You’ve Heard of Blind Guides, But This is Worse

Here in this little town, two miles across, with its eight churches, we find a trendy, high-end gift shop which is about to shift to a new location a few blocks up the street from its old one. To celebrate the occasion, the owners will hold a seminar on how to get in touch with “your animal spirit guide.”

Eight churches.

A hundred years ago most people who dabbled in this sort of malarkey proudly claimed a “Red Indian” spirit guide. Sic transit Chief Running Bear. I guess that has become Politically Incorrect. So now, when you want supernatural advice, you get a hamster or whatever. You might even be lucky enough, we are told, to discover that your Animal Spirit Guide is one of your own beloved pets that has passed on.

Eight churches.

The perpetrators of this business are not poor Haitian immigrants but well-to-do, college-educated, white women. They seem like very nice women. I have patronized their store for years, not knowing that they also offered tarot readings on the side. I am very sorry to learn that they wish to be guided by pagan fortune-telling cards and the spirits of animals.

Eight churches, by cracky.

What would be going on here if there were no churches?

20 comments on “You’ve Heard of Blind Guides, But This is Worse

  1. Just another example of what is happening all around, and we have often grown so tolerant of it, training our kids to look away, not get involved or worse – to accept in the name of tolerance. We need to get back to a real Bible based daily religion. Just my opinion.. Thanks for doing your Blog.. like your comments and style.

  2. Area chickens are probably thankful it’s not sanitaria. Eight churches and still the New Agers manage.

  3. I’ve read abit about the New Age movement and it is very much anti Creator, pro anything else. One of its founders (about 120 years ago) was quoted as saying that “Jehovah was the villain in the Garden of Eden”. Once that course is set, the BS flows freely.

    1. The sad thing is that Christianity is so simple if you go to the source. All of this sophistry and philosophical nonsense has nothing to do with what Jesus taught: nothing!

      Some years back, I had grown frustrated with the church I had raised in, and decided to reread the Gospels with an eye towards simply understanding them as they were written, without the influence of external commentary. It was quite revelatory.

      Jesus’ words were simple and comprehensible to virtually anyone. He didn’t demand much at all, love God, love your neighbor, that’s it in a nutshell. Rereading the gospels pretty much put the last nail in the coffin with regard to my church membership. Other than mentioning Jesus’ name occasionally, they had little in common with the teachings found in the Gospels.

    2. Many of us have had similar experiences since most organized ‘religions’ haven’t much to do with Jesus or His mission. They much prefer to continue steeped in their traditions.

    3. I was raised that ‘our church’ was the only way to salvation. It was a real burden. Once I got past that nonsense, it all began to make much more sense. Limiting salvation to just a few million people that happen to belong to some denomination shortchanges God and His plans. He wants to save lots of people earthwide, not just the Third Church of the Second Coming, 1927 Reformation Synod, Sub-Type “C”, DeLisle Followers, Left-Handed Norwegian Associative Group. 🙂

  4. There’s an old joke about a guy that sees a fellow getting ready to jump off a bridge, ensuring a certain death. He rushed up and says: “Friend, do you believe in a higher power?” The jumper replies in the affirmative so then he asks “pagan or Creator?” The answer is Creator so he asks, Jewish or Christian? When answered with the word Christian he asked, “Catholic or Protestant?” The answer was Protestant so the rescuer began to pursue denominations. Eventually they realized that they were both Baptist, so he asked, “Northern or Southern?” When it was determined that they were both Northern Baptist he asked, “is that the 1913 Council or the 1927 Council?” When the answer came back 1913 he said, “so you might as well jump right now!” 🙂

    1. Here’s a joke Steve Brown tells.
      The captain of a ship spied an uncharted island with smoke rising from it. So he went in a boat to investigate, and they found a castaway who’d been there, all alone, for years. He took the crew on a tour of the island to show them all he’d built.
      “What’s that big building?” asked the captain.
      “Oh, that’s my church.”
      “Very nice! And what’s that other big building, next to it.”
      “That’s the church I build when I got mad at the first church, and quit.”

    2. I heard that same one with synagogues. A Jewish castaway built two lovely synagogues. When rescued they asked why and he said: “One I go to shul every shabbat. The other I wouldn’t set foot in!” 🙂

    1. How do you think Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren found out about her Cherokee ancestry?
      Yes, everybody! There is a member of an Oppressed Minority somewhere in your ancestry! For a trifling fee of $1,800, we can find him for you! And then you, too, can cash in on all those Victim goodies…
      (Maybe I ought to expand this into a satire.)

  5. A righteous man died and was ushered to Heaven by the angels. Once there, St. Peter was showing him around. They came along a tall fence and the righteous man heard people on the other side, so he asked who they were. St. Peter answered, “Oh, that’s the Church of Christ members, they think they are the only ones up here.

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