How to Write Good

The guy who usully writes here, he can’t make it today so I’m taking his place. He is a litterery snob anyhow.

I can’t tell you who I am because I snuck away from my edditor to do this, and then they’d all be mad at me and they wouldnt put me on the New york times best-seller list anymore. You would sure recognize my name if you knew it was me.

I am here to complain about some stuff that other guy has been saying, like he knows how to write fantersy and I don’t. Ha ha! I sell more books in a day than he sells all year.

So he don’t like my dialog. That is cause my dialog is up to date and his isnt. I had a dworf say to a Elf, “Dude, get out of my space!”:And this Mr. Lee he didn’t like that. Also he don’t like it that I write for Young Readers and so the chacterers in my books are in school most of the time, he says that ruins the fantersy, but my edditor says just keep on doing it, the sales are fine.

He dont like magic and super powers, but I know kids want to read about magic and super powers because my books are best sellers and his aint! He also says my books they dont make any sense. For instants, in my New york times best seller called The 12-Year-Old Sorcerors With Super Powers, I made a story that had this terrible bad guy wizard who was going to wipe out all life on Earth (only I didn’t call it Earth, I called it, well I don’t remember, Id have to look it up). And you know what he said? He said it didnt make any sense! He wrote a nasty review and he said, “What is the point of being a dictator if there’s no one left to rule over?” Well I sell more books in a minute than he does in a week.

So take my advice and write fantersy that has kids with super powers sitting around in algerbra class and going on dates and texting, and its all right to have elfs and dworfs and orks and habbits saying okay and dude and celerbrate diversity, etc. If the truth be known, you can write any old thing you want and you can be a best seller. All it takes is good edditors and lots of avertising.

6 comments on “How to Write Good

  1. Hilarious! Even Joe Collidge couldn’t have said it better. Um, or is this Joe Collidge’s creative writing instructor?

  2. I’m gonna take a wild gess and reveel the riter’s identity – sher sounds like a member of Joe Collidge’s fambly to me – speshally since he don’t make no sense.

    1. You have only read this best-selling author after he’s been exhaustively edited. It quite exhausts the editor.

Leave a Reply