Fun

Snow Fun for Cats

Some of the humans in this video have serious snow accumulation, drifts pressed up against the door. Folks out here in New Jersey would absolutely freak out if that ever happened here. But cats can handle it: watch and see.

And don’t miss the cat who figures out how to use a toboggan.

Bonus Video: Cheesed-Off Bunny

Enough already with the loony politics! Let us soothe our minds with this bunny video.

The bunny doesn’t want the confounded toy in his bed and keeps throwing it out. And the stupid human keeps putting it back in. It’s such a cute bunny, I couldn’t resist posting the video. But I think his wishes should have been respected: knock it off with the freakin’ plastic toy! Then again, the exercise and stimulation might be good for him; I’ve never had a bunny, so I wouldn’t really know. But I’m pretty sure this would not be a wise thing to do with your pet monitor lizard.

Snow for the Birds

Have you ever seen this before? I haven’t! Birds playing in the snow.

Well, they get a lot of snow in Russia, where this video was filmed: might as well learn to enjoy it. You don’t think of wild birds playing. That’s for parrots, et al. But it is said that crowd are among the most intelligent of birds, so they ought to be able to make a game of snowy weather.

There’s always more to animals than you thought.

Cat and Dog, Partners in Crime

I once lived in a house where this happened fairly often. We had a refrigerator with one of those push-down door handles. The cat would jump up and hang on the handle, pulling it down and causing the door to swing open. Then he and the dog would climb in and eat my housemates’ suppers.

Here they’re only stealing cookies, and probably confused by the patzer standing there with a camera, filming them. It would confuse me if I were stealing cookies.

‘Oy, Rodney’ Gets Mushy

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I am tempted to pass over Chapters CXX and CXXI of Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney because they are intolerably mushy. Ms. Crepuscular acknowledges that. “You may find these next two chapters intolerably mushy,” she warns.

Lady Margo Cargo, the richest widow in Scurveyshire, is prepared to marry Lord Jeremy Coldsore and the American adventurer, Willis Twombley, who thinks he is Sargon of Akkad. Twombley has convinced her that he and Lord Jeremy are one and the same person.  But the wedding was disrupted and has not yet been rescheduled: Lady Margo thinks she might have a touch of leprosy.

“It’s only wind, you silly old bat,” says her crusty old butler, Crusty.

Then the mush creeps in as Lord Jeremy renews his wooing, this time in person.

“Madam, as soon as the vicar gets over his conniptions, we must be wed,” says Jeremy. They are having rock-hard biscuits baked by Lady Margo’s lunatic aunt. In the opulent comfort of Lady Margo’s parlor, her pet crayfish, Oswin, sulks in his aquarium.

“I love you so much, I could plotz,” says Jeremy. “Your ears are like prize cabbages.”

“Eh?” Those ears do not always function as they should.

“Your hair–” a wig, actually–“is as soft as yogurt,” Jeremy continues. This goes on for the whole two chapters.

Meanwhile, the whole village is startled out of sleep one midnight by horrible groans and shrieks issuing from under the wading pool in the vicar’s back yard. A crowd of peasants armed with scythes and torches descends upon the scene, but then goes home because no one dares lift up the pool and look under it. Constable Chumley reassures them: “‘Tis only yair fickling rawstie,” he explains. This gives them something to think about for the rest of the night.

Corgis Do Their Stuff

I find something charming in these slightly goofy little dogs. A corgi will try anything once. I particularly like the one who has decided he can moonlight as a sheepdog. Maybe he ought to watch Babe one more time, before the goats run out of patience with him.

The Fat-Head’s Tool Kit: Stupid Stats

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In mustering false facts to wow your audience and make them think you’re smart, don’t neglect statistics. Who isn’t impressed by statistics? It’s best you make them up yourself, because that way people can’t check up on what you say; but you do have to make them sound convincing. Stand tall, look ’em in the eye, and lie like a rug.

Here are some examples to get you started.

*98.3% of persons who practice astral projection believe in Man-Made Climate Change.

*43.4% of American Protestants got rather bad marks in college.

*At least 12.5% of women who have had abortions have gone on to become television news reporters and elected officials.

*Scientists at the Greenland Institute of Higher Education have found a one-to-one correlation between homeschooling and social dysfunction.

*Throughout ancient history, persons living in matriarchal societies enjoyed a Happiness Index 36 points higher than those living in other kinds of societies.

*The average atheist is 2.75 centimeters taller than the average Christian.

Yes, there will be silly people who attempt to argue with you. But all you have to do is smile tolerantly, shrug your shoulders, and say “Figures don’t lie.”

There’s no limit to how far you can go with this. I wish I had a statistic for how many future U.S. senators are reading this.


Talking to Your Cat

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As long as some of us are talking about cats, I’d like to share this with you. It’s a true story. Honest.

My cat Buster, a big orange cat, was sitting up on the cabinet, looking out the window. His sister, Missy, was on the floor, washing herself. I was concerned for Missy’s weight; so I said to Buster, “Yo, Buster! Look how fat your sister is getting. She needs some exercise. Why don’t you jump down from there and chase her up the stairs?”

And that is exactly what he did.

You can’t tell me your cats don’t understand you when you talk to them. Well, okay, you can tell me that–but I won’t believe you.

Win a Date with Joe Collidge!

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Yes, hours of pure astonishment can now be yours! All you have to do is win a contest, and you get the company of our contributing doofus, Joe Collidge, all to yourself for an entire evening. Or less, if you can’t take that much of it.

The object of this contest is to invent a contest for which a date with Joe would be a suitable first prize. The object of this post is to somehow attract readership on a really slow day so far, but that’s a side issue.

So, if you want to know what it’s like to have Joe’s moth antenners waving in your face, put on your thinking cap and start thinking!

Rebuking Your Cat

Scold a dog and he’ll get all upset and pathetic. Scold a cat, and he’ll just look at you. Like, you didn’t really think those paper towels were yours, did you? Although my cats will stop doing certain things if they hear me utter certain words in a certain tone of voice. Still, it would be unfair not to mention that they mostly get yelled at for fighting; they wouldn’t dream of tearing up my paper towels.

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