Category Archives: Just for Fun

Cats Being Good with Birds

How do these parrots and parakeets know the cats won’t hurt them–even when they go out of their way to tease and bother kitty? Like, it would be soooo easy to be turned into an expensive mouthful of feathers!

Well, okay, some of those grey parrots are as big or bigger than the kittens they’re playing with: and they don’t hurt the kittens, although I’m sure they could.

The more you watch animals, the more surprises you get.


Doggy Delinquents

Dogs crave our approval, and it’s obvious they understand when they’re being rebuked, however mildly. Yes, they’re smart: you’d almost swear they speak English. So then why aren’t they smart enough not to make a shambles of your living room? That’s one for the Durants. Meanwhile, you never have this problem with a pet turtle.


Movie Contest Picks Up Steam

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As soon as we get $200 million, we can start production of the Bell Mountain movie. In the meantime, the contest to cast the movie is providing a lot of fun around here–especially for some of our younger readers.

I would like to see more of us old folks pitch in. Why not? It’s a party! And everyone’s invited. Just suggest some actors to play some characters in the books, or a director–can’t make a movie without a director. The only way for this to work is if a lot of readers play the game. The more, the merrier.

So far, there have been a few suggestions that struck me as right on the money, why didn’t I think of that, just the ticket, etc. I may have to modify the contest to provide for more than one winner.

The winner (or winners) will receive an autographed copy of The Temptation, Book No. 11 in the series, as soon as it’s published. It shouldn’t be a long wait, everything’s just about done.

And if you haven’t read any of the books yet, now’s as good a time as any to get started. Just click “Books,” and in addition to blurbs, covers, and sample chapters, you’ll find a couple of ways to order a book right away. All of them are available in both paperback and kindle format.

 


Cozy Kittens: Payback Time

Please excuse the headline. I was only trying to make it punchier.

In certain bait shops they’ll sell you a little brown paper bag full of live fiddler crabs. What they don’t sell you is instructions on how to handle them. The crabs are in constant motion (who can blame them?), trying to escape. Somehow the kittens in this video reminded me of those crabs. Only fuzzier.


Cats vs. the U.S. Mail

Cat vs. mailman–they’re evenly matched. Both are determined to have their way with the mail. Neither will give up. The only thing certain is that the intended recipient of the mail will have to stand in line: the cat gets the mail before you do.


Flash! How to Make a Lizard Go to Sleep

I had a couple hours’ worth of errands to do today, I am so far behind in my work, I’m fed up with the nooze–

But I couldn’t take a break without sharing this vital information with you all.

I’ve tried this with a lot of different kinds of lizards, and it always works: if you want the lizard to go to sleep, rub its belly. I’m told it works on alligators, too, but can’t vouch for it.

Does anybody know if it works on celebrities?


Cats & Roombas

It didn’t take cats long to figure out what those roomba things are for, did it? Vacuum, schmacuum–obviously they’re for cats to ride. Now I wonder whether I’ve spelled “schmacuum” right. Let me check with my cats.


A Knight Visitor (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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In Chapter CCLXVIII of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney–with Constable Chumley’s rescue expedition still wandering around somewhere under the vicar’s backyard wading pool–Violet Crepuscular brings a new character into the picture.

Sir Henry Smedley-Foover, the adult pull-toy magnate, has been knighted by the Queen in recognition of the fantastic amount of money he’s made, devising and selling pull-toys for adults. His motto is, “Why should kids have all the fun?” It is rumored that the Queen herself is now the proud owner of a Foover Megalosaurus pull-toy, illustrated below. This is the only illustration in the book so far, so we must make the most of it.

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As you can see, it doesn’t have its wheels yet, to say nothing of the stout marine cable by which it must be pulled. It takes at least 20 strong, healthy men to pull this rather large toy over level ground. There are smaller models, of course, but the full-size dinosaur pull-toys are the Foover Company’s trademark.

