Category Archives: Just for Fun

Cats, Masters of Sleep

I dare you to try some of these sleep positions. Pioneered by cats, they are intended for all mammals, especially the ones that have backbones.

It is said that falling asleep face-first in a bowl of food gives you unexpected insights.


It’s Tanystropheus Time Again

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Do you really want to read about the first “same-sex romance” on some reality TV show? Do you think I want to write about it?

It’s Tanystropheus time!

When the nooze is just too disgusting to bother with, it’s time to imagine going for a swim or playing Parchesi with one of those impossibly long-necked reptiles of a bygone age. They’re back in Lintum Forest now, if you can find the way.

Speaking of which, I think I’d better head out there myself. We have another doctor visit this afternoon, two or three hours of my work day lost… So please take the opportunity, dear readers, to browse around the blog archives for all sorts of cool stuff.


Kooky Kritters: The Saga Continues

I’m sure a dog who takes it upon himself to transfer stones from one stream to another is worthy of a saga. Ditto the cat who grooms the owl, and the cockatiel who wants to pluck keys off the keyboard. I’ve studied the Icelandic sagas, and I have to say they’re kind of short on kooky animals. Thorstein Cod-Biter would have been much the better for having a pet turtle to take care of.


‘Jurassic World IV’: Hedgehogs

I thought that headline might prove irresistible.

Anyhow… I’ve never had a hedgehog, but there’s something about those little characters that makes me smile when I see them. I have heard that they are most closely related to ladybugs and school administrators, but I don’t see that at all. You can tell by the way they run that they’re mammals.


Laugh Break

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I can’t stand any more nooze! How about a funny story instead?

This is a true story from an impeccable source. I think.

“I was fishin’ down the river one day, and wouldn’t you know it, I ran out of worms. I wanted to keep on fishin’, but how could I do it without bait?

“Just then a copperhead came slitherin’ along with a nice big worm in its mouth. Well, I wanted that worm! So I took my flask of whiskey and poured a little sip into the copperhead’s mouth. He dropped the worm and slithered away real fast, and I had the bait I needed.

“I no sooner put the worm on the hook when I heard a rustlin’ in the bushes. It was the copperhead, come back. And he had another worm…” And a newfound taste for whiskey, I guess.


Byron Presents: Bell Mountain Trivia Question No. 11

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Well, so far I haven’t come up with any questions that have stumped everybody…

G’day, mates! Byron the Quokka here, with Bell Mountain Trivia Question No. 11. There’s always some smarty-pants who knows the answer. Humans must be smarter than we thought. But let’s see if this one stops ’em:

Who was the only person to escape the avalanche that buried the Thunder King’s hall? (Hint: this person left early.)

Remember, the winner of this contest gets a Bell Mountain book autographed by the author, who’s too cheap to give you a bicycle.

Of course, if you haven’t read any of the books, you won’t be playing in this contest. To get an idea of what you’re missing, just go to the home page and click “Books.” It seems like ages since any human bought one, let alone posted a Customer Review on amazon.com.

Hop aboard, and join the fun!


Cats & Beards

I could almost refuse to believe this video. Both our cats have always shunned my beard, never displayed even a moment’s affinity for it. Peep will occasionally wash my forearm for me, and I had a mouse who used to straighten out my mustache–but daddy’s beard? Ugh! Perish the thought.

They might feel differently about it, I suppose, if they had to shave.


Byron’s Brainstorm

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No, mates, no–not that blighter Lord Byron! Byron the Quokka–that’s me.

And I’ve finally had an idea that Lee thought was over-the-moon brilliant, in fact he wanted to snatch me up and kiss me and I just barely got away… Right! The prize for winning the latest comment contest–which has already started, sort of–for posting the magic milestone Comment No. 50,000 on this blog–the prize will be–

Crikey, he won’t let me say what it is! “Spectacular idea, Byron, truly spectacular–but let’s not unveil it until after we’ve passed No. 49,000. Once they see what it is, they’ll race to 50,000.” I’ve got to admit there’s a certain crepuscularity to his reasoning.

No, the prize won’t be that cool green car in the background. I’m not bloomin’ crazy. He won’t let me give out a bicycle, no sense in even asking him about a car.

But this prize that I thought of today–oh, ho, ho!

(“Can’t I give ’em just a hint?”)

(“No, you can’t. If you give away the secret before I say okay, you’re out of a job, mate.”)

I’d better hop out of here before I say something I’ll regret.

See you tomorrow with Bell Mountain Trivia No. 11!


Incredible Cats & Dogs

You’re gonna see at least one clip in this video that you won’t believe. No, I won’t tell you what it is: you’ll have to watch.

Cats and dogs not only can learn to be friends; they can also learn to cooperate in doing things they shouldn’t do. These are highly intelligent animals! Much more so than we give them credit for. But I suspect that applies to most animals–don’t you?


The Arrival of a Rival (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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Introducing Chapter CCCXI of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney, Violet Crepuscular exults:

“I have introduced a new stylistic flourish to English prose, dear readers! I shall call it the Crepuscularity. ‘The Arrival of a Rival’ is a shining example of the technique! Allow me to provide two more. ‘A Man’s Laughter at Manslaughter,’ and ‘Where Is a Wombat’s Womb At?'” Here she inserts several kissing emojis, which I am unable to reproduce here. For that matter, I am also unable to define “crepuscularity.” What the dickens is she getting at?

We were all waiting to see what would happen when the three seventh sons of seventh sons, expert morris dancers and all named Squeeb MacTavish, attempted to lift the curse on the vicar’s backyard wading pool, following the instructions of the Wise Woman of the Woods. But do we get that?

“Bear with me, dear readers,” Ms. Crepuscular confides in her readers, “as I heighten the suspense by introducing a necessary complication into the plot.”

The complication takes the form of a well-dressed but also very rugged-looking man who shows up at the door of Lady Margo Cargo’s luxurious country house.

“Who the devil are you?” demands her crusty butler, Crusty.

“I was Lady Margo’s girlhood boyfriend, pledged to become her husband after I made good in the world. I then went off to seek my fortune. Now I have returned.” The man pauses to scratch at a livid scar in the shape of an exclamation point. “Please tell her that Mr. Agamemnon Frizzle is here to claim his bride.”

Crusty, whose own marital ambitions have been thwarted by Lord Jeremy Coldsore, is in no mood for the arrival of a rival. (“There! I did it again!”)

“I don’t see no fortune,” he drools. (I cannot explain why Ms. Crepuscular chose this verb.)

Mr. Frizzle grins, a horrifying sight. “And no one saw the lost city of Shopworth, either,” he declares–“until I found it!”

Crusty is perplexed. The city of Shopworth, Saskatchewan, has never been lost, to his knowledge.

Here the chapter breaks–again “to heighten the suspense,” explains Ms. Crepuscular. Or maybe she just doesn’t know what to write next.


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