Hamburger and Rice Dish: The Alibi

Image result for images of hamburger and rice

My wife thinks I ought to tell you why Lee’s Tasteless Supper is so… tasteless. I am afraid the alibi will be more damaging than the accusation, but let’s see what happens if I follow her advice.

I only use salt on French fries or corn on the cob. I use black pepper on casseroles. That’s the only use I get out of seasonings.

I do like chopped onions, but as a single man I never learned to chop them properly.

I can’t stand tomatoes or any kind of cheese, so I would never add them to any dish that I meant to eat. Once when I was a very little boy, I was served some stewed tomatoes, which I had never seen before. When I asked what they were, Aunt Joan said they were leopard hearts. I could never abide the taste of a tomato after that. (Joan was still in her twenties at the time, so cut her some slack.)

Finally, I kind of liked my rice-and-hamburger dish just as it was. I didn’t think it was tasteless!

P.S.–Also never on my menu: catsup, mayonnaise, mustard, jam or jelly, vinegar, most cooked vegetables, and a few other things.

Now everybody’s going to think I’m crazy.