Idiot: New Nancy Drew Will Be ‘Diverse’

Vintage Nancy Drew–soon to be demolished by CBS

CBS is planning a new TV series, this one dedicated to making a shambles of the iconic girl detective of kid-lit, Nancy Drew.

According to one of the idiots running CBS, the new Nancy Drew–instead of being a gifted 16-year-old with quick wits, steady nerves, and her own roadster–will be a New York cop in her thirties. Oh, boy. But wait, there’s more!

Whatever else she winds up being, the new Nancy Drew will not be white. Blithered the idiot, “She is diverse.” ( )

Now what the dickens kind of English is that? An individual human being cannot be “diverse.” It’s impossible–unless this unhappy person is able to be several ethnicities at once, change colors like an octopus, and speak every other sentence in a different language. It’d be a great novelty, but it would also wear off fast.

Nancy Drew came along in the 1930s and has been delighting young readers–and some old ones!–ever since. So why can’t they leave her alone?

Because they can’t leave anything alone.

What next? The Hardy Boys as a pair of aging homosexuals? How about Rick Brant the pill-head? Or Tarzan played by Linda Hunt as a Chinese midget living in a gated retirement community in Marlboro, New Jersey?

Will no one defend Nancy Drew from the culture-killers at CBS?

3 comments on “Idiot: New Nancy Drew Will Be ‘Diverse’

  1. Well, it seems as though you’ve done a fine job defending Nancy Drew 🙂 These idiots will not be satisfied until the rest of what remains as familiar and comfortable to us – not to mention sane – has become as idiotic, twisted and vile as they are. The world is becoming more unrecognizable every day and it seems that these dunderheads won’t rest while there is any semblance of sanity or normalcy left. Imagine what they could do with Black Beauty or Snow White. Oh – no wait – are those racist?

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