We had to go to three different stores today to get most, but not all, of the supplies we need for the week. No rubbing alcohol, no toilet paper. And frozen vegetables? In your dreams. Nothing left on the shelves at Stop & Shop and Whole Foods–nothing but cauliflower. Looks like hardly anybody buys it.
The supermarket employees seem to be bearing up well, despite the pressure. We need to be nice to them, they’re doing the best they can. They do show some impatience with hoarders, but who can blame them for that?
On the plus side, it’s a lovely spring day, which permitted me to go outside, where I belong, and write my Newswithviews column while smoking a cigar. I’ll need this weather when it’s time for me to write another book. I have no idea yet how to start it. But that will come.
If I could just get the blasted squirrels to leave our tulips alone!
Happy birthday, Erlene!
If you’ve been wondering where she’s been, the thing is, her computer’s being awkward and she can’t get messages out to us. But Lee puts everything on Facebook after he posts it here, so Erlene’s been following along with us. She’ll be back when she can.
So we wish you, Erlene, a very happy day, lots of cake and tasty, crunchy grass, we pray your son is feeling better by the day, and we’ll all hop up and down when we hear from you again! Or my name’s not Byron the Quokka.
My wife is busy in the kitchen, baking bread, the cats are driving her crazy, meowing for food they like better than what we’ve offered them so far, the garbage can is full to overflowing, so she asked me to feed the cats and change the trash bag.
First I fed the cats, then I took out the full bag and got rid of it. She handed me a fresh bag to put in the can. There were only two bags left in that box, and they both came out at once, so she had to stuff the last one back into the box.
“You didn’t fold that bag,” I said. She stared at me. “Take that bag out of the box again and fold it up nicely.”
You should’ve seen the look I got before she realized I was kidding, just pulling her chain to get a laugh. Which I got.
“I can’t imagine being the kind of person who would say that!” Patty said. “I can’t imagine being married to someone like that.”
Married 42 years, and still laughing together. At the same thing, the same time. Thank you, Lord.
This failed magic trick is one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen. Actually, the trick itself succeeds brilliantly! It’s the ensuing chaos and destruction that’s a problem.
Hey, out there! If you have anything hilarious, cozy, or comforting to share–well, here we are.
“We have encountered a technical problem,” simpers the evil computer. “Please try again later.” And again, and again, and again…
I knocked myself out yesterday to write a Newswithviews column, and then the unspeakable devil of a computer refused to send it. This morning we tried for going on 90 minutes to get the thing to work. I even typed the freakin’ column all over again so I could send it on the other machine—with exactly the same result!
I admit I screamed and pounded on the floor.
And of course we couldn’t buy all our regular groceries yesterday, although I was in the store for twice as long as normally, so we had to go back out today and try Whole Foods. It’s not my kind of store. I want regular working-class food, not this hoity-toity past lives stuff. Well, at least I was able to get wax paper, lettuce, and eggs.
I don’t know about you, but for both Patty and me, this Chinese Death Monster Virus scare has begun to take on an air of unreality. Like, are we stuck in some stupid movie somewhere? Is Kevin Kostner going to turn up in our parking lot?
And it’s kind of like being poor, only you have money… but what good is money if there’s nothing you can buy with it? I am too old to take up a whole new way of life, that of being poverty-stricken.
And still I can’t send the flippin’ email. The computer says no, not allowed.
I hate technology.
Ah! Those “What have I done??” moments!
It shouldn’t even be necessary to mention the limitations of the human mind, in an age that has produced Obamacare and the assorted monstrosities of public education. Whatever else we may be, we ain’t that smart!
I’m still wondering about those freakin’ needles. How could they not be there, again and again, and suddenly they’re there?
Humility is a virtue, but our age views it as a defect.
Our age is profoundly stupid.