A Silly Name Can Ruin Your Fantasy Novel

I am currently reading a fantasy novel by an established Christian thriller writer who is writing fantasy under a pseudonym.

It looks like the pseudonym was a good idea. A paper bag with eye-holes might be useful to him, too.

This fantasy, published by a major Christian publisher, has absolutely nothing to do with Christianity and no reference to it. (For those who must know, it’s Merchant of Alyss by Thomas Locke, aka Davis Bunn, published by the Baker Publishing Group.) What it is, is a compendium of everybody else’s fantasy cliches. You name it, it’s in here–know-it-all elves, super-powerful wizards, invincible female warriors, a beautiful girl who knows kung-fu, a crusty but benign old mentor… Gimme a break already.

But where this book really belly-flops is with a single name.

The really, really bad guys, you see, are… Milantians. From the country of Mylanta.

What was he thinking of? We expect at any moment to hear of the enchanted kingdom of Maalox, or the Forest of Tums.

If you are writing a fantasy, please do not name any people or places after well-known digestive products.

It just flat-out doesn’t work.

7 comments on “A Silly Name Can Ruin Your Fantasy Novel

  1. Now, that is really dumb. It would be even better if this Thomas Locke could use a diaper brand name, next time, to get us really laughing.

  2. The beautiful women in these action/drama movies and TV shows who kick the butts of strong males becomes so tiring. How many really exist in real life.

    And talking about fantasy. X-President Barack Obama was on David Letterman’s Netflix show saying anyone who watches Fox News is living on another planet. That’s because Obama and his followers are living on planet delusion. He will probably still believe all of his own hype when he’s finally committed to a rest home.

Leave a Reply