I have received my quarterly book-sales figures. As usual, they’re bloody awful. But the good news is they’re outselling some books, including the following:
—How the International Bankers Kept Me from Being President, by Dennis Kucinich. It seems we owe something to the international bankers.
—Teach Your Cat to Whistle, by Antonia Seppuku. A steal at $25.95.
—Tarzan of the Sloths, by Egon Semolina Burka. Somehow this Tarzan knockoff never got off the ground.
—Tasty Termite Recipes, by Mbumbu Mbumbo. This author is billed as “one of Tanzania’s greatest chefs.” Yum, yum.
—The Wit and Wisdom of Richard Dawkins, by Stu Nata. The title speaks for itself.
There are many others, to be sure. It just goes to show you, as Mr. Riley counseled Basil Fawlty, “There’s always someone who’s worse off than you.”