A New Hymn For a Defeated Church

First it was the Pope suggesting the Roman Catholic Church should chill out on such matters as sodomy, adultery, and abortion.

Now the Southern Baptist Conference has one-upped him. The new honcho of the SBC’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, Russell Moore, recently called for his church to raise the white flag on the whole culture war, and to be “winsome”–I don’t know about you, but I have really begun to hate that word–so as not to turn off “young believers” who have spent most of their lives in public schools learning that fornication is a virtue and the Bible is both fiction and hate speech.

To help the institutional churches express themselves more clearly, a new interdenominational hymn has been written: Throwing in the Towel, to be sung to the tune of Bringing in the Sheaves. Here are the lyrics.

Triumph for abortion, joy for same-sex “marriage,”

Now we understand: the bad guys always win.

We the church surrender, we the church cry “uncle!”

Now we understand there’s no such thing as sin.


Throwing in the towel, throwing in the towel,

We know when we’re licked, we’re throwing in the towel (repeat)

We have been defeated, we have lost the culture;

Gates of hell have finally ‘gainst the church prevailed.

Sorry, Lord, we blew it, we just couldn’t do it,

Satan’s team has won and we the church have failed. Chorus

And do remember to be nice and winsome to the lions, when they force you into the arena.