Category Archives: Uncategorized

Our Mission Statement

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Thanks to a comment made by Heidi this morning, I’ve been thinking about how to define the purpose of this blog. It was originally set up to promote my Bell Mountain books and hopefully stir up sales; but it has since grown into something more.

It’s not something I set out to do on purpose; it just sort of happened. Much of the credit goes to you, the readers. Together we have done enough to give birth to a mission statement. And here it is. Here’s what this blog is supposed to do.

Provide a place for Christian fellowship, including the posting of hymns, hymn requests, prayer requests, reblogs of posts on other Christian blogs, and Bible study. I love it when readers get to talking to each other. Nor do you have to be a Christian to be allowed in: the door is open to you, too. It’s important for us to comfort, encourage, counsel, inspire, and teach one another.

Praise the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, and the works of God the Creator, proclaim the Lordship of Christ, and assert His crown rights as the King of kings.

Outreach. This blog is a small part of the larger ministry of the Chalcedon Foundation.

Provide opposition to, and skepticism for, the pretensions of secular humanism–the climate change cult, Darwinism, transgender, and all the rest of those Really Smart Ideas that are actually abominable and stupid. The highest card in their hand is their claim to being vastly more intelligent than ordinary people–a claim that must be regularly and vigorously challenged. They deserve to be satirized, and I try to provide that. Hence Joe Collidge.

Provide good humor, pleasant memories, and fun. A good laugh is the gift of God. So is a happy memory. Hence features like “Oy, Rodney” and Memory Lane. And the comment contests, the quokkas, etc.

And yes, I’m still trying to promote my books along the way.

Anyway, that’s our mission–and we’re doing it together.

Save the Blog!

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If you’re reading this, you’re not part of the problem. So don’t feel guilty.

After averaging over 300 views a day all year long, the ol’ blog has been in a slump for going on a week. Fap! Should I be doing more political nooze? Recipes? Advice on getting rich?

Seriously, how can I attract more readers?

The Baluchitherium (above) was the biggest land mammal ever, but the world is fresh out of them. Unless the one in the photo is real. Honk if you think it might be real. I just did.



Comment Contest? What Comment Contest?

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G’day! Byron the Quokka here–and if I ever knew it’d be so much trouble, running a comment contest, I never would’ve volunteered to do it.

Right–we’re shooting for 47,000 comments, we’ve got 46,335, so that leaves 665 comments left to go. I thought we’d be done by now. I blame Lee. He should’ve listened to me and offered a bicycle as a prize. But no, he has to stick to his autographed books.

And then there’s the Bell Mountain Trivia Contest, I have to come up with Question No. 6. Tomorrow, maybe. My mum says running two contests at the same time is fair dinkum loopy and I never should’ve let him do it–but that’s all “How d’you get to Sydney Opera House? Practice, mate–practice!”

Break Up the Spiders’ Union

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The spiders in my neighborhood are a disgrace to their profession.

They’re supposed to catch flies, and there are a lot of them on hand to do it. Their webs are all over the place. A big black spider crawled up my arm the other day while I was writing. I had to shake him off twice before he got the message.

But are they catching flies? I don’t know what the heck they’re doing, but it isn’t catching flies. No–they’re letting the flies flit by. Mostly into our apartment. It keeps me very busy with the fly-swatter, and that’s one skill I was not terribly interested in developing to perfection.

The trouble is, the spiders have a union, International Amalgamated Brother & Sisterhood of Web-Spinners or something like that. Maybe once upon a time they needed a union, but you can say that for just about all unions. Now it’s just an excuse for sitting around the web and doing nothing.

It’s not so bad, compared to the damage done to the whole world by two more famous unions, the Soviet Union and the teachers’ union–but I would like them to catch some of these flies!

Where Did Everybody Go?

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Imagine my disappointment when I dragged myself to the computer this morning and found only 14 views waiting for me, instead of the usual 30 to 60.

I went to bed early last night and got up late today: these allergy attacks are coming at me every two weeks. They last about 48 hours, as in 48 hours of hell. I guess that’s progress: it used to be 72 hours.

Patty suggested I see a doctor; but if I find my way into one more waiting room, I’ll go stir-crazy.

Well, here’s hoping things pick up today. It could be worse. There could be nobody here at all.

But I do hope I wind up this morning with better attendance than a Beto rally.

Sorry! Short on Nooze Today

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Yes, I know this blog has been short on nooze today. Most of my time was taken up with the doctor’s office, food shopping, and writing my book. And by mid-afternoon I was ready to sink back into my burrow and plotz. So my readership took a hit: only the regulars around today. Which is kind of nice, actually.

Anyhow, I’ve already got three whoppers lined up for you tomorrow, so be there or be square!

By Request, ‘Bringing in the Sheaves’

I love this hymn, and I’m so glad Erlene requested it–Bringing in the Sheaves, sung by the unforgettable Tennessee Ernie Ford. Patty heard me playing it and did a little dance: first time she’d done that in a while.

Her ear has begun to fill with fluid again,  but the doctor said not to worry about that: now that he’s made the hole, it’ll drain out. Eventually it will all drain out. Meanwhile, she’s happy she can talk on the phone while holding it to her left ear–couldn’t do that while the ear wasn’t working.

I went to the supermarket after that, it’s only 84 degrees today but it feels hotter than that, and then had a cigar and wrote another chapter of The Wind From Heaven. For some reason I now feel exceedingly tired.

Thank you all for your prayers, and please keep them coming. We need ’em.

Hurray for Patty’s Ear Doctor!

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Well, one problem’s been solved!

Patty’s left ear hasn’t worked for several months, I had to communicate with her by yelling, which doesn’t come natural to me and I don’t like it–but it wasn’t wax buildup. It was fluid behind the eardrum.

This morning the guy went in there with a needle and drained as much of the fluid as he could. Voila! She can hear again! I can stop yelling. Wow, something actually worked!

Everything else is still up in the air, but at least this page has been turned. Thank you all for your prayers–and we still need them. There’s still a long way to go, lots of doctoring left…

Where We’ll Be Today

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New blog posts today won’t be as hard to find as the fence lizard in this picture. That’s because I’ve pre-published a couple, and if it works, they will appear in due course while Patty and I are marooned at the ear doctor’s. We also have to do our grocery shopping for the weekend.

Joe Collidge will put in his customary appearance.

In addition to being naturally hard to see when they cling to the bark of a tree, fence lizards will also circle around, like squirrels, to try to keep the tree trunk between you and then. But they do get tame and friendly if you keep them a while and treat them nicely.

Can’t say the same for Joe.

3 Hours at the Doctor’s

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I could just plotz. Doctoring today took up three hours of the morning. Then I had to revisit my enormous censorship article for a number of edits. Oh! Don’t forget to write a Newswithviews column!

And I am heartily disappointed in the spiders in my neighborhood. They don’t seem to be catching any flies. In fact, I suspect they’re directing flies into our apartment. It would serve them right if I brought in a chameleon. I have never seen a sorrier lot of spiders than these.

But then standards are sinking everywhere.

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