Socialist Utopia Running Out of Toilet Paper

Socialist utopia news update (via today’s Drudge Report): The workers’ paradise of Venezuela reports an acute shortage of–uh-oh!–toilet paper. They’re also kinda low on milk and sanitary napkins and a few other frills; but the big problem is, they’re running out of toilet paper.

Suspecting a sly capitalist plot, government goons–er, troops–have seized the toilet paper factories. [Question: Why didn’t they listen to the Global Warming crowd when Sheryl Crow suggested people be restricted to just two sheets of toilet paper per visit to the john?] The government has ruled out any possibility that its own heavy-handed interference in the manufacturing and supply sector of the national economy could be in any way responsible for shortages. It must be the work of enemies of the people.

But not to worry, America: it can’t happen here.

Because if we run out of toilet paper, a few copies of the 2,500-page Obamacare legislation ought to supply a whole town for a week.

Yes, it’ll hurt, using copies of Obamacare in loo of toilet paper.

But then Obamacare is going to hurt us no matter how we use it.


Leave a Reply