Sir Henry is intrigued by the current crisis which preoccupies all Scurveyshire. “If only I had arrived here sooner!” he laments to Lord Jeremy Coldsore, whose bride, Lady Margo Cargo, is the person in need of rescue. In reality–if we may use that word in this context–Lady Margo is not and never has been under the wading pool. Having escaped from the Plaguesby Jail, she is currently trying to make her way through the miry Fens of Scurveyshire, hopping on one foot all the way because she has lost her upholstered wooden leg. But no one in Scurveyshire Village knows that.

“What would you have done, Sir Henry, had you been here?” Lord Jeremy asks. He doesn’t like adult pull-toys.

“I could have offered one of my pull-toys as a sacrifice to whatever evil entity lurks under the wading pool, my lord. Even evil entities like pull-toys! May I recommend my life-size Iguanodon pull-toy? You could offer it in exchange for your bride. I’ll let you pay for it in installments!”

Meanwhile, what of Constable Chumley and his bearers and askaris?

“They are facing unimaginable perils which I’m having difficulty imagining,” she confides in her readers, “but I am sure one of my subsequent chapters will prove to be worth waiting for.”

She pleads with us to continue reading.


The Bell Mountain Movie Contest, Take Two

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I’m not entirely sure this is a good idea–after all, it bombed the first time we tried it–but nothing ventured, nothing gained. So I hereby open The Official and Bona Fide Bell Mountain Movie Contest.

Suppose we were suddenly in possession of $200 million and wanted to make a movie based on yours truly’s Bell Mountain books. And suppose you could have anyone you wanted, living or dead, to play the various characters and to direct the movie. Whom would you hire? Whom would you cast?

So that’s the contest: cast the movie. Simply list four characters in the novels with the names of the actors you’d like to see playing those characters; or you can nominate a director. Example: Helki the Rod: Danny DeVito; Ellayne: Bette Davis; Lord Reesh: Stan Laurel; Directed by: Ross Perot. (I have purposely illustrated this example with choices that no one in his right mind would ever make.)

Enter as many times as you like. Entries will be judged–subjectively, I admit–by me, influenced by other readers’ reactions to the suggestions. The contest will run until The Temptation is published, and an autographed copy of it will go to the winner. I’ll extend the contest if more time is needed.

Problem: If you haven’t read any of these books, you’ll be hard-put to compete in this contest. Ridiculously Simple Solution: Read ’em. At least read one, and you’re in business. There are hundreds of characters in these books by now, and you’ve only got to come up with four. How easy can it get?

Last time, a lot of people seemed to enjoy reading about this contest… but we only got three actual entries. I got just as many for a “name that tent caterpillar” contest that wasn’t even real, I didn’t even have a tent caterpillar.

So I’ll give this a week or two and see how it goes. If it doesn’t go, we’ll have to think of something else.


‘A Most Pettable Pet’ (2015)

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A nice, cozy, giant rat the size of a domestic rabbit, sitting on your lap–

Before you run screaming to the sidewalk, give the idea a chance. The Gambian pouched rat does make an affectionate pet: as do our own domestic rats and mice.

https://leeduigon.com/2015/11/29/a-most-pettable-pet/

When I worked at the Ford plant (to pay for college), I learned that parts of that immense factory were home to wild mice. Then I learned the mice were tame: men on their break, finding some place just outside the door, or maybe next to the tool room, liked to sit and cool off, usually with a snack; and there would usually be a tame mouse on hand to keep him company. Everybody fed these mice. In the tool room there lived a cat and a tame mouse. I suppose the cat was there to catch mice; but after seeing the tool room guy feed the mouse a hundred times, the cat surely decided his services weren’t necessary and he might as well get his share of the snacks.

In the Bible, in prophecy, the lion and the lamb lie down together.

I’ve seen the cat and the mouse lie down (or at least sit up) together, so I know it can be done.


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