The Game That Turns You into Another Species–for Keeps

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Now’s your chance to avoid being swept up in the latest board game craze, Profumo–the game that permanently changes you into a member of another species.

For those who get turned into cats, I suppose it’s not so bad. But there have been many complaints about people being turned into much less desirable species–bedbugs, flatworms, crabgrass, etc. No one is quite sure how Profumo works, or even how to play: it seems the rules were written by a person who was quite mad at the time. All we know is that it has been shown to be very dangerous to spend more than 20 minutes or so trying to play it.

Sponsored by the Democrat National Committee, manufactured by Cthulhu Brothers Inc., Profumo costs $12,385 per copy and is available at most disreputable stores–the kind of store you may be able to enter easily enough, but coming out again is problematic.

And now it’s time for me to enjoy a cigar before I begin the epic work of trimming our Christmas tree.

I’m hoping no one gives me a copy of Profumo as a present. A man in Lima, Ohio, was transformed into a yak just by unwrapping the game.

7 comments on “The Game That Turns You into Another Species–for Keeps

  1. How did the people in the game factory survive producing this game? Pardon me. I always think of these questions. I was recently reminded of the time I asked about a weepy/scary kidnapped-and-trapped movie, “How did they go to the bathroom?” This kind of attention to nitpicky detail is what made me such a good admin officer in the Air Force … or so I used to claim.

  2. I did some last minute shopping alone today. I checked out the board game section – whew! there are tons of them. I didn’t see “Profumo” (why does my spell check say Profumo is not a real word?), but I did see the Millennial edition of Monopoly. It says since real estate is now too costly to even consider buying, they have substituted money for experience. Who ever has the most experiences at the end of the game wins.

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